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That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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326. Board Game: Forbidden Island [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:406]
Josh Bailey
United States
Hendersonville
North Carolina
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Diver: "Alright, that's the last of the four treasures, now if we can just get a helicopter lift over to Fool's Landing then another lift to get off this island we..."

Navigator: "Wait, if the helicopter is already here to take us to Fool's Landing, why don't we just leave the island from here. There's no reason for a layover."

Helicopter Pilot: "Nope. Sorry. The off-island flights only leave from Fool's Landing. You'll have to take a connecting flight."

Navigator: "But that's dumb. And how did you get this helicopter inside a cave anyways?"

Helicopter Pilot: "..."
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327. Board Game: Arkham Horror: Innsmouth Horror Expansion [Average Rating:7.98 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.98 Unranked]
Kevin Kam
United States
Fullerton
California
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A haggard investigator stumbles into the Fed's office, crumpled papers clutched in his shaking hand and a manic look in his eye.

"There's the last of your proof. The whole city of Innsmouth is a haven for these--these things"

" . . . My God, you're not crazy. We have to move. Now."

The Feds sweep into Innsmouth and force the Deep Ones back into the depths from whence came. It's a messy job, but how could they argue with what they were now witnessing? The Deep Ones were real!

Two days later . . .

"It wasn't enough! They've come back! You have to raid the town again, or we're all doomed!"

"Yeah . . . so we're going to need exactly the same amount of proof as last time."

" . . . Excuse me?"
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328. Board Game: Lancaster [Average Rating:7.54 Overall Rank:159]
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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King: Great news subjects. After consulting with my barons, I, have agreed to pass a law to make murder illegal.

*Crowd goes wild*

King (to nearest baron): Wow, they seem pretty impressed by that, in fact way more impressed than I expected them to be. Am I missing something?

Baron: Well, you see, we are only allowed 3 laws at a time. When you pass a new one, the oldest existing one is immediately repealed. By making murder illegal you have just repealed the law on adultery. Now excuse me, I am off to pay a visit on the Queen.
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329. Board Game: Hacienda [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:468]
TOKYO Heartbroken
England
York
North Yorkshire
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Gauchos of the Argentine Pampas, bring your herds of animals to market. See the fine herds of cattle treading steadily across the plain. Admire the magnificent herds of horses being rounded up for branding. Marvel at the mighty herds of sheep massing at twilight.

And wonder in utter amazement at the herds of pigs on the South American Pampas? Pigs? On the pampas? Are you sure? When did that happen?
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330. Board Game: Mille Bornes [Average Rating:5.68 Overall Rank:5140]
ThirtyEighth
United States
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Racer: Out of gas? We are ruined!

Partner: Don't worry buddy, we'll just drive the rest of the race in this Gasoline truck.

Racer: Where did you get that?

Partner: I uh, found it.

Racer: Won't we have trouble going at a decent speed in that thing? It doesn't look very aerodynamic.

Partner: We'll use extra gas to compensate!

Racer: I'm pretty sure this is illegal and unscientific, but okay.

*****Later*****

Racer: Another red light! We are so close.

Partner: Not to worry, we can just drive the rest of the way in this Firetruck!

Racer: Wait, what?

Partner: We will have the right of way!

Racer: Now I know that's illegal!

Partner: You worry too much!

Racer: And won't we be vulnerable to running out of gas again?

Partner: Nah, I'll just run the fire-hose into the gasoline truck!

Racer: How far will that reach?

Partner: Oh, about 1000km
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331. Board Game: Paths of Glory [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:46]
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"Just get that sucka to the designated place at the designated time and I will gladly designate his ass...for dismemberment!" - Sho Nuff.
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I love PoG, but two humorous points stand out:

#1) There is a card that says the Russians may withdraw before battle for the entire turn. This card raises the war status. Hmmm ... the more we run away, the more committed we are to the war?

"Don't cross this line or else."

[crosses line]

"Well don't cross THIS line or else..."

(I also think of the "Brave Sir Robin" song from the Monty Python movie ... Run away!!!)

#2) You attack a lone corp with 3 reduced armies. The armies have been reduced for quite some time, but you never spent the replacement points to fix them. You destroy the corp without taking any losses.

"Sir, we completely destroyed the enemy. Shall I give the order to advance on his strategic position?"

"No. We cannot. We are not as strong as we were back in August of 1914."

"But sir, we haven't taken casualties all year. That position is important! We can cut off the enemy's supplies! Why wait?"

"Because we aren't as good as we used to be."

"Why did we attack the position if we had no plans of advancing?"

I could understand the rule if it prohibited an army that had been reduced IN THAT COMBAT, but not an army that was already reduced, ya know?

