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Craziest Friday Morning Ever...
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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My son, Mikhail Shayne Tolman, was born on Friday, March 30, 2012. This is his story...
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1. Board Game: Labors of the Gods [Average Rating:8.50 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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My wife woke me up at 5:06 AM.

"We need to go to the hospital, I'm having contractions.", she said.

"How long have you been having them?", I asked.

"I've been up since about 4."

I hopped out of bed, not in any particular rush, after all, she was in labor about 12 hours with our first child. I put some clothes on and asked her, "How far apart are they?"

"About 2 minutes." she replied.

"2 minutes!? We gotta go!"
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2. Board Game: Babysitter Game [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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While I was getting dressed, my wife called her friend, Karen, to come over and watch our first-born, Kaewynn. She said she would be right over, and lives only a few blocks away.

Me and my wife headed downstairs to to await her arrival right after a contraction. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, she started having another contraction...

"That was NOT 2 minutes!" I squeaked, in a prepubescent voice, "get in the car, we're not waiting for Karen to get here."

It's about a 10-12 minute drive from where we live to the hospital. We hopped in the car and headed out while my wife phoned Karen to see where she was. Karen said she was getting into her car so that was good enough for me and we headed out, as fast as our Saturn would take us.

Luckily it was about 5:15am at this point and traffic was sparse. I ran the light to get onto Macleod Trail and put the hammer down...
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3. Board Game: Formula D [Average Rating:7.11 Overall Rank:300]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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As we sped down Macleod Trail, it was becoming apparent that it was not going to be a long labor and after a few more contractions, Kathy (my wife) said, "I feel like I have to push."

*Let take a quick intermission and chat about our first baby*

Kaewynn was born right after Fallcon, the awesome gaming convention held every year in Calgary. I got home from the convention at 6PM Sunday and said, "This is literally the most tired I have ever been." and fell asleep. At about 6:20PM she woke me up and said, "I'm having contractions, we should go to the hospital."

At the hospital, Kathy had some pretty hard back labor, which means the baby is sitting to far back. This caused her to feel a strong urge to push before it was safe for her and the baby. The Doctor was constantly talking her down and making sure she did not push, for several hours.

Kaewynn was born at 3:20AM that morning.

*Back to the business at hand...*
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4. Board Game: Don't Push Your Luck! [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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Remembering Kaewynn's birth process, I said, "You DO NOT have to push! You have to breath! Breathe."

"No, I really have to push."

"No, you really have to breathe."

"Matt, the baby is coming!"

"No he's not! Breathe through it!"

"NO, MATT! He's HERE! He's crowning! Please pull over!"

At this point I had to carefully consider my options:

a) Cease to exist.
b) Barrel ahead to the hospital and hope we made it in time.
c) Pull over.

I chose option "a", then realized I don't know how to do that, and changed to option "c". Once I had the car stopped I realized that option "c" also included delivering a baby, and then I remembered I didn't know how to do that either. Oh well, too late.
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5. Board Game: Can't Stop [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:482]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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I ran around the side of the car while dialing 911 on my cell, ripped open the passenger door helped turn my wife towards the door while staring at the back of my son's head.

And then, a serenity came over me. I was no longer Matt, the prepubescent monkey, I was General Matthew, commander of the Universe!

"Hello, 911 emergency. What is your situation?"

"Hi! We are having a baby, RIGHT NOW!"

She then proceeded to waste my time trying to calm me down (she had no idea I was the commander of the Universe) and then took our location:

"Where are you now, sir?"

"I'm almost to Canyon Meadows drive, on Macleod Trail."

"Which way are you headed?"

"Northbound. I can't really hear you. I'm plugging you into my car."

I plugged my phone into the car stereo and cranked the volume as I was having trouble hearing her over the sound of traffic whizzing by, and also so I could have both hands free. I could now hear her perfectly say, "Sir, I can't talk to you on speakerphone. Please take me off Speakerphone."

Sure lady, no problem, whatever's good for you... is this a bad time? Maybe I should call back later...

"Ok."

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6. Board Game: Sound Off [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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I unplugged the phone from the car and continued the conversation with my phone on my shoulder.

One thing we had going for us was that the ambulance dispatch was only 4-500 meters away. I could now hear the sirens and what a relief that was, until...

I now shifted my focus back to my wife and the baby. the head was now fully out, and I was supporting it with my hands.

