Tournament of Destiny: A Choose Your Own Adventure Story
Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
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After almost a year, I have decided to make another foray into the realm of Choose Your Own Adventure GeekLists. I have had the idea for this one rattling around in the back of my mind for quite a while, but only recently, have I felt the creative urge to actually give it a try.
Here's how it works. You will read the story contained in this GeekList. At the end of each entry, you will be given two or three choices. Each choice will then direct you to another entry on the list. You will need to scroll back and forth through the list;therefore, it is important that you only read your current entry so that the list is not ruined for you. You will want to keep a sheet of paper handy to keep track of wins and losses throughout the tournament. "What kind of tournament is it?" you are probably asking yourself. Well, let's just say that it's a most unusual tournament.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
After a late night of gaming, you make your way to bed. You congratulate yourself on once again schooling your friends in every game that you played.
"I'm the man," you say smugly as you pull the covers up and drift off to sleep.
Upon awaking, you find yourself sitting at a table in the middle of a massive convention center. There is room for a thousand tables, but strangely, there is only the one large table at which you sit.
"What the hell?" you mutter in disbelief. Suddenly, a man dressed in black appears before you.
"Hello," he says with a strange grin, "Are you ready to begin the tournament?"
"What's going on here? Where am I?" you stammer as you try to make sense of everything.
"You have been selected to play in the Tournament of Destiny. Yearly, one individual is chosen to represent Mankind in a tournament against some of the most powerful beings found throughout the universe. Some are gods, some are monsters, some are men that transcend reality, and some are creations from the imaginations of men, but be assured, all are formidable adversaries."
Sensing your apprehension, the strange man continued, "Do you refuse to fulfill your destiny and defend the reputation of Mankind?"
"Well, I guess not," you reply with some reluctance, "but why me? What makes me special?"
"Nothing in particular. Just that you are a man, and that is what is required."
He then explains the rules of the tournament in his strange manner. "You must choose one two player game. You will then play a succession of rounds against various opponents. During each round, you will have two or three opponents to choose from. You just need to decide who you think you can beat. It is a best of five tournament. You must win three to be victorious. Three loses and you lose."
"And what if I lose?" you ask with trepidation.
"Oh, you will lose," the man responds without hesitation, "and when you do, you will wake up tomorrow with a newfound respect for the mysteries of the universe. You will also prove once again that Man is weak and inferior."
"That's it?" you respond surprised.
"That is enough." he says without looking at you.
"And if I win?" you continue.
"No one has ever won. If that is the case, however, your name will be sung for ages hence and you will be revered as a God."
The thought of this makes your grin.
"Well, let's get this party started," you state impatiently, already dreaming of your legendary status.
The man in black shakes is head and whispers under his breath, "It is always the same with these humans. Which game do you choose?"
You think for a moment and decde on 1960: The Making of the President. Without warning, the man is gone and in his place are two individuals now sitting across the table. You recognize both of them immediately. On the table now sits a copy of your chosen game. Without hesitation, you choose your first challenger.
If you challenge Santa Claus go to item #2.
If you challenge the Easter Bunny go to item #3.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"Well, I guess it's you and me, fat man," you say as you point toward Santa. The Easter Bunny hops away with an air of dejection.
You suddenly turn your attention back to Santa who is taking out his I-Phone and inputing some information.
"Hey, what are you doing over there?" you ask inquisitively.
"Putting you on the naughty list," Santa responds without looking up.
"Hey, Hey, wait a minute," you reply frantically, "I was just kidding."
Santa looks up from his and says, "HO! HO! HO! Let the good times roll!"
"OK, that's just stupid," you say with disgust.
After about an hour, you look at the map that lies before you with triumph. "Well big boy, looks like you should stick to standing on the street corner and ringing a bell."
As Santa begins to disappear, you notice him reaching for his I-Phone again.
"I was just kidding!" you shout in vain as he vanishes.
Suddenly the man in black is standing beside you.
"Congratulations. I must admit I'm impressed, but honestly Santa has always been a weak link in our tournament. We just let him participate because he brings us gifts. Well, here are your next three challengers. Choose the one that you think you can defeat."
As you look at the next three, you know that you should be shocked, but strangely, you're not.
If you challenge Ronald McDonald go to item #4.
If you challenge the Burger King go to item #5.
If you challenge Chuck E Cheese go to item #6.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
You point at the Easter Bunny and Santa disappears in a cloud of smoke with "Ho! Ho! Ho!" echoing behind him.
"It's you and me, Fluffy," you state smugly as the Easter Bunny sits examining the board. As the game wears on, you constantly notice the bunny's twitching nose and the sound of crunching as it munches carrot after carrot. You try to ignore it, but eventually your nerves are racked and the rabbit has you on tilt. When defeat finally comes, you are relieved that the ordeal is over.
