$10.00
I paid to see this? The worst films you've seen at the cinema.
Simon Crowe
United Kingdom
Sheffield
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I've never walked out of a film at the cinema, but it's been close a few times. Last night was no exception, and prompted me to create this Geeklist.

So which films have you wasted your heard-earned cash to go see?

Which movie disasters were 2 or more hours of your life you'll never get back?

What cinematic nightmares had you falling asleep in the cinema seats?




(PS: My first Geeklist! How exciting)
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76. Board Game: Dirty Dancing: the Boardgame [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
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United States
Parker
Colorado
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Dirty Dancing

I..... hate.....this..... MOVIE!!!!! angry

Every time I hear that "Time of My Life" song I want to punch a bunny.
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77. Board Game: Hotel Tycoon [Average Rating:5.40 Overall Rank:10762]
Someone from ex:el
Belgium
Brussels
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Four Rooms

We were still young and very excited about the cast. I mean, com'on, it's got Bruce Willis (not a reference for me anymore ), Madonna, Tarantino, tim roth, ....

The film is actually four short movies taking place in a hotel somewhere with almost no connection between the scenes (we knew that before seeing it)... It's just that each story was so ridiculous (i a not funny way)

The only thing that prevented us from leaving was that we'd hope the next short film would at least be slightly more interesting than the last. Instead, it was just ridiculous all the way unitl the end. Bleh !
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78. Board Game: Twin Peaks Murder Mystery Game [Average Rating:4.17 Unranked]
J.L. Robert
United States
Sherman Oaks
California
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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

You have to be a total Twin Peaks fanatic to even have a chance at enjoying this one. Very disjunct, even for a David Lynch film.

Not even Moira Kelly's topless moment could save this one!
 
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79. Board Game: Mr. Bean The Game [Average Rating:4.82 Unranked]
Steph Mabie
United States
Oxford
Georgia
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Bean (1997)



Being fans of Mr. Bean the TV show, several friends and I went to see this movie when it came out. The TV show, for those who haven't seen it, is almost exclusively pantomime, and depends heavily on the physical comedy of Rowan Atkinson, portraying the at times childlike, at other times highly inventive, Mr Bean. Often times awkward, it can be reasonably intelligent comedy as well, as small things early on can have an unexpected domino effect or have humorous results later on.

Bean, the movie, has none of this. Instead, this movie was essentially a remake of What About Bob?, without any of the charm or wit. Any resemblance to the TV show is purely coincidental. 90 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Sadly, I know several other people whose first experience with Mr Bean was the movie, and convincing them to give the TV show a chance was quite difficult. Thank God for DVD sets.

(I will add an admission that I did like Mr. Bean's Holiday, believing that it was often much closer to the spirit of the TV show. I know I'm probably in the minority there. But that's how it goes.)
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80. Board Game: Silent War [Average Rating:7.38 Overall Rank:1180]
Elwyn Darden
United States
Richmond
Virginia
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Down Periscope worse than I could imagine. I knew it would be bad, but I like Kelsey Grammer and thought there might be enough jokes in it if I ignored the plot. There weren't.

I have long believed that the best editors in Hollywood are the ones who cobble together the 30-second and 1-minute television spots. In this case, the 30-second commercial contained every laugh in the movie save one, and that one strangely enough was not in the 1-minute commercial.

Maybe they never had a 1-minute commerical, because there is no way you could stretch 30 seconds of material into one-minute without obvious, desperate padding.


Looks like a good game though.
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81. Board Game: The Game of Broken Arrow [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Nevin Ball
United States
Dallas
Texas
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Broken Arrow

I'm not surprised that this namesake game has no pictures, ratings, or comments. The movie was simply awful! It just didn't click with me. The plot was too predicable, the characters too shallow, and John Travolta's villian was too campy. I groaned at the scene when he was walking toward Christian Slater in slow motion with lame western music playing in the background.
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82. Board Game: Army of Zero [Average Rating:5.15 Unranked]
Joshua Kenney
United States
North Haledon
NJ
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Soldier. Any time I want to win an argument about films with a friend of mine, I remind him that he made me see this movie. It did have a pretty bad-ass fist fight when the two guys were swinging from chains, though.

