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Subject: Every play a game of worse parent? rss

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Matt Riddle
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It doesnt come up much anymore as the riddlenettes are older, but I can remember having "who is the worse parent" contests when one of them was crying or something untoward (but safe) was going on and we both pretended not to notice/hear it.
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The neutral evil villain known as
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Once my son was throwing a HUGE fit over putting on clothes to go to school. He was 5 and it was preschool, so I let him wear his pajamas. Who cares... They were blue flannel and had dogs and trains on them. I picked him up from school, so I thought mom would never know. two weeks or so later, his mom is emptying out his backpack and says, "Hey! Mitchell got school pictures!" Guess which day they took them...
I am still hearing about that.
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Billy the Hut
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Phil of Mars wrote:
Once my son was throwing a HUGE fit over putting on clothes to go to school. He was 5 and it was preschool, so I let him wear his pajamas. Who cares... They were blue flannel and had dogs and trains on them. I picked him up from school, so I thought mom would never know. two weeks or so later, his mom is emptying out his backpack and says, "Hey! Mitchell got school pictures!" Guess which day they took them...
I am still hearing about that.

Well, when I was a kid, if I'd been allow to show up at school in my PJs I would have considered the parent that let me get away with that the Best parent.
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Andy Andersen
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My youngest son told me one day "you like John more than me" and my response was "yes I do." You should have seen the look on his face. We talked about favoritism (and lack of) and it didn't come up again. He was about 4 - quick learner.
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Billythehut wrote:

Well, when I was a kid, if I'd been allow to show up at school in my PJs I would have considered the parent that let me get away with that the Best parent.



When he was in his superman phase later that year, I let him wear his superman pajamas under his clothes (They looked like the actual costume with a cape and everything).
The teacher said that half the time she looked for him, he was clark, the other half he was flying around the room.
My wife is a teacher and has little humor over these stories.

I'll have to see if I can find that school picture.
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Brian Bankler
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Do I ever play a game of worse parent?

Every. Goddamn. Day.
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Billy the Hut
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Phil of Mars wrote:
When he was in his superman phase later that year, I let him wear his superman pajamas under his clothes (They looked like the actual costume with a cape and everything).
The teacher said that half the time she looked for him, he was clark, the other half he was flying around the room.

Very cool.cool

When my son was young we had occasion to live overseas a few times. Once when we were flying home we got to spend a day in Paris. My son was little then, and had a Batman outfit that he insisted on wearing. So I had the pleasure of going to the top of the Eiffel tower while holding hands with Batman! It's one of my favorite memories.
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W M Shubert
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BoardGameGeek » Forums » Everything Else » Chit Chat
Re: Every play a game of worse parent?
My youngest, for the first full year of her life, had two basic states: 1) being held by mommy, maybe sleeping or nursing, or 2) screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm not kidding. Every single freaking moment that my wife wasn't holding her she was screaming and crying. My wife got understandably frustrated, and the only thing that stopped her from blaming me for being incompetent at holding children was the fact that my mother in law couldn't hold the youngest either.

So whenever I watched the kids, for about an hour I would hold a screaming baby. Then, fearing for my own sanity, I would put her in a crib or bassinet, leave her in a room with the door closed, and go as far as I could to the other side of the house. Then usually play with the older daughter or some such and try not to hear the screaming and crying coming from the other side of the house.

It really was heartbreaking. I wanted so bad to help her, but I could only hold a screaming baby for so long, and realistically it probably didn't matter to her a bit; she screamed just as much when I held her as when I left her sitting by herself in an empty room. Still, it felt like I was a complete failure as a parent during those times. I always tell people, if the second child had come first - she would have been an only child.

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wmshub wrote:
My youngest, for the first full year of her life, had two basic states: 1) being held by mommy, maybe sleeping or nursing, or 2) screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm not kidding. Every single freaking moment that my wife wasn't holding her she was screaming and crying. My wife got understandably frustrated, and the only thing that stopped her from blaming me for being incompetent at holding children was the fact that my mother in law couldn't hold the youngest either.


My friend had a baby like that. He was a nightmare. How is she now? I ask because Spenser is the quietest kid I now know. He barely talks!
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Peter Ferguson
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wmshub wrote:


It really was heartbreaking. I wanted so bad to help her, but I could only hold a screaming baby for so long, and realistically it probably didn't matter to her a bit; she screamed just as much when I held her as when I left her sitting by herself in an empty room. Still, it felt like I was a complete failure as a parent during those times. I always tell people, if the second child had come first - she would have been an only child.



And people wonder why mother's murder their children. Add this scenario with severe depression, and it's pretty obvious what the answer will be. My wife's aunt said the same thing, Child #3 was severely colic, and cried non stop for the first 3-4 months. She said if it was her first, it would have been her only child.

We are lucky in that respect, both kids were good in that way. First daughter had issues with going to sleep.

In an episode of Modern Family. Cam comes into the room and Mitchel says "Did you just put lilly down?"
Cam says "Oh, I put her down 20 minutes ago, it just took me that long to get out of the room"

Such a small comment, but I laughed, because that was how my first daughter was. I had to litterally take a small step every 30 seconds and work my weight properly as not to invoke the slightest "creak" of the floor. If she heard such a creak, her eyes leaped open and she just watched me, if I left the room, she'd cry.

I can remember once taking an hour to get out of her room, simply because I had to do multiple attempts.

The second one isn't so bad, some times I have to do the slow exit, but usually not that long.


As for worse parent? Umm, occasionally I am blamed for worse parent in a round about way. "You forgot to give her, her medicine? Come on!!! get with the program" you know stuff like that. Making a mistake is human, making a mistake with kids involved = worst parent ever! Doing good things with kids = totally ignored.