The 911 dispatcher had told me to get underneath the baby and make sure it did not fall, which seemed pretty obvious to me. "What do I do now?" I asked, but it was clear she did not know. She proceeded to re-ask me my location and offer what she thought was soothing jibber-jabber, but as someone who has previously worked in a call center, it was obvious to me that she was clearly stalling while she pulled out the "assisting a birth over the phone" document.

After a 20 second silence, she had the answer: "Support the vagina."

Ok, great, and I moved in to support the vagina. Wait. What? Support the Vagina? "What does that even mean?!"

"Just press on it with your hand, sir."

Um, does this woman realize there's a baby sticking out of said Vagina? I now realized it was up to me. I put the woman out of my mind, waited for my wifes contraction to end and looked at Kathy, "You can do this, I'm here. Now push!"
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7. Board Game: Baby Boom [Average Rating:6.04 Overall Rank:7701]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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As she pushed the shoulders came through, pretty far, and I thought we should probably just get the rest over with. I said "push" again, and all at once we heard a quick squeal of a baby cry as he came free and I felt a gush of warm fluid over splash over my cold hands.

As I held the baby, I put my phone back to my ear. "It's here, the baby is out. What now?"

"Check to make sure the airway is clear, and that he's breathing."

I put my ear down to his head and could hear him breathing. I thought it was strange that he wasn't crying but I figured he was tired and that I'd just let him sleep; plenty of time for crying later.
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8. Board Game: Ambulance Chase [Average Rating:3.50 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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Now that the baby was out, I suddenly realized, and said, "WHERE IS THE AMBULANCE!?!?!"

"They can't find you sir, where are you?"

"We are south of Canyon meadows on Northbound Macleod Trail."

"Oh, I sent them north of Canyon meadows" She replied.

Great."I can see the fire truck, can they see me?"

"Yes they see you, the're coming to you."

I saw the fire truck turn south towards us but it's a long way around to us from where they were (probably around 15 blocks), but fortunately the ambulance had snuck up behind us while I was looking at the fire truck.

From here all I remember is flashes. The paramedics where there, then he went around and helped Kathy into the car so they could close the doors and keep warm.


In this picture you can see the paramedic through the back window of the car, as well as the canyon meadows drive overpass.


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9. Board Game: Mother [Average Rating:2.44 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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As you can tell, I snapped a couple of pictures at this point. I just stood back for a few minutes as they did their work. I've always had trouble understanding the overprotective parents/husbands who get in the way of medical workers and cause trouble at the hospital in crisis situations. I'm definitely the "overprotective make sure I'm not impeding the trained professionals" type. I'd stand in the creek under the bridge we were parked on if I thought I'd be less in their way.

I was parked so close to the guard rail that there was no easy way to lift Kathy from the car, so after they cut the ambilical cord Kathy had to walk to the stretcher, literally 5 minutes after giving birth, what a champ!

The paramedics asked me inside the ambulance so they could close the door. Once inside the checked everyone out and confirmed that baby and mom were, in fact, awesome. Then they argued with my wife about her getting an IV (she faints when I get a shot. They lost.

Once everything was confirmed awesome, they snapped a couple pictures of us, and I took a couple pictures of them.




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10. Board Game: Mercy! The Hospital Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
matt tolman
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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Look for my first published game, Undermining! Coming soon from Z-man games.
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After chilling out in the ambulance, I got back in my car and followed the ambulance to the hospital. The drove slow all the way there which I appreciated until we were about halfway there and I started to doze off and shake at the same time.

I managed to stay awake, however, and went up to the sixth floor where the maternity ward is.

I walked down the hall towards the maternity ward and the paramedics came around a corner ahead of me with my wife and baby on the stretcher. All was well.

Mikhail Shayne Tolman is named after me and my father, but mostly my father.
My full name: Matthew Shayne Tolman
My Dad's full name: Micheal Shayne Tolman (he goes by Shayne)

He was born at 5:26AM (20 minutes after I woke up)
We got to the hospital at 5:57AM.
Mikhail weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces at birth.
For more about the birth, you can listen to the radio interview I did on CBC Radio, here: http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Radio/1447825254/ID=2218303180
And my brother's silly, mostly fictional blog post, here:
http://knowallthepeople.blogspot.ca/2012/03/matt-had-baby-on...


At the hospital

At home
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11. Board Game: Automobile [Average Rating:7.41 Overall Rank:193]
KingKel Adams
United States
Florida
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My parents didn't make it in time to have me at the hospital, they had to pull over and I was born in the back of their van. Probably the worst and best day of my daddy's life :o)
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