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That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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101. Board Game: Corsairs [Average Rating:6.10 Overall Rank:3101]
James Campanella
United States
Hamilton
Virginia
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"Avast, men! Prepare to attack yonder merchant. Arm yourselves with these bananas."

"What about pointed sticks?"

"Shut up!"
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102. Board Game: Attack! [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:3344]
Matt R
United States
DFW
Texas
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General: Our strategy is to take over their oil fields - but what does our latest intelligence say about their secret location?

Lt. General: Well, sir, the enemy just discovered a very rich oil field in China, but it could be anywhere now...
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103. Board Game: Betrayal at House on the Hill [Average Rating:7.10 Overall Rank:333]
Michael Johnson
United States
Unspecified
Unspecified
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Like the aforementioned Clue, you could be a traitor in league with dark forces and not know it.
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104. Board Game: Paths of Glory [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:45]
Philip Thomas
United Kingdom
London
London
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Russian HQ, 3rd, 4th and 5th armies:

"Sir, we've been cut off from our supplies! We can't move or attack!"

"Oh dear, what cut us off?"

"Sir, a single damaged German Corps has marched from Kiev to Riga*. All our territory west of its line of pasage will surrender to the Germans at the end of the season, and we will be utterly destroyed!"

"..."

*In more than one action round, obviously: my opponent didn't realise until it was too late.
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105. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:107] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
Branko K.
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- So, my dear son, what do you want to be when you grow up?
- A farmer like you, daddy, so I can lie on the ground all day long!


- Good day, sir knight, who has been with us through thick and thin, while the city growed from tiny village to this magnificent sprawling metropolis!
- Yes?
- Well, we've finished building the city, so please be so kind and bugger off.
- But..




- *yawn* I'm tired. I'm gonna lay down a little bit here on the grass...
- Hey, you! This is my field, and there's no place for both of us here!
- But it's, like, a giant meadow, and there's noone else here...
- Oh man, if I wasn't glued to the spot and in addition some 137 miles away behind three cities and a giant river, I'd come right now and beat you senseless!



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106. Board Game: BANG! Dodge City [Average Rating:6.91 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.91 Unranked]
Brad Keck
United States
Utah
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Pepperbox Card - If I have a rifle, my tiny revolver can shoot someone fives spaces away!
If I have Colt .45, the same tiny revolver can only shoot one space!
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107. Board Game: Betrayal at House on the Hill [Average Rating:7.10 Overall Rank:333]
Alex Chilton
United States
Eugene
Oregon
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I have a Lake upstairs in my house. Right next to the church. and the satanist altar.

AND THE ELEVATOR?

What kind of creepy old haunted house has an elevator?
a dumbwaiter maybe, but an elevator?
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108. Board Game: Zombie Plague [Average Rating:6.74 Overall Rank:2166]
Alex Chilton
United States
Eugene
Oregon
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"Once we barricade all of the windows and doors the zombies wont be able to break them, even though if just one door is barricaded they can just tear them down at will."

Also, in my experience the best way to break down a door is to get five of your friends and stand in an organized line in front of it.
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109. Board Game: Around the World in 80 Days [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:995]
Brad Keck
United States
Utah
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We are racing around the world.
I pull ahead of everyone else.
I get a reward for reaching every single city along the path before everyone else.
I reach London before everyone else.
Everyone else is penalized every turn because I have reached London and they have not.
I am immune to penalties because I am already safe home in London while everyone else is still trying to get here.
In the end, it took you less time to get to London than me?????
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110. Board Game: Siena [Average Rating:6.18 Overall Rank:2692]
Stefano Castelli
Italy
Rome
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Ok! I've been a farmer, i worked hard and now I became a powerful merchant. Then I worked hard again and I became a rich banker. And now... all my money is going to be lost to... PROSTITUTES? blush
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111. Board Game: Taluva [Average Rating:7.18 Overall Rank:313]
Darcy Dueck
Canada
Vancouver
BC
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A useful strategy is to destroy my own huts under flows of lava and build temples and towers over top of them to win the game.

Who visits the temples and towers if the population is decimated because all of their huts are burnt to a crisp in the lava flows?
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112. Board Game: Carcassonne: Hunters and Gatherers [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:282]
J. Romano
United States
Denver
Colorado
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The fact that rivers could be cyclical has always bothered me a little about this game.

Maybe it's because, when I was young, I thought I could construct a looping flow of water. My father explained to me that that wasn't possible, but if I was able to do it I would probably become very rich. I never was able to disprove my father.

(Imagine how many verses of Row, Row, Row Your Boat you could sing on one of those circular rivers!)
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113. Board Game: Lord of the Rings [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:497]
Pieter
Netherlands
Maastricht
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This too shall pass.
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Good intentions are no substitute for a good education.
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Frodo gives the ring to Fatty...
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114. Board Game: Xiangqi [Average Rating:7.18 Overall Rank:687]
Daniel Danzer
Germany
Stuttgart
southwest
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The General stays in his fortress, togehther with his advisors / guards.

So far, so good.

But assume, he is in check, and there is no way out of it but by leaving the fortress? This is checkmate then, bro`!

Would a general not leave his fortress if otherwise he`d be dead!?

And the other one:

It is forbidden that the generals have free sight to each other. There has to be at least one piece in between them. Always! It`s called the "lethal view"!