"Thank goodness that's over," you mumble under your breath. Before he turns to go, the Easter Bunny reaches out with his paw and you see a shiny red Easter egg. You accept the egg with a nod of gratitude and the bunny vanishes. It is only after he is gone, that you notice the egg has the word "Loser" scrawled on the side.
That furry son of a ......" you begin, but you are interrupted by appearance of the man in black across the table.
"That looks like one loss," he replies smugly. "Two more losses and your tournament is over."
"OK, OK! I get it. Bring on some more challengers. How about some normal ones this time?"
"Oh, these are quite normal in their own way," the man in black says with a maniacal laugh as he disappears. Immediately, you notice three strange individuals making their way across the massive room.
"What the hell?" is all you can mutter in disbelief.
If you challenge Ronald McDonald go to item #4.
If you challenge the Burger King go to item #5.
If you challenge Chuck E Cheese go to item #6.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"I'm ready Ronnie. You don't mind if I call you Ronnie, do you?"
Ronald doesn't speaks but just looks at you with that big stupid smile.
"Boy, this is going to be fun," you say under your breath.
About half way through the game, you feel like you're winning. You're Kennedy and blue cubes are flowing. Ronald doesn't even seem to be trying. He just keeps drawing the imaginary arches in the air after every turn. You are figuring that the game is a foregone conclusion, when Ronald pulls a Big Mac from out of nowhere and offers it to you.
"Thanks," you respond half heartedly and continue thinking about your next move. A Few minutes later, he hands you another Big Mac. This continues for the rest of the game. Even when you start feeling bloated, you can't seem to stop eating. By the end of the game, you are so pre-occupied with your indigestion and nausea that you can't concentrate. After the final votes are counted, amazingly Ronald has edged you out.
You look at Ronald through watering eyes with hatred.
"You tricked me. You fed me those Big Macs to throw me off my game. I should have expected it from Nixon."
Ronald just keeps smiling that stupid ass grin that makes you want to punch him.
Ronald disappears, a seemingly normal occurrence around here, and you once more sit alone.
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick."
There is no introduction by the man in black this time. The next three contestants really don't need one.
If you challenge Death go to item #7.
If you challenge Mother Nature go to item #8.
If you challenge Cupid go to item #9.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"I just want to let you know that I love the Whopper," you say with conviction. "You just can't beat that flame broiled taste."
"Yes, I know; I am the Burger King after all," he replies with arrogance arrogance.
"Well, excuse me your highness. Let's just play the game."
After the game is finished, you lean back in your chair and state smugly, "You may be king, but looks like I'm the President."
"I could really care less," the king replies. "I only show up for this thing because they pay me an appearance fee. I don't even like games."
This somehow cheapens your victory, and feeling dejected, you shout toward the ceiling, "Where are the next three challengers?"
Immediately the king is gone and before you stands three amazing figures.
If you challenge Death go to item #7.
If you challenge Mother Nature go to item #8.
If you challenge Cupid go to item #9.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"OK, Chuck! Let's get it on."
Chuck just shakes his big mascot style head at you. You notice his large furry hands and wonder about his ability to handle the support cubes. After a short time, you realize that this is indeed a real problem.
"Man in black, I need a ruling over here," you yell to the emptiness. The man in black appears immediately.
"What's the issue?" he asks.
"Chuck over here, can't even play this game. He keeps knocking the cubes around and he can't even get his hand in the bag. Look at those meat hooks."
"I'm sorry, but you must continue the game. There are no substitutes allowed in our tournament. Your only recourse is to finish the game, no matter how long it takes, or you can simply resign."
"Aaaargh!" you scream in frustration. "This is such crap."
"I'm sorry, but those are the rules," the man in black says as he once again disappears.
After another twenty minutes of futility, you stand up and toss the board across the room. Blue and red cubes fill the sky for a moment and you begin to punch Chuck in the face. He disappears before you do to much damage, but you feel better.
"That counts as a resignation," the man in black says from behind you.
You wheel around to lay into him, but you are able to compose yourself.
"I want out of here. This whole tournament is garbage. I just want to go home."
"Are you forfeiting the tournament?" he asks with a smirk.
"No," you reply with frustration, "I'm not a quitter. I'm going to show you and all the other freaks around here what a real gamer is like."
"OK then, meet your three new challengers.
If you challenge Death go to item #7.
If you challenge Mother Nature go to item #8.
If you challenge Cupid go to item #9.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
You can feel Death grinning underneath his hood when you select him.
"How dare you challenge me, mortal," he declares with a voice that chills you to your soul. "Come over here; take my hand. Do you want to dance with Death?"
You now realize that this was a big mistake.
"What the hell was I thinking. OK Mr. Death," you reply in a meek voice, "I would rather just resign if that's OK with you."
