That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom Bolton Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...
Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...
Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.
Are you following me?
Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. 
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Blake Morris
United States Henrico Virginia
This size viola da gamba is like a cello with frets. I started playing at age 48.
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You are supposed to be an animal breeder. If you have, say, four rabbits, from which you could most likely breed many more rabbits, you get four medals. If you get one of each animal, from which you could breed nothing, you get five medals.
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United States Ithaca New York
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The trapper can walk as many miles as he wants, as long as he doesn't cross a road. (If a chicken can do it, so can he.)
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Ben Bateson
United Kingdom Ross-on-Wye
Owner of original 'crappy art' GtR and pleased about it.
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Defending the Farmstead
Human 1: You'd better keep an eye out for those Tritons from that mountain up there, and the Ghouls from those neighbouring woods.
Human 2: Sure. Will do. Did the boss tell us to look out for anything else?
Human 1: Well, he did mention the flying dwarves.
Human 2: Yeah, right. Stop pissing about, Derek.
Human 1: No, seriously. Flying dwarves, he said. Apparently they can attack us from anywhere.
Human 2: What do you think this is? A circus? We're all struggling for our lives on this tiny island, and you're on about bloody flying dwarves again. Do you think they've got a catapult or something?
Four dwarves fall from the sky and slaughter the bickering humans
Dawrf 1: Right, that's that - let's reorganise and be on the lookout for those mounted giants.
Dwarf 2: ???
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-=] Deroan [=-
United States Cameron Montana
Check out the Cardboard Carnage Blog right here on BGG!
Check out the Cardboard Carnage Blog right here on BGG!
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We used to play the heck out of this game years ago and absolutely loved it when doing long campaigns. At the height of this game we had a campaign last over 2 years with a good 12-14 people... it was a blast.
But something that always bugged me about this game was a rule about enemies in combat... Basically, if you are unaware. Necromunda is a small scale battle putting gang against gang, with a typical game having maybe 6-10 team members.
One of the rules states that when shooting, you need to shoot at the enemy model that is the closest threat to you. (forgive me by not giving exact quotes, this has been years since I have played).
The first time this problem occured I remember very well, one of my gang members was being run down by two enemies. One of them was a weaker lower leveled character with a pistol and the other was an experienced gang member with a heavy bolter.
Basically, if I was to be hit by the guy with the pistol I'd have been fine... if I'd have been hit by the guy with the heavy bolter I'd have died... So I decided to take a shot at the heavy bolter and the other player disputed it, saying that the guy with the pistol was CLOSER to me (let's say for the sake of argument that the guy with the pistol was 8" from me, and the guy with the heavy bolter was 10" from me).
I argued that there is no way I'm going to shoot at the weak guy with the pistol and the bad aim because I knew the heavy bolter guy was a bigger threat to me.
Anyhow, that rule always bugged me. I don't recall the outcome of that specific instance, I think I had to roll a leadership test or something to see I was able to take the alternate shot.
I do recall after that specific game we made a house rule allowing you to shoot at the biggest threat, not the closest threat... It made more sense.
D.
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Confederate Recruit: We've got that Union infantry squad now! There's no way a single Union soldier can take on four of us.
[Hail of bullets mows the Confederates down]
Grizzled Confederate Veteran: Rookie error. Wiping out three quarters of their unit only enrages them.
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Confederate Soldier: Well it took a lot of effort but we've finally flanked them. Give us an hour and we can drive them from these positions.
Confederate Officer: Nope. We retreat. Despite our excellent battlefield position we just can't risk losing a seventh squad.
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Ian Kelly
United States Longmont Colorado
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Hexachlorophene J. Goodfortune, Kidnapper-At-Large, and Devourer of Tortoises par Excellence, at your service.
If you can read this, then this sentence is false.
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This just in, scientists are reporting that the sun has gone supernova. Miraculously, all planets are unharmed, and agricultural worlds are able to continue production despite the loss of this important energy source.
Wait, it's okay! Exploration fleets have just discovered a second, previously unknown sun!
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Laszlo Molnar
Hungary Budapest Hungary
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’Did you expect that guy to be so fast?’
’No, but you know he did have some blue crystals so…’ ’So what? Did he eat them?’ ’Nnoo, it’s just… Like when you were so strong to kick him in the face, do you remember? It was only because you had many white crystals.’ ’Okay… What I still can’t get is if he was so fast how could he make his entire team so fast? That other guy couldn’t even walk!’ ’It’s the miracle of group speed. Maybe he held the two other guys while running fast because of the crystals.’ ’But then how did their speed add to his speed...? Never mind. Let’s go and take home all the crystals they left here.’ ’Wait… Do you want to use your backpack? It’s worth quite much!’ ’Okay, but I’ll take the backpack home, then it will be home, won’t it?’ ’Actually, no…’
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Brian Cherry
Canada North Bay Ontario
Obligitory Smart-Ass Comment Here
Shhhhhhhh!