Do generals drop dead if they see each other through a telescope?

Hmmm ... these ancient chinese folks have more secrets we should draw from the scripts ...
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115. Board Game: Mall of Horror [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:827]
Mark Slater
United Kingdom
Newport
Newport, South Wales
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I'm down to my last piece, the guy with the gun.
I'm Safely in the Security Office with the heavy.
There are no zombies outside, but they are everywhere else.
Yet I still must move to a different room on my turn? cry
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116. Board Game: Sunken City [Average Rating:6.18 Overall Rank:2365]
Mark Casiglio
United States
Bethany
Connecticut
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So let me get this straight ... The Great Neptune ... Master of the Waves ... Lord of the Oceans ... God of all the Seas on the Earth ... can't go in the water?
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117. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.63 Overall Rank:6632]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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...and a curse.
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1) Well, it took me five hours to finally walk all the way to the entrance of the ballroom. Any moment now I will enter that room and make an accusation. Wait! What's happening! You guessed that I performed the murder here in the Study, and now I have magically appeared here. Good lord, I'll never solve this case.

2) After carefully evaluating all the evidence, gathering clues, and questioning witnesses, I know for a fact that I did it!
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118. Board Game: Ingenious [Average Rating:7.22 Overall Rank:221]
Brent Gallmann
United States
Oshkosh
Wisconsin
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What's so ingenious about moving my cube to its highest scoring point? Isn't it more ingenious to advance my cube with the lowest color score?

Maybe the game should be called Playing Stupid or something like that.
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119. Board Game: Inkognito [Average Rating:6.64 Overall Rank:1028]
Luis Paulino Mora Lizano
Costa Rica
Asunción de Belén
Heredia
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You can teletransport tokens representing players and the diplomat almost everywhere in Venice after asking questions. Perhaps the designer never tried the vaporetto...
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120. Board Game: Catan: Seafarers [Average Rating:7.21 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.21 Unranked]
United States
Collegeville
Pennsylvania
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"Well, now that we've built a ship, let's sail to that jim-dandy island across the bay there."

"We'll need a few more ships..."

"More ships? For what?"

"Well, we can't walk over there on just one - you have to nail them together. Are you daft?"

"....?"
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121. Board Game: The Awful Green Things From Outer Space [Average Rating:6.48 Overall Rank:1243]
Michael Hammond
United States
Aurora
Illinois
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AAAAAGH! AN ALIEN! WHAT SHOULD WE DO!

How about we try feeding it some of our food?

I could never figure that one out. Are they trying to bean the aliens with the full canisters of Zgwortz? Or maybe just the smell will be sufficient to repel them? gulpyuk

Mike

zgwortz
... both Zs are on double letter score, so ...
What do you mean the game only has one Z!
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122. Board Game: Struggle of Empires [Average Rating:7.54 Overall Rank:188]
Luis Paulino Mora Lizano
Costa Rica
Asunción de Belén
Heredia
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Silver coins worth more than gold ones.

To move an army you have to have a boat... in the destination point, not at the starting one.

Your worst enemy can be your allied.

Powers like to transport forts stone by stone from its home countries, even when they can just build them with the available resources in their colonies.

Nevertheless, this game is really good!!!
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123. Board Game: Nuclear War [Average Rating:6.21 Overall Rank:1776]
Robert Neff
United States
Culver City
California
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The game starts out with every player telling all their secrets and even their top secrets. When a player has a turn and draws a secret vs a regular card they must first play their secret.

It was questioned by some new players I taught the game that if they are "secrets", should they NOT be told to everyone? They had a point.
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124. Board Game: Arkham Horror [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:136] [Average Rating:7.42 Unranked]
Ethan Krindle
Canada
Victoria
British Columbia
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As I stared up into the endless black gulf of the sky, the true horror of my situation finally dawned on me - for in it were contained alien constellations whose cold, feeble light no human eye had ever glimpsed! That eldritch portal through which I had stepped had flung me beyond the farthest reaches of space and time, and I could not help recalling those passages in the monstrous Pnakotic Manuscripts which hint at other, terrifying dimensions beyond our own. But I had no time for further reflection, for the mists before me began to waver and part as a hideously suggestive dark form approached. What blasphemous horror beyond human conception was I about to confront?...

"Hello, sir. My name is Smith and I'm with the Bank of Arkham."

"Who... what did you... how... THE HORROR!"

"Ye-essss... Sir, on August 18, you took out a loan from the Bank of Arkham for the sum of $10.00."

"How did you even get here? We're on an alien planet... in another time... in an mythical monster-haunted dimension which may exist only in someone's dream!"

"Sir, I'm not authorized to discuss internal bank procedures for these matters. You'll have to speak to the manager. Now, your latest interest payment of... one dollar and zero cents is due immediately, and I have come here to collect it."

"But... but I spent my last dollar buying this Elder Sign... which is our only hope of stopping the hideous alien forces which seek to destroy all makind!"

"Well, I'm afraid we'll just have to confiscate that, then. Maybe this will teach you a lesson about responsibility, sir. Please sign here... and here..."
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125. Board Game: If Wishes Were Fishes! [Average Rating:6.53 Overall Rank:1501]
Anni Foasberg
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Eventually, there are so many fish on the market that nobody wants them anymore.

...So, of course, they...keep buying them at the same price, and just throw them away afterward?

"Supply and demand? What's that?"
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