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To submit news, a designer diary, outrageous rumors, or other material, please contact BGG News editor W. Eric Martin via email – wericmartin AT gmail.com
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Lessons for Game Publishers – Practice Parallelism

W. Eric Martin
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Since BGG News kicked off in January 2011, I've been reprinting articles, previews and columns from Boardgame News. Sometimes the reprinted piece ties into current news (such as my 2007 interview with Ed Carter at Cambridge Games Factory), sometimes a reprint fills what would otherwise be a blank space, and sometimes one or more readers request something that disappeared when BGN went poof.

Today's reprint, my BGN column from February 9, 2010, is an example of the latter, thanks to Anders Tyrland, one of four brothers in the newly founded Swedish publisher Ticking Clock. Michael Mindes of Tasty Minstrel Games had linked to this column in his blog, noting that I discuss "a topic that is extremely important for rules and rules editing. If you want to publish or be published, make sure you read this and fix up your rule books." Anders pinged me when he couldn't find the column, so here it is again, for the edification of all publishers. —WEM)


In early February 2010 I played the published version of Stefan Feld's Macao for the first time, and while I found the game intriguing in the usual alea/Feld manner of not knowing how everything fits together on the first play and making somewhat random moves that may or may not pan out (see In the Year of the Dragon, Notre Dame, Rum & Pirates), the other players and I were confounded by card text that exhibited a common grammatical problem, namely non-parallelism.

Parallelism, also known as parallel construction, is the practice of words, clauses and phrases agreeing with one another when they are used in series in a sentence, e.g. "I came, I saw, I conquered." The verb in each clause is in the simple past, which allows a reader or listener to process the meaning of the sentence more easily than she would with something like "I came, I saw, I was conquering." (Let's ignore for the moment that the two sentences don't mean the same thing – I'm considering structure for now.)

We tend to overlook non-parallelism in casual speech – "I'm going shopping, taking in a movie, and will see you tonight" – but such mismatches strike the ear abruptly when encountered in more formal situations. Take this example from Macao's back cover: "Who will have the best plan and can acquire the most prestige by the end of the game?" While not incorrect, the "will have" and "can acquire" are jarring. Far better would be this sentence: "Who will have the best plan and acquire the most prestige by the end of the game?"

Wobbly sales text on the back of a box may affect whether someone purchases a game, but it won't affect the game play – unlike the non-parallelism on Macao's building and person cards, which could. Half the cards use the imperative –

Quote:
• Take 1 black AC.
• Return 1 blue AC to take 1 GC.
• Pay 1 GC to move your ship up to 4 spaces.

– while the other half use the second person pronoun "you":

Quote:
• You take 2 GC.
• You take 1 GC for each ware tile you deliver.
• You need not return the AC to activate one card, but you must have the necessary AC in your action cube supply.
• For each 3 of any AC you return to the general supply, take 1 GC.

(For those who haven't played the game, "AC" means "action cube" and "GC" means "gold coin," and yes, if you don't like cube-pushing games, you should not attempt to play Macao.)

In some cases, non-parallelism is not jarring or confusing. "Take 1 black AC" and "You take 2 GC" will be clear to anyone who speaks Eurogame – but why are they different? "Take 1 black AC" and "Take 2 GC" would be better. The advantage of parallel construction is that once readers start to read and interpret text, they can use the same "mental framework" for everything else that fits the same pattern. Adopting the imperative for every building and office card would fit the way that the cards are meant to be used during the game: I use the card and am then directed to do something, whether that something is taking action cubes, scoring points, earning extra money, or moving my ship more spaces. (Note the parallel construction – taking, scoring, earning, moving.) With a parallel construction, you don't have to pause to reinterpret a sentence that doesn't fit the expectations already presented to you by other materials within the game.

In some cases adopting the imperative would require slight changes in the card text. The second card, for example, might read, "Take 1 GC for each ware tile you delivered this turn." The third card is trickier, but could read, "Take back the AC for one card that you activated this turn." Or perhaps "Activate one card for which you have the necessary AC in your action cube supply, but keep the AC instead of discarding them."

