History class was wrong: a Chrononauts session report | Chrononauts

Barteus Maximus

(barteus)

United States
Parsons
Kansas

Session report for Chrononauts. Players: Mark (ID: Johnson), Vito (ID: Mojo), Rob (ID: Dale/Yitzchak)

What you learned in high school history class is wrong. You see, you were taught that there was a prolonged world peace in 1945. And that, oddly enough, Zeppelins were made in Seoul, South Korea. This isn’t the way things were supposed to be. It was Johnson’s fault. I guess you could call me a whistle blower. My name is Yitzchak. At least it is now. I used to be Dale until my parents never met. Confused? I suppose I must begin my time travel story – ironically – at the beginning, if such a thing exists.

There were three of us who worked at the Time Travel Agency: Dale (that’s me), Mojo and Johnson. Johnson, for reasons only he knew, started this cascade of events by fast forwarding time (which in this case was backwards… don’t ask…), preventing John Lennon from being killed. Lennon went on to be a Senator and later repealed the 2nd Amendment and banned guns. Mojo then went back in time and assassinated Hitler. I stared a Time Vortex, which further scrambled things.

Johnson tried to patch the timeline by making marijuana legal in 1986. Mojo responded by killing time. I went back to restore history and made sure Hitler lived.

Johnson fast forwarded again (backwards…), halted the attack on Pearl Harbor and then changed 1945 so that the Nazis win World War II (what is with this guy? First he kills Hitler and then makes sure the Nazis win…). Mojo then took a quick trip and assassinated Hitler again. I had enough of that timeline and decided if we were going to mess things up, then I should do it for my own gain. I obtained Shakespeare’s last play. It really wasn’t very good, something about Mona and a Dragon, but it should be valuable nonetheless.

Johnson reversed fate and saved the Hindenburg from exploding. Mojo must have not liked me – he altered the timeline and made sure my parents never met. Now, instead of Dale, I am Yitzchak. I went way back and captured the creation of the universe on Betamax tape.

Johnson killed time. Mojo tried to get there first and take the Shakespeare play before I arrived, but I got a note from my future self and stopped him. I then stopped the Manhattan Project from being completed.

Johnson patched the timeline by having Germany repeal the race laws in 1942. Mojo once again tried to get there first and steal the Shakespeare play and he was successful. However, I went further back in time and made sure it never existed. If I couldn’t have it, no one could.

Johnson obtained Emily the brontosaurus from 149 million BC, Mojo killed time and I also obtained a dinosaur – his name is Steggy – from 151 million BC.

Johnson decided to change the timeline so Berlin would host the World’s Fair in 1948. Mojo killed time. As fan of Lincoln, I changed history so that he would not be assassinated.

Johnson saw the Warsaw Olympics in 1944 (with Hitler gone, all kinds of things are different). Mojo went back and sabotaged the Hinderburg so that it would explode. I always though the Mona Lisa was a nice painting, so I obtained the real copy.

Johnson restored history by making sure Lennon was murdered. Mojo averted disaster by saving the Hindenburg and I killed time.

Johnson restored history by assassinating Lincoln, Mojo prevented assassination and saved him. I patched history by making sure the Germans had great cake available at their pavilion at the New York World’s Fair. (Don’t ask, you had to be there for this one).

Johnson then arranged things so Seoul became the world factory headquarters for Zeppelin manufacturing in 1950. Mojo obtained the crown of thorns and I reversed fate and made sure the Waco standoff was resolved peacefully.

Johnson went forward in time and obtained a future sports almanac from 2051. Mojo obtained an obvious forgery of the Mona Lisa. And, although I probably shouldn’t admit it, I precipitated events that lead to World War III and the end of mankind in 1962.

Johnson then reversed fate for the Manhattan Project (making sure World War III didn’t happen), Mojo averted disaster and Titanic arrived safely, while I obtained the Rongo Rongo tablets from 1865.

Johnson then made World Peace in 1945, Mojo killed time and I obtained the Lost Ark of the Covenant from 587 BC.

Johnson then reversed fate and ensured Lincoln’s assassination. After this, he came back to the present time and inexplicably yelled, “I won! Johnson was impeached in 1868, World Peace was established in 1945 and Seoul opened a Zeppelin factory in 1950! I won!”. After this outburst, he smashed the time machine.

So, you see, that is my story. How Johnson changed what you think you know. But take comfort. At least if you got a “D” or “F” in history class, you might be more correct than you know….