Shocking Boardgame Headlines
Pat McLaughlin
Belgium
Brussels
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The recent geeklist Ban This Sick Filth! - Tabloids bash board games gave me an idea. What if the tabloids decided to write about the abominable goings on inside boardgames? Obviously wargames would be an easy target with their mass destruction of life and limb...but what about some of the more innocent looking Euro games? What nasty depths might the depraved meeples inside these games sink to?

Read on to find out. And of course feel free to write your own Shocking Boardgame Headlines.




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76. Board Game: Struggle of Empires [Average Rating:7.54 Overall Rank:190]
Nacho Facello
Uruguay
Montevideo
Montevideo
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Powerful Austrian Fleet Blockades Russian Colonies of South America.
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77. Board Game: Forbidden Island [Average Rating:6.91 Overall Rank:408]
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him fill the balloons."
United States
Kansas City
Missouri
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Irresponsible Archaeologists Loot Precious Artifacts, Accidentally Sink Island Before Escaping on Helicopter!
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78. Board Game: Medici [Average Rating:7.12 Overall Rank:357]
Reddy Kilowatt
United States
Pennsylvania
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Local merchants caught polluting, throwing cheap goods to the sea!
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79. Board Game: Felix: The Cat in the Sack [Average Rating:6.63 Overall Rank:818]
Reddy Kilowatt
United States
Pennsylvania
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Activists protest green haired man for animal cruelty!
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80. Board Game: Mystery of the Abbey [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:866]
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him fill the balloons."
United States
Kansas City
Missouri
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Local Monk Plunges to Death From Monastery Tower!
Visiting Clerics Held on Suspicion.
"It is God’s will for us to find the perpetrator and reveal him," vows Abbott. "Meanwhile, our normal schedule of prayer and masses will be maintained."
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81. Board Game: Ra [Average Rating:7.48 Overall Rank:95]
Reddy Kilowatt
United States
Pennsylvania
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Prolific designer accused of "pasting on theme"!
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82. Board Game: Saint Petersburg [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:156]
Nathan Bergom
United States
Towson
Maryland
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"Sometimes it would be nice to be wrong about people." -Commander Samuel Vimes
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Local author chosen as new pope, applauds city's plans to convert pub into cathedral
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83. Board Game: Friday the 13th [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:1106]
Nathan Bergom
United States
Towson
Maryland
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"Sometimes it would be nice to be wrong about people." -Commander Samuel Vimes
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Shocking new youth trend: mixing poison with alcohol at parties
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84. Board Game: Chrononauts [Average Rating:6.24 Overall Rank:1542] [Average Rating:6.24 Unranked]
Tarra Scott
Taiwan
Taipei
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Urbanization the Board Game: my first original game design
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Hitler Assassinated!
Then Brought Back from the Dead by a Giant Cockroach

August 1, 1936

The would-be assassin kept muttering about the Kazamastan Chronodrome before disappearing in what appeared to be a Teeny Tiny Time Machine. The giant creature who rescued the Fuhrer wishes to be known as only Squa Tront and said he it was nothing. He mentioned that he was off to Cuba to take care of some other business. We wish him luck.

