That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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176. Board Game: Don't Wake Daddy [Average Rating:4.26 Overall Rank:11047]
Andy Foulke
United States
Bethel Park
PA
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Welcome to Friedey's!
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You want fries with that?
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Daddy wakes up with vim and vigor
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177. Board Game: The Lord of the Rings Trading Card Game [Average Rating:6.81 Overall Rank:1119]
Dylan Shakespeare
United States
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If Smeagol was the Ring-bearer, I don't think he'd be too willing to destroy it.

"Hey Galadriel! How 'bout coming to Mount Doom with me and help me destroy the ring. You want to carry it? Well, ok."

If Treebeard skirmished the Balrog, all he would get would be two wounds, but I think The Balrog could squish Treebeard with his pinky finger.

I have Durin and Elendil in my fellowship and Gimli's my ringbearer.
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178. Board Game: Snowball Fight [Average Rating:4.98 Overall Rank:10150]
Dylan Shakespeare
United States
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You make an avalanche and the opponent catches it? Boulder too?
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179. Board Game: Twilight Struggle [Average Rating:8.34 Overall Rank:1]
Anders Olin
Finland
Vasa
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-Mayday, mayday! We have just discovered that Fidel Castro is in US. Territory!
-Oh no! This means he's about to take over Cuba!
[Multiply NO's]
-Wait, I have a plan. Let's send him to space and get rid of him forever!
[Multiply HURRAY's]

Some years later:
-Mayday, mayday! We have just discovered that Fidel Castro is in US. Territory Again!
Well, send him to space again!
-WE CANNOT! He's not good enough anymore!
[Multiply NO's]!!!!!
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180. Board Game: Stone Age [Average Rating:7.65 Overall Rank:50]
Mike Summers
United States
Ammon
Idaho
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I'm going to send workers out to gather lumber, brick, ore, and gold. Thus they can bring it all in and build...

a grass hut!
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181. Board Game: Shadows over Camelot [Average Rating:7.15 Overall Rank:256]
Damian Evans
United States
Spokane
Washington
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Random knight:My King! My King! Wonderful news!
We've found the traitor.
We've defeited the Saxons.
Found Lancelots armor and the Holy Grail, THE HOLY GRAIL MY KING!!!
Though the forces that would destroy us are still at our gates.
What should we do!?!

King Arthur: Let us lose Excaliber at once.

*gasp*

King Arthur: Yes that will be our final deed that brings this to an end and gives us VICTORY!!!

*cheers erupt from Camelot*

Everyone chants: Lose Excaliber! Lose Excaliber!
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182. Board Game: Mr. Jack [Average Rating:7.12 Overall Rank:288]
Peter Koczan
United States
Wisconsin
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I love this game, but there are some things that just seem a little odd.

Bert/Smith: "Just wait right here, I'm going to move that manhole/light way over there, I'll be right back."

Person alone on the other side of Whitechapel: "Who the **** moved this manhole under my feet? Who turned on this light?"

Goodley: "I suppose you're wondering why I've gathered you here. I've discovered that...gotta go (tee-hee-hee)."

Watson: "This wall seems very interesting, I think I'll light it up. There might be something more important over there, but this wall has my interest now."

Holmes: "Gull, I don't know what you're up to, but I'm going to...Lestrade? What are you doing here."
Lestrade: "I don't know."

Anyone: "Sir, we've found out who Jack the Ripper is, and we're right next to him. But, you see, we've been at it for 8 hours, and we start to get fussy around this time. I think it's best if we all just go to bed."
Inspector: "Very well."
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183. Board Game: Up Front [Average Rating:7.84 Overall Rank:197]
Talorien
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"Sir! A big, tall hill just appeared ahead of us! I swear we couldn't see it before due to all that open ground we moved through!"

"Well, Sergeant, let's get a move on and hoof it up there"

"Sir! We can't! The Germans are discarding some old unwanted wire on us!"
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184. Board Game: Universal Fighting System: Street Fighter [Average Rating:6.15 Overall Rank:6619]
Yo ghurt
Germany
Bonn
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Well, just take a look at Dhalsim's "[low*] Yoga Short Kick" card (picture, bottom left). shake

* Yes, according to the card it's a low attack.
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185. Board Game: Tide of Iron [Average Rating:7.29 Overall Rank:358]
Michelle
United States
Canon City
Colorado
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This one drives me crazy.

