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Game Bile - Alternative Viewpoints on the Games You Love
Liam Liam
Scotland
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gulpgulpgulp Game Bile gulpgulpgulp




Remember your favourite game - The one that you're going to bring your kids up playing, the one from your childhood, that perfect game that has given you some much pleasure; the game that you always recommend because its rules are written on your soul and no one could ever not love it?

Yeah well - not everyone agrees and some folk disagree with bile.



How to play:

Look up your favourite game(s), go to the lowest ratings and pick your favourite negative comment(s). Add your game and the comment to this list (if someone has posted your game comment to add another favourite quote)

This is a bit of fun celebrating the divergence of opinion in our community and the best putdowns about the games you love.

Don't post who said what and don't use this as an excuse to argue with anyone. Just enjoy the bile because we all have some for someones favourite game.

Please don't criticise/mock people or their comments either; this is about enjoying peoples' negative comments on games you love.

I hope you have a strong stomach!
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26. Board Game: War of the Ring (first edition) [Average Rating:7.85 Overall Rank:34]
David Morneau
United States
Maspeth
New York
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Quote:
The only thing epic about this game is the nap that I took waiting for my turn. I love LOTR, but my GOD this was dull. If I want to 'relive the experience of the books' then I can watch the movies in about the same amount of time.


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27. Board Game: Trajan [Average Rating:7.84 Overall Rank:38]
Mathue Faulk
United States
Cedar Park
TX
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Quote:
Not a fan of the designer. The game is too busy, chaotic, low-no interaction, no theme, lots of down time, and AP prone. Don't like the mancala rondel. Can not get those 3 hours back and will not play again. Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Most comments are negative but some still rate it above 3 - perplexing.

To paraphrase a popular lament of every Latin student...

The Trajan game is dead
As dead as dead can be
First, it killed the Romans, now its killing me
All are dead who spoke
All are dead who heard it
All are dead who learned
Lucky dead they've earned it.
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28. Board Game: Crokinole [Average Rating:7.81 Overall Rank:39]
S H
United States
Merrillville
Indiana
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Quote:
Likely worth a 3 or 4, but this is ranked in the top 100 of board games, seriously... filing 1 as a protest vote. This is as much a boardgame as the Pétanque or horse shoes are. Whatever...


Gee, I hope this kind of thing doesn't happen in political elections, too! cry
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29. Board Game: Pandemic [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:40]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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"It would've been good if it weren't for the stupid mechanic of reshuffling the cards and putting them back on top of the deck everytime an epidemic card is drawn. defenders of the realm is 100% better of a game, screw pandemic."

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30. Board Game: Troyes [Average Rating:7.74 Overall Rank:48]
Nathan Evans
United States
Chattanooga
Tennessee
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"Dice, dice and more dices. I have seen better dice games. This is dice hell." gulp
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31. Board Game: Stone Age [Average Rating:7.65 Overall Rank:49]
Fabio Binder
Brazil
Curitiba
PR
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Quote:
Update: My husband has now 'broken' the game. He can calculate the dice probabilities/victory point outcomes for every meeple placement decision in the game... in his head in real time. The game has degraded into a competitive 'spreadsheet solve'. I either mathematically calculate optimum meeple placement each turn... or lose... We're going to trade it and buy something he can't break.

Update: Downrated to 5 after additional plays.

Update: Downgraded again. We now own genuinely good light games...

Very disappointed with Stone Age. The pieces are lovely, but
the scoring system feels opaque so you have no idea who is winning until the end. The theme has no connection to the game and strategy seems to involve mathematical calculations of which cards to pick.

It's definitely harder to teach than Agricola because of the obscure win conditions. With Agricola, you need to find out HOW to build a better farm. Stone Age is more abstract.

It feels less intuitive than Agricola family rules, significantly less thematic and much less fun to play. No idea why it's seen as a 'gateway' to Agricola.


Definitely not for geniuses.
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32. Board Game: Goa [Average Rating:7.70 Overall Rank:52]
Robèr Boonmann
Netherlands
Geldrop
Noord-Brabant
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chyba goła, gra bez niczego
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33. Board Game: Railways of the World [Average Rating:7.72 Overall Rank:54]
Patrick
United States
Orem
Utah
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This was the only comment of the 11 people who rated the game a 1.

Quote:
Too Big, too crowded, warped board, too slow, overated.


There were quite a few comments among the 23 ratings of 2. I thought this was funny attached to a 2.

Quote:
I hate this game because of the turn order system. Other than that, it's a fine game and I won't argue with those that like it.


