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Cards Against Humanity» Forums » General

Subject: DIY card ideas rss

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Erik Tietz
United States
Bloomington
Minnesota
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My friends and I have been making a lot of our own cards, I thought we would share some of our ideas. If any have similarities to cards that we haven't seen before, oops.

Spoiler (click to reveal)

band geeks
hugging your grandma while you have an erection
cutting his dick off
that guy who is pretty much a dick but you're still friends with him anyway
Down Syndrome
a porn star with daddy issues
a 60 year old who is hot in a weird way
making a girl pay on the first date
gay cowboys eating pudding
losing your virginity to someone you just met at a frat party
illegal immigrants
telling a nun to eat a dick
a really ugly baby
Fat American children
a cripple fight
homoerotic frat boys
just the tip
gay midget donkey porn
anal warts
yellow snow
girl scouts on steroids
smelly hippies
a racist uncle
New England Clam Chowder
putting out on the first date
a ninja with diarrhea
drinking alone
throwing up in your mouth a little
an attractive midget
sniffing glue
a person who is a douche but still hot
duck tales
jackass 19 year olds who wear sunglasses at the poker table
a fat ass in spandex
having dinner with your ex
AC Slater's curly mullet
a cheesy discharge
taking fantasy football way too seriously
not using enough lube
that crazy bitch you work with
burning when you pee
that stuff between your toes
a dead hooker
cookies and kittens
the second time I got crabs
drunkenly texting an ex
richard simmons in a pink sparkly tanktop
boobs that sag down to her knees
America (fuck ya)
lying to a girl to get her to put out
a wet willy
Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock
me in a thong
a Maury Povitch paternity test
a gold digger
realizing too late that there is no toilet paper left
because FU, that's why
beer farts
pizza, pot and porn
your ass hurting from wiping too much
going to black friday sales at 4am
breath so bad that your butt is mad at your mouth
getting your period for the first time
a whiny Taylor Swift song about a guy screwing her over
a bitchy email from your boss
a bushy mustache
going gay for Ryan Gossling
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Josh Helton
United States
Pueblo
Colorado
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White cards
Spoiler (click to reveal)
An uncomfortably attractive pre-op transvestite
Three Asian strippers, two porn stars, and a suitcase full of blow
Secondhand adult diapers
Fred Phelps being sodomized with a wookie. (Yes, with, not by)
Riding the Frenchman


Black cards
Spoiler (click to reveal)
They found _____ in the dumpster behind the abortion clinic.
Our most powerful weapon on the day of the zombie apocalypse will be ____.
I love the smell of ____ in the morning.
What will be our last chance for salvation when our new robot overlords take over?
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Erik Tietz
United States
Bloomington
Minnesota
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dopehatman wrote:
White cards
Spoiler (click to reveal)
An uncomfortably attractive pre-op transvestite
Three Asian strippers, two porn stars, and a suitcase full of blow
Secondhand adult diapers
Fred Phelps being sodomized with a wookie. (Yes, with, not by)
Riding the Frenchman


Black cards
Spoiler (click to reveal)
They found _____ in the dumpster behind the abortion clinic.
Our most powerful weapon on the day of the zombie apocalypse will be ____.
I love the smell of ____ in the morning.
What will be our last chance for salvation when our new robot overlords take over?


Nice!

White
Spoiler (click to reveal)

a wheelchair death race
amputee sex
the CIA selling crack in the inner-city
trying to be nice while describing a friend's ugly baby
getting a lapdance from Hilary Clinton
Chris Farley seductively rubbing his nipples
a failed abortion
gaining 100 pounds after you get married


Black
Spoiler (click to reveal)

When you wake up from a night of heavy drinking, you usually regret ____
2 things you need to survive on a deserted island
When I saw your mom naked, it reminded me of ________
The best xmas present my grandma ever gave me was ________
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Josh Helton
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Pueblo
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I'm so stealing the Chris Farley one lol

White
Spoiler (click to reveal)
A crippled albino midget
Kicking a man while he's Tebowing
A bucket of angry tiger cubs

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Santosh Gupta
United States
California
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These are brilliant!

Can't wait to try these.
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Daniel Mendez
United States
Huntington Beach
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Really diggin' it, will have to put some of these in my games.
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Britton Learnard
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Here are some of the cards from a few custom expansions I made.