The main problem with the non-parallelism in Macao is that players can misinterpret how cards are meant to be used, despite the note on the back page of the rulebook "that the rules are intended to be read and followed with reason and normalcy". Take the last non-imperative card described above, the Prospector: "For each 3 of any AC you return to the general supply, take 1 GC." The format of this card matches that of the second one – "You take 1 GC for each ware tile you deliver." As written, this latter card sets up a condition that can be fulfilled multiple times for the remainder of the round – deliver a ware, take 1 GC. The former card has a similar structure – return 3 AC to the general supply, take 1 GC – but the two are not meant to be equivalent.

The German cards pictured above may be parallel, but their text isn't.

We realized our error only two-thirds of the way through the game when the Noble came up. (The Noble's power: "For each 2 GC you give to the bank, take any 1 AC.") "A-ha!" we said at the same time. "The Noble clearly isn't meant to give you AC when you pay GC for prestige as that would be far too powerful, so the Prospector must work the same way – which means Joey has been inadvertently cheating since turn three. Asterisk game!" (For the record, I caught up to Joey despite his cheaty, invalid lead and won by a few points. No asterisk needed!)

How should the Prospector be written? "Return any number of AC to the general supply. For each 3 AC that you return, take 1 GC." This direction matches our expectations: Choose this card, then do this. You have one chance to take the action, with nothing spilling over into the remainder of your turn.

Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct. Yes, this goal is tough to achieve, but by doing the hard work up front, you can make everything easier for those who want to play your game.
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Walt
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Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct.
Huzzah!!!!
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:41 am
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Chris Farrell
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My suspicion in the case of Macao is that Rio Grande's translations sometimes seem to be dictionary translations from someone who wasn't a fluent English speaker, which were then never subsequently even edited by a native speaker. Sometimes when I when have had the German text available I can see where fairly clear (and parallel) German has been translated into murky English. I don't specifically recall if this was the case with Macao, but I have a vague recollection it was.

Anyway, while what you say is true, my suspicion in this case is that the fundamental problem is one of translation rather than composition.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:19 am
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Maarten Cappaert
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"Activate one card for which you have the necessary AC in your action cube supply, but keep the AC instead of discarding them."

"Return any number of AC to the general supply. For each 3 AC that you return, take 1 GC."

You just proved that being consistent isn't east since you used both 'discarding' and 'returning'... while still clear, it would be easier.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:44 am
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Colorcrayons
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Outstanding article. Thanks for bringing that back to attention.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:45 am
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Scott Everts
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This is something I have noted when working on player aids. Especially for games translated to English. I think another problem is using different keywords for the same thing. Such as "you attack" or "you battle". If both mean the same, make sure to be consistent on wording.

Another example is "gain 2 Victory Points" or "add 2 points". This could mean the same thing or not depending. Better to be consistent. Your keywords should probably be capitalized.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:42 am
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W. Eric Martin
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vekoma wrote:
"Activate one card for which you have the necessary AC in your action cube supply, but keep the AC instead of discarding them."

"Return any number of AC to the general supply. For each 3 AC that you return, take 1 GC."

You just proved that being consistent isn't east since you used both 'discarding' and 'returning'... while still clear, it would be easier.

In the sentence with "discarding", the imperative verbs are "activate" and "keep". The card tells the player Activate!, then clarifies what that player activates and a condition that player must meet when performing the activation, but the card throws in the qualifier Keep!, with the card then clarifying what the player keeps and what the player doesn't do that he normally would do.

Yes, you could write something like "...but keep the AC and don't discard them", but that phrase doesn't emphasize clearly enough that you do A instead of doing B. (Notice the "do" vs. "doing" in the previous sentence – same structure as the first sentence. This is correct. Making the sentence a command and leading off with a verb in the imperative does not mean that every verb will be in the imperative.)