"I'm attacking these units with these infantry."

"OK, are you using concentrated fire or suppressive fire?"

"I want the fire that KILLS YOU LIKE IN A REAL WAR!"

or even,

Those guys can't shoot even though I am now right in your face because you have them on oppressive fire. Does the rifle not shoot one way? Am I not just trying to keep you from killing me? And how come it always seems to work in your opponents favor?
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186. Board Game: Kingsburg [Average Rating:7.26 Overall Rank:199]
Andrea Chiarvesio
Italy
Torino
Piemonte
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"Sir, thanks to our Crane we've been able to build more efficiently the Town Hall, an Embassy, and even the Farms surrounding the City"

"Great job guys, now please use it to build a new Chapel for our God"

"Sorry, but that's impossible. The Crane won't make easier to build a Chapel. If you wanted a Church, even a Cathedral, then it would have been helpful, but a Chapel, not. Not even if you need Stables for your horses"

"But... why?"

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187. Board Game: Empire Builder [Average Rating:6.93 Overall Rank:671]
GMOFreePortland.com
United States
Oregon City
Oregon
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The answer to your question is hinted at below. GM me for more details.
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In Empire Builder and its variants, I often have to drop off a commodity in order to make room for another. This results in a situation where I say, "Hey everybody! Here is some free gold and diamonds! Can I have some lead?"

I am also frequently amused by the fact that I have to deliver fish to coastal communities. Don't these people have boats?
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188. Board Game: Blood Bowl (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.59 Overall Rank:167]
Tom Lumley
United Kingdom
Beverley
East Yorkshire
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Bunch of stuff
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Other bunch of stuff
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Mostly a fantastic game...

The bit which irritates due to hideous inconsistency is as follows:

(for the uninitiated, the game is essentially American Football with fantasy races)

When passing the ball, you roll to see of the ball is intercepted *before* you roll to see if the thrower fumbles the ball!shake

This was the case originally in 3rd edition in 1994 and after countless re-writes (most of which have gradually improved the game, to be fair) this inconsistency still persists in the Living Rulebook version (http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/15985).

Imagine:

"And Galadriel Generickelf picks off the pass from Beardy McDwarf in a sensational move"

"Yes Bob, but Beardy hasn't made his passing roll yet- he could still fumble the ball which Gala has already caught... Hang on, is there a wizard nearby messing with time?"

"No Jim, just an implausible requirement for suspension of disbelief."

"Either that Bob or the ball splits at a sub-molecular level whenever a pass action is declared and one version is thrown before it's thrown to see if it can be intercepted, whilst the other is held in reserve to see if it's not intercepted if it's thrown accurately."

"You're absolutely right Jim. That makes perfect sense now."

Yes I appreciate I'm asking for less suspension of disbelief in a game involving fantasy races playing football.

Yes I also know that the designers have said it's been kept this way to allow more interceptions to take place which give players more star player points so they can progress faster.

But....


BUT....


ARGHHH!!! It just doesn't make any sense.cry

I need to have a long lie down and stop ranting...blush
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189. Board Game: Legend of Camelot [Average Rating:5.63 Overall Rank:8675]
Benjamine Allen
United States
Grand Ledge
Michigan
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I am a soldier and get to move 1D6 in a forest and 3D6 on a road...but I can't cross into the woods or plains until the next turn!!! Also, the forest soldier has a chance to move more than me!! This also determines the amount of attack I have. Very chancy game.
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190. Board Game: Kingdoms [Average Rating:6.64 Overall Rank:819]
N/A
"M'lord, our kingdom is indeed prosperous. There is a hamlet three leagues to the north, an outpost one league to the west, and a windmill two leagues to the south."

"What about the witch, troll, and graveyard? They're right next to the castle!"

"We're fine. They're on diagonals."
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191. Board Game: Witch of Salem [Average Rating:6.68 Overall Rank:1142]
Thomas Arnold
Germany
Griesheim
Hessen
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"Come here, you filthy shadow of the most evil of all great old ones... Cthulhu!!!"

