Lowell Kempf(Gnomekin)United States
“So when are we going to play this Sage of Stream thing?” my wife Hon asked me.
“Age of Steam,” I corrected her, looking over my reading glasses. “Sage of Stream is a game about giving advice to anglers and has gotten terrible reviews.”
“Whatever. How long is going to take until you’re ready to play this game?”
“Woman! I only bought it a week ago! Do you remember how long it took for me to pour over the rules of Fluxx until I was sure I knew how to play it?”
“Yes. It took you ten times as long to figure out how to play the game than it did for us to play it. And our first game took three hours, which is why I promised you we would never, ever play that damn game as long as I live.”
“And that was time well spent! How else could we have appreciated the intricacies of the rule set? How else could we have understood the depth and richness of the play?”
“Matt,” said Hon, “it was a tri-fold piece of paper that was so small that you could have lost it in your wallet. If all your game buying actually left any money in your wallet for it to be lost with.”
“Woman, you don’t understand the beauty of gaming! This is an art form! It’s not just about playing a game. It’s about understanding and appreciating the delicate work that has gone into making it.”
“Is it also about filling the walk-in closet until it’s wall to wall cardboard boxes. Not to mention the kitchen…”
“Those cupboards were wasted being used to hold things like cups and dishes.”
“My mother warned me that board games being mentioned in the pre-nup was a bad sign. So are we going to play this Steam game?”
“Perhaps in another week, after I’ve gone over the rules a few more times…”
At that, Hon rudely snatched the rules from my hand. “Hey, these rules aren’t in English!” she said.
“Er, yes. I accidentally ordered the Chinese edition.”
“Matt, this is in Korean,” Hon said tartly, showing off the fact that she had wasted her time in college by not playing Advanced Squad Leader sixteen hours a day.
“It adds charm,” I said.
Hopefully it is obvious that this is a complete work of fiction, also known as a fat pack of lies, meant in good fun. Oh, except for the fact that I really did buy the Korean version of Age of Steam