I never blame my wife for any mistakes, even when she's done something really dumb. (like the time she boiled water to sterilize a couple new bottles, and forgot them on the stove. Water evaportated, and bottles melted in the pot.. lol.. oh wait, I got blamed for that too..)

However her Dad does the blaming for me... Apparently in his era, kids never cried, they always loved their family and elders. Never had temper tantrums, and skipped along. They openly discussed everything about their day, and never have a frown.

Since my kids show some of these signs, apparently we're bad parents. (not that he comes right out and says this..) He'll make off comments like "my granddaughter doesn't like me" or "should she really be screaming like that, my kids never did that."

or "what's wrong with her? why is she always so grumpy"

OH, then the teasing. Yes, apparently "teasing my kid into tears" is his version of "playing with them" and "having fun".

Like the time he continually threatened my daughter that she would have to eat her dinner outside on the patio by herself. To the point where she ran upstairs crying and scared. My FIL wasn't punishing her for something "just having fun"

yeash.
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Brian Bankler
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Gatekeeper3000 wrote:


In an episode of Modern Family. Cam comes into the room and Mitchel says "Did you just put lilly down?"
Cam says "Oh, I put her down 20 minutes ago, it just took me that long to get out of the room"

Such a small comment, but I laughed, because that was how my first daughter was. I had to litterally take a small step every 30 seconds and work my weight properly as not to invoke the slightest "creak" of the floor. If she heard such a creak, her eyes leaped open and she just watched me, if I left the room, she'd cry.

I can remember once taking an hour to get out of her room, simply because I had to do multiple attempts.



I had to do something similar, so I present A Tip for Parents about to Go Through this.

1) Put some cloth around the crib, or otherwise make it so that the baby can see you if you sit on the floor, but only if he/she sits up. (This only works on babies who can sit up, naturally).
2) Put baby in crib.
3) Sit on floor.
4) Baby sits up and watches you. Lie down and pretend to go to sleep. Actually going to sleep works, if you can.
5) After a few minutes, (tired) baby will lie down.
5a) Tricky babies will pop back up once or twice in a few minutes, but after about 5 minutes it's safe.
6) Crawl out of the room.

After a few nights my daughter got used to the idea of not seeing anyone and the routine went to something more normal. By the time she figured out I hadn't really been there she was old enough not to care.
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Peter Ferguson
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Bankler wrote:


I had to do something similar, so I present A Tip for Parents about to Go Through this.


4) Baby sits up and watches you. Lie down and pretend to go to sleep. Actually going to sleep works, if you can.


One time my first daughter woke up at like 2am, and just wouldn't go back to sleep. Ok if I was in the room, but cried if I left. I was sooo tired, my eyes were hanging out of my skull and I couldn't stand because I kept falling asleep while standing.

So I laid down, and figured the same as you. I'll lay down for awhile, when she's asleep, i'll creep or crawl out.

Suddenly I wake up. She's asleep, and apparently I was too, for how long? No clocks in the room, my back feels like a twisted mess, and i'm freezing cold. I crawl my way out (because it's hard for me to stand). Finally I get up, go to the room and realise I was out for 2 hrs.

Man, what a night.
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Blorb Plorbst
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Bankler wrote:
Gatekeeper3000 wrote:


In an episode of Modern Family. Cam comes into the room and Mitchel says "Did you just put lilly down?"
Cam says "Oh, I put her down 20 minutes ago, it just took me that long to get out of the room"

Such a small comment, but I laughed, because that was how my first daughter was. I had to litterally take a small step every 30 seconds and work my weight properly as not to invoke the slightest "creak" of the floor. If she heard such a creak, her eyes leaped open and she just watched me, if I left the room, she'd cry.

I can remember once taking an hour to get out of her room, simply because I had to do multiple attempts.



I had to do something similar, so I present A Tip for Parents about to Go Through this.

1) Put some cloth around the crib, or otherwise make it so that the baby can see you if you sit on the floor, but only if he/she sits up. (This only works on babies who can sit up, naturally).
2) Put baby in crib.
3) Sit on floor.
4) Baby sits up and watches you. Lie down and pretend to go to sleep. Actually going to sleep works, if you can.
5) After a few minutes, (tired) baby will lie down.
5a) Tricky babies will pop back up once or twice in a few minutes, but after about 5 minutes it's safe.
6) Crawl out of the room.

After a few nights my daughter got used to the idea of not seeing anyone and the routine went to something more normal. By the time she figured out I hadn't really been there she was old enough not to care.


Here's another tip: as long as they're fed, warm and dry, let them cry.

After a couple nights, they'll get the point and you'll never have to deal with extended bed times again.
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W M Shubert
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Phil of Mars wrote:
wmshub wrote:
My youngest, for the first full year of her life, had two basic states: 1) being held by mommy, maybe sleeping or nursing, or 2) screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm not kidding. Every single freaking moment that my wife wasn't holding her she was screaming and crying. My wife got understandably frustrated, and the only thing that stopped her from blaming me for being incompetent at holding children was the fact that my mother in law couldn't hold the youngest either.


My friend had a baby like that. He was a nightmare. How is she now? I ask because Spenser is the quietest kid I now know. He barely talks!
My youngest is shy around strangers, but not around the family. Now that she's older, I can see why as a baby she was so colicky. She is extremely pain sensitive, both to physical pain and (real or imagined) personal insults. Something as simple as "Lucy, you need to get ready to go," can lead to either a screaming fit of anger or else a meltdown crying ("I AM READY TO GO!"). This has gotten slowly better as she gets older (she is now 6) but it has been very hard for her to learn to manage these out of control negative emotions. I suspect that as a baby she just got these all the time and would always act on them by screaming and crying.
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