I don't see "returning" in the lines you quoted above.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 1:34 pm
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Fantastic article, Eric - THANK YOU! This is something that drives me crazy (along with unnecessary typos), and often makes me wish I was a freelance editor for games.

Grammar sticklers unite!
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 1:46 pm
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Engage is my first formal release and I am getting trashed on the rules. One review said they were the worst rules he had ever read. gulp
I also have learned that you must tell people what they cannot do.
Example: Green cubes are used for moving & red cubes are used for firing. I have been asked if I can use green cubes to fire.
I guess I should have put "you can only use green cubes for moving and only use red cubes for firing"
In the game you budget what we call skill points. You can use skill points in your actions but they are not required. I have been asked "If I run out of skill points can I still take my turn" I guess here is another example where we should have put more wording. We put the rules into a bullet point format just telling people what they do step by step.
HEY WALT WILL YOU BE AT GENCON? soblue
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:42 pm
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W Eric Martin wrote:
I don't see "returning" in the lines you quoted above.

He just meant that, in the first example, moving AC from your action cube supply to the general supply is called "discarding":
Quote:
"Activate one card for which you have the necessary AC in your action cube supply, but keep the AC instead of discarding them."

But, in the second example, moving AC from your action cube supply to the general supply is called "returning":
Quote:
"Return any number of AC to the general supply. For each 3 AC that you return, take 1 GC."


It was a minor point only tangentially related to parallelism (in that it has to do with consistency in rules writing).
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:44 pm
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Table Tactics wrote:
HEY WALT WILL YOU BE AT GENCON? soblue

Me? No, sorry.

Another problem I see is a poor translation of a critical word. In The Hanging Gardens you place fountains, parks, terraces, and arcades (the four colors in the picture). They are all placed exactly the same way, so they are collectively know as "motives". I guess they were going for motif, but that still isn't a very clear word. I guess the connotations are different in German.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 5:39 pm
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Nathan Klammer
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Tall_Walt wrote:
Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct.
Huzzah!!!!


That was a quite unnecessary font size. I don't wear reading glasses, and you don't need to compensate.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:19 pm
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Good advice. Although I think it's ironic that you ignored your own parallelism advice with the final paragraph:

Quote:

Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct. Yes, this goal is tough to achieve, but by doing the hard work up front, you can make everything easier for those who want to play your game.


I think this is what you meant to say:

Rules writing is difficult - I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies. The goal of rules writing is not to make the rules invisible to players. The goal is to keep the players from having to interpret what the rules mean or decide which interpretation is correct.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 6:42 pm
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chally wrote:
He just meant that, in the first example, moving AC from your action cube supply to the general supply is called "discarding". But, in the second example, moving AC from your action cube supply to the general supply is called "returning".

It was a minor point only tangentially related to parallelism (in that it has to do with consistency in rules writing).

Ah, I see. Good point! I do try to pay attention to such things – making sure that this component is called a "token" throughout the rulebook and this other component that's similar but not the same is a "marker" – but I failed in my example.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:22 pm
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ManOfYore wrote:
Good advice. Although I think it's ironic that you ignored your own parallelism advice with the final paragraph:

Quote:

Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct. Yes, this goal is tough to achieve, but by doing the hard work up front, you can make everything easier for those who want to play your game.


I think this is what you meant to say:

Rules writing is difficult - I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies. The goal of rules writing is not to make the rules invisible to players. The goal is to keep the players from having to interpret what the rules mean or decide which interpretation is correct.

But I didn't ignore my advice as (1) my column is not a rulebook and (2) you misinterpreted what I wrote by leaving out the unstated parallel in the first sentence of that paragraph.

I didn't write, nor did I mean, what you wrote: "The goal of rules writing is not to make the rules invisible to players." That's the opposite of what I wrote. I wrote: "Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't [difficult]: You want the rules to be invisible to players." I didn't write the word "difficult" in that sentence as its presence should be clear from the parallel structure, as in this example: "That picture is pretty, but that dog isn't."
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:28 pm
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Is there a market place where game publishers seek rules editors?