Still, a great game. Just an illogical mechanic.
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332. Board Game: Brass [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:15]
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"Just get that sucka to the designated place at the designated time and I will gladly designate his ass...for dismemberment!" - Sho Nuff.
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It's been 2 years since I played my only game, but this one made me shake my head:

Only *I* can build a boat. You see, there's not enough wood nor enough ship builders to build another one.

shake

And this isn't sour grapes. I build BOTH of the boats.
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333. Board Game: Railways of Europe [Average Rating:8.12 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.12 Unranked]
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"Just get that sucka to the designated place at the designated time and I will gladly designate his ass...for dismemberment!" - Sho Nuff.
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I set up a production facility in a city. After I produce so many goods, I will shut down shop and sell to no more.

Market saturation?

No, my competitor in the next town over is still selling units.

Poor logistics?

No. My competitor is less than 100 miles away and our cities are connected by a railroad.

shake
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334. Board Game: The Great Fire of London 1666 [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:1373]
Tomas Inguanzo
United States
Unspecified
Unspecified
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A trained, professional fire brigade will contain a fire, but they won't put it out unless someone explicitly commands them to do so.


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335. Board Game: Reef Encounter [Average Rating:7.19 Overall Rank:317]
Gentleman Loser
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The parrot fish will eat a coral reef destroying it utterly. But it can only eat a reef if there is a shrimp on the reef.

That is one messed up ecosystem.
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336. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:355]
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I know Diplomacy has been added before, but no one has mentioned the convoy rule. Good God, the convoy rule.

Armies can move overland at most one province per turn. Fleets can at most one water province per turn. Armies being convoyed can in principle move from any coastal position to any other coastal position in one turn, as long as there is a continuous chain of allied fleets.

Somehow this always conjures up in my mind the image of soldiers skipping merrily from ship to ship on their way from Syria to Norway.
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337. Board Game: Pirateer [Average Rating:5.45 Overall Rank:10228]
Ulysses Duckler
United States
portland
Oregon
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arrrhPirate Captain: Maintain course for skull island, we shall reach the treasure in but one turns time.

Pirate Lookout: Sir, we have stopped, and there is an British ship heading straight for us!

Pirate Captain: They mean to ram us then? Man the side cannons at once! We shall sink them before them even touch us!

First Mate: But sir, we don't have any cannons!

Pirate Captain: No cannons? What is this vessel, a luxury cruise ship? Don't we have any weapons?

First Mate: Unfortunately, no.

Pirate Lookout: The British ship has stopped its course, and they are right beside us!

Pirate Captain: Impossible! No ship is able to come to a full stop like that without laying anchor!

Pirate Lookout: Sir they are moving again... and now their entire ship is rising out of the water and floating directly over us!

Pirate Captain:surprise O SHI- ( British ship falls into the water, completely crushing the pirate ship)

British Captain: We have destroyed the but the first of these pirate scum. The treasure shall be ours!

Pirate ships can be destroyed like goombas?





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338. Board Game: PitchCar [Average Rating:7.23 Overall Rank:251]
Ludovic Roy
Canada
Gatineau
Québec
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Red: Holly cow Blue! You were in 4th place, way behind me just a second ago, and now passed me for the lead! That was an insane acceleration in turns 2 and 3 and that massive straight!

Blue: Doesn't matter, I have to turn around and go back.

Red: What? You're in the lead! You passed Yellow and Green as well!

Blue: Yeah, well I bumped Green off the track in turn 3.

Red: Well we're professional drivers, Green can get right back on and try to catch up!

Blue: No, I have to turn around, go all the way back to turn 2 and then wait. Enjoy your win red.
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339. Board Game: Thunderstone [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:338] [Average Rating:7.08 Unranked]
Ludovic Roy
Canada
Gatineau
Québec
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A mighty party of heroes is about to enter the dungeon.

Lead by a Stoneguard Tanker, 2 Selurin Warlocks, a Veteran Berserker and some items.

Tanker: OK boys, I can take care of this Plaguebearer, I don't even need my sword. Berserker, you take it.

Berserker: Eh, what for?

Tanker: Well, Take the sword, and attack someone else, like this Hungry Dead here, and you two Selurins kill that Guardian!

Selurin 1: Sorry mate, can't do that. Only 1 monster per party.

Tanker: What? So you guys are just going to stand behind me and watch while I Kill Plaguebearer here, even though you could take care of this nasty Guardian and this Hungry Dead with all our attacking power and magic?

Rest of the group Eh.....
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340. Board Game: Small World: Cursed! [Average Rating:7.57 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.57 Unranked]
William Hostman
United States
Eagle River
Alaska
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Gaming in Greater Anchorage area, Alaska since 1978. Looking for Indy-willing RPG players in Eagle River (or willing to drive to Eagle River). Geekmail me if interested.
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There's the issue of the Were- power...