"That is a wise choice," Death answers and then turns and walks away into the darkness.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" you keep repeating as you smack your forehead.
If this is your third loss go to item #15.
You are so distressed, that you barely notice the next three challengers making their way to your table.
If you challenge Superman go to item #10.
If you challenge Batman go to item #11.
If you challenge Spider Man go to item #12.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"It's not nice to mess with Mother Nature," is the first thing that she says.
"Oh, come on! That's so old. Can't you come up with something a little more original. Oh, forget it. Let's just play."
It doesn't take long for you to realize that maybe she was right. After the first round, you notice that Mother Nature's blue cubes are moving around the board and destroying your red cubes."
"What's going on? How are you doing that?"
"I'm Mother Nature. I can control all natural elements. This would include the wood that is used to make these cubes."
"That's not fair; that's cheating."
"There are no rules prohibiting it in the rule book," she replies.
"You quickly scan the rule book to no avail.
"I don't think the designer planned on entities like yourself playing his game."
"Sorry," is all Mother Nature says as she plays another card.
The card play is really irrelevant as you watch the blue cubes continue to wreak havoc on the board. Needless to say, you lose quickly.
If this is your third loss go to item #15.
You sit back in your chair and sigh heavily as you await the next three. You don't have to wait long.
If you challenge Superman go to item #10.
If you challenge Batman go to item #11.
If you challenge Spider Man go to item #12.
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9.
Board Game: Love Game
[Average Rating:1.00 Unranked]
Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"Put the bow and arrow away," is the first thing you say. "I don't want you making a mistake, and I somehow end up in bed with Ronald McDonald."
Cupid puts the bow and arrow down and starts focusing on the game. You can't help but notice that he keeps giving you little seductive glances, but you ignore them and continue plotting your next move. The game is nearing the debates, when Cupid quickly brings out the bow and shoots you in the arm. You immediately feel a strange sensation pulsing through your body, but you try to close your mind to it and stay focused.
Your passionate urges grow stronger, but Cupid had not accounted for one thing. That your passion for board games is stronger than any physical lust. You are able to keep your head together and cruise to a landslide victory.
"Better luck next time," you gloat as he makes his way into the shadows, "and how about putting some clothes on. I know it's cold in here, but that goes beyond normal shrinkage."
If this is your third win go to item #16.
You are still reveling in your victory, when three new figures appear directly in front of.
"This is insane," you muttered to yourself as you examine this new trio.
If you challenge Superman go to item #10.
If you challenge Batman go to item #11.
If you challenge Spider Man go to item #12.
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10.
Board Game: Superman
[Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
Upon choosing Superman, the other two instantly disappear..
"You play games much?" you ask in a futile attempt to make small talk.
"Don't try anything funny!" he warns you with a menacing glare.
"Oh yeah, I've got a pocketful of Kryptonite right here," you say with sarcasm as you jokingly reach in your pocket. You don't even have time to react as Superman uses his laser vision to fry about half of the support cubes in your supply.
"No fair!" you yell in dismay. "I was just fooling around." Shortly thereafter, you hang your head in defeat.
"I didn't even have enough cubes to place; I demand a formal inquiry," you declare pleadingly. Before you can finish making your case, Superman has vanished.
"He's a cheater. I thought he was supposed to be a good guy. No wonder Lex Luthor wants to kill his ass."
If this is your third loss go to item #15.
The man in black appears once more.
"Well, it looks like it will go down to one more game. Are you prepared to meet the challengers?"
"I guess. What other choice do I have?" you reply, still steaming from the last game.
When the final two show up, you only shake your head in disbelief.
"You can't be serious."
If you challenge Mr. T go to item #13.
If you challenge Fonzie (The Fonz) go to item #14.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"Where's Robin?" you ask in attempt to strike up some conversation.
"Is that supposed to be funny? I can't stand that little asshole," Batman responds with genuine anger. "Maybe I need to rough you up a little to make you understand where I'm coming from."
"No, no! I was just trying to be friendly," I reply in a panic.
"Well don't!" is Batman's terse reply. "Let's just play the game; I have a lot to do."
"Yeah, I guess you stay pretty busy," you say as an attempt to salvage the conversation.
"I thought I said shut your freaking pie hole!" he shouts as he stands up as if ready for action. You can already feel your teeth getting knocked loose, when the Bat Cell Phone goes off.
"Hello," Batman answers with a sense of urgency. "The Riddler on the loose again? OK, I'll be right there."
He quickly hangs up the phone and glares at you.
"You got lucky this time, punk. Not only were you going to lose the games, but you were going to lose some quality of life. How does the word "wheelchair" make you feel?"
And with that haunting statement, Batman runs out of the room.
"Hey, Game Master, or whatever your name is, that counts as a win doesn't it?"
The man in black appears once more and says "Yes, you were very lucky."
