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Why I am who I am
Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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Every day at work my co-workers ask me to share a story with them. For some reason they think my life has been interesting and they enjoy hearing about it. Every day they ask I tell them a different story from my life that they have not heard. Today at work I thought that this would make a pretty good Geeklist of the things in my life that have made me who I am today.
Before we get into the stories here is some basic info about me:
My name is Chad. I am 34 years old. I live alone in my one bedroom apartment with my two cats (Stinky and Smelly). I work at Citibank in the collections department. I am a pretty happy person, a little strange and eccentric, very calm, and I like to smile. I do not lie. I am obsessed with Batman, zombies, and board games! I do yoga every day. I like to walk through parks and cemeteries. Squirrels are my favorite animals. And I think most everything else will get covered in these stories.
If you have any questions feel free to ask; I am not shy about answering anything and wont lie to you.
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Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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As a child I grew up in a very poor family. We would move a few times a year because my parents could not afford the rent. Many times I was woken up early in the morning because the sheriff was knocking on the door telling us we were evicted and we had only a couple hours to get everything out of the apartment or house.
There were many times on birthdays and Christmas that my brothers and I received nothing. It is pretty sad being a child and hearing from your Mom that Santa can't visit that year for whatever reason.
The worst time was when we were living in a trailer park and the trailer we lived in caught on fire on Christmas night. After that we were homeless for a while and I did not like Christmas for many years. While we were homeless one brother was old enough and moved in with a girlfriend, my other brother stayed with a friend, I'm not sure where Dad stayed, and Mom and I went every night to where ever we could sleep.
One of these homeless nights we went to stay with my Mom's mom. My Mom slept on the couch and I slept on the floor. The next day I overhead my Mom asking her mom if we could stay there for a couple weeks until we found a place to live and her mom told her no because she did not have enough room for us. Less than two months after that my Mom's mom let my uncle, aunt, and their three kids all move in and they have been there since for the last 20 years! I was so mad after that that I never again spoke to my Mom's mom, when I talked about her I only addressed her by her first name because I did not believe she deserved the respect of being called the "G" word that someone calls their Mom's mom.
Because we were always moving then I was always going to new schools. I never had many friends, became introverted, was very shy, and a huge loner. Because I was so shy I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 22 years old.
I was determind that when I was old enough I was going to get as far away as I could and make a better life for myself!
I swore to myself that if I ever had a family that they would not go through the same stuff I went through.
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Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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Before I graudated high school I thought my best chance of getting away was to join the military. After comparing the different branches the Air Force seemed like the best fit for me and I signed up to leave while I was still in high school. Three weeks after graduating I shipped off to Basic Training.
Most of my time in the military was spent in North Dakota guarding nuclear missles. Guarding nuclear missles in North Dakota is a very boring job! It is winter literally 9 months out of the year. I saw it snow on the 4th of July and the worst blizzard I ever saw in my life was on June 14th (two feet of snow in one day!). I had the chance to miss most of one winter by going to Saudi Arabia and I was all over it!
One winter from mid October thru mid March I was in Saudi Arabia! It was very hot but definitely beat being in a North Dakota winter. In Saudi Arabia my job was to search all vehicles that came onto the base to make sure they weren't bringing on bombs trying to blow us up. This was a pretty exciting job and at least once a day I was running for my life from a suspected car bomb! But of course the fun of Saudi Arabia couldn't last forever and I had to go back to my base in North Dakota.
A few months after being back in North Dakota I started some serious sleeping problems. I could not sleep at night, when I did sleep I was having constant nightmares, and I was, also, sleep walking and acting out my dreams in my sleep. While I was awake I would be hallucinating and seeing things. I saw a lot of different doctors and they all diagnosed me with something different but none of the meds they gave me worked. The doctors were completely lost about my condition, could not find any meds to help me, and could only say my case was very unique and they did not know what to call it. When my 4 years of service were over I was not allowed to reenlist because of my sleeping problems and was given an honorable discharge.
Not knowing what else to do, and realizing that Kentucky wasn't as such bad of a place to live as I though as a teenager (live in North Dakota and you will think anywhere else is a good place to live) I moved back to Kentucky. I started going to the Veteran's Hospital and after about a year was classified as a disabled veteran. Yes, my sleeping disorder is so extreme that I am considered disabled because of it.
I have not had a normal dream in over 14 years; always constant nightmares. I randomly wake up in different places around my apartment or in the hallway. A few times I have woken up under my bed and the funniest one was when I woke up inbetween my box springs and mattress. I have thrown, and broken, many lamps and alarm clocks in my sleep. Often times I wake up in the middle of the night and see people, or monsters, in my room trying to kill me. And I have even attacked girlfriends in my sleep. I warn every girlfriend before they sleep over at my place about my condition and they always say they can deal with it. But the first time you actually punch someone in your sleep they get mad at you even though you warned them!
