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BoardGameGeek» Forums » Gaming Related » General Gaming

Subject: Gaming etiquette rss

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Donald M.
United States
Sweet Grass
Montana
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Can you relate to things that gamers should not do at a party or while playing games?

Recently I had a gaming party but one particular lady was Using her smartphone half the time texting or doing something.

I felt like taking it away and smashing it to be honest. As she was a friend and a woman I liked I didn't do anything in front of the guests. In retrospect I should have politely asked her to opt out of the game if she was to do that a lot or at least mentioned it to her.

Other people had their cell phones either off or did not answer them when they rang.

Another example of rudeness is players leaving the game when they are losing. I hate that too as it may still affect the outcome or riun the game for others.

One time a young adult woman said she wasn't going to play if you count negative points in Pictomania. She wanted the experience to be "positive". That of course went against the theme of the game. She said that if you don't do that she won't play. Fortunately I just played for the laughs.

People are always trying to change the rules in the middle of the game as they seem to misinterpret and go alpha if it doesn't suit them.

What would you do in these circumstances? Any other examples?
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Steve B
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Gamers should get as drunk as possible and then go to karaoke after every gaming session
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Ray Stantz
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Oiler1 wrote:
Another example of rudeness is players leaving the game when they are losing. I hate that too as it may still affect the outcome or riun the game for others.


This would be a huge no no for me and if it did happen I'd likely never play a game with that person again.
Fortunately it hasn't happened.
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Reed Dawley
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Does no one else have a cell phone jammer? I mean, I don't because illegal, but just saying...
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Florian Woo
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IMCarnochan wrote:
Does no one else have a cell phone jammer? I mean, I don't because illegal, but just saying...
Just play in a low enough basement.
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Jan
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The guys from Shut Up & Sit Down made a really good point about that kind of behavior: if that's the way that person has the best time playing a game you should consider letting it happen. If it distracts them from the game that's another thing and you should mention it. If it simply annoys you but doesn't has much of an impact on the flow of the game just live with it. I know it's hard...my girlfriend can't watch a single movie without checking her phone and there was a time I was thinking about commiting a crime because of that. But now I am better person, I can watch people checking their smartphones without imagining them having an accident.
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Meeple1 wrote:
Oiler1 wrote:
Another example of rudeness is players leaving the game when they are losing. I hate that too as it may still affect the outcome or riun the game for others.


This would be a huge no no for me and if it did happen I'd likely never play a game with that person again.
Fortunately it hasn't happened.


I do that sometimes. Not because I'm not going to lose, but because I hate the game or simply find it so boring, that it's a waste of my time, and I would rather watch people play something else.

Gaming should be something you enjoy, not something you force yourself to do. If you don't enjoy playing, I believe it is better you leave the table and let the other players enjoy them without having to tolerate your sorry, saddened, bored face
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Robbert Vervuurt
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Oiler1 wrote:

[..]

One time a young adult woman said she wasn't going to play if you count negative points in Pictomania. She wanted the experience to be "positive". That of course went against the theme of the game. She said that if you don't do that she won't play. Fortunately I just played for the laughs.
[..]



Welcome to 2016...

I don't know the game, but I guess you just started the game with everyone on 80VP, so it was impossible to go negative?
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Robbert Vervuurt
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Razoupaf wrote:
Meeple1 wrote:
Oiler1 wrote:
Another example of rudeness is players leaving the game when they are losing. I hate that too as it may still affect the outcome or riun the game for others.


This would be a huge no no for me and if it did happen I'd likely never play a game with that person again.
Fortunately it hasn't happened.


I do that sometimes. Not because I'm not going to lose, but because I hate the game or simply find it so boring, that it's a waste of my time, and I would rather watch people play something else.

Gaming should be something you enjoy, not something you force yourself to do. If you don't enjoy playing, I believe it is better you leave the table and let the other players enjoy them without having to tolerate your sorry, saddened, bored face


I'm hoping you don't do this WHILE playing a game? If you started a game, you finish it and just try your best to win. A big no-no is if you stay and try to kill the game by playing as shitty as possible. If you can't stand losing, you shouldn't start on a (non-coop) game.
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Simona Dostalova
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Some people can still pay attention even when fiddling with their phone. If that is the case, I don't care, go ahead and play with your phone. What I find rude is when people don't pay attention. For any reason - playing with phone, talking to someone, "meerkating", etc. Even worse when it is a person who has AP. One time, I played a game with a guy who did not pay attention at all. And each time it was his turn, he would just look at the map (as if it wasn't there before) and started analysing. He analysed for so long, my friend and I also did something very rude - we played a game of Gwixx during his turns. We just could not take it anymore. He did not even noticed. Yes, he won the big game. But I don't ever want to play with that person anymore.