I am an attorney and former newsletter and newspaper editor. I will be retiring soon and have time available. I would "would work for games" checking clarity, logic, and grammar in to-be-published rules.

There clearly is a need. Do the publishers of games that need such attention to detail ever enlist outside assistance?
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:06 pm
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bankrupt wrote:
Is there a market place where game publishers seek rules editors?

I am an attorney and former newsletter and newspaper editor. I will be retiring soon and have time available. I would "would work for games" checking clarity, logic, and grammar in to-be-published rules.

There clearly is a need. Do the publishers of games that need such attention to detail ever enlist outside assistance?


Victory Point Games does. I did some mostly gratis work for them for a while. I've recently become too busy to help them out, so I asked to be removed from their proofreader list. No idea what other publishers do.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:29 pm
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Table Tactics wrote:
Engage is my first formal release and I am getting trashed on the rules. One review said they were the worst rules he had ever read. gulp


Don't worry. Someone told me that about my rules for Rails of New England were the worst rules he'd ever read. So it seems like everybody gets that. :-)
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  • Posted Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:15 pm
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cfarrell wrote:
My suspicion in the case of Macao is that Rio Grande's translations sometimes seem to be dictionary translations from someone who wasn't a fluent English speaker, which were then never subsequently even edited by a native speaker. Sometimes when I when have had the German text available I can see where fairly clear (and parallel) German has been translated into murky English. I don't specifically recall if this was the case with Macao, but I have a vague recollection it was.

Anyway, while what you say is true, my suspicion in this case is that the fundamental problem is one of translation rather than composition.



I've pretty much known this to be true ever since the publication of San Juan: 'the card game for the highly-acclaimed Puerto Rico' (emphasis added). Oh, so I guess I need Puerto Rico in order to play San Juan, right....?

Oh well; usually you can puzzle it out, but they do seem to make it harder from time to time (not just RGG, of course).
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:35 am
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Table Tactics wrote:
Engage is my first formal release and I am getting trashed on the rules. One review said they were the worst rules he had ever read. gulp
I also have learned that you must tell people what they cannot do.
Example: Green cubes are used for moving & red cubes are used for firing. I have been asked if I can use green cubes to fire.
I guess I should have put "you can only use green cubes for moving and only use red cubes for firing"
In the game you budget what we call skill points. You can use skill points in your actions but they are not required. I have been asked "If I run out of skill points can I still take my turn" I guess here is another example where we should have put more wording. We put the rules into a bullet point format just telling people what they do step by step.
HEY WALT WILL YOU BE AT GENCON? soblue


I'm not sure how often this is done, but it seems to me "rules playtesting" is an obvious pre-publication step that should be taken.
What I mean by that is find someone who has *never* played the game and doesn't know anything about it. Give them the rules to learn the game and then have them teach it to their game group who also has never played the game. Do this with several groups. I'm sure most rules issues will be revealed either during the learning or initial play session.

On the other hand, even if this is done, rules are edited up until the last minute so there could still be vital stuff accidentally left out etc, but at least "rules playtesting" would minimize this.

For example, I tried to learn Dungeon Twister with the Dungeon Twister 2: Prison rules. There were some really critical things missing or ambiguous. But I'm guessing everyone they showed the rules to already knew the game, so they didn't catch the things someone fresh to the game would've seen and asked about.

Also, as far as the "parallelism" thing goes, another example is Dominant Species. Although most of the rules are clear and concise, the dominance card clarifications in the rulebook do not exhibit parallelism: some say "you," some say "the player choosing this card," some say the "dominant" player, all of which are equivalent (although without another important clause in the rulebook, the "dominant" one could be interpreted differently). Which leads to regular questions on these in the rules forum.
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  • Edited Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:48 am
  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:34 am
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There are many subte-but-cruical gramatical concepts which can make the difference between good rules, and awful rules. Every rules writer -- and editor -- should be required to read George Gopen's excellent book: "Expectations: Teaching Writing From the Reader's Perspective". He deals with the sorts of problems discussed in this article by examining readers' "expectations" about sentence structure, and showing how to use those expectations to your advantage.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:40 am
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This is one reason game companies should hire rules writers to write the rules!
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:58 am
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W Eric Martin wrote:


I didn't write, nor did I mean, what you wrote: "The goal of rules writing is not to make the rules invisible to players." That's the opposite of what I wrote. I wrote: "Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't [difficult]: You want the rules to be invisible to players." I didn't write the word "difficult" in that sentence as its presence should be clear from the parallel structure, as in this example: "That picture is pretty, but that dog isn't."


