I, say! Have you heard, old boy? Those well-to-dos at the British Royal Academy of Space Exploration are at it again! They’ve got it in their heads that Mars is the next great land for us to tread on. I even hear that the Queen, of all people, is backing this lunacy! I don’t know about you, but those so-called “scientists” are messing with technology we cannot hope to understand or control! Dangerous, if you bloody well ask me. But think of the glory if it could be done! Mars! You know, I might have just talked myself into joining this little competition of theirs. After all, it’s all for a good cause and I would look simply smashing in a space suit!
Father Geek's Review of Mars Needs Mechanics (prepublished version)