Runners up include She's All That, Peter Pan (the new one), Red Planet (or Mission to Mars. Whichever has the dude living in a tent/greenhouse on the surface of Mars). Funnily enough, the same friend dragged me to all of these movies.

He's not allowed to pick movies anymore.
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83. Board Game: Ninja Burger [Average Rating:5.69 Overall Rank:5666]
J.L. Robert
United States
Sherman Oaks
California
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Years ago, I went with a friend to the theater. We were at the counter trying to decide which movie to see.

I suggesed we go see Scream. I had heard that it was doing very well, and had some pretty good reviews.

My friend hemmed and hawed, because it had been out for a while, and he wanted to see something more recent. I allowed him to pick.

We wound up watching Beverly Hills Ninja.

His movie-choosing priveleges have been permanently revoked.
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84. Board Game: The 6 Days of Glory [Average Rating:6.75 Overall Rank:3972]
The Galaxy is Just Packed!
United States
Madison
Wisconsin
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Six Days Seven Nights


My wife and I were chatting that we are too selective in the movies we go see. We should just pick a movie and go see it. So we opened up the paper and saw this movie. Harrison Ford? Can't be that bad. Whoooo.

It had David Schwimmer in it. Oh oh. And then the Ford character's girlfriend comes jigglig onto the screen, it was all over. Wha a piece of crap.

But that's not the worst one we paid money for. We went out with another coule and they wanted to see this pile of crap:

Rising Sun


We never made those mistakes again.
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85. Board Game: The Seven Years War [Average Rating:6.69 Overall Rank:5930]
John Snell
United States
Rexburg
Idaho
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Seven Years in Tibet

This was the longest, most boring movie I have ever sat through. They should have divided it into two movies "3.5 Years in Tibet" and "The Other 3.5 Years in Tibet". What made it even worse is that I went to an 11:00 pm showing. Did I mention that the movie was long?
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86. Board Game: LovePigs (Porcellini) [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:6750]
Chuck Uherske
United States
Rockville
Maryland
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Love, Actually

I was genuinely scarred by this film. It angered me so much that the mere mention of its title sends me into paroxysms of rage years later.

The fact that so many people seem to regard this film as a cute romantic comedy enrages me all the more, and makes me question whether I belong to the same species as those I walk among.

My problem is articulating succinctly how and why I hated this film. Every time I try to do it, I go off on a rampage that lasts for pages (if writing) or minutes (if speaking.) The film is constructed from several simultaneous subplots, each of them insulting and/or offensive.

Some of the subplots were simply one unfunny joke repeated at nauseum every time that they were returned to ("A British geek thinks American girls will love his British accent!" "Porn stand-ins who are shy!")

Several of the subplots suggested that romance consists of women pining for the men they work for. Several involved offensive fat jokes. None of them developed real or meaningful relationships, but created a caricature of romance with syrupy music and contrived scenes.

Not sure which subplot annoyed me the most; probably the one in which Colin Firth ends up proposing in a restaurant, just because every second of that scene was trite and contrived beyond reason (mind you, Colin has barely spoken two words to the supposed love of his life until that moment). Hugh Grant as the British PM was a close second, though (the UK lets big bad America push them around, don't ya know, until President Billy Bob Thornton puts the moves on Hugh Grant's housekeeper, which inspires Hugh to tell off the US at a press conference -- did adults write this crap, really?) Then, too, the subplot that makes a romantic device of stalking Keira Knightley with a videocamera is pretty horrid as well.

I hated this film so much that I will instantly lose all respect for those fellow filmgoers who say they liked it. Unfair? Subjective? Undoubtedly, but I found it an abomination, an offense, an insult! So there, Richard Cutis, manipulative hack!
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87. Board Game: Cursed Earth Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
On Monday mornings, I'm dedicated to the proposition that All Men are created jerks.
United States
Stratford
Connecticut
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The Late Great Planet Earth

This was one of those pseudo-documentaries that were popular back in the late 70s, following on the heels of Chariots of the Gods.