In other news, Werner, a recently-celebrated baker of the Schwartzwald has promised to unveil a delicious treat at the World's Fair being held in New York City in 1939.
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85. Board Game: Conquest of the Empire [Average Rating:6.31 Overall Rank:2244]
Jon Hall
United States
Honolulu
Hawaii
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Scholars Declare Catapult Ancient Weapon of Mass Destruction
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86. Board Game: Clue Master Detective [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:1636]
Jon Hall
United States
Honolulu
Hawaii
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Solved: It was ________ in the __________ with the ____________!
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87. Board Game: Man Bites Dog [Average Rating:4.72 Overall Rank:11089]
Jon Hall
United States
Honolulu
Hawaii
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Man Bites Dog
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88. Board Game: Monty Python Fluxx [Average Rating:6.10 Overall Rank:2052]
Dan Edelen
United States
Mount Orab
Ohio
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Local Animator Claims to Be God
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89. Board Game: Hey, That's My Fish! [Average Rating:6.83 Overall Rank:475]
Dan Edelen
United States
Mount Orab
Ohio
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Dwindling Polar Ice, Increased Competition for Food Threaten Penguin Population
Scientist claims climate change not at fault
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90. Board Game: Balderdash [Average Rating:6.38 Overall Rank:1319]
Dan Edelen
United States
Mount Orab
Ohio
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Perjury Committed in Mattel Trial
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91. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.63 Overall Rank:6647]
Martin Larouche
Canada
Longueuil
Quebec
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Melting souls with cuteness since 2007
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Murder mystery solved. Colonel Mustard, a guest at the mansion, has found that HE was the murderer.
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92. Board Game: Vegas Showdown [Average Rating:7.24 Overall Rank:276]
Me, sin? Pf! Nah! Chill
United States
Fountain Valley
California
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Why is there no Word Games Forum or Subdomain?
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There should be a Word Games Subdomain, or at least a Word Games Forum!
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Is Poker Craze Over?
New Casinos open in LV with no Poker Room, but Two Sports Books
Some don't even have a buffet.
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93. Board Game: Carson City [Average Rating:7.32 Overall Rank:229]
Mike Em
Canada
Edmonton
Alberta
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Frontier town implicated in foreign labour dispute. Reparations made to Chinese workers: each given 2 roads and 1/2 price off all buildings!

Local Mercenary rethinks saloon robbery after discovering adjacent church.
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94. Board Game: Battlestar Galactica [Average Rating:7.83 Overall Rank:29]
Daryl Wilks
United States
Peshastin
Washington
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"Love one another."
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President Roslin Accused of Spying for Cylons.
Loyalty called into question after suspicious handling of national crisis.
Embattled leader protests innocence in a statement today: "Everything I've done has helped our people. My loyalty is unquestionable. Just give me an executive order and I'll show how you can trust me." Opposition leaders were quick to condemn the presidents defense: "That's what a cylon would say." said House Leader Baltar. In a unusual foray into politics, Admiral Tigh weighed in on Baltar's criticism: "Interesting comments, coming from someone with three loyalty cards, wouldn't you say?" Polls show people are distrustful of all parties. Average Joe "Chief" shares his disgust: "We can't afford all this finger-pointing, back-stabbing and mud-slinging while the Cylons are surrounding us. We need to learn to live together or we'll die alone."
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95. Board Game: Dominion [Average Rating:7.77 Overall Rank:30] [Average Rating:7.77 Unranked]
C. B. Green
United States
Culver City
California
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Local Feast Trashed; Spontaneous Festival Arises from Wreckage
in other news: Village Overpowered
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96. Board Game: Space Hulk (third edition) [Average Rating:7.61 Overall Rank:124]
Dan Edelen
United States
Mount Orab
Ohio
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From The New York Times:

Space Marines Attacked, Left Pants-less by Jeans Stealers
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97. Board Game: Elasund: The First City [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:800]
Jason Reid
United States
Brooklyn
New York
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Local businesses demolished. Owners' rights trampled to make room for Cathedral!
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98. Board Game: Munchkin [Average Rating:6.02 Overall Rank:2312] [Average Rating:6.02 Unranked]
Hunter E
United States
Kirkland
Washington
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MONTHS AFTER ELECTION, STILL NO CLEAR RESULT
Eighth recount shows all cantidates tied with nine votes each...
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99. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:9748]
Hunter E
United States
Kirkland
Washington
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WORLD WAR OVER!!!
Australian forces victorious
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100. Board Game: BattleLore: Horrific Horde [Average Rating:7.66 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.66 Unranked]
Geoff Speare
United States
Bedford
Massachusetts
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tee hee, that tickles!!!
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New Goblin Recruits "Way Off Base"
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