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Subject: Samurai + Zombies = Why has no one thought of this?! rss

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Blorb Plorbst
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I think we're all bozos on this bus.
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Or have they?

but seriously! A remake of 7 Samurai but with Zombies instead of Bandits would rock in a serious fashion.
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Andy Andersen
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Movie or game?
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If Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Then Actions x2 Speak Louder Than Actions
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Have you read The Walking Dead?!?

This would be the shortest movie ever.
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Jeff Yeackle
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CrankyPants wrote:
Or have they?

but seriously! A remake of 7 Samurai but with Zombies instead of Bandits would rock in a serious fashion.




Not Seven Samurai, but at least you get a Zombie Samurai!
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DK Kemler
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CrankyPants wrote:
Or have they?


They have.
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Rob Robinson
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Zé Mário
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Alan Gaskell
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zombiegod wrote:

What the blazes is this all about??

My mind is boggling.....
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D. Watson
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SUCKERPUNCH had granite golem samurai and nazi zombies. Does that count?

It also had young women in small outfits... if that's your cup o' tea. And a weak plot.
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Peter Ferguson
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VALIS13 wrote:
zombiegod wrote:

What the blazes is this all about??

My mind is boggling.....


Well I haven't a clue... so let's recap..


Samurai warrior finds himself surrounded by zombies. Zombies by nature are slow, dumb creatures. To find yourself completely surrounded, and then do nothing but eye them for a good minute or so, shows, that you are not a good samurai.

Samurai then decides to cleave through them like he's cutting a turkey for dinner. Even though he slices through each one, one after another. They some how all die at once. Interesting...

Samurai is relieved that he has survived and decides to go for a nice stroll down by the river, maybe take a piss or something. Of course no one is around... or are they?

Hark.. there is someone else out on the sand bar, how did he get there? who knows ? don't ask questions.

Samurai decided to charge this unknown person for reasons unknown, my guess is that he's pee shy.

He charges and somehow dies, possibly cut in half by a man that stands there with a staff. SO much for our budding protagonist who just kicked off a dozen zombies.

So now there is evil dude just standing there, but wait, there is someone ELSE at this small river bed. Funny, how the first Samurai never heard either of these guys.

So second Samurai in his PETA banned coat glares at evil guy, and then cute sexy Chinese version of Alyson Hannigan appears from behind him. She seems to be his cute little girlfriend. Suddenly various other bad guy warriors appear out of no where, just there. You would think he'd hear some splashing or something.

So naturally, they all stand around and watch as he makes ugly faces at them, and his girlfriend makes cooing "don't do it" eye glances at him. SO what does he do? Lop her head off of course. Personally, the bitch was asking for it.

So now it's about 6 vs 1, and so he obviously thinks he can win, because he charges, and promptly gets his ass kicked pretty easily. Bet he feels stupid now for not just running away, or dissapearing from where ever he came from. After all, he just beamed down like the rest of them.

So now he's dead, the body of the first guy is no where to be seen, and then all the bad guys just dissapear for fun, leaving the dead guy on the ground. No zombies are heard from again.

Now we see some other guy wake up with a wicked hangover and blood on his face, I bet he was at an all night fairy kegger in the woods and he screams out in pain as he realises he was the first to fall asleep and therefor got sodomized by the werebear of the forest. That would make anyone scream in fury.

Hope that helps.
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Peter Ferguson
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NostraDouglas wrote:
SUCKERPUNCH had granite golem samurai and nazi zombies. Does that count?

It also had young women in small outfits... if that's your cup o' tea. And a weak plot.


There was a plot? i thought it was just "hey look at this cool fight seen we came up with including all sorts of ridiculous geek stuff that people will go COOOoooooooll when we put it in slow motion."

Weak plot is being extremely generous.
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CJ
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NostraDouglas wrote:
It also had young women in small outfits... if that's your cup o' tea.


It's not yours?
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D. Watson
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elgin_j wrote:
NostraDouglas wrote:
It also had young women in small outfits... if that's your cup o' tea.


It's not yours?


Good sir, how do you think I managed to get through that weak plot? I bravely battled through to see what outfit they would be wearing next.

SUCKERPUNCH:

Visuals 8.5 out of 10
Plot 2 out of 10
Acting 4 out of 10
Skimpy outfits 11 out of 10

Overall - 4 out of 10, but... skimpy outfits 11 out of 10.
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Rob Robinson
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Gatekeeper3000 wrote:


Well I haven't a clue... so let's recap..


Samurai warrior finds himself surrounded by zombies. Zombies by nature are slow, dumb creatures. To find yourself completely surrounded, and then do nothing but eye them for a good minute or so, shows, that you are not a good samurai.

Samurai then decides to cleave through them like he's cutting a turkey for dinner. Even though he slices through each one, one after another. They some how all die at once. Interesting...

Samurai is relieved that he has survived and decides to go for a nice stroll down by the river, maybe take a piss or something. Of course no one is around... or are they?

Hark.. there is someone else out on the sand bar, how did he get there? who knows ? don't ask questions.

Samurai decided to charge this unknown person for reasons unknown, my guess is that he's pee shy.

He charges and somehow dies, possibly cut in half by a man that stands there with a staff. SO much for our budding protagonist who just kicked off a dozen zombies.

So now there is evil dude just standing there, but wait, there is someone ELSE at this small river bed. Funny, how the first Samurai never heard either of these guys.

So second Samurai in his PETA banned coat glares at evil guy, and then cute sexy Chinese version of Alyson Hannigan appears from behind him. She seems to be his cute little girlfriend. Suddenly various other bad guy warriors appear out of no where, just there. You would think he'd hear some splashing or something.

So naturally, they all stand around and watch as he makes ugly faces at them, and his girlfriend makes cooing "don't do it" eye glances at him. SO what does he do? Lop her head off of course. Personally, the bitch was asking for it.

So now it's about 6 vs 1, and so he obviously thinks he can win, because he charges, and promptly gets his ass kicked pretty easily. Bet he feels stupid now for not just running away, or dissapearing from where ever he came from. After all, he just beamed down like the rest of them.

So now he's dead, the body of the first guy is no where to be seen, and then all the bad guys just dissapear for fun, leaving the dead guy on the ground. No zombies are heard from again.

Now we see some other guy wake up with a wicked hangover and blood on his face, I bet he was at an all night fairy kegger in the woods and he screams out in pain as he realises he was the first to fall asleep and therefor got sodomized by the werebear of the forest. That would make anyone scream in fury.

Hope that helps.


The storyline is simple enough - prisoners escape, get double crossed, then find out they're in a "forest of resurrection" full of zombies that don't like yakuza very much. That's all you really need to know.

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George Kinney
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Surprised no one mentioned Onechonbara

http://www.d3publisher.us/ProductDetails.asp?ProductID=57

Kinda like Suckerpunch I guess, without all the overhead of a plot...
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David K
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BoardGameGeek » Forums » Everything Else » Chit Chat
Re: Samurai + Zombies = Why has no one thought of this?!
zombiegod wrote:


The name of this movie is "Versus"?
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Peter Ferguson
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Gatekeeper3000 wrote:
NostraDouglas wrote:
SUCKERPUNCH had granite golem samurai and nazi zombies. Does that count?

It also had young women in small outfits... if that's your cup o' tea. And a weak plot.


There was a plot? i thought it was just "hey look at this cool fight seen we came up with including all sorts of ridiculous geek stuff that people will go COOOoooooooll when we put it in slow motion."

Weak plot is being extremely generous.


I just got in an argument with my good friend on the Merits of suckerpunch. He apparently liked it... I wonder if we watched the same movie.
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