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No, really, this armor will TOTALLY protect me from...uhhh...hmmm...
Xander Fulton
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I don't really plan this list as a a debate of whether this style of art direction is sexist or not, whether it helps or harms women gamer's interest in the hobby, or whatnot.

Merely...why do so many games in this genre (dungeon crawl or RPG boardgame in a fantasty setting, basically) take the "bare skin must provide some combat modifier" of art direction?



And...are there any dungeoncrawl/rpg/fantasy games that DON'T feature one or more characters in dress that is completely ridiculous for the role they are identified for in the game?
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1. Board Game: Tomb [Average Rating:6.45 Overall Rank:1147]
Xander Fulton
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'Fighter'? Really? You are fighting in that? You think it'll all...well...stay in place?

Huh.

If she can pull THAT off, maybe she's more dangerous than she looks... robot
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David Wiens
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She's using distraction to full effect. wow
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:47 am
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Richard Lea
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I hear somewhere of a an army that went into battle armored from the waist up, and naked from waist down?


Well I suppose this tactic might distract the enemy. Their laughter might render them vulnerable.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:12 pm
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Stephen Cappello
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But she's also a Cleric, and everyone knows the healing power of cleavage.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:07 am
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Dennis Foos
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Actually the Celts used to go into battle butt naked, sometimes with just a belt holding their scabbard. Pretty unsightly. I have some full color osprey books with artists renditions of this. Believe me, If I was fighting them, I'd want the fight to be over as soon as possible so I wouldn't have to keep seeing their junk. Now if they sent their women out to fight like that, it'd be a different story.
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:51 pm
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Jon Anderson
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Well, I certainly would like to see her 'pull that off'
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:08 pm
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2. Board Game: Return of the Heroes [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:844]
Xander Fulton
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No, we're cool, here. It's well known that enemy archers never shoot at thighs. Or chests. Or midsections.

Actually, they are really just aiming for the shiny parts.

So...realistically, we are golden, here, right?
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Stefano Castelli
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Well, she is short...
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:44 pm
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John Brock
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But no, it's okay, see, because she's doing the crouching thing. And if you just crouch down enough, then the big shield can protect both the thighs and the chest -- as well as the midsection, of course.

Now about those leg cramps from trying to maneuver while crouched down for the whole battle...

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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:10 am
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Dennis Foos
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Hey, it worked for the guys in 300...
lol
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:47 pm
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Junior McSpiffy
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Quote:
Actually, they are really just aiming for the shiny parts.


I know they're the parts I'm aiming for.
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  • Posted Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:08 pm
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Jim Brown
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dfoos wrote:
Hey, it worked for the guys in 300...
lol


Only until they all died...
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  • Posted Tue Feb 9, 2010 12:03 am
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3. Board Game: Runebound (second edition) [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:328]
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Useful armor - will TOTALLY protect you from...?overheating?
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Jeff Inks
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But she has remarkable...attributes...obviously better in a fight, no need of much armour.


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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:14 am
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Daryl Wilks
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We just call her "Boob Chick".
Seriously, how are those not going to get lopped off?
And there goes her diplomacy bonus...
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:22 pm
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Rob Rob
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Apparently she uses them for "balance"... blush
  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:33 pm
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Yeah, there's the armor/lack-thereof thing, and the ridiculous-body-proportions/aversion-to-gravity thing.

But what really gets me here is the positioning. My daughter (now age 7) loves Descent and would only play as Red Scorpion for at least a year. The thing I kept coming back to was: "Oh, come on -- how much can she slay while remaining poised on one leg?"

(For proof, as because I happen to have the link handy, here's a pic of my little one not quite a year ago after a Descent game. Yep, that's Red Scorpion held boldly aloft.)



Thank you, Descent make-your-own-hero function!
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:20 am
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Dennis Foos
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You guys have it all wrong, its not armor, they are chest flails, a dangerous weapon when she begins her one legged spin. anyone within 2 ft radius takes damage.
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  • Edited Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:55 pm
  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:55 pm
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4. Board Game: Descent: Journeys in the Dark [Average Rating:7.54 Overall Rank:79]
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Hey you in the top left!

I feel I must compliment you! Both on your remarkably modest AND EFFECTIVE armor, as well as unquestionably believable proportions!
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Rob Rob
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Errr, it looks like she may not be wearing much below the bustier? blush
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:40 pm
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Dennis Foos
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Its flesh colored armor not giant child bearing hips...
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:57 pm
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D- Rezzed
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She's an archer/rogue with an armour value of 1, those ginormous metal shoulderpads are probably the most ridicolous part of her outfit.
 
