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Episode #12167, wherein Joe ignores his mother's good advice and decides to say something anyway (a.k.a. my 25 least favorite games)
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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OK, as a bookend to http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist.php3?action=view&listi..., I'll go ahead and list my 25 least favorite games.

To be clear upfront:

While I don't care for these games, and now chose not to play them, this does not imply that (using the rating guidelines here) I consider them to defy description of a game, or that I consider them broken. I merely find them to be highly annoying, and games I will actively avoid - to the extent of playing nothing rather than any of these.

But most of these games have hundreds, thousands, or even millions of fans. Please don't take my word as to their quality; try them for yourself. You might well actually enjoy them. After all, it's already been established that I'm barmy...
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1. Board Game: Snorta! [Average Rating:6.14 Overall Rank:2310]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#25: Snorta! - I have nothing against silliness, and nothing against memory games. But playing this I quickly wished I wasn't; thankfully the game makes it very easy for a player to pretend like they are still playing while actually engaged in navel contemplation. The game might be improved by the addition of a rabid weasel.
 
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2. Board Game: Hedgehog's Revenge [Average Rating:2.78 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#24: Hedgehog's Revenge - Imagine a roll-and-move game, with event cards added in to spice up the fun. Some of which cause you to lose turns. Some of which make you wish you had lost a turn, since instead you've expected to sing. The game might be improved by the addition of a real steamroller operated by a hedgehog, as depicted on the cover.
 
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3. Board Game: Mr. President USA [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#23: Mr. President USA - _not_ the least enjoyable election game around (it's coming up soon, I promise), but a strikely bad one nonetheless, as a very, very simple trick taking game is played to win states; apparently, the key to winning elections is being dealt a good hand. Well, maybe it is... The game might be improved by impeachment.
 
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4. Board Game: Nur Peanuts! [Average Rating:6.09 Overall Rank:4411]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#22: Nur Peanuts - You know, it takes a special game to make me desperate to leave the game before it's done; Nur Peanuts was such a game. The game might be improved by adding player elimination.
 
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5. Board Game: Election USA [Average Rating:5.02 Overall Rank:9914]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#21: Election USA - While by no means am I the biggest fan of Martin Wallace's games, they generally have quite a bit to offer. I'm not sure, then, what happened here; the interesting decisions, careful theming, and deep gameplay that typically characterize Wallace's games are missing, and in their place is - well, not much of anything. You take turns, and keep hoping the game will end. The game might be improved by including rules to allow individual states their own arsenals of nuclear weapons.
 
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6. Board Game: Hexagony [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:7785]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#20: Bin'Fa - I quite enjoyed gaming with the group I played Bin'Fa with - which was a good thing, since I didn't care for the game. A fine example of what I don't like in abstracts. The game might be improved by adding a theme - maybe such as hedgehogs taking revenge against people...
 
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7. Board Game: Unpublished Prototype [Average Rating:7.02 Overall Rank:1552]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#19: Unpublished Prototype - There are only two unpublished prototypes among the many I've played that rank this low for me, but the one that ranks lower isn't mine, so I'll just say - this was my first attempt at game design as an adult, and was playable to conclusion. It was really, really, really, really awful, but other than that it was just rotten. The game was improved by hiding it away never to be played again.
 
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8. Board Game: Age of Renaissance [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:569]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#18: Age of Renaissance - This is the only game on this list I've played three times in the past decade; I wanted to like it, but found that what promise I saw appearing further and further away the more we played. The game might be improved by playing Civilization instead.
 
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9. Board Game: Medieval [Average Rating:6.09 Overall Rank:3893]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#17: Medieval - For the first half hour playing this, I had some hope for it - not that it was great, but there seemed to be something to it. Then the next half hour went by, and boredom kicked in. Then another half hour, and I was ready to stop. Another half hour, and I was ready to let someone else win just to be done with it. 90 minutes later, when it finally ended, I knew that I need never play it again; I'm amazed at some of the positive ratings it's received here from wargamers, since there seem to me to be so many other wargames that are so much better. The game might be improved by setting a victory condition achievable in some reasonable time period; 20 minutes, perhaps.
 
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10. Board Game: Phase 10 [Average Rating:5.13 Overall Rank:10989]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#16: Phase 10 - Very similar to Medieval in lasting far longer than it should, but rates below it for lacking an interesting theme. The game might be improved by using the cards to create your own game.
 
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11. Board Game: Zendo [Average Rating:7.27 Overall Rank:490]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#15: Zendo - While deduction games aren't favorites of mine, I do enjoy many of them; induction games, however, just don't do anything for me. But at least Elusius bounds the space fairly reasonably; Zendo annoyed me by tending toward problems that were either too easy or too hard; playing using the puzzles included might avoid this, but removes the creative element. The game might be improved by requiring the puzzle creator to walk across a bed of the icehouse pieces first.
 
