Calvin & Hobbes quotes
Jack van Riel
Netherlands
Nijmegen
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The inventors of Calvinball deserve another geeklist. Here's some of their greatest quotes.
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David Winter
United Kingdom
Penyffordd
Chester
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Calvin: Mum i need a new plate
Calvin's Mum : Why Calvin?
Calvin: Someone's thrown up on this one
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27.
Board Game: IQ
[Average Rating:3.33 Unranked]
Lexingtonian
United States
Unspecified
Massachusetts
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"I'm so smart it's almost frightening. I must be a child progeny."
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28.
Board Game: Imagine
[Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
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My favourite strip of any sort, ever.
edit: Pictures are worth a thousand things
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Richard Irving
United States
Salinas
California
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While driving across a Bridge, Calvin notices the weight limit sign:
Calvin: Dad, how do they determine the weight limit for bridges?
Dad: Well, they keep driving larger and larger trucks over the bridge and when the bridge falls down, they weigh the last truck. And then they rebuild the same way afterwards.
Calvin: I thought it was something like that.
Mom: IF YOU DON'T KNOW, DON'T ANSWER HIM!!!!
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Russ Williams
Poland
Wrocław
Dolny Śląsk
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Hobbes: I guess if we get to have snacks, it would be OK to time travel. If they're good snacks, I mean.
Calvin: Great! Put on your vortex goggles.
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Michael Bachelor
United States
Washington
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My absolute favorite Calvin and Hobbes quote:
Calvin: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
Hobbes: "I'm not sure that man needs the help."
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Jaroslaw Kuczynski
Poland
Warsaw
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"Verbing weirds language"
Calvin... (25 Jan 1993)
(Would love to play Scrabble: Calvinball. On second thought nearly every Scrabble game turns into Calvinball during endgame  )
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Dean Rekich
United States
Lyndora
Pennsylvania
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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well SOMEbody's out to get me.
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Uisge Beatha
Scotland
http://www.thekanofoundation.com/
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Quite the finest cartoon strip of them all - still makes me laugh out loud - including the superb hammer, nails and coffe table strip - but Watterson also had some serious observations on life - this is a favourite ...
[Calvin is sunk deep in an armchair directly in front of the TV - declaiming ...]
"Graphic violence in the media.
Does it glamorise violence? Sure.
Does it desensitise us to violence? Of course.
Does it help us tolerate violence? You bet.
Does it stunt our empathy for our fellow beings? Heck yes."
Does it cause violence?
... Well, that's hard to prove."
The trick is to ask the right question".
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35.
Board Game: Sombrero
[Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
D Weimer
United States
Unspecified
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What fun is being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
-Hobbes
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S. Deniz Bucak
United States
Havertown
Pennsylvania
As Above, So Below
My books are forgeries. Nobody wrote them. - Philip K. Dick
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Whenever my kids look at their dinner plate and say "What is this !?!" I always reply "Monkey brains" (a Calvin's Mom quote.) They don't appreciate it.
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37.
Board Game: Lifetime
[Average Rating:5.19 Unranked]
Jan Ivanauskas
Germany
Siegen
Unspecified
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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My favorite strip (displayed on my PC-Screen at work) is:
(Calvin sitting on his desk - bored.)
Calvin: What on earth am i doing in here on this beautiful day?! This is the only life i´ve got!!
(Calvin running away.)
Teacher (carrying Calvin back to his desk): Next time, try a drink of water and a few deep breaths.
That´s exactly what i feel sometimes at work...
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Chris Page
United States
San Diego
California
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H: "Shouldn't we read the instructions?"
C: "Do I look like a sissy?"
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39.
Board Game: Explore!
[Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Joe Peterson
United States
Grover
Missouri
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"It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!" - Calvin
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Mike
United States
Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
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[Scene: Top of a hillside. Calvin and Hobbes reclining.]
[Panel 1]
Calvin: I wonder where we go when we die?
[Panel 2 - pondering]
[Panel 3]
Hobbes: Pittsburgh?
[Panel 4]
Calvin: You mean if we're good or if we're bad?
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Chris Page
United States
San Diego
California
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Calvin: "If you ask me, though, any game without push-ups, hits, burns or noogies is a sissy game."
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Bill Gallagher
United States
California
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Calvin: The arts are under attack! Freedom of expression is being squelched! The authorities are trying to silence any view contrary to their own!
Hobbes: What does your teacher object to about dinosaurs?
Calvin: Mostly my drawing them during math.
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Joseph LaClair
United States
Watertown
New York
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[Teacher] "All right class, who would like to give his book report first?"
"Calvin, how about you?"
"Calvin?"
"Calvin?"
[Calvin] "Spaceman Spiff cooly draws his death ray blaster."
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Richard G
United States
Unspecified
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Calvin: ...Some of us are too smart for the class.
Susie: Oh, right. You're too smart.
Calvin: Believe it, lady. You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well mine are even worse!
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Richard G
United States
Unspecified
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"But I'm not lying! My tiger drew it! Do you think I could draw something that good myself??"
-Calvin
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Am I having fun yet?
United States
Wisconsin
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My favorites are the ones were Calvin builds the snowmen, but they are hard to quote. Here's one I love:
"You can tell this is a great club because we always get in trouble for following our charter."
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Am I having fun yet?
United States
Wisconsin
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Watterson had a handle on how a kid thinks:
Calvin (searching through his drawer): Oh no, Oh no! Where are my cartoon underpants?
Mom: In the laundry. Wear something else.
Calvin: RRRRGGHHH! I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals.
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I'm putting all the houses and hotels on Baltic, where you just landed. You owe me $250,000-Hobbes
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Dave Mattingly
United States
Old Forge
Pennsylvania
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"I kind of resent the manufacturer's implicit assumption that this would
amuse me."
- Calvin
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Bob Blaser
United States
Wildwood
Missouri
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Calvin (at his desk in school pretending he's Spaceman Spiff)
Susie D.: (taking a test in the seat behind him) "Psst! Calviin, what is the capital of Poland?"
Calvin: (firing the lasors) "Krakow! Krakow!"
Susie D.: "Thanks!"
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I LOVE Calvin and Hobbs!
Might be why my oldest son's name is Calvin!
Excellent thread!
Thanks!
Bob
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Gloucester
Anderson
Indiana
http://www.transmogrifier.org/
"Actually, they're kinda bland till you scoop sugar on them."
Speaking of, whenever we play a game where u trade something in for something else, we refer to it as transmogrification.
Ironically, "transmogrification" passes firefox's spell checker, but "anime" does not. (neither does "firefox"
Linköping
http://www.transmogrifier.org/
"Actually, they're kinda bland till you scoop sugar on them."
Speaking of, whenever we play a game where u trade something in for something else, we refer to it as transmogrification.
Peter Englund, professional historian and member of the Swedish Academy, insists on using "transmogrify" (Sw. transmogrifiera) in his works, to the despair of certain reviewers.
California
Bloom County
Get Fuzzy