The game is a civ-ish type game... and some bozo puts in a power that specifies the turns are 12 HOURS long? WTF?!?!?!

This so strains credulity that I left it in the sprue. And hid the sprues under the insert. I can't quite go to pitching it, but, really guys, this is stupid beyond belief.

Even for a game with Diplomatic Zombies and Flying Hobbits.
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341. Board Game: Castaways of Deadmans Bay [Average Rating:6.73 Unranked]
Brian Hamilton
United States
Asheboro
North Carolina
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You are fighting (among other things) to push the opposing pirate's crew members into the water on either side of a plank.

On normal ships with planks only one side ends in water; the other side ends back on the boat. arrrh

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342. Board Game: A Castle for All Seasons [Average Rating:6.78 Overall Rank:740]
Rob Steward
United States
Meridian
Idaho
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Twice in the rules for A Castle for All Seasons, it is made abundantly clear that the Master Builder is not allowed to build anything.

. . .

By the way, does anyone know... is there a way to search a Geeklist to see if it already includes a certain item? I didn't see this game, but I really didn't pore over the whole list in great detail.
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343. Board Game: Horus Heresy [Average Rating:7.15 Overall Rank:724]
Martin Plourde
Canada
Windsor
Quebec
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Horus: Thunderhawk 1, Take these 2 chaos space marines to Lion's gate spaceport ASAP! Thunderhawk 2, Take me and follow TH1! They need our support to take the last spaceport and win the game!

Thunderhawk 2: Sorry master, but... I... can't..

Horus: BUT WHY! I'M THE BOSS! TAKE ME IN!! It's only five spaces away! We have a refresh phase the next change of initiative, so we can execute a firefight and might win the whole war!

Thunderhawk 2: But.. Master.. YOU ARE NOT A UNIT! You have to walk! I'm going alone!

Horus: Damn it!
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344. Board Game: Warhammer Quest [Average Rating:7.40 Overall Rank:464]
Brian Modreski
United States
Thornton
Colorado
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You've just torn through an entire army of demons like they were so much ripe wheat.

You're wearing armor of meteoric iron that has bonded itself to your very skin and renders you nearly invulnerable to attack.

You're armed with a blood-dripping blade of destruction that you claimed from the treasure horde of an ancient and fearsome dragon that breathes raw lighting - after having slain that dragon.

You wield so much deadly arcane magic you can kill a foe with a whispered word and an angry glare.

Unfortunately for you, you just went shopping, where in the course of three days you get beaten to a pulp in stand up fights with a merchant, a farmer, and a drunk beggar. Without even a die roll to protect yourself.

Apparently, "mighty" warriors in the Warhammer World are really the ones so pathetic they can't even hope to cut it in a town - they go "adventuring" in dark dungeons as a relaxing getaway from all the nastiness up above!
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345. Board Game: Chaos in the Old World [Average Rating:7.70 Overall Rank:59]
Brian Modreski
United States
Thornton
Colorado
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Peasants are defenseless and easily killed by demons.

See above
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346. Board Game: Macao [Average Rating:7.46 Overall Rank:156]
Alfonzo Smith
United States
Hawthorne
California
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Players set sail for distant ports to trade even though their cargo holds are empty. Merchandise for trade will appear in transit.
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347. Board Game: Artus [Average Rating:6.29 Overall Rank:2075]
Ben Bateson
United Kingdom
Ross-on-Wye
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I suppose it's a bit unfair, picking on what is basically a good abstract game, but...

"Hitch up, Your Majesty. I want to sit here, thank you very much"
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348. Board Game: Pastiche [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:772]
Brian Hamilton
United States
Asheboro
North Carolina
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Mixing 3 of the same color gives you almost any color including white.

..Obviously a decision made for gameplay purposes.

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349. Board Game: Hive [Average Rating:7.36 Overall Rank:143]
Petros Ioannidis
Greece
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So I win if I surround the enemy bee..
But I lose if I surround mine..
Does the cause of death is asphyxia?
Or I just like to kill surrounded bees?
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350. Board Game: Monsterpocalypse [Average Rating:7.24 Overall Rank:876] [Average Rating:7.24 Unranked]
Nick P.
Germany
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In Monsterpocalypse some buildings leave burning rubble when they are destroyed, while other buildings just leave some rubble. Now there are figures that have the "extinguish" ability, which allows them to turn a fire into normal rubble, while other figures have the "ignite" ability which allows them to set the leftover rubble of a building on fire.

Seems rather logical? Well, yes, but if the building was a nuclear power plant the leftover isn't rubble or a fire but a radioactive hazard, and the "extinguish" and "ignite" abilities don't cause or fight a fire there, but instead turn the radioactivity on and off.
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