Black Cards
Spoiler (click to reveal)
Scientists have reverse engineered alien technology that
unlocks the secrets of ________.

It is often argued that our ancestors would have never evolved
without the aid of _________.

The sad truth is, at the edge of the universe, there is nothing but ______.

______ a day, keeps ______ away.

The 1930's is often regarded as the golden age of ______.

There is a time for peace, a time for war, and a time for _______.

If a pot of gold is on one end of the rainbow, what is on the other?

A fortune teller told me I will live a life filled with________.

The Himalayas are filled with many perils, such as _______.

The road to success is paved with ____________.

________ in the morning, sailors take warning.

Virgil then guided Dante to the 10th circle of hell, where sinners were
condemned to an eternity of ___________.

I work out so that I can look good when I'm __________.

What's the time? __________ time!

"Watson!" Holmes exclaimed, "This man was obviously killed by __________!"

The theme for our senior prom will be __________.

And on his farm he had ___________, e-i-e-i-o!

Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% ____________.

I will not eat them Sam-I-Am. I will not eat _____________.

Go-go Gadget ___________!


More to come later.
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K F
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I wanted to ask, what font/size is the best approximation of what is used in the official game?
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Brent Wilson
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Montgomery
Illinois
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I'm subscribing to this thread. Keep it coming.
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K F
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Cards Against Humanity » Forums » General
Re: DIY card ideas
I have found the font that I believe is closest to what is used on the original cards: Helvetica Neue 75 Bold. Does anyone happen to know what it actually is?
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Nick Hayes
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Los Angeles
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Bowzachi wrote:
I have found the font that I believe is closest to what is used on the original cards: Helvetica Neue 75 Bold. Does anyone happen to know what it actually is?

Good eyes. It is Helvetica. The game's graphic designer mentioned that on his blog.
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K F
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Cool. I am wondering if anyone who has done a DIY expansion has tried to emulate the actual game (not print and play)

I am trying to find a printing company that #1 is affordable and #2 has a comparable card stock to the cards in the retail game, as far as I can tell it's almost exactly the dimensions and cut of a standard Bicycle poker card, 63mm x 88mm. Trying to find a good match for the shape of the card (roundedness of corners), thickness, and lamination/finish.
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Kori
United States
Overland Park
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Bowzachi wrote:
Cool. I am wondering if anyone who has done a DIY expansion has tried to emulate the actual game (not print and play)

I am trying to find a printing company that #1 is affordable and #2 has a comparable card stock to the cards in the retail game, as far as I can tell it's almost exactly the dimensions and cut of a standard Bicycle poker card, 63mm x 88mm. Trying to find a good match for the shape of the card (roundedness of corners), thickness, and lamination/finish.


I am about to send off for a professionally made set that is reasonably priced (especially with a coupon!) and should match the game pretty closely. At least it should match the original set which is made just a bit different. I'll let you know how they turn out!
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Glenn Martin
Canada
Ottawa
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This is taken from the web show "The Guild" for a white card.

"Crying hysterically until his pants go back on."
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Chris Kenyon
United States
New York
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New guy here... some suggestions for white cards:

erectile dysfunction
your face
victims of lead-based paint
dead puppies
the orchestra that played as the Titanic went down
your inner thighs
butt acne
a gas station bathroom
David Hasselhoff
jock itch
unidentifiable spots on your dick
salmonella
a yeast infection
rodent feces
spontaneous human combustion
tuna noodle casserole
seabirds strangled by plastic six-pack rings
sexual experimentation in college
back hair
genital warts
belly button lint
the Jonestown cult suicides
finding out that your lover is gay
hair in the shower drain
rotting elk carcasses
fucking while watching Schindler's List
clubbing a baby seal
pedophilia
botulism
toenail fungus
slavery
anyone who puts Baby in a corner



Will post more as I come up with them.
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Josh Orourke
United States
Portland
OR
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Some great ideas! I'm working on an expansion and hope to print it soon. Here are a few, sorry if there are any repeats:

Black Cards:
The road to hell is paved with…
Happiness is a warm…
What time is it? …time!
...the other white meat
...cool story bro
...too soon?