Someone mentioned leaving during a game. I had this happen to me while playing TI3. A guy made a mistake early and got wiped off the board. He just left. It was a very bad experience. On the other hand, I find it even worse when a person constantly complains during a game he plays for a first time that he doesn't like it. Just leave your feelings to yourself until the game is over, don't leave and do your best to have the highest possible score.
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Paul DeStefano
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Oiler1 wrote:
What would you do in these circumstances?


If something they do bothers you, simply don't invite them back.
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Stephanie Prince
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Lacombe
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IMCarnochan wrote:
Does no one else have a cell phone jammer? I mean, I don't because illegal, but just saying...


Ordered one, but it got seized at the border.
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Osiris Saline
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Re: new players misinterpreting rules.

I've had this happen a lot when teaching people games, and I've misinterpreted rules so many times while paying attention it's unbelievable. I go with the misinterpreted rule change unless it's ruining another player's fun.

Rules are suggestions on how to play a game socially for me, especially with new players. Mentioning that you should play to the rulebook next game is fine, and reminding players of that before starting said next game reinforces this, but it's not a big deal.

To be honest, as someone who's played games seriously for a decade and a half (mid-20s so y'know) allowing people to feel comfortable around a game is necessary. The person saying they wanted to dismiss negative points in Pictomania may be missing an element of the game but is probably the type of player I'd side with. If people new to the game are struggling with it then you change the rules to cater to them until they are comfortable. There is zero point in isolating newer players for the false sanctity of rules.

Much the same as allowing losing players to leave (with some agreed points so remaining players aren't screwed over) should they feel bored or overwhelmed. No one should be forced to sit at a table of Twlight Imperium if they lose any chance of influencing the game in the first hour.

Rules can be taught, changed, left out, brought back in, at any time once a few games are under everyone's belts. Lost players will generally not come back to a game, and that's so much worse than some irritation for a game or two.

 
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Richard Keiser

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slprince wrote:
IMCarnochan wrote:
Does no one else have a cell phone jammer? I mean, I don't because illegal, but just saying...


Ordered one, but it got seized at the border.


You will know if you broke etiquette rules by the non-invitation for future sessions. Gaming is a social event, and what everyone considers acceptable behavior differs. To me, it is like a F2F conversation by humans above the age of five - there are things that you do, and things you don't do. It really is simple.
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Cannon Wolf
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I don't care if it's board gaming or anything else; if I invite someone to my house for a social evening I expect them to actually interact with other humans present.
If they spend most of their time on the phone, I'm going to call them out on it.
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ackmondual
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If people have kids and/or spouses to deal with at home, I wouldn't mind if they checked on that, so to "confiscate" phones or have a zero tolerance policy on them isn't something I'd advocate. Even before phones, folks who were easily distracted have found other ways to distract themselves, so it's not like that helps anything.


I've had cases where rules changes were suggested and done. If it's a party game, then I generally don't care, as in that case, it's more about being with the people and the social situation then the game (if at all)
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Steve B
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I hate when people bring xylophones to board game meetups, and then during your turn they just sit dinging on their xylophone under the table the whole time. Usually the songs are terrible too.
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CARL SKUTSCH
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Check out Clockwork Wars. It's a pretty darn good dudes on a hex map Euro'ish steampunk game. Quick and fun.
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Cell phones at the table don't bother me that much. As long as the player is maintaining enough focus on the game to play well, I'm fine. Some of the cell phone complainers seem like the "you kids get off my damn lawn!" types. Look, they're addictive, you don't get it, try to live and let live. Of course, if the phone checking gets too crazy and interferes with the game then it crosses over into rudeness and something should probably be said.

Leaving in the middle of a game? Almost never acceptable. Unless you're playing some horrible activity game, where the various players don't really matter (like Cards Against Humanity), you play the game out to the bitter end. Well, mostly. I left a Monopoly game once because I just couldn't stand it any more (yes, they were playing with Free Parking). I gave my stuff to my kid and sat back and had some nachos. However I plead Monopoly.

Alpha gamers changing the rules? Uh, they're the rules. You don't change the rules. Obviously there are exceptions here, but rules changes should be agreed to by all parties and not be bulldozed by any one gamer.

Who are these people you are gaming with? I get together with some people. We pull out a game. We play the game. We may chat a little, check our phones now and then, but we focus on the game. We play it by the rules. Nobody leaves in the middle of the game. Game over, fun had (usually). Walking out of games, demanding rules changes, other rudeness, it's no more acceptable at a game night than is rudeness at any other social gathering.
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nat tact
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Gaming etiquette/life skills

If someone does something that bothers you just say that it bothers you.

Example 1. For some people bridging cards is fine to me it's not so I say hey can you not bridge my cards please? If they are a dick then I don't play with them again, if they respect me and my game then I play with them again.