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  • Posted Sat Sep 12, 2009 1:05 pm
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5. Board Game: Dungeon Twister: Paladins & Dragons [Average Rating:7.56 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.56 Unranked]
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#2 from the left on the bottom is convincingly well protected from the combat she'd be sure to run into as a "weapon master" (?maybe it would have been a better idea to just go for "weapon apprentice" so you could level up once or twice in "armor wearing"? Just throwing it out there... )
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Hubert Figuière
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And she is not stronger than the warrior.
 
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 1:09 am
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Rob Rob
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In that game's world, "Illusionist" must be another way of saying "Exotic Dancer." goo
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:43 pm
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6. Board Game: Confrontation [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:1351]
Xander Fulton
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So...okay, I get it. It's a parallel to our 'Dark Ages'. Armor isn't cheap, and everyone is poor. Fine.

But, seriously, if you have that much armor just lying around to basically plate half your HORSE with it, maybe you might want to...oh...I dunno...finish covering your own body? Maybe? Just an idea...
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Ricardo Urdinaran
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I actually have the miniatures of the Red Lioness on foot and horseback. I painted them and let me tell ya... from the back, she's wearing a thong!
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:35 am
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Darren Copple
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Its common knowledge that women only sweat thru their abdomen and upper thigh/hip/pelvis region. Thus, they must leave those portions of their anatomy unarmored or they would overheat in combat.

Unfortunate but true.

shake
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:47 am
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7. Board Game: Rome At War III: Queen of the Celts [Average Rating:6.86 Overall Rank:3997]
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It's not just the fantasy games. The historicals have similar inclinations, it seems. Queen Boudicca doesn't have any armour here, unless you count tattoos as spiritual protection.
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Wulf Corbett
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There would be nothing very peculiar in this, however - Celtic warriors frequently wore no armour, and sometimes wore nothing at all (woad being optional).

Incidentally, it appears that woad actually has an antiseptic and painkilling effect, so there is some sense to this!
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:09 am
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Wulf Corbett
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lindsayt wrote:
Boudicca?

She looks more like Lady Godiva.

Lady Godiva should be so lucky...

latest thinking is that Godiva rode 'naked' of the marks of nobility, to shame her husband by appearing as one of the peasantry. He, naturally, forbade anyone to look at this.
 
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:20 pm
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Neil Whyman
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sikeospi wrote:
I believe that they issued a G-rated version of this box cover too...

Yes they did!

 
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  • Posted Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:32 pm
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Jim "git yer stinkin' themes offa my mechanic" Puccio
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nwhyman wrote:
sikeospi wrote:
I believe that they issued a G-rated version of this box cover too...

Yes they did!


An abomination! Have these people no shame?
 
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  • Posted Sat May 30, 2009 8:15 pm
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Wulf Corbett
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Very clearly phallic. shake
 
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  • Posted Sat May 30, 2009 8:23 pm
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8. Board Game: Prophecy [Average Rating:6.81 Overall Rank:621]
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Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Forest Camp

Hi, my name is Darkbrand, and I'm a spellblade.

My hobbies include getting sliced with any weapon in my vicinity, to include near arrow misses; and also being cut by branches, sharp underbrush, and thorns or prickers.

My real passion, however, is for getting pneumonia and expiring.
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Bruce EIDELVEIN
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But look: she's experienced, she's got two balls.
 
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  • Posted Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:51 am
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9. Board Game: Warriors of God [Average Rating:7.43 Overall Rank:412]
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Quote:
And...are there any dungeoncrawl/rpg/fantasy games that DON'T feature one or more characters in dress that is completely ridiculous for the role they are identified for in the game?

Probably not, but sometimes they get it right in a historical game.
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Xander Fulton
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Absolutely the point I'd make!

Why can't someone make a bog-standard (rules and gameplay-wise) fantasy RPG or dungeon-crawl using weapons and armor having historic precedent. Just because the setting is fiction doesn't mean you have to go completely crazy-into-the-weeds making up EVERYTHING!

I mean, we know of many tales that amount to what we identify as a 'dungeon crawl' from this period - 'Beowulf', certainly, the most famous. I somehow doubt when this tale was told that everyone was envisioning all participants being 3/4 exposed.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:26 am
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Cpl. Sadler 8-0
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Despite my smartassed answer, it would be refreshing to see warriors wearing any kind of battle dress instead of stripper clothes.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:03 am
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XanderF wrote:
Why can't someone make a bog-standard (rules and gameplay-wise) fantasy RPG or dungeon-crawl using weapons and armor having historic precedent.