The sleeping problem is just part of my life that I have learned I have to accept. No matter how tired I am, no matter how sick I get from not sleeping, no matter how much I am hallucinating, no matter how bad my head hurts from not sleeping, or whatever else my body decides to do from not sleeping (I have ended up in the hospital many times because of it) life must go on!
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3.
Board Game: Circus
[Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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I am out of the military and what do I do now? Well, I decided to seperate myself as far as I could and I started to train myself as a circus sideshow performer! I pierced about every part of my body imaginable, dyed my hair blue, and started to learn every stupid stunt I could! Oh, I forgot, I split my tongue, too! My tongue looks like a snakes tongue!
I learned to sword swallow, fire eat, lay on beds of nails, pound nails up my nose, put my face in glass and let people stand on my head, eat bugs, escape from about anything rope/chains/straight jacket/, learned to juggle, make balloon animals, added in some magic I knew from when I was a kid, and any other stupid stunt you can probably imagine! Oh, and also, I hold the world record for lifting weights with a penis piercing!
After lots of practice and learning how to do this I started performing at local bars and street festivals. People would see me there and hire me for private parties or they would take a business card and hire me for some other function. I got into renaissance festivals and word just kept spreading so people around the country would hire me to come and perform for all sorts of different venues.
What's funny is when I started performing I was still shy and introverted. I remember the exact moment that changed me to being more forward and extroverted. I was working at a bar and some girl came up to talk to me. She said she was a stripper and she fit the bill of a stereotypical stripper; she was pretty hot, with bleached blonde hair, and big fake boobs. She asked me what time I got off work and if I wanted to do something. I thought she was teasing me but I told her I didn't get off until 4 AM and she said ok that we would do something. Then she went on her way and I didn't see her the rest of the night. 4 AM comes and I pack up my stuff not thinking anything about the girl. I walk out of the bar and there she is sitting in her car waiting for me! I could not believe it! I realized at that moment that when girls talked to me they weren't just teasing me and they were really interested! I was no longer shy infront of people again or scared to talk to girls.
I continued performing for a few years, travelling the country, meeting lots of people, having lots of girlfriends, and having a fun time! Then on my travels something happened. While in Texas I stayed with the most famous sideshow entertainers in the world. These people had a VERY poor living. They lived with other people and lived in their lofts. They had no possesions of their own and couldn't even always afford to eat. After seeing that this was the best that I had to look forward to I decided that I was coming back to Kentucky and I was enrolling in college!
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Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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I am back home and enrolled in college. During my college time I continued to work as a sideshow entertainer and, also, worked as a body piercer, bartender, and at Wal-Mart.
When I started college I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. I heard that Political Science was the best track for being a laywer so that was what I chose to major in. My first semester I took a Philosophy class and fell in love and ended up doing a double major Political Science/Philosophy.
It was during this time that I learned what Buddhism is. I had a professor that was a Zen Buddhist and I took every class of his that I could and would talk to him in his office every day. I learned that throughout my whole life with the way I thought, acted, loved, compassion, everything I had done was always Buddhism just that I never had the word for it. It was good to finally know what it was and be able to talk to other people who had similar beliefs.
I loved college! I was a natural at it. I loved it so much I didn't take a break at all. I went all year round. I went in the summer. I took spring break classes. I took Christmas break classes. I took classes anytime I could take them. I was on track to graduate with a double major and a 3.5 GPA in 2.5 years! Then of course things went wrong.
With two semesters left I was driving home from school. I stopped at a three way stop and then went to make a left turn. Well, the person coming from the other side decided he wanted to speed and not stop at his stop sign. He plowed right into my drivers side door T-boning me. After that I was in so much pain I had to take two semester off of school! I had not taken anything longer than a three day weekend off of school my whole time and now I had to take two semesters off because of someone else's stupid mistake! During this time I had rib pain, back pain, neck pain, severe headaches, and I had amnesia that would come and go.
Finally my health got better and I was able to return to school. When I did make it back to school I just no longer had the same drive. Something happened and I no longer wanted to be a lawyer. I frequently missed days of school. However, I was still able to finish my last two semesters and finish with a 3.5 GPA.
Now I am graduated, what do I do? I wasn't sure what to do so I just stayed with Wal-Mart until I figured out what I wanted. Wal-Mart decided to promote me and gave me a job travelling the country setting up new stores and remodeling old ones. This job paid a lot of money but I absolutely hated it! During my travels my sleeping disorder got severly bad and I got more sick than I have ever been in my life. I quit my Wal-Mart job and was sick for the next two years!
