Wood For Sheep ... And Other Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't (PG-13)
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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ALERT: This list is PG-13ish. If you're easily offended or overly sensitive, go read something else
- = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = -

The concept is simple -- those comments that come up during the course of a game that, when taken out of context, sound dirty or downright disturbing. Maybe I'm just in an impish mood, but it seemed like everything that was said during my last gaming session was screened with my "dirty mind" filter.

Please post your own, but try to keep it PG-13... There's technically nothing offensive here, it's all a matter of interpretation and inference -- and I'd like to keep it that way. And please don't shoot soda out your nose -- it makes the monitor all sticky.

Extra Double Super Secret Karma Points if you read these and immediately recognize the game situation, mechanic or piece that triggers the comment.

What other blue humor comes up during gaming?
What other gaming comments are easily taken out of context?
Ever embarrass yourself in front of company with something like this?

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26. Board Game: The Settlers of the Stone Age [Average Rating:6.63 Overall Rank:1025]
Canada
Montreal
Quebec
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Various jokes combining meat, bone and fur
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27. Board Game: Shadowfist [Average Rating:7.10 Overall Rank:1722]
Simon Johnston
United Kingdom
Isle of Wight
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Although I wouldn't recommend it, you can play with some Eunuch Pawn....
 
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28. Board Game: Mystery of the Abbey [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:864]
Myke Madsen
United States
Salt Lake City
Utah
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"Do you have any Hooded, Clean-Shaven Fatties?"
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29. Board Game: Bohnanza [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:281]
United States
Houston
Texas
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Great list. Here's two from just last night.

We learned Bohnanza with the old German edition, so we've stilled never learned to call them "beans."

"Will you let me just give you the Blue Bohn?"

"I see somebody needs a Red Bohn."
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30. Board Game: Smarty Party! [Average Rating:6.65 Overall Rank:1715]
United States
Houston
Texas
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I think this game tried for the entendre deliberately, but hey-- works for me.

"Woo hoo! I finally got the rubber pants!"
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31. Board Game: Catan: Cities & Knights [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked]
Andrew Burton
United States
Bear
Delaware
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"You get a victory point because you beat off the barbarians."
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32. Board Game: Capitol [Average Rating:6.86 Overall Rank:895]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Look at how big his is over there."
"I wonder where he's going to put it."
"Where ever he puts it you'll have to put something bigger in there."
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33. Board Game: Conspiracy [Average Rating:6.22 Overall Rank:2841]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Tanya Hyde is going to blow Rock Bottom's cover."
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34. Board Game: Fearsome Floors [Average Rating:6.67 Overall Rank:698]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"...and then the monster turns and eats her."
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35. Board Game: No Thanks! [Average Rating:7.03 Overall Rank:335]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"I don't think you took enough money for that one. It's pretty big and you're going to feel the hurt later."
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36. Board Game: I'm the Boss! [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:637]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Ok, I'll give you two million to use your chick."
 
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37. Board Game: Kupferkessel Co. [Average Rating:6.96 Overall Rank:964]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"There's some weird stuff in these boxes."
 
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38. Board Game: Blood Bowl (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.59 Overall Rank:167]
Benny Moeller
Denmark
Viby J, Aarhus
Unspecified
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The Piling On skill has often been the source for some "interesting" comments...
Specially if a minotaur player piles on a halfling player...

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39. Board Game: Turn the Tide [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:675]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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[Turn the Tide version]

"Ok, mine goes down so I don't lose a sheep."
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40. Board Game: Warriors [Average Rating:5.02 Overall Rank:11017]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Ok, I think I'm going to make our barbarians go at it."
 
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41. Board Game: Warhammer 40,000 [Average Rating:6.36 Overall Rank:1720]
Jae
United States
Bryan
TX
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"No, you CANNOT have the Red Terror and Old One Eye on the table at the same time..."
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42. Board Game: War of the Ring (first edition) [Average Rating:7.85 Overall Rank:34]
Ignazio De Guglielmi
Italy
Edinburgh
UK
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"Elves start active while humans are passive... OUCH!"
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43. Board Game: Evo [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:513]
Jesse Miller
United States
Gettysburg
Pennsylvania
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"I really want that horn for my dino" (needs to be combined with strategically placed tiles for full effect. I can't believe that no one has posted pics of the perverted stuff you can do with them.)
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44. Board Game: Trias [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:1193]
Darren M
Canada
Fort Vermilion
AB
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"You've moved twice...so yes you can reproduce now."

(Just like the two going at it on the game box)
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45. Board Game: Poker [Average Rating:6.71 Overall Rank:680]
 
Jason Worron
Canada
Burlington
Ontario
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"I flopped the nuts"
"I'm on the come"
"I'm all in"
"Are you all in?"
"I'm big, you're small"


More then I can count...
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46. Board Game: Sniper! (first edition) [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:4056]
Jack Squat
United States
Ypsilanti
Michigan
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"My rifleman is now erect and will expose himself through this window."
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47. Board Game: Guillotine [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:817]
Eric Mowrer
United States
Vancouver
Washington
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I'm going to regret posting here, but:

"The fast noble is up, so I'll finish him off and then take Marie Antoinette."

Like a dog to his vomit....
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48. Board Game: Torres [Average Rating:7.20 Overall Rank:282]
Francisco Alcala
Mexico
Leon
Guanajuato
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Oh, yes. AT fan. I'm tired of bidding for improvements for a crappy medieval town.
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"As soon as it gets bigger, I'll jump over it"

To a girl, from another girl: "Why you always take the bigger ones? You don't left nothing for me!"
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49. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:107] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
Sean Ahern
United States
Spokane
Washington
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After my wife passed 50 points she asked me, (I was sitting next to the scoreboard) to:

"Honey, flip me on my back."
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50. Board Game: The Big Idea [Average Rating:6.35 Overall Rank:2039]
Dustin Fehr
United States
Salt Lake City
Utah
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"Moistened Tool"
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