White Cards:
My dick in a box
Dropping the N bomb
Tripping Balls
The One cheek sneak
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Doug Lev
United States
New Jersey
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My wife, brother-in-law, and I bunch of expansions to the cards. At this point, we have about half old ones, half new ones. Here are a few...

The children. The tender, tender children.
Explaining David Carradine's moments to a kindergarten class.
Literally bowling for babies.
The country of Africa.
The Midas touch.
Bronies.
The Great War.
Ronald McDonald.
Being one day away from retirement in an 80's cop movie.
Shit just everywhere.

___. It's what's for dinner.
What's the reason we can't have nice things?
Professor Plum in the study with ___.
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Michael Nerman
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Winnipeg
Manitoba
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A lot of great ones here! I've got a handful of them, presented here in alphabetical order:

White cards:
Attaching lightsabers to your tank
Being a mother-fucking time traveller
Borrowing 50 Shades of Gray from the public library
Busen Memo
Cards Against Humanity
A chainsaw
Cheating at Twister(R)
A clown slipping on a banana feel and falling to his death
The cream from Orea cookies
An erection lasting longer than four hours
erotic fan fiction starring Mario and Princess Peach
Furniture porn
Getting a yeast infection in your belly button
Getting caught by Superman, only to have your spine break on the impact
The Ghost Busters(R)
Having a possessed hand
Having wood for sheep
Hemmorhoids
Hippies
Honey Boo-boo
A jar full of used condoms
A latex allergy
Magic: The Gathering
Noticing blood in your urine
Old white men
Pirates
Playing Twister with unattractive people
Power Rangers
Rednecksploitation
Scurvy
Shit smeared on the wall in a public restroom
The smell of geeks at a convention
Smurfs
Spelling dirty words while playing Scrabble with your kids
A Spider-Man fetish
Sweat that smells like curry
Watching pornography in public
Watching U-Tube videos at a party
Yo' Momma
Yo' Momma jokes
Your face

Black cards:
_______: It's part of a complete breakfast
If I were a superhero, what would my one weakness be?
In truth, 911 was orchestrated by _____
The police are concerned about a recent increase in crime involving ____
What's the Caramilk(R) secret?
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
When I was young, we didn't have any fancy _____
Why did the chicken cross the road?

That was too fun! I apologize if any of these are repeats.
 
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Luis
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Here are mine. I've tried to filter out the ones that were internet ideas, and left the purely original ones. Some may still have crept in; it's been a while since I made these. Apologies if I've represented your funniness as mine.

White:
A Super-8 film of my Grandmother's first gangbang.
The female orgasm.
Hurling like my prom date.
The ill-advised NAMBLA/UNICEF joint venture.
Poop from a butt.
A Zyklon B milkshake.
That creepy stare that austitic kids always give people.
Repealing women's suffrage.
Blackface.
Finding a Realdoll that was clearly repeatedly stabbed mid-sex-act, at your friend's house.
Upvotes.
Low hanging fruit.
My Fleshlight®.
Attending church.
A Bronie/Clopper gang rumble.
[citation needed]
What's-his-face.
All the things!
Schadenfreude.
A mouth yeast-infection.
Letting yourself go.

Black:

/r/___________.

_______ ? Dude, that shit's for faggots.

_______ ? Actually, Snopes proved that was just an urban myth.
 
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Registration IsDumb
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Just a warning. This list is pretty terrible because I have a warped sense of humor. Please don't be offended. Just accept that laughing at the failures and faults of humans is the only logical conclusion to living in our horrid little world. Cheers.

Here are mine.
Black Cards:

The doctor said I have a case of ____.
____ is the first step on a road to success.
I'd suck a dick for ____.
The best thing about life on the rez?
As a kid, I was afraid ____ was hiding under my bed.
____ is winning?
And the angel said unto them ____
Closed captioning brought to you by ____
In Dante's inferno the 8th level of hell is ____.
Why was the great wall built?
What did I just eat?
Faster than light travel, powered by ____.
Let me hear your warcry!
What was your major in college?
What was the fall of Rome?
What is mankind's last hope?
I've an itch and the only cure is more ____.
The faithful are flocking to see Jesus's image on ____.
What were your daughter's first words?
Ann Frank's 'Penthouse Confession', titled ____.
Grandma always said ____ will make you go blind.
The first item on my bucket list? Why ____ of course!
____ gives the worst morning breath.
____ was responsible for the advancement of woman's rights.
What is the cure for world hunger?
My psychologist told me to ____ to broaden my horizons.
My favorite bed time story?
Muffins go great with ____.
Fish tacos with ____ and cheese.
Studies have shown ____ is good for you.
What feels better going out than coming in?
____ is how I got promoted!
Get rich quick with ____.
____ isn't even my final form.
Heroin: a proud supporter of ____.
I dropped my dog off at the pound and picked up ____.
Tonight’s special is ____.
The newest killer app is called ____.
The real cause of the Vietnam war was ____.
____ the 8th deadly sin.
For only 25¢ a day, you can provide a child in Africa with ____.
In an exclusive CNN interview the pope revealed his new hobby, ____.
The internet has provided me with ____.