Example 2. At my game nights if someone doesn't get drunk enough because they have to drive home I say hey, next time can you bring enough cash for an uber? If they respect me and my game nights then they will be able to call an uber next time.
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Eric Pullen

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I (A) am aware I am a jerk, (B) buy every game my group plays, (C) host the games, (D) am generally responsible for teaching the games, and (E) more often than not leave it up to the other members of the group to decide what we play. As a result, the following issues are probably, at least to some degree, my own fault...

Speak up when it's your turn. Don't sit there and be a wallflower and then complain if your turn is skipped.

If, during your turn, a rules question pops up, and you have a copy of the rules yourself, don't look at me expecting me and me alone to research the rules. Pitch in, many hands make light work.

If you want to debate every rule and "creatively interpret" cards, rules, powers, etc. in your favor, in such a way that no other rule, mechanic, principle, concept, etc. of said game even remotely reasonably supports, I will address your position with the consideration and respect it deserves. There's a difference between being confused over a rule, card, etc. and being a prick.


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Chris
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I have kids and a fairly decent job that I am expected to be somewhat plugged in, so I need my phone with me. If it rings or I get a text I am going to check it. It could be my kids or work. I will check my phone and if it's not important I will continue with the game. If it is important I will excuse myself to deal with it.

If that bothers you then too bad. Life is more important than pushing card board bits around on a table.

I would also suggest that this issue some BGG'ers have with phones is irrational. Saying you wanted to smash someone' else's phone? Sounds like an anger issue the OP needs to address. The issue isn't the phone, it's whether you pay attention or not. Like other people said, you can not pay attention without the help of a phone.

If someone displays inappropriate behavior at the table, discuss it with them and/or the group. I assume everyone is a mature adult and can handle that.
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Shaun Morris
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skutsch wrote:
Cell phones at the table don't bother me that much. As long as the player is maintaining enough focus on the game to play well, I'm fine. Some of the cell phone complainers seem like the "you kids get off my damn lawn!" types. Look, they're addictive, you don't get it, try to live and let live. Of course, if the phone checking gets too crazy and interferes with the game then it crosses over into rudeness and something should probably be said.

Leaving in the middle of a game? Almost never acceptable. Unless you're playing some horrible activity game, where the various players don't really matter (like Cards Against Humanity), you play the game out to the bitter end. Well, mostly. I left a Monopoly game once because I just couldn't stand it any more (yes, they were playing with Free Parking). I gave my stuff to my kid and sat back and had some nachos. However I plead Monopoly.

Alpha gamers changing the rules? Uh, they're the rules. You don't change the rules. Obviously there are exceptions here, but rules changes should be agreed to by all parties and not be bulldozed by any one gamer.

Who are these people you are gaming with? I get together with some people. We pull out a game. We play the game. We may chat a little, check our phones now and then, but we focus on the game. We play it by the rules. Nobody leaves in the middle of the game. Game over, fun had (usually). Walking out of games, demanding rules changes, other rudeness, it's no more acceptable at a game night than is rudeness at any other social gathering.


I agree with this 100%.

My group has had people leave mid-game but it was toward the end of the night and it was understood that there was a possibility they'd have to leave mid-game before the game was started. We've also had people request a change in game when they just weren't enjoying the game at all. Mysterium last week is a good point. It was our first time playing it and as it was an atypical game night, there was a LOT more talking than usual so one of the guys got frustrated and suggested we change to a game we were more familiar with. We did and everyone was cool and had fun playing the new game.

I'm one of the worst offenders with the phone. I'm required to have my phone one and with me at all times due to work. Which also means if the phone chirps, dings, chimes, or otherwise makes a noise, I've got to look to see what it is in case it's work related.
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Shaun Morris
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nathairday wrote:
Gaming etiquette/life skills

If someone does something that bothers you just say that it bothers you.

Example 1. For some people bridging cards is fine to me it's not so I say hey can you not bridge my cards please? If they are a dick then I don't play with them again, if they respect me and my game then I play with them again.

Example 2. At my game nights if someone doesn't get drunk enough because they have to drive home I say hey, next time can you bring enough cash for an uber? If they respect me and my game nights then they will be able to call an uber next time.


Example 2 is excellent. You'd be right at home in my group.
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nat tact
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morris9597 wrote:
nathairday wrote:
Gaming etiquette/life skills

If someone does something that bothers you just say that it bothers you.

Example 1. For some people bridging cards is fine to me it's not so I say hey can you not bridge my cards please? If they are a dick then I don't play with them again, if they respect me and my game then I play with them again.

Example 2. At my game nights if someone doesn't get drunk enough because they have to drive home I say hey, next time can you bring enough cash for an uber? If they respect me and my game nights then they will be able to call an uber next time.


Example 2 is excellent. You'd be right at home in my group.


Haha. I think gaming is more fun when people are drunk. Once people are drunk depending on the group play co-ops or very cut throat games. It's wonderful.
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Geoffrey Burrell
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Cedar Rapids
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My group is courteous, respectful, and sober.
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