That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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126. Board Game: Wreckage [Average Rating:5.54 Overall Rank:8636]
Anthony Rubbo
United States
Philadelphia
PA
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"Ok, let's get our souped-up vehicles decked out with guns, armor, and turbo-charged engines, go to the Arena of Death, and see who can PICK UP THE MOST GASCANS OFF THE GROUND?!?!!!!"

Environmentally conscious mayhem for 2-4 players!
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127. Board Game: Memoir '44 [Average Rating:7.53 Overall Rank:88] [Average Rating:7.53 Unranked]
Jim Nave
United States
Canby
Oregon
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Each army has it's own colored hedgehogs and barbed wire... except that some scenarios require you to use the hedgehogs and barbed wire of both armies.
So effectively the invading army is hindered by its OWN devices.
If you're going to use all of the pieces anyways, why not just make them all gray?
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128. Board Game: Hansa [Average Rating:6.93 Overall Rank:490]
Lou Seelbach
United States
Huntington
West Virginia
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Captain: "Being the captain of the only ship in the region sure is profitable!"

First Mate: "Captain, our lord has commanded us to travel overland from Tonsberg to Stockholm!"

Captain: "Never fear, we will take covered wagons, and once we arrive in Stockholm our ship will magically appear!"

Alternatively... Captain: "Never fear, we will dismantle the ship, build covered wagons out of the wood, and once we arrive in Stockholm rebuild the ship. How efficient!"
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129. Board Game: Tally Ho! [Average Rating:6.09 Overall Rank:2126]
Matthijs v S
Netherlands
Arnhem
Unspecified
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"any moment, that tree can turn into a bear."
"Do I hear footsteps? probably just another hunter"
"what's that growling behind me? Maybe I should turn around. Naaah, I should keep aiming at that tree"
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130. Board Game: The End of the Triumvirate [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:861]
Dave Lartigue
United States
Springfield
Massachusetts
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If you lose a battle, you get better fighting chances.

Lose a second battle, not only do you get a batter fighting chance, but you also can improve in your military competency!

Also, as soon as they elect you Consul, three senators immediately stop supporting you. You just can't please some people.
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131. Board Game: Magic: The Gathering [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:124]
N/A
Black: "Forsooth, knave, I shall striketh thee and cleave thee in twain!"
White: "Thou shalt not, foul valet, for my sword shall split you from head to stern, spilling your black ichor onto this ground!"
Black: "No, it shall not, white oaf, I shall plunge my sword into your chest and you shall die like any man!"
White: "Accursed being, I can strike first and shall!"
Black: "No you shall not, for I, too, have such powers bestowed onto me!"
White: "I am also immune to your accursed power!"
Black: "Ha! Tis naught that your petty divinity can do to me as well!"
White: "Foul creature!"
Black: "Fervent pawn!"

Both: SWOOSH ZIP ZING FWOOSH SWISH ZWOOP SWOOSH ETC ETC

Both: Curses! Missed again!
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132. Board Game: 10 Days in the USA [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:1348]
N/A
To fly from Louisiana to New Mexico, it takes one day, but you can instead, walk across Texas (which also takes one day).

You cannot travel by car from Maine to New Hampshire.

If you want to fly from California to Nevada, you need a three-day layaway in Alaska or Hawaii first. It takes less time just to walk there.

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133. Board Game: Winds Of Plunder [Average Rating:6.48 Overall Rank:1864]
Michael Evans
Canada
Nobleton
Ontario
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Amazing New Scientific Discovery!

Caribbean Pirates Possessed Powerful Mental

Elemental Abilities That Allowed Them To

Manipulate Wind Patterns Across the Entire

Caribbean Region!!

(film at 11)
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134. Board Game: Catan Histories: Struggle for Rome [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1492]
Michael Evans
Canada
Nobleton
Ontario
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Barbarian Tribes can freely pass through unplundered, unconquered cities on their way to plunder/conquer some other city.

Scene: An entire tribe of Visigoths tramping through the streets of Rome-

"Worry not, Roman Citizens. We mean you no harm. We're merely taking a short cut on our way to wipe out Naples!"

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135. Board Game: Naval Battles [Average Rating:5.96 Overall Rank:3347]
Just call me Erik
United States
Waldorf
Maryland
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"Sir, the supply ship is here!"

"Did they bring 14" shells?"

"No sir, they brought 11" shells."

"But we don't have any 11" guns!"

"I know, sir."

"Toss the 11" shells overboard and tell them to go back and get more!"
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136. Board Game: Thurn and Taxis [Average Rating:7.15 Overall Rank:258]
Antti Tahvanainen
Finland
Helsinki
Uusimaa
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"What do you mean, we have to abandon our almost-estabilished post route because we are not allowed to visit Stuttgart again?"
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137. Board Game: Colosseum [Average Rating:7.18 Overall Rank:290]
Antti Tahvanainen
Finland
Helsinki
Uusimaa
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A: "Congratulations, your event was just spectacular! Better than anything I've seen before!"

B: "Thanks, we've been working for it for months to make it perfect."

A: "Yeah. We had problems with the decorations, and had much worse show. BTW, the Emperor said that you have to give us the best comedian of your team."

B: "But.."
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138. Board Game: Twilight Imperium (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.88 Overall Rank:31]
Antti Tahvanainen
Finland
Helsinki
Uusimaa
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There's one thing that has been troubling me and my friends in this game. The Great Races have been separated for 3000 years, have broken out of Imperium and are in open war against each other. Still, they voluntarily obey all the laws passed in Galactic Council?