They did. It was called RuneQuest.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:10 pm
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Robert Rossney
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While we're at it, this realistic fantasy games should include rules for wound sepsis, to name one of the more significant elements of medieval combat that gets abstracted away.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 pm
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UhhhClem wrote:
While we're at it, this realistic fantasy games should include rules for wound sepsis, to name one of the more significant elements of medieval combat that gets abstracted away.


It actually should, really.

I definitely think the 'dungeon crawl' genre IS interesting, but it could use a lot of additional detail to make it feel more believable, at the same time as losing some unnecessary nonsense.

More believable damage from weapons (seriously, I know everyone loves an RPG having a 'rich combat system', but, no, you AREN'T going to survive more than 3 or 4 'attacks' from a trained soldier at close range with a mace no matter how well you dodge or are armored), more believable accounting for wounds and supply situation, etc.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:44 am
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10. Board Game: Conan Collectible Card Game [Average Rating:7.22 Overall Rank:3064]
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The original in less is more in armor.
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Shhh. People don't like you to point out things like this. It ruins their "message", or whatever it is they're trying to get across.

That's why they ignore Conan and Tarzan and the like...

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the Romans, the Celts and such didn't wear heavy leg armor (see higher in the list). As a matter of fact, there was only a very short period where full armor was in play.

But like I said, shhhh.ninja
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:41 am
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Robrob wrote:
...Full armor (in Europe) expired with the advent of gunpowder.

Definitely not "advent", and I don't think it's really accurate to say gunpowder made full armor obsolete either.
 
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  • Edited Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:42 pm
  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:42 pm
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Wendell
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Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
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everlong205 wrote:
Conan's skin is as tough as leather naturally, so he automatically is considered armored even while nude.


Yep. "Conan" is ancient Cimmerian for "Chuck Norris."
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:29 pm
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MaximumPain wrote:
If one were to read the books one would find that Conan always wears the best armor he could acquire. Towards the end when he was the King of Aqualonia he wore full plate armor as he charged the Nemidian lines.


Yeah, Conan had this strange habit early in his career of constantly losing his armor and his weapon and having to aquire more. So, he ran around half naked a lot.

Course, he got the chicks, too.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:18 am
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feldmafx wrote:

Yeah, Conan had this strange habit early in his career of constantly losing his armor and his weapon and having to aquire more. So, he ran around half naked a lot.

Course, he got the chicks, too.


That works for me too... cool

...okay, not really.

I get the point, though, that strategically placed bits of armor is silly, even in a fantasy setting.
 
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:59 am
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11. Board Game: Swords & Sorcery [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:2260]
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You killed a DRAGON wearing THAT? You must be bad-ass. And your boyfriend, too - HE'S underprotected as well.

What I've always wondered about this cover is, what has them surrounded after they've killed a dragon?
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William Wood
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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Big dragon, big fleas... laugh
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:31 am
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Wulf Corbett
Scotland
Shotts
Lanarkshire
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XanderF wrote:
mst3k4ever wrote:
Big dragon, big fleas... laugh

Wasn't that the premise of 'Cloverfield'?

OK, so with that comment I finally ordered a copy from Amazon... Used, of course...
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:52 pm
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Jeff Inks
United States
Fayetteville
North Carolina
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everlong205 wrote:
What they lack in armor they make up for in shining lightsabers.


those are magic swords, +1, +5 vs dragons. they emit light to 15' radius.
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:05 pm
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Dennis Foos
United States
Everett
Washington
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She looks like Jane Fonda in one of her workout videos from the 80's
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:04 pm
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United Kingdom
Poole
Dorset
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wifwendell wrote:
What I've always wondered about this cover is, what has them surrounded after they've killed a dragon?


Its mum and dad.
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  • Posted Sat May 30, 2009 2:23 pm
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12. Board Game: Saint Seiya Cardgame Collection [Average Rating:5.67 Unranked]
Stefano Castelli
Italy
Rome
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This list could NOT be complete without Saint Seiya!
 
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Francisco
Canada
Woodbridge
Ontario
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Well in all fairness, these fights are mystical, and with energy fields. We can argue that their armor generates a protective field powered by their "cosmo".

OTOH towards the end of the series they start sporting some bad ass version of their armor that completely covers them from head to toe and even have wings!

