Wood For Sheep ... And Other Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't (PG-13)
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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ALERT: This list is PG-13ish. If you're easily offended or overly sensitive, go read something else
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The concept is simple -- those comments that come up during the course of a game that, when taken out of context, sound dirty or downright disturbing. Maybe I'm just in an impish mood, but it seemed like everything that was said during my last gaming session was screened with my "dirty mind" filter.

Please post your own, but try to keep it PG-13... There's technically nothing offensive here, it's all a matter of interpretation and inference -- and I'd like to keep it that way. And please don't shoot soda out your nose -- it makes the monitor all sticky.

Extra Double Super Secret Karma Points if you read these and immediately recognize the game situation, mechanic or piece that triggers the comment.

What other blue humor comes up during gaming?
What other gaming comments are easily taken out of context?
Ever embarrass yourself in front of company with something like this?

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1. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:164]
Jay Little
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Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I've got wood for your sheep"

The classic. The ruler by which all others are measured. This never fails to bring an evil grin to my face.
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2. Board Game: Blokus [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:367]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"It won't fit unless you turn it around"
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3. Board Game: Starfarers of Catan [Average Rating:6.81 Overall Rank:634]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"Hmmm... My balls are black and blue -- is that good?"

and a 2-for-1 special today...

"If it won't fit, don't force it -- I don't want it to snap off"
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4. Board Game: Ricochet Robots [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:435]
Jay Little
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Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"Wow, it's a lot harder than I thought!"
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5. Board Game: PitchCar [Average Rating:7.23 Overall Rank:253]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"What a shot! Did you see how far that went??"
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6. Board Game: Villa Paletti [Average Rating:6.50 Overall Rank:1044]
Jay Little
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Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I might have to use both hands to pull this one out"
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7. Board Game: Twilight Imperium (Third Edition) [Average Rating:7.88 Overall Rank:30]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I've never seen one so big before"
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8. Board Game: Pueblo [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:750]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"Ewww, this looks worse than I thought... I thought I covered that up..."
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9. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.63 Overall Rank:6622]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"Miss Scarlet... in the Conservatory... with the Candlestick??"
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10. Board Game: Fightball [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:5689]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"What, you're done already?"
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11. Board Game: X-Bugs [Average Rating:6.43 Overall Rank:2409]
Jay Little
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Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"How did your hole get all the way over here??"
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12. Board Game: Mutant Chronicles: Siege of the Citadel [Average Rating:6.97 Overall Rank:1199]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I can't believe you nailed him from across the room"
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13. Board Game: Formula Dé [Average Rating:7.00 Overall Rank:411]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"You better hurry up or you'll never finish"
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14. Board Game: Battle Cry [Average Rating:7.18 Overall Rank:403]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I'll probe the center..."
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15. Board Game: History of the World [Average Rating:7.14 Overall Rank:399]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I can't believe you came from behind like that..."
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16. Board Game: Organized Crime [Average Rating:5.68 Overall Rank:8145]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"What kind of protection can you offer?"
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17. Board Game: Cosmic Encounter [Average Rating:6.95 Overall Rank:558]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"You two go at it without me -- I don't want to mess around with the virus..."
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18. Board Game: BANG! [Average Rating:6.62 Overall Rank:727]
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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"I'm gonna' bang the sheriff!"
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19. Board Game: The Princes of Florence [Average Rating:7.63 Overall Rank:62]
Chuck Uherske
United States
Rockville
Maryland
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"How do you want it?"

(We always ask this after a publication -- prestige points or florin, or some combination thereof?)
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20. Board Game: Sleuth [Average Rating:6.84 Overall Rank:766]
Chuck Uherske
United States
Rockville
Maryland
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"Show me your red pairs." or

"Show me your blue pairs." or

"Show me your red clusters." or

"Show me your red pearls."
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21. Board Game: Cape Horn [Average Rating:5.98 Overall Rank:3575]
Denise Patterson-Monroe
United States
Carmel
Indiana
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'So, who's up for some Cape Horn?'

Enunciate less than COMPLETELY clearly and chances are most of your male friends will look at you in a whole new light!!
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22. Board Game: Goa [Average Rating:7.70 Overall Rank:56]
Jake Baker
United States
Fishers
Indiana
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"I'm going down on the colonists."
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23. Board Game: Colossal Arena [Average Rating:6.83 Overall Rank:542]
Chad Winter
United States
Farmington
Utah
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"No, laying the Cherubim on top of the Cyclops doesn't activate him."
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24. Board Game: Catan: Cities & Knights [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked]
Canada
Montreal
Quebec
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I'll spend one wheat to turn on my knight.
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25. Board Game: The El Grande Expansions [Average Rating:7.39 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.39 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.39 Unranked]
shumyum
United States
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♒♒♒♒♎♒♒♒♒ sloooowly sinking
"Who wants to play with my El Grande Expansion?"
(Best said whilst brandishing the King pawn (pictured).)
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