Pick two:
The best part of waking up is ____ in your ____
Microsoft just release its new browser with ____ support.
To initiate clean fusion ____ is slammed into ____.
____ is the root of all ____.
____ + ____ = world peace.
____ bringer of ____.
____ + ____ = a good time.

Draw 2, Pick 3
Yankee Doodle stuck a ____ in his ____ and called it ____.



My White cards:


Best Korea
a defective rape whistle
anal tearing
pedophilia
Catholicism
masturbating to a picture of Muhammad
Jim Crow laws
auto-erotic asphyxiation (the ole' choke n' stroke)
a burning cross
charlie sheen
the ability to fly
vampires
cyberpunk
executive order 9066 (Japanese relocation)
midgets
less lethal ammunition
predator drones
bestiality
ambiguous genitalia
A2OGM
a racially charged social mixer
badger cum
goatse tight
Snooki's gaping orifices
Helen Keller with broken hands
unwanted assisted suicide
hiding the cure for AIDS.
tongue punching a fartbox.
a public blumpkin
aggressive furry sex
an overflowing catbox
hoarding
piles of baby teeth
OCD
ponzi scheme
backne
a discreet prostate massage
maple syrup enema
'MURICA!
unicorn cosplay
'We require more minerals!'
holocaust denial
black people Asians
Kim Jong Ill
Kim Jong Un
Go fuck yourself
R. Kelly's dirty sheets
bloody nipples
dentata related injuries
hemorroidal pain
bubonic plague
bubonic plague infected tampons
feltching straw
necromancy
a gentle prolapse kiss
pubic lice
butch gym teachers
truck-a-saurus hands
J-pop
grumpy cat
Schrodinger’s cat
the threat of deportation to Mexico
being naked under a burka
working at Foxconn
OP is a FAG
Yer shits all tarded and you talk like a fag
disemboweling your enemies
crucifixion
a fresh Cleveland steamer
a milky dirty sanchez
sever scrotal itchiness
pedobear
highly skilled Chinese babies
the ambiguously gay duo
gang rape
the white ranger
Le waffle stomp
accepting Hitler did nothing wrong
beef curtains
jail-bait
eating da poo-poo
mullets
cheap Mexican labor
cam whores
the sound of your parents having sex
politically motivated 'hunting accidents'
using Icy Hot as lube
lava shits
Jeffry Dahlmer
milking welfare
honor killings
masturbation induced carpal tunnel syndrome
ass cancer
genocide
pretending to be crippled for sympathy
bum shock fights
snorting MSG off of a fat coworker
Thai lady boy
human trafficking
white slavery
snuff films featuring Richard Simmons
sheep shagging
cum box
'The STD Express'
a fistful of assholes
drug laced gummy bears
the Jonestown massacre
Kevin Sorbo
overflowing chamber pot
extra large butt plug
a double bagger date
STAHP!
sever emotions scarring
PTSD
DVDA
six foot double dildo
a screaming seagull
household pets, the other other white meat
 
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Registration IsDumb
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I needed a way of creating new cards that matched other versions in a very portable easy to edit way so my wife could help come up with some too.

Here is the template I made.
http://www.fileswap.com/dl/i9r0HOAVho/
http://www.fileswap.com/dl/K7lNLHKgIl/
 
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David Jenkins
United States
Riverside
California
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Anyone else come up with any cards outside of the normal black card formats of Pick 1, Pick 2, and Draw 2 Pick 3? I came up with a Draw 3 Pick 4 that I put on one of the blank cards from the expansions recently, and the first time we played it went over pretty well. I wish I remembered all five of the answers.

