$18.00
GeekGold Bonus for All Supporters: 116.73

7,094 Supporters

$15 min for supporter badge & GeekGold bonus
44.7% of Goal | left

Support:

Recommend
1 
 Thumb up
 Hide
16 Posts

BoardGameGeek» Forums » Everything Else » Religion, Sex, and Politics

Subject: Heroes Protest with Farts at the DNC rss

Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: [View All]
Mr StinkyPants
United States
Massachusetts
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Sanders Fans Plan DNC 'Fart-In' Protest of Clinton Nomination

Dr. Walter H. Tsou had a flash of inspiration and realized the political power of well-timed flatulence in a crowded convention center. Farting is a negotiating tactic as old as negotiating itself (try it in your next job interview) and it's amazing that we don't see the technique implemented more frequently in US Politics. It is obvious that weak-willed opponents will always abandon their political ambitions when faced with an unending torrent of foul anus-emitted gasses.

Farting as a form of protest is the brainchild of noted community organizer and amateur farter, Saul D. Alinsky. Unfortunately, despite his formidable political skills, Saul was an amateur and inconsistent flatulist. His inexperience in the fartist craft led him to use beans as a basis for the farts instead of a more potent foodstuff like kimchi or other fermented cabbage dishes. This inefficient technique was sadly passed down to later conscientious farters, such as Dr. Tsou. Had Saul had the foresight to produce the type of stench required to wow crowds at FartCon, we might be living under President Bernie today. Unfortunately, despite all the positive press received by this event, the bean-based farts were insufficiently potent to bend Hillary Clinton to their will. Did they really think that her reaction to common farts hadn't been dulled thanks to the decades of her marriage to noted flatulent hobbiest Bill Clinton?

Dr. Tsou, next time please reach out to a professional! I would be happy to personally train you in the flatulent arts. My pupils have grown to become some of the greatest farters in the Boston area. You've shown initiative and a love for the power of flatulence. Let me groom you and you'll be able to use your farts to get anyone elected to anything you want!
3 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matthew M
United States
New Haven
Connecticut
flag msg tools
admin
8/8 FREE, PROTECTED
badge
513ers Assemble!
mb
Moved to RSP
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sam I am
United States
Portage
Michigan
flag msg tools
What did I tell you...
badge
NO PICKLE!
mbmbmbmbmb
Preemptive strike. Fart blocking?
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Boaty McBoatface
England
County of Essex
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
What the hell is this, is it for real?
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Jonny Lawless
United States
Bountiful
Utah
flag msg tools
Love my girls!
badge
My name is Glenn! Long have I carried Cyrus's hopes and dreams, and now I bear the Masamune as well! Henceforth, I claim them as my own! I shall slay the Fiendlord Magus and restore our honor!
mbmbmbmbmb
The farts didn't seem to bother Hilary:

5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sam I am
United States
Portage
Michigan
flag msg tools
What did I tell you...
badge
NO PICKLE!
mbmbmbmbmb
I have a copy of Phart! The Dispersing for sale trade if you picked it up you could double your game collection!
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Boaty McBoatface
England
County of Essex
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
jonnylawless wrote:
The farts didn't seem to bother Hilary:

Wheres Bills other hand?
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Boaty McBoatface
England
County of Essex
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
rcbevco wrote:
I have a copy of Phart! The Dispersing for sale trade if you picked it up you could double your game collection!
There is only one way to be sure.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
David Jones
United States
Wilsonville
Oregon
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
I must admit that my knowledge of Saul Alinsky is limited to a few anecdotes taught to me in a Sociology class in college, so others are free to correct me if I am wrong. I was told that he used flatulence at a symphony performance, not a noisy and crowded political hall. Where you criticize his choice of food, you fail to recognize the genius in his choice of targets. Similarly, you have incorrectly identified the smell as the focus of the threat when it was, in fact, the sound. The goal was to disrupt the quietness that is integral to many pieces of classical music. In that vein, it seems unlikely that even the smelliest of farts would be useful on the floor of the DNC. Given the large space, lack of walls, and immensely vaulted ceiling, the gas would easily dissipate. Dr. Tsou's problem had nothing to do with diet, as you appear to suggest, but rather a lack of understanding in how to effectively use the "weapon."
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Daniel
United States
Santee
California
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Octavian wrote:
Moved to RSP


Out of genuine curiosity, WHERE WAS THIS POSTED BEFORE!?
5 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matthew M
United States
New Haven
Connecticut
flag msg tools
admin
8/8 FREE, PROTECTED
badge
513ers Assemble!
mb
Chit Chat
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Octavian wrote:
Chit Chat


When you moved this thread over here... did you light a match first?
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Argyle Mac Sook
Antarctica
Someones foot
Luna
msg tools
My arch enemy is Dr. Dryer. Curse you Dr. Dryer!!!!
mbmbmbmbmb
It's good to see that there are other connoisseurs of the human body and it's various smells.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Lee Fisher
United States
Downingtown
PA
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Don't miss his other chitchat threads.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Scott Russell
United States
Clarkston
Michigan
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
I think the Dems blew it. That kind of discourse is all that is likely to work against Trump and they picked Hillary instead.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Josh
United States
flag msg tools
Nothing happens for a reason, but everything happens by a mechanism
badge
God is a cruel croupier, he dealeth and he taketh away
mbmbmbmbmb
lfisher wrote:
Don't miss his other chitchat threads.
Yeah, it's a deep project
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.