Wood For Sheep ... And Other Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't (PG-13)
Jason Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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ALERT: This list is PG-13ish. If you're easily offended or overly sensitive, go read something else
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The concept is simple -- those comments that come up during the course of a game that, when taken out of context, sound dirty or downright disturbing. Maybe I'm just in an impish mood, but it seemed like everything that was said during my last gaming session was screened with my "dirty mind" filter.
Please post your own, but try to keep it PG-13... There's technically nothing offensive here, it's all a matter of interpretation and inference -- and I'd like to keep it that way. And please don't shoot soda out your nose -- it makes the monitor all sticky.
Extra Double Super Secret Karma Points if you read these and immediately recognize the game situation, mechanic or piece that triggers the comment.
What other blue humor comes up during gaming?
What other gaming comments are easily taken out of context?
Ever embarrass yourself in front of company with something like this?
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Various jokes combining meat, bone and fur
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Simon Johnston
United Kingdom
Newport
Isle of Wight
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Although I wouldn't recommend it, you can play with some Eunuch Pawn....
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Myke Madsen
United States
Salt Lake City
Utah
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"Do you have any Hooded, Clean-Shaven Fatties?"
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United States
Houston
Texas
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Great list. Here's two from just last night.
We learned Bohnanza with the old German edition, so we've stilled never learned to call them "beans."
"Will you let me just give you the Blue Bohn?"
"I see somebody needs a Red Bohn."
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United States
Houston
Texas
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I think this game tried for the entendre deliberately, but hey-- works for me.
"Woo hoo! I finally got the rubber pants!"
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Andrew Burton
United States
Bear
Delaware
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"You get a victory point because you beat off the barbarians."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Look at how big his is over there."
"I wonder where he's going to put it."
"Where ever he puts it you'll have to put something bigger in there."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Tanya Hyde is going to blow Rock Bottom's cover."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"...and then the monster turns and eats her."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"I don't think you took enough money for that one. It's pretty big and you're going to feel the hurt later."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Ok, I'll give you two million to use your chick."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"There's some weird stuff in these boxes."
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Benny Moeller
Denmark
Viby J, Aarhus
Unspecified
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The Piling On skill has often been the source for some "interesting" comments...
Specially if a minotaur player piles on a halfling player...
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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[Turn the Tide version]
"Ok, mine goes down so I don't lose a sheep."
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Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"Ok, I think I'm going to make our barbarians go at it."
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"No, you CANNOT have the Red Terror and Old One Eye on the table at the same time..."
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Ignazio De Guglielmi
Italy
Padova, ma anche Schio
Vicenza
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"Elves start active while humans are passive... OUCH!"
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43.
Board Game: Evo
[Average Rating:6.98 Overall Rank:331]
Jesse Miller
United States
Gettysburg
Pennsylvania
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"I really want that horn for my dino" (needs to be combined with strategically placed tiles for full effect. I can't believe that no one has posted pics of the perverted stuff you can do with them.)
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44.
Board Game: Trias
[Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:823]
Darren M
New Zealand
Nelson
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"You've moved twice...so yes you can reproduce now."
(Just like the two going at it on the game box)
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45.
Board Game: Poker
[Average Rating:6.76 Overall Rank:494]
Jason Worron
Canada
Burlington
Ontario
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"I flopped the nuts"
"I'm on the come"
"I'm all in"
"Are you all in?"
"I'm big, you're small"
More then I can count...
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Jack Squat
United States
Ypsilanti
Michigan
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"My rifleman is now erect and will expose himself through this window."
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Eric Mowrer
United States
Gresham
Oregon
Ami. Geek.
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I'm going to regret posting here, but:
"The fast noble is up, so I'll finish him off and then take Marie Antoinette."
Like a dog to his vomit....
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48.
Board Game: Torres
[Average Rating:7.24 Overall Rank:187]
Francisco Alcala
Mexico
Leon
Guanajuato
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"As soon as it gets bigger, I'll jump over it"
To a girl, from another girl: "Why you always take the bigger ones? You don't left nothing for me!"
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Sean Ahern
United States
Spokane
Washington
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After my wife passed 50 points she asked me, (I was sitting next to the scoreboard) to:
"Honey, flip me on my back."
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Dustin Fehr
United States
Salt Lake City
Utah
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"Moistened Tool"
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Parry Sound
Ontario
Manchester
Connecticut
A bunch of friends and I got together for a game of Rock Band. Two of them are newlyweds (to each other). We kept making the joke that the new bride was playing "easy," rather than medium or hard level, and that she should stop because she's married now. *rimshot*
Eventually, I just couldn't take it anymore, turned to my friend (the husband) and said, "James, stop calling her easy. You guys have found your happy medium. It gets hard later on."
Steubenville
Ohio
West Lafayette
Indiana
Hahaha, if I ever get enough geekgold for another microbadge, I'm buying it! Good work sir.
Indiana