'_____ decided it was time for _____ because they were tired of _____ interfering with _____'

The three responses I do remember were
Kim Jong Il decided it was time for the inevitable heat death of the universe because they were tired of BATMAN!!! interfering with a low standard of living.
Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II decided it was time for vehicular manslaughter because they were tired of Tom Cruise interfering with spring break.
Pedophiles decided it was time for sweet sweet vengeance because they were tired of a middle-aged man on roller skates interfering with a good sniff.
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Chris Kenyon
United States
New York
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Hey everyone,

I'm back with a few more white cards I've come up with over the last few months:

First Degree Murder
unrealistic expectations
scabies
being hit on in church
tainted pet food
a feeding frenzy
skinheads
sneezing on the salad bar
a urine sample
a gaping wound
a banana hammock
a kidney stone
a Jesus beard
a booty call
Hepatitis A
poor vaginal hygiene
children who are molested by priests
a prostate exam
dancing on Mother Theresa's grave
a spit valve
children who are accidentally locked in refrigerators
being stabbed to death with a butter knife
electroshock therapy
cow-tipping
a cantaloupe-sized tumor


Will post more when I've got them...
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Josh Helton
United States
Pueblo
Colorado
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ckenyon1964 wrote:

dancing on Mother Theresa's grave


That needs to be either:
tap-dancing on Mother Theresa's grave

or

break-dancing on Mother Theresa's grave
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Gwendolyn Kinsman
United States
A Town
Ohio
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White cards that my friends and I created:

Rape
Jon Oates Mustache
Alcoholism
Dumbasses
Uncontrollably ejaculating
Channing Tatum
Bumping and Grinding
Frodo and Sam's weirdly homoerotic relationship
Grandpa's collection of furry porn
Bull testicles
Little Boys
Male prostitutes
A fucking terrible human being
Lying to children
A ballgag
Voldemort's missing nose
My hand
A haunted house full of pedophiles
The dark Lord Sauron
Having sex with an Ent.
Monster cocks
Barebacking
The homoerotic undertones of the movie Inception
Jerking off to the Tea Party
Michael Jackson in a Barney costume
Aborted fetuses
Doing a striptease to a boy band song
Sweet little baby Jesus
Using cum as coffee creamer
writing a tell all book about the joys of anal sex.
Lousy sex
The thought of dying children
Having hate sex with a feminist
Fucking a penguin
A foot fetish
Being rode hard and put away wet
Intense eye fucking
A rim job from a heavily bearded man
Unwanted sexual contact
Picking up dates in the ballpit at Chuck E Cheese
Sparkling vampires
Sexually attractive animals
Mel Gibson
Cock rings
Bondage and Domination
Howard Stern choking on a cock
Sad clown sex
Taking advantage of the poor and needy
Drinking urine
The entire cast of Glee on fire
Badly written erotica
A vibrating strap-on
Sex in a cage
Getting sexually aroused by serial killers
Getting hard thinking about the Holocaust
Marrying your sister
Adolf Hitler's mustache
Adolf Hitler
Elderly blowjobs
Accidentally playing grabass with your father
Smelly pirate hookers
Whore Island
A bear shitting in the woods
Finding your parent's sex tape
Anal leakage
Never ending gay porn
Projectile lava poops
Using a vacuum hose on your penis
Snooki's vagina
One dollar blowjobs
A hung black guy
Kissing cousins
Cock gobbling
Wild and rough gay sex
Wearing a suit made out of skin
Child abuse
Indecent exposure at a children's park
Jokes about slavery
They gay kama sutra of sex positions
Having sex with a sock puppet
Syphilis
Being a zombie
Telling kids that they killed Santa when they are bad
Having sex to Bob Ross on PBS
A blowjob with teeth
Riding a unicorn
Kristen Stewart's one acting face
Intense frottage
Feeding cum filled Twinkies to your enemy
Having the best sex of your life with a blowup doll
Bedazzled vaginas
Children having asthma attacks
Abraham Lincoln
Bert and Ernie's suspicious relationship on Sesame Street
Cum stained sheets
Reaching climax during a child's funeral
Drinking cum out of a used condom
An adult circumcision
Penises dissolving in a vat of acid

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