Sorry for the misinterpretation, I guess the grammar structure in your last paragraph was confusing. It really seems like you are saying that the goal of rules writing isn't "You want the rules to be invisible to players". By inserting the "I know I've edited..." fragment you broke the structure of your comparison. That was further hampered by using a colon as punctuation instead of a period and capitalizing "You".

Again - I find it ironic that an article about writing clear rules was not written as clearly as possible.


 
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:48 am
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Rick
If you want to practice, shot on over to www.engageboardgame.com and check out the worst rules ever read.

bankrupt wrote:
Is there a market place where game publishers seek rules editors?

I am an attorney and former newsletter and newspaper editor. I will be retiring soon and have time available. I would "would work for games" checking clarity, logic, and grammar in to-be-published rules.

There clearly is a need. Do the publishers of games that need such attention to detail ever enlist outside assistance?
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:55 am
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ManOfYore wrote:
Sorry for the misinterpretation, I guess the grammar structure in your last paragraph was confusing. It really seems like you are saying that the goal of rules writing isn't "You want the rules to be invisible to players". By inserting the "I know I've edited..." fragment you broke the structure of your comparison. That was further hampered by using a colon as punctuation instead of a period and capitalizing "You".

Again - I find it ironic that an article about writing clear rules was not written as clearly as possible.

Again, my column is not a rulebook, so I'm free to use more complicated sentence structures than I would when writing/editing rules.

And my use of the colon was in line with how colons are intended to be used. Here's a bit from Wikipedia on one use of the colon:

Quote:
Appositive

The colon introduces an appositive independent clause. In other words, the sentence after the colon is in apposition to the one before the colon.

-----Luruns could not speak: He was drunk.

And:

Quote:
Use of capitals

Use of capitalization or lower-case after a colon varies. In British English, the word following the colon is in lower case unless it is a proper noun or an acronym, or if it is normally capitalized for some other reason. However, in American English, many writers capitalize the word following a colon if it begins an independent clause (i.e. complete sentence). This follows the guidelines of some modern American style guides, including those published by the Associated Press and the Modern Language Association.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:59 am
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Colorcrayons
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disclamer wrote:
This is one reason game companies should hire rules writers to write the rules!


Amen.

A single, competent technical rules writer is worth 50 hack proofreaders.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:07 am
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Pieter
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FFG should take note of this article. There wouldn't be a need for dozens of pages of errata for each of their games if they would give the rules more thought.

I think a course in scientific writing would help here. In science, you are required to write in such a way that there is no ambiguity. The only downside to that is that it usually makes for rather boring texts. But the texts are usually concise too.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:50 am
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Tim Seitz
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cfarrell wrote:
My suspicion in the case of Macao is that Rio Grande's translations sometimes seem to be dictionary translations from someone who wasn't a fluent English speaker, which were then never subsequently even edited by a native speaker. Sometimes when I when have had the German text available I can see where fairly clear (and parallel) German has been translated into murky English. I don't specifically recall if this was the case with Macao, but I have a vague recollection it was.

Anyway, while what you say is true, my suspicion in this case is that the fundamental problem is one of translation rather than composition.

Just goes to show that being a good translator requires good writing skills.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:15 pm
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W. Eric Martin
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bankrupt wrote:
Is there a market place where game publishers seek rules editors?

I am an attorney and former newsletter and newspaper editor. I will be retiring soon and have time available. I would "would work for games" checking clarity, logic, and grammar in to-be-published rules.