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5.
Board Game: In Love
[Average Rating:6.22 Unranked]
Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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For this one I have to go back early into my college time. This might be the thing that has effected me most in my life and the way I think.
I had a girlfriend named Megan. I was dating her for about 6 months. She was married before and seperated from her husband and they were living in different places. She was so amazing to be around! She loved the idea that I was in college and was very supportive of it. No matter what crazy idea I told her that I wanted to do in the future she would always encourage me saying "you can do it". Every chance I had I spent with her.
At Halloween that year she found out that I had never carved a jack-o-lantern before. I went over to her place a couple days before Halloween and there on her floor were two pumpkins waiting for us to carve. It was such a funny moment.
The night before Halloween I had a show to do at a bar. Megan and her best friend showed up to surprise me and they were dressed up as conjoined twins; it was pretty funny to see. I do the show, spend the rest of the night with them, and then they have to leave and I kiss Megan goodnight.
The next day I get a call from her bestfriend that Megan is dead. A couple hours after they leave me, and Megan is dropped off at home, her exhusband comes to Megan's house and shoots her and kills her. He then turns the gun on himself and commits suicide. Nobody knows why he did it. He did not tell anyone or leave any note. Everybody who knows Megan blames themself for it happening thinking it is their fault. Megan's Mom knew about me and her and I are now pretty close. It is now over six years later and I honestly believe that if Megan hadn't died that her and I would be married today.
I hate Halloween! Halloween brings up too many bad memories for me and I do not like that time of the year. I refuse to ever carve another jack-o-lantern; I have only carved one in my life and that was with Megan and I will never do it again. But every year on the anniversary of Megan's death I buy some sort of little ceramic/plastic jack-o-lantern and leave it on her grave.
This has taught me a lot about love. If you love someone then every chance you get tell them that you love them. People take those that they love for granted and just assume that they will be there tomorrow. Bad things happen in life, even to good people, never miss a chance to show someone how much you love them!
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Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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About four years ago my life was changed, again. My commitment, and love, to my family was put to an ultimate test.
For about a year things had been very bad between my Mom and Dad. My Dad would every weekend say he was going to the local casino and that he would come back in a couple days. Some how he was able to afford this even though he didn't have a job and my Mom never questioned it. At other times he would say he was going out somewhere and not come back for days again. Mom for some reason always accepted this. I knew something was going on, Stevie Wonder could see something was going on, but I just had no proof.
One night I was at home and Dad finally made a stupid mistake. I was upstairs and he was down stairs talking on the phone loud enough for me to hear. Maybe this wasn't right of me but I started hearing what he was saying so I started to pay more attention. He was talking to another woman on the phone. He told her that he was going to move in with her as soon as his wife divorced him. Then he continued talking to this woman about how much he cared for her. I let it be that night because Mom was going to be home soon but I decided the next day I was going to confront him.
The next day Mom was at work again and I waited for Dad to come home. I told him to sit down and I asked him who he was talking to last night. He tried to tell me a lie that it was just some friend and then I told him I overheard the whole thing. He finally admitted to cheating on Mom and I told him he had to tell Mom or I would. I, also, gave him another option that he could move out of the house and move in with the other woman since he told her he was waiting for Mom to divorce him and that if he chose this option then I would never tell Mom he was cheating on her. This could have really been an option because things between Mom and Dad were not good for years. But he refused to tell Mom and he refused to move out so I had no option left. He said that if I told Mom that he was never going to talk to me again. Then he yelled at me, cussed at me, threatened me, threatened my brothers, threatened himself, said he would just deny everything, and continued yelling.
My Mom is the sweetest lady I know and she deserved much better in life than all the troubles she had. I thought she deserved to know the truth and me and one of my brothers met her after work to tell her. She did not seemed shocked by the news and she said she was going to move out and leave Dad but she never did.
My Dad and I were never close, he would have never been in the running for Dad of the year, but now our relationship is non-existant. It has totally ruinded our family because Dad does not want to see me and one of my brothers so we no longer have any family gatherings like Christmas or Thanksgiving. It was his choice that he never wanted to talk to me again so until he decides to change his mind I am going to honor his wish. I do, however, meet Mom once a week for lunch. We talk about whatever is going on in our lives. She had never once mentioned about Dad cheating on her or anything about their relationship and I decided no to pry into it.