It was on that day that my friend and I invented the concept for Mystery Science Theater 3000, namely heckling the film from the back row. The people around us chuckled along.

Best Brains owes me royalties, if I can only prove they read my mind.
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88. Board Game: Sin City [Average Rating:4.89 Overall Rank:10108]
David McKenna
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Sin City

I realise I'll probably be in the minority here, but if we're talking about worst films you've ever paid to see (as opposed to worst film you've ever seen), this would probably have to be near the top for me.

It's the only film I've ever gone to see where most of my friends have walked out before it's actually over - I (somehow) managed to make it right through to the end. Proof - if proof was needed - that looks or even having big stars aren't everything; for some reason it just didn't do it for me.

I'm just glad it didn't put me off going to see the infinitely better 300.
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89. Board Game: Rocky [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
My Baloney
United States
hamburg
New York
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Rocky 5

1 thru 4 were great !!
But number 5 just wasn't believable!! ha ha

a close second would be Legends of the Fall
I let my girlfriend talk me into going to see that..
and I couldn't stop laughing at the really bad acting
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90. Board Game: The Mighty Hercules Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Bobby Warren
United States
Glendale
Arizona
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Hercules

Lou Ferrigno's attempt at becoming a big screen star took only a few minutes to drive my friends out of the theater to see another movie. They made the decision when a giant hand of Zeus extended out from a waterfall to stop the baby Hercules from plunging over it.

The acting was bad. The story was bad. The effects were terrible, even for a low-budget movie in the early 1980s.

It was too bad, because everything I've ever heard about Ferrigno indicates he is a good guy.
 
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91. Board Game: Dragonslayer [Average Rating:5.14 Overall Rank:9533]
Tim Goose
United Kingdom
Hitchin
Hertfordshire
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Not even close, guys, not even close.

What can I say? I was young(ish), it was the 80's and Dungeons and Dragons was all the rage. Out comes a film, obviously D&D in 35mm. We had to go and see it!

That film was "Hawk the Slayer", starring (and I use the word advisedly) Jack Palance. Time, therapy and mind-altering drugs have finally erased most of the horror from my mind, but I clearly remember leaving the cinema (yes, we made it to the end) wondering what precisely it was that we'd just watched.

"Hawk the Slayer" nearly gets into the 'so bad it's good' category. If you can find it on DVD grab it and watch. But you'll only do it the once!
 
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92. Board Game: Monopoly: Star Wars Episode 1 [Average Rating:5.26 Overall Rank:10770]
Jeff Wells
United States
Centralia
Missouri
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Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

I saw Star Wars in the theater when I was 12. From that moment on I was hooked. When my wife and I found out this one was coming out, we couldn't wait. Then,

A mystical, unexplainable 'force' becomes detectable in a lab

I found out the coolest movie villian of all time started out as a sniveling bratty kid

Jar Jar Binks

The acting was horrible for the most part...you could almost tell there were guys right off-camera with cue cards. By the time of the climactic battle, I really didn't care who won, as long as the movie ended.

Thanks, George, for ruining my childhood fantasies.
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93. Board Game: Flash [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Jeff Wells
United States
Centralia
Missouri
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Flashdance

A buddy and I went to see this when we were in High School, figuring it would be about something else. It turns out it was about a girl that wanted to be in the ballet! Big deal! I wanted to see the flash dance!
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94. Board Game: Maske [Average Rating:5.62 Unranked]
Fritz Schwartz
United States
Alameda
California
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I can't believe that "Son of Mask" isn't on this list!!! (If it is, then I might just have a mental block against seeing those nine letters in that arrangement.) Anyone with young kids/grandkids knows that for every classic Disney/Pixar release there are dozens of intolerable kid movies foisted on us every year. Whatever qualities the original "Mask" might have possessed had totally disappeared when this turkey "starring" Jaime Kennedy arrived to pollute movie screens world-wide. I swear that parts of this movie must have been edited by throwing strips of film up in the air and splicing them together where they fell. This is just the worst of a long list. The problem with taking kids to the movies is that you can't walk out because you're the one with the car keys and they're the ones who want to stay!!