There clearly is a need. Do the publishers of games that need such attention to detail ever enlist outside assistance?

Sometimes they do, but mostly they go their own way. I've approached publishers about editing their rules, and I've been approached. However, I work only for pay, not games, as writing is my job and if I edit rules, then I can't do something else.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:49 pm
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Table Tactics wrote:

If you want to practice, shot on over to www.engageboardgame.com and check out the worst rules ever read.


If BGG held a "Worst rules ever" contest, Engage could be in the running. The first paragraph, a narrative exposition of the theme and context, contains over a dozen errors. I did not check for historical inaccuracies.

Your mention in this particular thread of a game you published yourself is, in the context of that game, a bit like calling in friendly fire on your own position.

W Eric Martin wrote:
[W]riting is my job and if I edit rules, then I can't do something else.


Exactly why I am offering to edit game rules after I retire from running my law office. I enjoy editing so much [13 newsletters so far. Some for pay. Some not.] that it would be a pleasurable hobby for my "golden" years.

[Edited twice to correct grammar errors. Everyone makes these, no matter how "tight" they set their spelling and grammar checker. Forty two years of proofreading my own court pleadings, newspapers, and newsletters long ago convinced me that there is no substitute for multiple, critical re-readings AND at least one more pair of eyes.]
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  • Edited Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:45 pm
  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:41 pm
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I did call in fire on my own position. The game plays great and when you sit down and show someone how to play it is easy to learn. That being said we knew the rules were our weak suit. Why lie?
A company has expressed interest in taking the game digital. That would be a great place for someone to learn.
We do have future products planned and want to secure a better process for our rules.
I'm a toolmaker and design engineer and great with numbers but I'm sure you see many problems with my writing.yuk

bankrupt wrote:
Table Tactics wrote:

If you want to practice, shot on over to www.engageboardgame.com and check out the worst rules ever read.


If BGG held a "Worst rules ever" contest, Engage could be in the running. The first paragraph, a narrative exposition of the theme and context, contains over a dozen errors. I did not check for historical inaccuracies.

Your mention in this particular thread of a game you published yourself is, in the context of that game, a bit like calling in friendly fire on your own position.

W Eric Martin wrote:
[W]riting is my job and if I edit rules, then I can't do something else.


Exactly why I am offering to edit game rules after I retire from running my law office. I enjoy editing so much [13 newsletters so far. Some for pay. Some not.] that it would be a pleasurable hobby for my "golden" years.

[Edited twice to correct grammar errors. Everyone makes these, no matter how "tight" they set their spelling and grammar checker. Forty two years of proofreading my own court pleadings, newspapers, and newsletters long ago convinced me that there is no substitute for multiple, critical re-readings AND at least one more pair of eyes.]
 
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:06 pm
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Quote:

Again, my column is not a rulebook, so I'm free to use more complicated sentence structures than I would when writing/editing rules.


If someone misreads a rulebook it is the author's fault, but if someone
misreads a column it is not the author's fault? If you are purposefully writing complicated sentences then you have a ways to go as a writer.

Anyway, I think the main point of your article was good.
 
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:40 pm
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W. Eric Martin
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ManOfYore wrote:
W Eric Martin wrote:

Again, my column is not a rulebook, so I'm free to use more complicated sentence structures than I would when writing/editing rules.

If someone misreads a rulebook it is the author's fault, but if someone
misreads a column it is not the author's fault? If you are purposefully writing complicated sentences then you have a ways to go as a writer.

A rulebook author's job is to facilitate understanding, but people misread rulebooks all the time through no fault of the author. Similarly, people misread columns.
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  • Posted Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:01 pm
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bankrupt wrote:
Is there a market place where game publishers seek rules editors?

I am an attorney and former newsletter and newspaper editor. I will be retiring soon and have time available. I would "would work for games" checking clarity, logic, and grammar in to-be-published rules.

There clearly is a need. Do the publishers of games that need such attention to detail ever enlist outside assistance?