If this is your third win go to item #16.
"You have but one more hurdle to pass," the man in black states as he walks toward your table. "Are you ready?"
"Let's do this thing."
When the final two appear, you are speechless.
If you challenge Mr. T go to item #13.
If you challenge Fonzie (The Fonz) go to item #14.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"What's up, Spidey?"
"Things are going well," he replies in a very cordial tone. "And how are you?"
"OK, I guess. This isn't exactly what I had in mind today, but I guess I could be working so I can't complain."
The game begins and things seem strangely normal. You are actually enjoying yourself, but you notice that you are falling desperately behind in the game. Every move that you attempt is thwarted in some way by Spider Man. As the game winds down, you are hopelessly crushed.
"I've never seen anything like that. How did you seem to know my moves before I did?"
"My Spidey Sense of course," he replied nonchalantly.
You throw your hands up in frustration at the thought of being cheated.
If this is your third loss go to item #15.
"Well, only one more match up to go," the mysterious man in black says softly as he once again reappears.
"If it's another cheat fest like the last one, I probably don't stand much of a chance. It doesn't matter, let's just get it over with."
The next two challengers suddenly appear and you almost fall out of your chair.
If you challenge Mr. T go to item #13.
If you challenge Fonzie (The Fonze) go to item #14.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"I pity the fool who challenges me to a game of ....." Mr. T. appears puzzled as he looks at 1960 resting on the table. "What is this? I thought we were playing Battleship."
"Are you nervous, Mr. T?" you asks with an air of condescension. "Is this just too complicated for you? Maybe you need to call in the A-Team."
"I pity the fool who tries to make fun of me!" he exclaims in anger.
Things finally calm down and the game begins. Mr.T is Nixon and he grabs an early lead, but it is a back and forth battle. The jangling of Mr. T's gold chains is a little disconcerting, but you keep your composure until the final tally is in. When the smoke clears, you proudly declare that you have edged him out by 8 electoral votes.
"Hold up!" Mr. T shouts. "I pity the fool who didn't notice this "Unpledged Electors" card. It looks like you done lost, fool!"
You jump up from the table in rage and stomp around the massive room unleashing a stream of profanity.
This is your third loss go to item #15.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
Upon hearing that you selected him, Fonzie gives you a thumbs up and says "Aayyy!"
"You are so incredibly lame," you reply in disgust. "Come on, let's finish this."
Another thumbs up and "Aayyy! is his only response.
The game begins and you take Nixon this time. The Fonz seems much more concerned with looking cool than actually playing the game. He often seems to be looking to see if anyone is watching.
"That was a stupid move," you remark at one point, but Fonzie just replies "Aayyy!"
"You know, you should never have jumped that shark on Happy Days. That just ruined the show."
"Aayyy!" is his only reply.
You finally realize that beating the Fonz is going to be very little challenge. When the game is over, Fonzie stands up and flips up the collar of his leather jacket. He struts out of the room and doesn't look back.
This is your third win go to item #16.
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15.
Board Game: Loser
[Average Rating:4.39 Unranked]
Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
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The final appearance of the man in black fills you with a sense of terror.
"Well, you have proven once again that men are weak and incapable of competing with greatness."
"I wouldn't exactly call Ronald McDonald greatness, "you exclaim in frustration. "So I lost; what does it prove?"
Just that what was already known; mankind is the scourge of this planet and must be destroyed, beginning with you."
The man in black quickly pulls out a large ray gun and points it you.
"I thought you said that I would just have to live with shame. You didn't say anything about dying," you reply frantically.
"You don't think I would tip my hand that easily do you?"
"I don't understand. This must be a dream."
"Oh it's a dream all right; it's my dream," the man in black states calmly as he pulls the trigger. Fortunately, you only fill a slight stinging and then there is darkness.
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Charles Rayburn
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
-
"I guess that makes me the champion," you state smugly as the man in black reappears in the room.
"It would appear so. No human being has ever bested this field of champions. You are indeed the Chosen One."
"What do you mean the Chosen One?" you ask.
"You are the one who has been sent to lead us from the darkness."
"I don't understand. You just said that I would be sung about for ages hence. I thought I would just get a big trophy and a write up in the paper."
"No, your purpose is somewhat larger. Your life as you know it is no longer. Follow me and we will go talk to the leader."
Feeling much like Neo in the Matrix, you follow the man in black with a sense of fear and uncertainty. You are led to a back through the shadows of the convention center until you are taken into a chamber behind a secret doorway.
As you enter the room, you see a desk with a man in a chair. His back is to you and curiosity overcomes you.
"Leader, I have brought him. He is the Chosen One."
"Good. I have been waiting for him," the man state with a sense of purpose. Suddenly the chair swings around and you stand staring into the face of Reiner Knizia.
"Everything is ready now," he says with a chuckle.
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