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Gameoholics Unanimous

A blog mostly to post my hilariously written, and insightful session reports, from out little gaming group, we have dubbed Gamoholics Unanimous. Expect to see some equally hilariously well written and insightful mental drippings, as well.

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Greek Art: Cyclades and Modern Art

Ken Dilloo
United States
Bothell
Washington
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So, with 5 players attending, I was thrilled to get the new to me game Cyclades, to the table. Especially, after painting literal armies of minis. After a tense and relatively quick buildup; Pat subsequently being bestowed with the blessing of Apollo, had the means to convince the god Athena to do his bidding. Calling forth the Chimera, who took the form of the Satyr, he stole the philosophical knowledge to build his 2nd metropolis, and snatched victory in the eyes of defeat; with everyone a move or two from victory. Fantastic stuff.

Not sure if it would have mattered, but I just realized we should have completed that last turn. If someone would have been able to claim a 2nd metropolis, on that turn, it would have gone to a tie-break.

After eating and drinking honey and ambrosia with the gods, Pat then sold his soul to Hades to make the most profitable living buying and selling Modern Art. Of course, this road to prosperity was fraught with peril, foul language, stress, poor judgement, and frankly to much time :-) So much for the 45 min listed playtime....again. At least Yoko resurrected her fledgling career.
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Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:58 am
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Cthulhu Pirates: An odd night of Elder Signs with Merchants and Marauders.

Ken Dilloo
United States
Bothell
Washington
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So, while we waited for Cap'n Bolcer to make it across the pond; Pat, Kevin, and I explored the New World, Arkham Museum looking for the Elder Sign. Or, as it was quickly dubbed, "Cthulhu Yahtzee", much to my chagrin. After looking like victory was going to come easily and with little mess, the game quickly got away from us, and the Great Old One, Yig, awoke and devoured us. After consulting the ancient tome (i.e. the rule book); new, brave investigators filled in and handily beat the Ancient One. So handily, in fact, that a 2nd read of the rules and some perusings of difficulty variants may be in order. Might need to try that one again....

Update: Yeah, we should have lost when Yig awoke, as we would have been devoured, and not able to take new characters. Oops.

Thumping the Ancient one so easily must have opened up some sort of portal, because we were whisked away to the age of pirates. After a not-insignificant amount of book lernin', we embarked on 4-5 hr long careers (I think it's time to talk promotion) as Merchants & Marauders.

Captain Felipe de la Rosa (That's me!), of Havana, quietly amassed much money and glory criss-crossing the western Caribbean with fellow Merchant, Kevin's girlie Dutch captain.....and little Felipe had such grand aspirations to become a swash-buckling Pirate, too!!

Felipe and Dutchie watched with much amusement as Pat's English Chinaman (Not the proper nomenclature, I know Walter) and John's other Dutch Girlie Pirate fought an epic sea battle, resulting in the demise of Pat's captain, and the capture of his ship by John. Huzzah!!

Those handy naval ships, along with some foul weather, kept those scurvy pirates, John and Pat, at bay for a good chunk of their careers, while Felipe quietly eeked out his living and amassed enough stash and cash on board to make a quick dash for his home port of Havana, needing just one more glory point, not from stash.

Pat, (who's new captain made a remarkable recovery) the ever-opportunistic sea dog, seized the opportunity to head poor, innocent Felipe off and attack. Felipe, having previously gained the favor of the Dutch navy (How I came about this favor, I will not say..Yarrr..Yarrr....Yarrr........Yarrr (face-palm)), called a Dutch Man-o-War to fight in his stead; quickly fending off the smelly pirate. Then, stashing his last gold, Felipe de la Rosa sealed victory with a successful Merchant ship raid, finally living out his life-long dream of pirating after a lifetime of Merchanting. Rumor has it that Felipe then went on to own a string of very successful nightclubs in Havana, and lived a long, if not very fruitful life.
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Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:53 am
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Agricola: What I did on my Summer Vacation

Ken Dilloo
United States
Bothell
Washington
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So, what did we learn during our summers off, subsistence farming? Well, for one, that it is tough. Ya know, like, really, really tough. Just learning how to say Agricola can be challenging, but what in the heck is an Ooova? I mean really.

I digress; Pat learned that being that upwardly mobile farm family, who lives high on the hog, ehem, cow; and is the envy of all other farm families, with their hoity toity Maid and fancy English Counselor (Good to see you, Dave), can sometimes forget to breed and have children; oh, I mean action points. Pat did, however, quite impressively fill his entire farm space with stuff. I think I even saw some Sharper Image out there! It is also noteworthy that Mr. Gibbs ended up with more cows than the Agricola Universe has ever seen. No joke here, just, ya know....wow.

John got off to a fast start with his Hedge Keeper and built, as Billy Bob Thornton would say, "A real nice fenced-in area". From there, he quickly learned that feeding yourself is pretty important. Like one of those "criteria of life" sorta importants. Also, that when you spend all your time looking for food, you end up with a fairly barren farm, that smells like piggy poop; and that the smell of piggy poop is not very compatible with procreational recreation. He did, however, have an impressive Well, which he was quite sure I was stealing from :-)

I learned that holding onto a Fireplace is pretty much akin to rocking a Discman in a iPod world. Inefficiency? Uwe frowns. I also learned that settling for inferior technology can be overcome with a Field Manager armed with a Potato Dibbler. Who knew? I dibbled and dibbled my way to a whole mess of veggies and wheat. I also dibbled and dibbled (see what I did there?) my way to 2 mid/late game children and a solid victory with a Basket Weaver.