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12. Board Game: Assassin [Average Rating:3.42 Overall Rank:11013]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#14: Assassin - The game of waiting impatiently for the opportunity to do something. Anything. Doesn't even need to be an assassination; a knee-capping would be find. Cement boots. Tripping an unsuspecting shopper. The game might be improved by playing it as a LARP.
 
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13. Board Game: The Mystic Wood [Average Rating:6.43 Overall Rank:2530]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#13: Mystic Wood - I'm no fan of fantasy quests anyway, and Mystic Wood didn't even seem to me to do a good job of carrying off questing. The game might be improved by a retheming as Mystic Sheep.
 
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14. Board Game: Mogelei [Average Rating:4.65 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#12: Mogelei - I love good trick taking games. Unfortunately, this isn't a good trick taking game; I'm not even sure there _any_ game contained within the box. The translation may be contributing to my reaction, but I couldn't find any problems. The game might be improved by adding Wolfgang Kramer as a co-designer.
 
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15. Board Game: Go Wild! [Average Rating:5.15 Overall Rank:9847]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#11: Go Wild - You know, I wish I could remember why I disliked this game so intensely. Actually, on second thought, maybe I don't. The game might be improved by combining it with Waz Baraz to make it Girls Go Wild.
 
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16. Board Game: The Three Stooges Card Game [Average Rating:4.79 Overall Rank:10360]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#10: The Three Stooges Card Game - You know, the comparison in the description here to Lunch Money is very interesting; since I don't mind the theme of The Three Stooges but really disliked the game, Lunch Money might be a challenger for #1 on this list if I ever played it. The game might be improved by putting the game away and watching the shows instead.
 
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17. Board Game: Tic-Tac-Toe [Average Rating:2.57 Overall Rank:11059]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#9: Tic-Tac-Toe - While it still meets my requirement to consider it a real game - it is possible to play poorly - that in no way, shape, or form indicates an actual desire to play it. I have no problem with solved games requiring a supercomputer to solve, but ones that can be solved by a 2nd grader are more worrisome. The game has been improved in many, many different ways, none of which I really have any more desire to play than the original.
 
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18. Board Game: War [Average Rating:2.17 Overall Rank:11056]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#8: War - What I most like in games are choices. Therefore, the fewer choices a game offers, the less I'm likely to enjoy it. If, like War, it goes on far too long... The game might be improved by the addition of the Peace expansion.
 
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19. Board Game: Bingo [Average Rating:2.62 Overall Rank:11057]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#7: Bingo - As few choices as War, but with less variety. The game might be improved by creating a theme song; perhaps something with a dog.
 
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20. Board Game: Heuchel und Meuchel [Average Rating:4.92 Overall Rank:10035]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#6: Heuchel und Meuchel - We've now reached the part of my list where the translation may have contributed to my reaction. But we saw no game there whatsoever; we reached the point where it truly broke down. The game might be improved by giving the rather pretty components to a good designer - take your pick - and seeing how they use them.
 
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21. Board Game: Schickeria [Average Rating:3.94 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#5: Schikeria - As we tried it, unplayable. I now have a copy of Big Funeral, and will be trying it on the chance that either (1) we missed something (translation-related or otherwise) or (2) Hexagames changed something. The game might be improved with the addition of plastic zombies.
 
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22. Board Game: Isis Süsse Sünde [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#4: Isis Süsse Sünde - Educational games are a fine thing - provided that the word "game" isn't just an excuse to torture the participants. Isis' Sweet Sin could probably sell most Monopoly-haters on the relative virtues of Parker Brothers #1 seller, as the game is every bit as long but without the opportunity to make any significant choices and with far too much of the game devoted to doing almost nothing. Imagine a game with just the moving around from room-to-room element of Clue. The game might be improved by eating the components.
 
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23. Board Game: Quidditch: The Game [Average Rating:2.51 Overall Rank:10939]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#3: Quidditch the Game - Rowling is a fine writer, and a good story teller. Unfortunately, she's not a game designer, and Quidditch isn't terribly interesting as a sport. Quidditch the Game manages to do altogether a good job of simulating the sport. The game might be improved by including a real broomstick; sweeping the other components into the trash would be faster and more satisfying.
 
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24. Board Game: Poker [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:680]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#2: Poker - I don't care for gambling, and I don't care for bluffing. Combining the two into a single game, then, is not the way to make me happy. Now, I'm perfectly happy to admit that objectively Poker is a reasonable game; in some forms, perhaps ever a good one. But it's one that bothers me so much that I will not play it; I'm just thankful there are enough other non-Poker players at gaming conventions that this doesn't leave me twiddling my thumbs during the increasingly frequent Poker games. The game might be improved by playing to the death, or at least to the pain.
 
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25. Board Game: Pferdewetten [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Joe Huber

Westborough
Massachusetts
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#1: Pferdewetten - You know, it took something really bothersome to pass Poker as my least favorite game. Pferdewetten managed the trick; imagine a "game" wherein you scratch off a lottery ticket, and one player is named the winner as a result. That is the "joy" that is Pferdewetten. The game will be improved by giving it to Sheila Davis to increase the size of her collection by one.
 
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