My astonishment comes when they have absolutely no armor AT ALL and they survive these crushing attacks that makes them leave imprints on columns and grooves on the floor. I mean damn! All knights must have adamantium instead of calcium for bones!!
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:27 pm
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13. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.55 Overall Rank:76]
Jim O'Neill (Established 1949)
Scotland
Motherwell
I aten't dead yet...
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Who needs armour, anyway?
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Kris Miller
United States
Lick Observatory
California
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No armor? Fine. Just please, please put on at least a loincloth.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:23 am
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William Hostman
United States
Eagle River
Alaska
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Gaming in Greater Anchorage area, Alaska since 1978. Looking for Indy-willing RPG players in Eagle River (or willing to drive to Eagle River). Geekmail me if interested.
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Yes, this really is what I looked like when I uploaded that avatar. Not that it's quite current anymore.
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The longarm and the red cross on the same soldier violate the Geneva convention.

At least according to my buddy's books from when he went through the army medic training in the late 1980's.
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 1:42 am
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Dan
Canada

Alberta
Yeah... I see what you did there.
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Probably borrowed someone's assault rifle for the pic.

Hmmm... she "borrowed" an assault rifle... That's only something you can say in the army.
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  • Edited Mon Mar 2, 2009 4:35 pm
  • Posted Mon Mar 2, 2009 4:34 pm
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Harvester of Eyes.
United States
Louisville
Kentucky
My demeanor was meaner.
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Whew. Without my glasses, I didn't recognize that was her helmet. I thought she had a big... I mean, I thought she had back.
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  • Posted Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:51 pm
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Darel Robinson
United Kingdom

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By the slight crook in her index finger, it appears she may have her finger on the trigger. Brave person taking that photo.

As to the red cross and the rifle, does the cross just denote that she's a medic rather than a neutral/non-combatant ?
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  • Posted Mon Nov 15, 2010 9:57 am
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14. Board Game: All Things Zombie: The Boardgame [Average Rating:6.42 Overall Rank:1856]
Dan
Canada

Alberta
Yeah... I see what you did there.
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Uh... Short-sleeves? Really?

...

The zombies are still out there, and they bite!

Shouldn't you put on a sweater or two?
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Barry Kendall
United States
Lebanon
Pennsylvania
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No sleeves means less for zombies to grab and hold on to.

Apparently "shirttails" are also dangerous to have around zombies.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:25 am
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Dan
Canada

Alberta
Yeah... I see what you did there.
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Least she cut her hair short.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:59 pm
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Dennis Foos
United States
Everett
Washington
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Is that a really tiny sweater or is she wearing her bra on the outside?
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:07 pm
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Jim O'Neill (Established 1949)
Scotland
Motherwell
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dfoos wrote:
Is that a really tiny sweater or is she wearing her bra on the outside?


If Superman can do it with his briefs...
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 8:50 pm
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Dan
Canada

Alberta
Yeah... I see what you did there.
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Sports bras are mandatory if you're running from the undead.
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  • Posted Mon Mar 2, 2009 4:36 pm
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Anthony Inskeep
United States

Ohio
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You can't see her feet in that picture, but she is also wearing tennis shoes. I think I'd look for some big leather boots, to frustrate those little ankle-biter zombies.
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  • Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:00 pm
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15. Board Game: Exalted: War for the Throne [Average Rating:5.90 Overall Rank:5224]
Marc-Andre Blanchet
Canada
Sherbrooke
Quebec
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The Dragon Blooded are numerous but not as powerful as the other powers of the Exalted verse. They also feature fully armored females. Shock!
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Francisco
Canada
Woodbridge
Ontario
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She looks like a Gold Saint from Saint Seiya...
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:31 pm
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Dennis Foos
United States
Everett
Washington
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With GIANT meat cleavers...
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:09 pm
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Brad "What do you mean "Double Skulls" again?!" Redfield
United Kingdom
Under a DVD Collection, Scarborough
North Yorkshire
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With the Red hair she reminds me of Titania from the Fire Emblem computer game series- she always sports full plate mail. goo
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  • Posted Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:48 pm
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16. Board Game: Lost Worlds [Average Rating:6.45 Overall Rank:1779]
Seth Owen
United States
Norwich
Connecticut
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There's the famous "Chainmail Girl." I don't think the armor stops much, but she probably distracts her male opponents pretty well.
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Drew Ames
United States
Harrisburg
Pennsylvania
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At least she has real proportions.

Of course, as a real person, she's got an edge over the illustrated type.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:02 am
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17. Board Game: Dark Blades [Average Rating:6.64 Overall Rank:4203]
Markus Pausch
Germany
Hamburg
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I always found that skintight chainmail fascinating...I mean how can this offer any protection...must be very cold too...
 
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Dan Silverman
United States
Waltham
Massachusetts
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Actually, chainmail gets really hot. Like, uncomfortably so.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:20 pm
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Wulf Corbett
Scotland
Shotts
Lanarkshire
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silvergoose wrote:
Actually, chainmail gets really hot. Like, uncomfortably so.