Kevin learned that those jerks with Potato Dibblers sometimes like to take the starting player button and literally steal bread right from their childrens' plates. No super-efficient Stone Oven is safe from....The Dibbler. Dump, duh, duh, dah. Kevin also learned that having lots of children brings him much contentment (tear) and victory points, at end game scoring; even when you have to deal with A-hole neighbors and their stupid session reports.
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Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:40 am
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Struggle of Empires: What kind of Dictator are you?

Ken Dilloo
United States
Bothell
Washington
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So the game was: What kind of imperial dictator will you be? Otherwise known as Struggle of Empires. A 5 player game.

Nacime The Jealous, the Spanish dictator, drove his people to the brink of Revolution, trying desperately to wrestle control, in Europe, from his rivals. His storm troopers multiplying at alarming rates and seeming to strike at will, ultimately failed their goal. Finding Europe a tough nut to crack.

Pat The Drunk, of Prussia, was the most eccentric of dictators. Berating his people with every half hour addresses with cryptically veiled homo-erotic rants. Sometimes wearing a squirrel costume, when not reading stories to children and raging against India with all his might, and resources (except one equally drunk garrison, of "elite" soldiers, who never left Prussia).

John The Determined, of France, fueled by deep seeded resentments of his Greek and Italian neighbors relentlessly pursued domination of the region, with some success. Deftly defending his foothold in Europe, and expanding Eastward.

Ken, The Dreadfully Sober, of Mother Russia, was so blinded by ambition and no Vodka, that he grossly misjudged the size and strength of those pesky Ottomans, investing much time into sling-shot technology, while War Offices passed him by.

Kevin The Unthreatening, of England, deftly maneuvered to world domination in both Europe and The Colonies. His plot of hiding his truly frightening military might and cunning under the veil of heaping amounts of whining and AP, paid massive dividends in this cut-throat world. His profits foretelling that one of his future countrymen, will one day design a game that won't end in his tears.
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Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:35 am
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Mob Ties: Mobtastic Goodness

Ken Dilloo
United States
Bothell
Washington
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Setting up a great theme night, started by a partial game of Lords of Vegas, that saw me gamble my way to oblivion, in Pat's casinos; we ran through our first game of Mob Ties: The Board Game. A 5 player game.

The ominous closing of the large oak door reverberates through the glass-encircled room. Tense looks around an oversized, oval table.

Don John :-D Bolcerini slams his hand down on lacquered mahogany, "But, Don Ping, be reasonable, my family has controlled the docks since the days of the Mustache Petes"!

Don Ping leans back, "Then you shall come to an understanding with Don Kelvis". With that Kelvis looks knowingly at Don Ping, up from his wristwatch. Before the meeting, he had given the order that Don Bolcerini's man at the Docks would have a midnight "Accidental" Overdose. Don Ping couldn't have timed it better if she was in on it. The feds wouldn't think twice about another junkie meeting his end on the docks. It was beautiful.

Don Dilloio, nervously checking his phone, was oblivious to this exchange. "What about Don Gibbios holdings in Vegas?" he bellowed. Still stinging from losing $13 million at Don Gibbios casinos, on a drunken Vegas bender, his plan now, to recoup some losses, was to steal the Don's new driver. "That guy might not look like Ryan Gosling, but he is worth his weight in gold", he mused to his chief lieutenant, on more than one occasion. "And the best part is that he is a connected guy, who don't ask too many questions".

As Don Gibbio started to argue in defense of his holdings, Don Dilloio waved him off, checking his phone once more, as the message came through, reading, "Don Ping's Made Man flies with the eagles. You will be the new Boss".

"What a mess", Don Dilloio mutters to himself. He knew if things went well, at the mansion, both Don Bolcerini and Don Ping's men would be gone. He knew if things went badly, Ping's made man would be a mess on the sidewalk. Don Dilloio knew he would be the boss, but his men would be dead, it was only a matter of time.

Just then two large men, with suits that didn't quite fit their muscled frames, burst into the room. Without acknowledging anyone else, one of them whispered in Don Gibbios ear, while the other shot a glance to Don Ping. With that, Ping stands, acknowledging each in turn, and glides out of the room. The war was on.

Getting into five identical, black Towncars, the Dons exit the complex hastily. Only two of them, Don Ping and Don Gibbio, were going to the same place, with their most trusted advisors. That was the only safe place to have a sit down; Gibbio's restaurant in Little Italy. Over their baked ziti and spaghetti, they discussed their own vision of how the city should be divided. Suddenly, the entire restaurant grew silent, and without their notice, all but three other patrons had quietly left. The three that remained, wore gasmasks, and a thick green smoke filled the room.

One of the masked goons looked to the other two, over the now unconscious Dons, "I thought you poisoned their spaghetti?" muffled by the mask. Over their shrugs, he continued, "Hot seats, all of them. Light up the whole block".

Across town, Don Kelvis was mulling his own version of power structure, when a policeman, a policeman who had been on his payroll for years, slipped him a note that simply said, "Get Out". Kelvis slowly stood up, whipped his lips, adjusted his suite coat, and walked out without paying his bill. He had racked up quite a tab, over the years, at this particular diner, but he and the owner had come to an "understanding".

From the top of Pickman's hill, Don Kelvis had a view of the city, his city. The half that wasn't engulfed in flames was surrounded by the Feds. His rivals would all either be dead or in jail. Those that were left would fall in line. He would be The Boss. He had the money and power to control the city. That is, at least until next session.
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Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:29 am
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