Bad Things That Could Happen If Board Games Were Mainstream
Pete Belli
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Florida
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Be careful what you wish for...

Here are some bad things that could happen if board games entered the mainstream of our 21st century culture.

Please feel welcome to add your own ideas.
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1. Board Game: Thinking in Circles [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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TV would be saturated with commercials for drugs to combat analysis paralysis.

Similar to those horrible erectile dysfunction ads, these messages would feature images of Geeks discussing strategy while strolling through meadows carpeted with spring flowers or playing Agricola while sitting in adjacent bathtubs.
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2. Board Game: Super Model [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Instead of beautiful young ladies like this woman game ads would feature anorexic supermodels.
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3. Board Game: Drugopoly [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Game designers might make enough money to develop a cocaine habit.
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4. Board Game: National Enquirer Game [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Celebrity game designers would be the subject of tabloid gossip... or rumors of strange alien encounters.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
Actually, the long-term effects of mind probes conducted by alien visitors might explain the behavior of a few people I've encountered in the wargame hobby.
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5. Board Game: What Do You Know About The Government [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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If a board game company fell on hard times the President and Congress would spend billions of taxpayer dollars to bail them out.
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6. Board Game: Coffee! [Average Rating:4.44 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Game stores might appear on every street corner, just like the national chain of coffee shops. Pompous but underpaid clerks who made the mistake of majoring in art history or English literature could sneer at customers who mispronounce the title of a game.
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7. Board Game: Talk Show [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Instead of conducting their disputes on obscure internet forums those feuding game publishers could snipe at each other on TV talk shows with an audience of millions.
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8. Board Game: Strike! [Average Rating:8.00 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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The game industry might employ hundreds of thousands of workers who belong to the International Game Assemblers & Packers Union.

Every time a new union contract came up for arbitration these workers would threaten to walk out and deprive millions of Geeks of the latest addition to the Cult Of The New.
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9. Board Game: The Telephone Game [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Alfred Das
Netherlands
's-Hertogenbosch
Noord-Brabant
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*trrrrrrrringggg* *triiiiiiiiinnggg*...

6PM, the phone rings. I pick up. "Hello?". This time it's not an energy supplier or mortgage agent, but a Boardgame Publisher vying for my monthly subscription to their line of games.
"We would take care of the switchover, no problem sir." *sigh* *CLUNK*


edit: picture
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10. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.15 Overall Rank:5]
Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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500,000 people would march on Washington DC to protest the depiction of slaves in Puerto Rico.

Japan would file a formal protest with the UN Human Rights Commission complaining about wargames that use the color yellow to depict Japanese troops.
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11. Board Game: Munchkin [Average Rating:6.04 Overall Rank:2211]
Wendell
United States
Twin Cities
Minnesota
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Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
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The good news - baseball stadiums have Free Game Night, games for the first 20,000 fans.

The bad news - the game is Munchkins.
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12. Board Game: Clone! [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Craig Somerton
Australia
North Ryde - Sydney
NSW
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Give a man fire and he's warm for the day. Set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Owning boardgames wouldn't make us different.

We'd all be just like everyone else!

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13. Board Game: Carcassonne: The Princess & the Dragon [Average Rating:6.67 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.67 Unranked]
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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Countless young college men and women would find some way to turn Carcassonne into a drinking and stripping game. It would be the rage of spring breaks.shake
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14. Board Game: Holiday Shuffle [Average Rating:4.44 Unranked]
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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Everyone, including none gamers, would know exactly what games you want and where to find them for your birthday and holidays.

angry
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15. Board Game: BattleLore: Hill Giant [Average Rating:7.19 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.19 Unranked]
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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You could find mini-expansions in your Capn' Crunch cereal box.
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16. Board Game: Operation [Average Rating:4.02 Overall Rank:10800]
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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Grognards disease would be recogonized by the AMA. You could receive full disability and stay home from work for months on end to cope with your illness.

Your war games would be subsidized through a government medical plan.
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17. Board Game: NASCAR Champions [Average Rating:5.33 Overall Rank:9260]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Game designers would wear jumpsuits covered with corporate logos like NASCAR drivers.

Instead of drinking milk like they do at the finish of the Indy 500 an award winning game designer would chug-a-lug a bottle of Mountain Dew* at Essen.

*Provided the multi-million dollar sponsorship deal is signed.
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18. Board Game: Sport of Kings [Average Rating:6.75 Unranked]
Mark Salzwedel
United States
New York
New York
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Wednesday nights and the entire weekend would be filled with televised coverage of gaming tournaments in various cities of the world, bringing throngs of spectators to such unlikely locations as Nurnberg, Germany and Columbus, Ohio, swelling the size of the cities enough that most of their public buildings take on sponsorships, like the Z-man Gaming Arena, the Days of Wonder Visitors Center, and the Mayfair Planetarium.
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19. Board Game: Miscellaneous Game Book [Average Rating:6.64 Overall Rank:6449]
 
Alfred Das
Netherlands
's-Hertogenbosch
Noord-Brabant
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Ray Bradbury's publisher would rewrite his novel Fahrenheit 451 to be about boardgames instead of books to try and cash in on the craze.

Unfortunately people have little time to read books these days and the publisher thus needs to find a source of additional income to warrant the release. Expect Hasbro to grab the licence for the boardgame tie-in.
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20. Board Game: Monopoly: The Mega Edition [Average Rating:6.16 Overall Rank:4411]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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Every game would get the Monopoly Treatment, with new merchandized or branded editions coming out each month.

Examples:
- Puerto Rico: The Star Wars Original Trilogy Edition
- Ra: The Coca Cola Challenge
- Pandemic: Danger in Middle-Earth
- Ticket to Mountain Dew
- Wall-E 40,000: Battle for Axiom
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21. Board Game: Break Down [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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With so many new people interested in board games, BGG would be constantly overloaded, and going down regularly. Geeks would get jittery. World wide chaos would ensue.
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22. Board Game: The Wedding Game [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
Steve Herron
United States
Johnson City
Tennessee
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Instead of getting six toasters or can openers couples might get six Settlers of Catan or Ticket to Ride. I would bet some couples here have recieved games as wedding gifts.
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23. Board Game: Celebrity Taboo [Average Rating:5.38 Overall Rank:9311]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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Celebrities would try to earn "geek cred" by claiming that their love of sports made them unpopular in high school.
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24. Board Game Designer: Alan R. Moon
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...

President Alan R. Moon



In other news, Governors Knizia and Rosenberg are working on passing a law that allows non-natural-born citizens to run for President.
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25. Board Game: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Boardgame [Average Rating:3.89 Overall Rank:10731]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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The top 5 highest rated prime-time television shows:

1) CSI: Carcassonne
2) Boardgaming with the Stars
3) Game Design Idol
4) Survivor: Tikal
5) Desperate Grognards
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