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"Hello sir, and welcome back to the Hamburgum market"
"I'd like to sell these 2 units of beer, and 1 unit of Cloth. please"
"Certainly sir"
"And, I'll buy one of those boards, and 2 of those bricks"
"I'm sorry sir, I can't do that"
"why not? you sold me building supplies last week?!"
"And you are welcome to come back NEXT week and I will sell you the building supplies, or buy more goods, but not both"
"Can I come back tomorrow?"
"yes, but it'll cost you"
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"that sci-fi guy"
Australia Sydney NSW
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So 1 worm can get a fish? Makes sense. 2 worms gets me a fish? Yep, got it. 3 worms gets me a fish. Ok, (but I'd rather give you just the one). But for 3 worms you'll give me your boat? Wait, what?
A shark will chase away a fish - obvious really. But a shark that will chase away a pearl or coral? Say again?
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Wynand Louw
South Africa Cape Town
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If mice are slow and stupid enough to be caught in this trap, then surely you can just step on them?
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Maarten D. de Jong
Netherlands Zaandam
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- Llewellyn, we have a problem.
- What is it, Kewyn? - There's been some intense financial speculation. Long story, short of it: we can't afford the ground to build our beloved dolmen on anymore. - That's preposterous! - I agree, Llewellyn. - So what do we do? - I dunno. You got any bright ideas?
(deep silence...)
- Yes! I know! Let's stack the dolmen on top of eachother! That way we only use the ground once! - *stares in awe*
A dolmen is a complete structure comprising several megaliths. See for example [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File aulnabrone.jpg]here[/url] or here. So why is it that in this game, I am asked to put several of these rickety things on top of eachother?
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Second in a one horse race
United Kingdom Bromsgrove, Worcs
F&%K YOU, DODGEBALL!!!
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Mediaeval Poltroon: What ho, shopkeep!
Shopkeep: Morning, sir. What can I get you?
MP: I'd like to buy some money, please.
SK: Certainly, sir. And how would you be paying for that?
MP: With money, of course.
SK: That'll do nicely. Anything else?
MP: Well, yes, but I'm not allowed to buy anything more today. I'll have to come back tommorrow! Until then... farewell! [Departs]
NEXT DAY:
MP: Ah, shopkeep! I trust the morning finds you well?
SK: Very well sir. Will you be wanting some money sir? I've just got a fresh batch in.
MP: [patting pockets] Well, er, yes... but, rather embarrassingly, I seem to find myself bereft of either actions or money with which to pay.
SK: Never mind sir. Here - have back all the money you gave me over the last few weeks. Stick it in your pockets and jingle it about a bit. There now. Have you enough to buy some more money?
MP: Why yes, I have three coins, an action and a deed for some real estate. I could sell you the estate for cash.
SK: Sorry, sir. No-one in the Middle Ages is interested in real estate. I can give you gold for copper though.
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Grzegorz Kobiela
Germany Hanover Lower Saxony
Stalker!!!
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"Hi there, butcher! Could you, please, slaughter some of my cattle, I need the damn food."
"Sorry, Mister, but your neighbour Scott is already here slaughtering."
"kk, I'll come back later."
(1 week later)
"Hi there, butcher! What about slaughtering my lovely cattle t'day?"
"I'm sorry, but Scott's still here."
"No, he isn't! I've seen him around the docks gathering some wood!"
"He left his stuff here. I can't let you in until he leaves for the competition."
"What the..?!?!?!"
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215.
Board Game: Tikal
[Average Rating:7.40 Overall Rank:111]

Danger Mike
United States Fenton Missouri
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I don't have time to clear three levels on this pyramid, BUT I can clear two levels, then run to ANOTHER pyramid and clear TWO more levels on that one? And maybe even a third pyramid, if they are close enough together?
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David Henry
United States Anaheim California
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Father Joseph won't use guns but has no problem using a chainsaw and dynamite to kill.
Sally is weak so she can't helf a shotgun. But stabbing a zombie with a 10 foot long fence post is no problem.
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David Henry
United States Anaheim California
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*Spends all night searching the Gas Station for fuel*
"Damn zombies, gotta run."
*first search of the Antique Shop*
"Well what do you know . . . "
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David Henry
United States Anaheim California
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A massive blast rips apart Colonial One in a huge fireball. Surely no one survived that blast . . .
*President Balter moves to Sick Bay, 10 seconds later he recives and executive order from a low ranking mechanic to get off his lazy duff*
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219.
Board Game: Caylus
[Average Rating:7.97 Overall Rank:10]

Ben Bateson
United Kingdom Ross-on-Wye
Owner of original 'crappy art' GtR and pleased about it.