Starts cold & warms up the longer you wear it. It's the ultimate in string vests

And even that thin it would take the edge off a cutting blow, although it would do nothing to stop the blunt force.
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  • Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:02 pm
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Francisco
Canada
Woodbridge
Ontario
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Wulf Corbett wrote:
silvergoose wrote:
Actually, chainmail gets really hot. Like, uncomfortably so.

Starts cold & warms up the longer you wear it. It's the ultimate in string vests

And even that thin it would take the edge off a cutting blow, although it would do nothing to stop the blunt force.


Well if you're Frodo and your chainmail is made of Mithril...I'm pretty sure it can stop anything...but you should still wear it all over the place...
 
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:33 pm
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18. Board Game: Star Munchkin [Average Rating:6.25 Overall Rank:1464]
Greg Jones
United States

Washington
Sorry, I can't find a picture. Star Munchkin has a +1 armor called "Strategically Placed Ribbons" that parodies the subject of this list.
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19. Board Game: Queen's Blade [Average Rating:6.53 Unranked]
 
Taylor Liss
United States
Quincy
Massachusetts
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This one came to mind.
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Ryan McGuire
United States
South Euclid
Ohio
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Pretty much the whole Queen's Blade series is included here. And why do these young ladies always seem to fall so that their underwear is showing? Hmmm...
 
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  • Posted Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:09 pm
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Edward Philippi
United States
Chico
California
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Good luck on our part?
 
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  • Posted Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:38 pm
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20. Board Game: Defenders of the Realm [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:145]
John Cobb
United States
Conway
Arkansas
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Apparently she belongs to the little known clerical order known as the Kneeling To Give You a better View of My Cleavage Sisterhood. This order considers misdirection to be the best armor as they crush opponent's kneecaps.
 
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21. Board Game: Defenders of the Realm [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:145]
John Cobb
United States
Conway
Arkansas
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The sorceress has no need of armor since she can shapeshift into the form of her enemies and thus avoid being attacked. Judging from the picture, it would seem that her human enemies are the Electric Hoochie Momma Clan.
 
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22. Board Game: Anima: Shadow of Omega [Average Rating:6.01 Overall Rank:2602]
Tim Mirkes
United States
La Crosse
Wisconsin
Papa was a rollin' stone...
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To any of the ladies in the top row:

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
 
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42 comments [Hide]
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Matt Loter
United States
New Haven
Connecticut
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I do think it's way out of hand and usually/mostly done just to have sexy(?) ladies all over everything, but there is a sort of logical thematic reason sometimes for at least a lack of armor. There are many characters whom rely on their movement and dexterity to just avoid getting hit at all (as well as for their attack style) rather than the brute strength sort that would just strut around in full plate and smash stuff.

And from a personal perspective, when I'm fighting I prefer to be wearing as little as possible (though of course I'm not dodging arrows either).

And now I feel like even more of a nerd for getting all comic store guy on your list.
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  • Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:57 am
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Edward Kendrick
United Kingdom
Redditch
Worcs
wifwendell wrote:
Chanfan wrote:
Chanfan wrote:




Heh - this is my wife, BTW. I think the more covering armor can look good!


With that sword and armor, I bet you never forget to unload the dishwasher!


He probably is the dishwasher.
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 5:12 pm
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Daniel Cristofani
United States
Portland
Oregon
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True, these armor designs are rarely adequately justified or explained in terms of the fictional world they appear in.
So they represent a sacrifice not merely of "realism", which (granted) is not a priority in fantasy anyway, but also of congruity and internal consistency, which can be.
Yes, the point is to appeal to the target audience's sex drives.
Why don't the creators just throw in extra art depicting these people entirely naked in scenarios where it would make sense for them to be naked? That'd serve the same function without being laughable.
Well, 1. More artwork is more work, and
2. That'd mean no more plausible deniability regarding the motives for the style of depiction.

And why is plausible deniability needed? Why does sex get insinuated into extraneous fields and situations as opposed to being openly acknowledged and celebrated as its own sphere of interest? That is often explained as a response to "Puritanism". It's getting really old though.

Edit: cleaned up a poor choice of words.
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  • Edited Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:19 pm
  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:17 pm
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Geoff Burkman
United States
Kettering
Ohio
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"Punk is not dead" by daughter, Emily
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Best laugh on the entire thread!
 
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  • Posted Wed Jan 21, 2009 10:45 pm
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Grant Woods
New Zealand
Auckland
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Obviously this is all magical armour.. encumbers as clothing; protects as Chain/ Plate.
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  • Posted Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:39 am
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