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BGG Dumpster Diving
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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Parts of this geeklist have been changed in an attempt to avoid a pending lawsuit (some details may have been fictionalized or exaggerated. I'm really sorry, Oprah!). I apologize to my readers who may have thought this a work of non-fiction.

Driving through Dallas a small, southern town a couple of weeks ago, I decided to spend a some time researching BGG--watching folks come and go, sifting through the trash outside the building, etc interviewing staff after having filed proper BGG paperwork. Some might call my behavior "stalking," but I have always found that word a tad negative, so I try to avoid it when talking about myself.

I have uncovered some things you may not know. Feel free to add.

Aldie is on vacation and currently unable to track my activity, so I've decided to post this now to show how much I've learned about the employee-friendly, ecologically-sound (they run a green server!), charitable organization we call BGG.
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1. Board Game: Corporation [Average Rating:3.33 Unranked]
Rick B
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Sunnyvale
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"Aldie" is much more than a person an administrator. I witnessed numerous people coming and going from BGG Headquarters. In the trash under banana peel and six unopened AOL installation CDs I found this: a 2003 internal document for the "Association of Likeable and Dedicated Internet Engineers (ALDIE)." After a little research, I found that posts by "Aldie" can be coming from nearly 120 different people; some posts are even outsourced to workers in India. a company-wide photo that showed Aldie standing next to a server .

Glancing over some personnel records, I found Derk's name, as well as a couple more interesting ones: Carmen Elektra was originally on the payroll as "BGG Spokesmodel" (fib) and GROGnads was listed as a "Communications Specialist," but his employment was apparently terminated after only a few weeks. No specific reason for his departure was given. and he was commended on many occasions for his talent for public relations.

Also interesting to note: all internal memos must be in the form of a geeklist geekQuestion & Answer. Company policy.

By the way, I took the six AOL installation CDs, so now I have 65,900 free hours of dial-up internet access. I just can't forget to cancel.
 
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2. Board Game: Chez Geek [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:3932]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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I also found a special issue of Entrepreneur Magazine from 1996. In it was an article on "emerging markets" called "Eight Days a Geek: It's Not Enough to Show You Care." This article focused on the idea that geeks, once stereotyped as "Anthony Michael Hallish Popularity-Challenged Help-Get-Me-Out-of-This-Locker" types, are now fully integrated, productive, well-to-do members of our society. They have so much disposal income and time; they can often spend up to 10 hours per day and $100 per week on almost anything, particularly those things having to do with monkeys, ninjas, pirates and Egypt. It was because of this article, I believe, that Aldie changed the focus and name of "boardgamejock.com." The entire site was originally slated to focus exclusively on arm greco-roman wrestling.

Oddly enough, I found the magazine beneath an old set of well-used Munchkin cards server warranty with an expiration date of August 7, 2006.
 
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3. Board Game: Twister [Average Rating:4.61 Overall Rank:10842]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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Another odd thing I found: three used Twister mats and a case of empty Harvey's Bristol Cream bottles. I'm not sure what that was all about. I did overhear someone mention the weekly "New Employee Orientation and Hazing." "get to know your neighbors cocktail soirée and game night."
 
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4. Board Game: The People's Court [Average Rating:3.90 Unranked]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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I found some court papers. Most words were censored with a thick black marker, but I could still make out "Child Online Protection Act" and "Busen Memo." I think the final resolution of the people vs. BGG is that Busen Memo cannot appear in geeklists for and/or about children, with the exception of geeklists for and/or about nursing infants. This one was made up. Sorry.
 
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5. Board Game: Take Stock [Average Rating:5.93 Overall Rank:3803]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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There was Enron stock certificates my losing "Take Stock" portfolio contest entry in the recycling bin (I believe the winners of that contest to be guilty of some form of insider trading, and I'll get some evidence to prove that, just you wait). I'm assuming that the unfortunate purchase is related to the fact that Aldie has a negative GG balance. I have felt like giving him some GG to help him get back on his feet, but then it dawned on me--he must do it for tax purposes. I'll bet he has thousands of GG saved on servers in places like Switzerland, far from the long arm of Uncle Sam.
 
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6. Board Game: Unpublished Prototype [Average Rating:7.05 Overall Rank:1487]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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I'm not saying that the Aldie Corporation is selling out, but I did see a few sketches and notes for some sort of BGG CCG.

"I'm going to activate my ynnen and Legomancer. My Geeklisters will attack your Reviewers!"

"I guess I'll defend with the powerful TomVasel. That should do it."

"Not so fast! I've got a gschloesser! Your 'session' is over! Ha Ha!"

edit: this one is pretty much true, I think.
 
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7. Board Game: Lizzie McGuire: What Would Lizzie Do [Average Rating:4.33 Unranked]
Rick B
United States
Sunnyvale
CA
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I also found packaging for a Best of Lizzie McGuire DVD Hilary Duff Sings the Blues CD. I don't think it's relevant to this discussion--I just thought I'd mention it.

edit: A little white lie here. It was a CD and not a DVD, and I did, actually, think it might be relevant.
 
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8. Board Game: Affection [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
 
Rick B
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CA
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Finally, I found literally thousands of letters from BGG fans all over the world, thanking "Aldie" for all he does. It's amazing how much love and devotion folks here have towards Aldie. Some letters went way beyond what I'd consider "platonic affection," and were, shall I say, very steamy. After a couple of hours of reading, I decided I'd better climb out of the dumpster and get a room.
 
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9. Board Game: Illuminati [Average Rating:6.22 Overall Rank:1797]
Trevor Dewey
United States
Miami
Florida
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It's all just a plot to control boardgamegeeks.

(Edit: the above statement was written on this geeklist by a fellow BGGer, and puckhead, inc. takes no responsibility for submissions and/or comments on said geeklist by non-puckhead affiliated participants.)
 
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10. Board Game: Game of Knowledge [Average Rating:5.25 Overall Rank:9294]
 
Rick B
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I was actually surprised to find a copy of Immanuel Kant's classic book Critique of Pure Reason. I found out through more dumpster digging that at one point Aldie has joined some sort of New Age computer science sect called "Epistemological Programming," where the theory and intent behind the computer application was more important than the syntax. It subsequently turned out that "Epistemological Programming" apps failed to run on any current OS platform, and were eventually abandoned. One of the most common elements in the code was "$please();", or sometimes, in complicated applications, "$prettyplease();". Aldie ate a healthy Lean Cuisine spaghetti dinner with a side of broccoli and some cinnamon apple product for dessert.

edit: I tried to invent Epistemological Programming back in the '80s. No one was interested in my hard work, and I am still bitter about it.
 
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11. Board Game: Mamma Mia! [Average Rating:6.50 Overall Rank:951] [Average Rating:6.50 Unranked]
Rick B
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Sunnyvale
CA
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I wondered what to make of an old Abba LP, a pair of tap shoes, and a plastic replica of a Tony award. I now believe (this is pure speculation, mind you) that derk moved to New York City to pursue his dream of becoming a backup dancer in the Broadway production of Momma Mia that those items may have accidently fallen out of my ride into the dumpster as I was getting out of the Westfalia.
 
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