That still doesn't explain why I didn't walk out of "Halloween 3" (not a single thing to tie it to the first two Halloween movies except the producers' greed), "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" (loved the original "Rolling Stone" series by Hunter S. Thompson, most of the cast and most of Terry Gilliam's movies, but I can't think of a movie that I actively hated while I watched it more than that one), "Heavy Traffic", etc, etc. I think the only reason I sat through the last two was because I wanted to see the other movie of a double feature. Either I reviewed "Halloween 3" for my college newspaper or there was a torrential rain outside, because there was no excuse to sit through that tripe.
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95. Board Game: The Messenger [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Steve B.
United States
Southern
New Jersey
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The Messenger was my worst that I paid for (that I can recall, anyway...)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151137/

Director Luc Besson could have dropped steamy load into a film canister and I would have rather watched that instead.
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96. Board Game: Troy [Average Rating:6.39 Unranked]
Second in a one horse race
United Kingdom
Bloxham
Oxon
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What a stinker!

When I saw it, pensioners were walking out of their concessions - and they'll watch Victor Mature in four back-to-back travesties on TCM, then do the same tomorrow.

I could tell you what I think is wrong with this piece of crap, but life's too short.


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97. Board Game: Big Top [Average Rating:5.72 Overall Rank:7807]
Second in a one horse race
United Kingdom
Bloxham
Oxon
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Big Top Pee-Wee

Bad performances, low production values and poor effects wrapped up in some Paul Reubens nonsense. All this and it stars Penelope Ann Miller.

NO SAVING GRACES
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98. Board Game: Canadaopoly [Average Rating:4.63 Unranked]
Scott Gillispie
United States
Chamblee
Georgia
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Exotica

So I see a lot of movies condemned on here just for being a little disappointing, or not terribly funny, or just good in places, etc. That's not good enough. I saw Superman IV in the theater - it was actually good for the two scenes with Gene Hackman. Same thing with Rude Awakening and the one scene with Buck Henry. Not enough to make a list like this.

How about a movie with no suspense, no plot (certainly no actual ending to the movie), no likable (or even explicable) characters, featuring a stripper and largely set in a strip club, but no redeeming nudity; but the DJ just says "what is it about a schoolgirl?" while playing the Leonard Cohen song "Everybody Knows" over and over again...I think there was a subplot about a gay man running a pet store; I may be misremembering, but I don't think so - the awfulness of this movie has burned it into my soul.

Did I mention that it's by an incomprehensibly critically acclaimed director, and for some reason Roger Ebert (who I generally trust the reviews of) gives it four stars. ("It is a movie about people whose lives, once we understand them, reveal a need and urgency that only these mysteries can satisfy.")? Roger must have entered the wrong theater by mistake. Or perhaps I did.



 
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99. Board Game: Kellogg's World's Champions Cereal League [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
JB Lawton
United States
Dublin
Ohio
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This space for rent
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Road to Wellville

Technically, this doesn't belong on this list because I didn't pay to see it. All of us in the theatre had free tickets as a sneak preview. But they stole two hours of my life with this dreck.

It shouldn't have been bad. It was based on a critically-acclaimed novel by T.C. Boyle. It had a reputable director in Alan Parker, and a marquee-load of quality actors (Anthony Hopkins and Matthew Broderick, to name two).

But...it sucked!

Either someone went berserk in the editing room, and mistakenly spliced together all of outtakes, or someone had a huge file of blackmail-quality pictures when he shopped this script around.

And yet...my friend and I stayed through the entire thing, convinced that is was somehow going to get better.

It never did.

I have never seen a theatre empty so fast the moment the closing credits began.
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100. Board Game: Combat Tank Game [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Jennifer
United States
Michigan
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Tank Girl was by far the worst movie ever made. Period.
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