Don't expect to get paid, even in games, even if you have an agreement. No matter how much a copy editor is needed, they are not valued much.

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  • Posted Mon Aug 1, 2011 4:55 am
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Georg von Lemberg
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elrohirthehasty wrote:
Tall_Walt wrote:
Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players. The players should not have to interpret what a rule means or decide which interpretation is correct.
Huzzah!!!!


That was a quite unnecessary font size. I don't wear reading glasses, and you don't need to compensate.


Tall_Walt, appologize to egohurtsmenasty for your egregious use of an obscenely large font size. And then chastize him in turn for quoting it at the large size instead of sizing it down.
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  • Posted Tue Aug 2, 2011 12:11 am
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Clint Herron
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Absolutely fantastic article. Thanks!!!
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  • Posted Tue Aug 2, 2011 9:15 pm
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Eric Martin
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Yes, great article, Eric.

Unfortunately, I went out and bought the game anyways. And then I gave up trying to play it and gave it away. Underneath it all is a great game struggling to get out but the issues you mentioned, combined all the tiny little little cards filled with writing, made this near unplayable for me.
 
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  • Posted Wed Aug 3, 2011 1:57 am
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W. Eric Martin
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e9martin wrote:
Yes, great article, Eric.

Unfortunately, I went out and bought the game anyways. And then I gave up trying to play it and gave it away. Underneath it all is a great game struggling to get out but the issues you mentioned, combined all the tiny little little cards filled with writing, made this near unplayable for me.

Pity. I do love Macao as it hits the "high strategy plus a heaping helping of luck" sweet spot on my gaming scale. The niggles from the cards and rules were annoying, but not enough to destroy my efforts to play the game.

As I stated above, you want that stuff to be invisible. You don't want people to question whether they're playing correctly. (Question whether they're playing well, sure, but not correctly.) From one math guy to another, I can imagine your frustration. You want beautiful formulas!
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  • Posted Wed Aug 3, 2011 4:07 am
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Ethan McKinney
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Here's where the confusion arises: if the sentence did not contain the parenthetical phrase*, there would be a comma between "difficult" and "but."

Quote:
Rules writing is difficult, but the goal of rules writing isn't: You want the rules to be invisible to players.


To me, at least, that's easier to understand.

Now, it the sentence read:

Quote:
Rules writing is difficult, but the goal of rules writing isn't: "You want the rules to be invisible to players."


that would be completely different.

Another interesting variation is to remove any semblance of parallelism, using a linear structure:

Quote:
Rules writing is difficult because you want the rules to be invisible to players.


Of course, that loses the explicit concept of a simple goal.

ManOfYore wrote:
W Eric Martin wrote:


I didn't write, nor did I mean, what you wrote: "The goal of rules writing is not to make the rules invisible to players." That's the opposite of what I wrote. I wrote: "Rules writing is difficult – I know as I've edited rules for a number of companies – but the goal of rules writing isn't [difficult]: You want the rules to be invisible to players." I didn't write the word "difficult" in that sentence as its presence should be clear from the parallel structure, as in this example: "That picture is pretty, but that dog isn't."


Sorry for the misinterpretation, I guess the grammar structure in your last paragraph was confusing. It really seems like you are saying that the goal of rules writing isn't "You want the rules to be invisible to players". By inserting the "I know I've edited..." fragment you broke the structure of your comparison. That was further hampered by using a colon as punctuation instead of a period and capitalizing "You".

Again - I find it ironic that an article about writing clear rules was not written as clearly as possible.


 
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  • Posted Wed Aug 3, 2011 11:42 pm
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Mik Svellov
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cfarrell wrote:
My suspicion in the case of Macao is that Rio Grande's translations sometimes seem to be dictionary translations from someone who wasn't a fluent English speaker, which were then never subsequently even edited by a native speaker. Sometimes when I when have had the German text available I can see where fairly clear (and parallel) German has been translated into murky English. I don't specifically recall if this was the case with Macao, but I have a vague recollection it was.
It wasn't.
 
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