This is another factor in my life that has major effected how I view love and relationships. Megan dying was huge for me and Dad cheating on Mom just reaffirmed everything I believe in. I swore that if I ever found someone to love that I would always be %100 committed to them forever!
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Chad Clos
United States
Erlanger
Kentucky
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Last on my list is my India trip! I have been wanting to go for years and I finally made this trip last September. Maybe you are wondering why a trip to India is on my list? Was it that moving for me and changed me that much as a person in one trip? Well, I really didn't go just for the sight seeing. It is a secret I have been keeping since I got back!
I had been talking to a girl online from India for the last two years; her name is Janvi. During those two years we chatted online and on cam. We started to like each other, then like each a lot, then love each other, then love each other a lot, then talking about marriage. After two years I decided it was time to go see her!
I get to India and all the feelings we had online for each other were the same in person. We toured around where she lived for a few days and did some sight seeing. Then we went to meet her parents and they absolutely loved me! Janvi is super shy and she had not talked any about marriage since I arrived in India so that night I asked her if she still liked me now that I was in India and if she still wanted to marry me and she said yes.
The next day we go back over to her parents house and tell her Mom that we are getting married and her Mom is very happy. Her Mom tells us, though, that we have to get married in the next three days because how the Indian holidays are coming up that if we get married after the next three days it would be bad luck because of the holiday. That night her Mom gives us a ceremony in her house, infront of their shrine, and we are then married in the eyes of God but she still wanted to have a real wedding, too. For the next three days we try to get married and each day something happens where the priest can not make it. Finally on the last day of good luck to get married the priest can make it and we scramble to get to the temple.
It was a small wedding with Janvi, me, her Mom and Dad, her brother and her niece. Janvi looked stunning in her traditional Indian wedding dress! Her brother somehow found me brown type suit that I wore during the wedding. The priest only spoke Hindi so I did not understand a word of what was going on. When the priest needed me to go somewhere he pointed. If I had to recite something then Janvi told me what to say. A Hindu wedding is a lot different than an American wedding! I remember I held a coconut, had something that looks like a Hawaiin leis put around my neck, the priest drew a swastika on my hand, I touch my mother in laws/father in laws/ and the priests feet, and I walked around a fire seven times. I wasn't sure at the exact moment I got married because there is no "I do" and kiss the bride moment, but at the end I asked Janvi "are we married now" and she said yes.
Now I am back in America and Janvi is in India and we are trying to do the paperwork to get her here. My lawyer is working on it and it is a two part process. He said the first part it has to go to Homeland Security and they have to look over everything and approve it and that could take up to six months. After that it has to go to the American Embassy in India and they have to look over everything and approve it and that could take up to six months, too. Hopefully by this winter Janvi is here in America. The winter would be a hilarious time for her to arrive because she has never seen snow before in her life and 60 degrees is cold to her!
I would love to go and stay in India with Janvi until all the paperwork is done but we can not afford it. I need to stay here and work to afford to pay my lawyer and to have money so that when she comes to America we actually have a place to live and I can take care of us.
We talk on the phone every night and usually on cam, too. Janvi sends me gifts from India and I send her and her family gifts from America. Her niece did not like me at first because I was taking her aunt away from her but her niece has kind of an understanding of America and likes silly American stuff and chocolate so I have mostly bought her nieces love with stuff I send to her (she really loves any silly emo kid stuff and Hostess Ho Ho's).
Now I finally get the chance to see if I can be the husband that I have always sworn I would be and if I can avoid the making the same mistakes that I had to endure when growing up.
Oh, I forgot a very funny part of this story. When I got back home I told my brothers I had gotten married, they did not know I was going to India to see a girl or get married. However, I have not told my Mom, yet! I am not going to tell my Mom until Janvi comes to the USA. My plan is to go out to dinner with my Mom and have Janvi with me. Introduce Janvi as a girl I met in India then talk thoughout all of dinner. Then at the end ask what my Mom thinks of Janvi and hope that she says something postive(she will). Then I will say that I am glad to hear that beause Janvi is my wife and she is here to stay. I am sure that my Mom will love Janvi and treat her like a daughter.
(Sorry I didn't tell anyone I got married. I was thinking about making everyone wait until Janvi came here later this year but I changed my mind and thought this was a good time to tell. Also, I don't think any of you will tell my Mom.)
Edit: If anyone would like to know more about my trip to India I made a Geeklist, on Xmas, last year about it. My trip to India
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I'm a country girl at heart. My (ex due to divorce but I still love them) Uncle Terry and Aunt Janice live in Erlanger! I used to live in Bellevue, but I am so glad to be back home. If she ends up enjoying thrift stores, let me know, I still know many of the best in that area. 