The hatred of the luck/chaos of the bidding is so intense that it reduces the "fine game" to a 2. We all have different pet peeves I guess.
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34. Board Game: Summoner Wars: Master Set [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:58] [Average Rating:7.77 Unranked]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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1
"There is a divergence between guys who like anything goes style themes like Marvel vs Capcom and Heroscape and people who like coherent, even unique, themes.

This is for the former."

2
"This is a game for breadth gamers who think they're depth gaming. "

3
"Is almost an OK game.... *** .... Also it has deck-building. Gross. "
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35. Board Game: Chaos in the Old World [Average Rating:7.70 Overall Rank:59]
Jeremy Smith
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
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Quote:
Do not be sucked in by the inexplicably high rank (which must be the result of some infernal deal) because this game is random, chaotic, and probably broken. But gameplay aside, the hideous artwork, grotesque miniatures, and disturbing descriptive text left me with an oppressive feeling from which it took me a couple days to recover. This is a horrible game that glorifies evil and suffering.


An oppressive feeling from which it took a couple days to recover? Sounds like the people playing the other chaos gods did their job! devil
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36. Board Game: Age of Steam [Average Rating:7.73 Overall Rank:60]
♪ Isaäc Bickërstaff ♫
United States
Greer
South Carolina
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The results of a five yeer studee ntu the sekund lw uf thurmodynamiks aand itz inevibl fxt hon shewb rt nslpn raq liot.
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Quote:
I don't like train games. Played twice. The first time, 09/09/03, was "eh". The second time, 12/30/03, was the worst gaming experience of my life. It was 3 hours of just getting further behind, with zero chance of getting out of debt. That this can happen is an extremely serious design flaw.

And what really irked me was when the designer was asked how to get out of this situation, all he had to say was don't get in it in the first place. That ranked right up there with the tired old joke, "Doc, my arm hurts when I do this (swings arm)". And the doctor replies, "Well, don't do that."

I don't disagree with the second point, but that's also the main reason I like the game as much as I do.
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37. Board Game: Ticket to Ride: Europe [Average Rating:7.59 Overall Rank:62]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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"I really can't see why anyone would enjoy this game, in a constant state of boredom or annoyance, but mostly both."
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38. Board Game: Tichu [Average Rating:7.65 Overall Rank:64]
United States
Houston
Texas
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Quote:
I still feel nauseous when I think about the fact that I actually played this.
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39. Board Game: Go [Average Rating:7.71 Overall Rank:68]
Phelan
Portugal
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Quite a few pretty entertaining ones, from 1 to 3:
Quote:
This is a game? The first to play win, period, an insult to intelligence, and a total waste of time.


Quote:
Why is go here.???(3142 Question marks omitted)???...(424 dots omitted)...???(351 question marks omitted)???

I wonder if the above is a more existential question than it appeared to me at first.

Quote:
I'm flabbergasted that this game is ranked higher than chess !?!?!

But this is not a shill rating. Go earns the 1 ranking all on its own.


Quote:
The rules say something like "making pretty patterns is as much a part of the game as surrounding your opponents pieces" If I want to do that, I'll make a quilt.


Quote:
You go! Find different game!


Quote:
Its the devil!


Quote:
Abstract and sick. It haunts me in a bad way. Not that I'm saying it is not a good game for someone....I just won't be that someone ever again.


Quote:
Average abstract strategy game. This game received it's name thousands of years ago from the saying "'Go' ahead, devote your life to it, I'd rather learn Karate."
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40. Board Game: Cosmic Encounter [Average Rating:7.61 Overall Rank:66]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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I can't just pick one!

1.
"After a second play, I still hate it, but it is more of an intense distaste rather than the all-consuming malice I bore it before."

2.
"Why won't they let this chaotic piece of crap follow the law of entropy?"

3.
"A real piece of crap. I can't belive they'd re-release something like this. Boring, random and fuzzy rules."

4.
"....Now I am going to say something a bit offensive:

I would be more excited to play Snakes and ladder than playing cosmic encounter...."

5.
"Its not terribly fast, and despite there being 50+ different races, each player only gets 1 of them. Having access to more than 1 race would give you some additional choices."
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41. Board Game: Hannibal: Rome vs. Carthage [Average Rating:7.83 Overall Rank:69]
sunday silence
United States
Maryland
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I cant really disagree with any of these comments. I still appreciate Hannibal....

"My biggest issue is that I felt it was an overwrought game of reversi. Any game can be distilled and belittled like that, but in this case I don't think the abstractions on top of it did anything to further the case of the game. It just felt like the game got in the way of our flipping counters from one side to the other.

"Combat resolution slows down the game quite a bit and I'm not convinced the battle cards really add anything apart from the occasional chuckle at how absurd the whole process feels. Winning a battle becomes a card-counting exercise that has little to do with actual tactics

"I'm really, really tired of those control marker, area majority type of games that feel just bland as far as I'm concerned.