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Yes, it's another virtual game conversation...
Tonight we are a fly on the wall inside the Lamb & Flag Inn in Caylus. Gary Green, a brickie and general labourer, has his feet up on the bar and is halfway through his fifth pint of cloudy ale, when in walks Ricky Red.
RR: Evening, Gary
GG: Alrigh' Rick.
RR: How's the job these days?
GG: Not bad. You heard that the boss of the Orange company ran out of building jobs?
RR: Yeah. It's Olly I feel sorry for. He's a family to feed and he's not even being put out to work.
GG: Of course this meant everyone working for the Green and Red companies started earning two Generic Gaming Cash Units per job, rather than one. Betcha wish you hadn't come down the pub now.
RR: Er...wait a minute, now. There was no market and an employment surplus, and wages doubled?!
GG: Well, I say 'doubled'. I got into Gordon's office last week, and he says to me: "Gary, I'm going to pay you normal rates to spend the foreseeable future in the pub." Well, I had to check my calendar to see if it wasn't April the first.
RR: Hang on a cotton-picking minute. While I've been slogging my arse off building the dungeons on that godforsaken castle, you've been getting paid a sound weekly wage to sit here getting pissed?
GG: Aye, that's about the shape of it. The beauty of it was that, after I'd got a week's worth of drinking under my belt, Gordon halved the wages of all the other workers. They're now earning as much as they did before Orange went under.
RR: So...your company has a worker shortage and one equally strong rival, and they've decided to cut wages on the basis that you're sitting getting sloshed?
GG: Apparently, yes.
RR: Well, bugger me. How do I get onto this scheme?
GG: I'm sorry, you can't. Not unless Olly Orange comes and sits down at the bar here. And the devilish irony is that when your two businesses form this oblique connection, suddenly Gordon will lose all the benefits of me sitting here.
RR: Hang on - isn't this how the Mexican economy actually works?
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Scott Lewis
United States Castle Rock Colorado
Dread Our Coming, Suffer Our Presence, Embrace Our Glory (Solonavi War Cry)
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I apologize if this has been put here, or something similar. This is true for most role-selection games but it just strikes me as funny.
The Baron : Prepare the fleets. We are shifting our strategy to Warfare! Our neighbors must pay.
Advisor : I'm sorry, your grace, but the peaceful Xxcha have already announced their intent for a Warfare strategy.
The Baron : Blast it all. In that case, maybe an olive branch would be better. Let's start working on a new plan for a Diplomacy strategy.
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Juan F. Santana Miralles
Spain seville Seville
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Great game, but has one rule that really upsets me. Atacking is mandatory even when you are holding a city and you have no options for victory

-Sir, we are holding Stalingrad, completely surrounden by the germans, and heavily outnumbered, what must we do?
-ATACK!!!
-But the odds are 1-5!
-I say ATACK!!!
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Cate
United States Milwaukee Wisconsin
No good deed goes unpunished.
Ring the bells that still can ring, Forget your perfect offering, There's a crack in everything, That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
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This is a kid's game so maybe it doesn't have to make sense but why is there a badger in my bedroom unpacking my suitcases?

A cat or dog or bunny - animals that we would actually let in our house - those I would understand.
On top of all this, it appears that this badger has an underwear obsession. Creepy! 
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Kenny VenOsdel
United States Saint Paul Minnesota
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Quote: The forest is filled with all sorts of Monsters. They watched and waited as you built your Castle and trained your soldiers, but now they’ve gathered their army and are marching out of the woods.
Monster: "Hmm what are those humans doing? Why it appears they are building a castle! This is perfect not only are the currently undefended, they are also distracted. Lets wait and see what they do next."
-Later-
Monster: "Now it appears they are training troops! So they must not have anyone to man the beautiful defensive towers they just built. Lets wait for a bit, this seems interesting."
-Later-
Monster: "Ahhh I thought so. The humans built a castle and manned it with highly trained soldiers! We should have seen this coming. Get em boys!"
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ACTUAL CONVERSATION.
Game Master: You still need to choose your Alignment.
Newbie Player: Okay, I'm gonna be Chaotic Good.
Game Master: Thieves can't be Chaotic Good.
Newbie Player: You told me Robin Hood was an example of Chaotic Good. He was a thief, wasn't he?
Other Experienced Player: Choose Lawful Neutral. Thieves can't be good, it's not allowed. LN is the most "good" alignment you're allowed.
Newbie Player (consults book): Lawful Neutral means someone who scrupulously obeys the laws of society without any other moral concerns?
GM & OEP together: Yes, exactly.
Newbie Player: By stealing, backstabbing, and breaking and entering?????
(This was actually the wrong version of D&D, but I can't find the correct one...)
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