"You Never Told Me That Rule!" -- Rules You Most Certainly Told Them.
Dave Lartigue
United States
Springfield
Massachusetts
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Every game has at least one rule that, if you don't get, makes much of the action pointless or ensures that you will lose. When teaching the game to new people, you will be sure to stress that rule over and over, since so much hinges onit. And, invariably, at some point the new player will claim fervently that no, you NEVER told him that rule because if you had, he would NEVER have made that play. Let's hear the game, the rule, and if you wish, the story.
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A.J. Sansom
United States
Saint Charles
Missouri
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My wife: "I win! I win!! I've got 2 Glory points and can stash the rest of my 80 gold to get the rest of the 10 points! Whoooooooo!"
Me: 
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NO, I am Barry and you are the tick
Netherlands
Den haag
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"So you try to collect as many pairs of boobies as possible."
Complaint when the a player gets the first pair:"But those are not identical"
(7 pages and still no busen memo  )
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Bryan Lane
Canada
Victoria
BC
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This one has a lot that always seem to get the new players, and counter crashing is always at the forefront of confusion:
1. If someone crashes a 4 gem at you, you can't counter crash or respond with a crash react in any way.
2. You can't counter crash or respond with a crash react if the attack makes you ante gems
3. You can't counter (counter) crash or respond with a crash react if the net number of gems sent to you by a counter crash is zero.
4. Those arrows give you actions to play DURING YOUR TURN. YOU DO NOT PLAY THE ADDITIONAL ACTIONS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION YOU ARE RESOLVING (seriously, this one drives me crazy).
These 4 are the absolute worst for new players completely glossing over and forgetting. You can tell them a hundred times, but the first time it comes up in play, they'll forget all about it. #4 is a mistake that only non-dominion players seem to make, which is why I usually insist on teaching my friends/family members dominion before puzzle strike (plus dominion's fun too!)
There are others, and those generally include Master Puzzler and Double Take (if it ends your action phase, you can't use the extra actions! Double taking recklessness is an absolutely terrible idea, incidentally)
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Tom Russell
United States
Dearborn
Michigan
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"... and in the final roll-off, if there's a tie for the number of dice, it goes by the number of pips-- i.e., seven 6s are going to beat seven 1s."
Player nods and continues diddling with his cell phone.
Fast-forward to the final roll-off in a three-player game.
"Now, remember, if there's a tie for number of dice, it goes to the player with the higher-numbered of-a-kind."
Player proceeds to use his turn to produce a set of eight 1s, and is confident that he will win the game. The rest of us roll, and roll eight 5s (me) and eight 6s (last player) respectively. When we announce the latter was the winner, the first player gives me The Look.
Rather than hold firm, as we should have, the winning player suggested we make it a three-way tie, which I thought was rather gracious of him.
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Auguste PDX
United States
Oregon
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Hah, just messing with you.
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James Denam
United States
North Carolina
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"What do you mean I can't turn in three purple tiles for 10 points if I don't have anyone on the mixing space?"
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Alanna
United States
Sunnyvale
California
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Despite my attempts to clearly explain how cards must be played... pretty much every game, at least a couple players will make a few attempts to place a card sideways or askew to the rest on the table, or break other placement rules.
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