"Hannibal seems to be simply too long for the amount of luck it brings into play. Having the luck of the draw to influence an hour long game is one thing, but when we shift gear to a 4 hour title it's a completely different matter

"...we're talking about a game that has two tables for casualties calculation, and at least a couple of exceptions on almost every rule. I can understand that many of those exceptions and design choices have their justification, along with the occasional historical flavour, but the gap between that and the combat system is considerable.

NOTE: He's talking among other things, about the luck factor (hard to quote the entire comment) vis a vis the considerable complexity and that disconnect is quite apt. You look up all these rules and exceptions and you still toss a dice. Also true of a lot of games.


"Going back to the rulebook after the game made me notice how much space is taken by rules that come into play just once in the game, at most. On the other hand, you have three different retreat rules concerning cities, that hardly compare with the couple of simple paragraphs about political influence, one of the main paths to victory.

Just to add on: In typical fashion the game has like very simple reinforcement rules, you get 4 or 5 guys each turn, basically. So obviously this is some gross over generalization; but then they turn around and give you nearly indecipherable rule about where to place them with all these contingencies! To what end? There's clearly very little historicity here as you get a set number if you control Spain etc. It doesnt add skill or make the play easier. It just bogs down the game in another useless rule look up.
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42. Board Game: Runewars [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:70]
Kelly Fischer
United States
Ellendale
North Dakota
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I haven't played this game yet, but I rate it so badly because of its low box quality not acording with such a expensive game. My box was perfect when I bought it. Then I openend it a couple of times and a small crack apeared to the side edge. It grow biger and biger with out me touching it and now it is the whole of the side edge.
If I pay almost 100 € for a game I hope it is of better quality!!
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43. Board Game: Village [Average Rating:7.60 Overall Rank:76]
Laszlo Molnar
Hungary
Budapest
Hungary
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Quote:
Not another Euro.
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44. Board Game: Space Alert [Average Rating:7.60 Overall Rank:78]
Todd Walden
United States
Minneapolis
MN
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There is only one thing that can make RoboRally even worse: a co-op mechanic. And Space Alert is exactly that...

zombie
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45. Board Game: Shogun [Average Rating:7.62 Overall Rank:79]
Jay Cockrell
United States
Sault Ste. Marie
Michigan
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Ah, quote time!

"I hate Wallenstein and really don't understand why try to improve a crap game. Burn Shogun burn."


"Eurocrap where you throw cheap wooden blocks into a cheap looking paper tower. The game just LOOKS cheap. And the play is drawn out and boring."



"I really, really, really, really hate that tower, with its magical teleportation powers that can negate any strategy for distributing your army on the board. Far more random than any dice based combat mechanic, as at least in that case you can play the probabilities.

Otherwise it's actually a fairly decent game."


Last one!

"Some people fashion there is a game inside this box. I would ascertain that there is no game, only your mind that tricks you into thinking one is exists."


I adore Shogun, but this was some enjoyable fun guys and gals! Thank you for the score comments.... time to hunt down for some of my other favorite games!
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46. Board Game: Ticket to Ride [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:84]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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"Oh, look a rummy game with trains..."
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47. Board Game: Galaxy Trucker [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:86]
Fraser Grant
Scotland
Windsor
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
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48. Board Game: Memoir '44 [Average Rating:7.53 Overall Rank:88] [Average Rating:7.53 Unranked]
S H
United States
Merrillville
Indiana
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Quote:
The single worst war game ever made. Pure luck. No strategy...
You will see one troop take out 15 tanks and 15 troops with no return fire...

This game is not even good to teach kids as it would teach them bad ideas.

If I could, I would give this a negative rating. But as long as we all know this is a TOY that wasn't thought out too well, then a 1 is ok.

Does it make money? Do people bet on craps? ...

So to summarize...I hate this game. Are you getting this.....game...strongly dislike...bad...garlic...lighting too much.......I hate you mieces to pieces!


I edited down to the Morgansternian Good Parts for brevity (the original rant was thrice as long! Love the passion mixed w vitriol.
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49. Board Game: Dungeon Petz [Average Rating:7.64 Overall Rank:87]
Chris Wilczewski
United States
Folsom
California
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"In fairness, I never played the game. I heard the rules explanation, remembered how much I enjoyed Dungeon Lords, and decided I should find something else to play."
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50. Board Game: Jaipur [Average Rating:7.53 Overall Rank:90]
Liam Liam
Scotland
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The best bile I could find... but it hits it's mark

"Ah, another card game just like the others."

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