*Cthulhu laughs in unspeakable voices*

"Haha... you laugh now, but watch my... MAGICAL GLASSES!!!" *holds them up*

*Cthulhu does not react at all and looks quite a bit bored...*

"Hmmmmm... this does not effect you, eh? Well, um... here is ANOTHER ONE of these MAGICAL GLASSES!!! Ha!"

*Cthulhu gets a bit nervous and even stops his try to solve his Rubic´s Cube (non euclidean edition)*

"Now its time to finish you... a THIRD SET OF GLASSES!!!"

*Cthulhu sees the three items... and growls in horror!!! He flees to his throne at R'lyeh and has the most terrible, endless nightmares... of three identical items...*
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192. Board Game: Witch of Salem [Average Rating:6.68 Overall Rank:1142]
Roger Meertens
Netherlands
Nijmegen
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This is a cooperative game, right? So why are players not allowed to tell eachother whether they've seen a rift or a wall?
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193. Board Game: Project Skyline [Average Rating:5.26 Overall Rank:10088]
Hilko Drude
Germany
Goettingen
Lower Saxony
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What are you doing!? I don't even know you!
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Alright, you build houses in your town. High houses. What? Your opponents do the same? No problem - just have your houses move around the city and tear down other players' houses. But only if the flying architect agrees, of course.
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194. Board Game: Sid Meier's Civilization: The Boardgame [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:9028]
Anna Bug
New Zealand
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"Well men, there are five of you and just one of them, time to show them who's boss of this country!"

"Man 1 - go and kill the enemy!...ok...that didn't work...Man 2, now you try! Oh dear. Man 3 - you should do a better job than your buddies! Hmmm...that could have gone better. Well, man 4 it's your turn to do your stuff! Oh dear. Man 5, it's down to you and him now...good luck."


Do all battles in this game take place on a bridge or something?
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195. Board Game: Humans!!! [Average Rating:5.99 Overall Rank:3963] [Average Rating:5.99 Unranked]
Nicolas Boulo
Canada
Montréal
Québec
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In "Humans!!!", If a human is in the same space as The Lawyer Zombie, she can use her cell to give him/her a call...

DON'T ANSWER !!!

... or you will get infected by the Zombie virus/curse/whatever ...

Another good reason not to have a cell phone.

It will eat your brain zombie zombie zombie
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196. Board Game: I'm the Boss! [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:637]
Andy Hull
United States
Norwalk
Connecticut
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Speaking of cell phones...

I have this great deal you just have to get in on. You are the only person in the world that can help me complete this deal, and I can guarantee you 4 million dollars. I know you hate working when you are on a trip, but I think this is worth it. Call me back when you get this...

I'm pretty sure I would cancel or postpone any sort of travel for an easy couple million.... shake
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197. Board Game: Magic: The Gathering [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:124]
Andy Hull
United States
Norwalk
Connecticut
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I am an almighty planeswalker, able to travel to any realm I choose, summon horrible creatures to battle, and powerful spells to defeat my foes. And you attempt to threaten me with mere grizzly bears?

Actually, Uh... give me a few turns here. I seem to have forgotten any spells which can stop them. It's just.. with such a vast knowledge... of so many powerful spells... they all seem to get shuffled up in my mind. I know I'll remember one eventually....

Aha! here it is...

Now if only I could find a mountain around here and you would be in real trouble Mr. Bears...
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198. Board Game: Vineta [Average Rating:6.29 Overall Rank:2128]
Kyle Dunne
United States
San Diego
California
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As a god it is more beneficial for me to kill all of my own followers than the followers of another god.
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199. Board Game: Red November [Average Rating:6.38 Overall Rank:1133]
Stephanie Watson
United States
Pine Bluff
Arkansas
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(I'm surprised this isn't on here already)

- "Captain, Gnome #4 is drowning - we need to open the door and let him out!"

- "You can't. There's already water in this room - his water won't go anywhere."
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200. Board Game: Doom: The Boardgame [Average Rating:6.94 Overall Rank:555]
Dan Scott
Canada
Port Perry
Ontario
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Grunt 1: Ok, I'm ready to take this challenge on by myself!

Grunts 2, 3, and 4: Wait! We're here to help!

Grunt 1: No, no, no! Don't you understand? If you guys show up, there will be 3 times as many monsters and not enough ammo to go around!

Gunts 2, 3, and 4: But, with more of us it should be easier, right?

Grunt 1: You'd think so, wouldn't you?
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