Someone has said that no government can maintain power without an army.
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139. Board Game: Factory Fun [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:563]
Antti Tahvanainen
Finland
Helsinki
Uusimaa
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"Yes, you can turn 1 unit of yellow into 3 red. Yes, you can further turn those 3 red into 3 brown and 2 yellow. No, you can't make the yellow go back to first machine."
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140. Board Game: Caylus [Average Rating:7.90 Overall Rank:20]
Daniel Cristofani
United States
Portland
Oregon
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"Can I buy some cloth from you?"
"No, I'm just a weaver. You need to find a chicken-and-pig farm."

"Okay, the walls are done."
"But we've only built the western half!"
"Yeah, but today's the deadline, so we have to start on the towers."
[The bailiff is a former software manager.]

"That provost is getting ahead of me. I'd better speed up and run a whole block past him."

"I want to build an inn."
"Sorry, not allowed. How about a nice hotel?"
"What's the difference?"
"You can't serve alcohol. Oh, and nobody can stay there."

"I want to help build the castle. Here are my building materials."
"Let's see, wood, cloth, food -- can't build a castle without food -- right, looks good, we'll build this section of wall right away. Oh, and you get a royal favor. What would you like?"
"How about my food back?"
"Sure thing."

"Can you change my coins into gold?"
"No, I'm an alchemist -- I don't mess with metals. You'll have to build a bank."

"Sorry, sir, there's a strict three-bribe limit. Campaign finance laws."

"I'm building a lawyer."
"Out of what?"
"Wood and cloth. I'm thinking of using a pumpkin for the head."
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141. Board Game: Brass [Average Rating:8.03 Overall Rank:16]
Mark Holmes
United Kingdom
Shipley
West Yorkshire
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Foreman 'Mr Arkwright, sir; we've built the mill you requested but we need Coal to power t'loom'
Arkwright 'No problem, my good sir, we'll transport the coal from my coal mine along yonder Canal we built some few turns ago'
Foreman 'Mr Arkwright sir, we also need Iron to build the railway line you asked for'
Arkwright 'Again, no problem. We can beam it from t'other side of Lancashire using this here teleportation machine that fell through a wormhole int' Time-Space Continuum from yonder 25th Century'
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142. Board Game: Hoity Toity [Average Rating:6.56 Overall Rank:906]
I didn't drive all the way down here to play a peace game
United States
Mission Hills
California
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Red Detective: "You know, maybe we should stop by the Auction House for a change. I'll bet that cash register is getting ripped off all the time."

Blue Detective: "But the Castle has donuts."

Red Detective: "Excellent! Gimme a lift?"
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143. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:165]
N/A
"We have the most soldiers on this island and we can't stop a lousy robber?"
"Sir! Do you know how BIG that robber is?"
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144. Board Game: Guillotine [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:817]
Teppo Saarinen
Finland
Turku
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-"I am ze master spy, me. Every time something 'appeen I steal back to the end of ze line, hehehe!"

-"Well, if you're such a hot-shot master spy, why don't you escape the line altogether?"

-(Fixes with icy stare as only a frenchman can)"Why, zat would be, like, UNSPORTING."
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145. Board Game: BANG! [Average Rating:6.62 Overall Rank:723]
Teppo Saarinen
Finland
Turku
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So you get chucked in jail. Tough luck!

But hey! The sheriff is a big believer in fair play and gentlemanly conduct:

-If the indians are overrunning the town, he will hand you back your revolver (or winchester, or volcanic) to take pot shots at them between the bars.

-If someone challenges you to a duel you will be let out for the duration.

-Naturally, if someone bears a grudge against you, they can just stick their colt through the bars and take pot shots at you. Same goes for throwing in bundles of dynamite with burning fuses.

-He also allows beer to be drunk in jail. Nice!
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146. Board Game: Sherlock Holmes: The Card Game [Average Rating:6.40 Overall Rank:2750]
Andrew Taubman
Australia
Sydney
NSW
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I say Holmes, we seem to be stuck in this hansome cab, with no way to get out! We must be in London somewhere as that's where we got in, but we still can't find ... er ... London!

Elementary my dear Watson, we're lost. Not so lost as we will be when if Thick Fog occurs and we can mysteriously find ourselves in The Country, but just lost enough to not be able to find the entire city of London.

I see, Holmes. But I know where The Country is! Couldn't we just take this cab to the railway station and take the train there?

No, you poor deluded fool! No-one can ever take a cab to the station! Cabs only to Baker St, Scotland Yard, or London itself, then you walk to the station!
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147. Board Game: Daytona 500 [Average Rating:7.18 Overall Rank:839]
Josh Bisbee
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I'm driving more than one car at a time, and I can move other cars once in a while.
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148. Board Game: Hannibal: Rome vs. Carthage [Average Rating:7.83 Overall Rank:69]
 
Philip Thomas
United Kingdom
London
London
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"Mr Consul sir, all of the enemy are dead: we lost the same number of men ourselves. What next?"

"The corpses of the enemy have surrounded us with a Double Envelopment! We must flee."

*corpses rise up and slaughter entire Roman army*
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149. Board Game: Wallenstein (first edition) [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:185]
Wei-Hwa Huang
United States
San Jose
California
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Grrr... I know I must have trained at least 15 armies in Salzburg, so why do I keep losing? Why aren't they fighting?

Oh, here they are, magically transported to Holstein. What happened, fellows, decided to take the SCENIC ROUTE?
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150. Board Game: Kill Doctor Lucky [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:1697]
Randall Bart
United States
Winnetka
California
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The Armory is upstairs (and right next to the Nursery). In the Titanic version there is a cannon in the Armory. Someone carried that cannon up the stairs through two rooms (one of them the Library or the Nursery) in order to get it there.
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