Trent Howell
United States
Utah
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A recent global study shows that 73% of children would prefer playing with their parents over TV.
The same study reports that 45% of parents feel they don't have enough time to play with their children. And also that 46% of parents admit to feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their kids.
So the big question is - what can parents do to get over the hurdle and play with their kids?
Since this is a game forum, we believe the majority here are playing games with their kids. So what tips do you have for others?
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Jason
United States
Arnold
Missouri
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Quote: 46% of parents admit to feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their kids.
That part is more sad to me than the rest of it...only 46%?
We engage the kids in other activities outside of games, though we do play our fair share of games with them. They help us in the little garden we have and other gardening activities, we go fishing, biking, camping, they help with making dinner (sometimes)...all sorts of outdoors stuff. We rarely let them "veg out" (though it happens every few weeks we let them "veg out" on a Friday or Saturday night if we've nothing really planned). Granted, my kids are getting to the point where they don't want us to hang around them all the time, they'd rather be out biking or playing basketball, or baseball or something with the neighborhood kids.
Heck, other times we declare a family reading night, we all pile into our bed with a book, nothing like laying face down reading and having the 7 year old sprawled out over your back reading, a 9 year old using you as a pillow reading and the teenager attempting to kick us all out of the bed because he's orny that way. 
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Aaron Maracle
Canada
Unspecified
OverText is such a 23rd centruy fad.
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My approach is simple: You make time. No excuses.
I completely agree with the study. At the mere mention of "do you want to play a game", my girls are all ready making a beeline to the game closet.
During the school year, my family only has about an hour a night where we are not occupied (during the week). Between getting home, doing supper and everything else, there is not much "wiggle room" for family time... but that free hour each night is used for family time. It does not matter how tired I am or what tasks I have to do on a give night. While my kids are awake and there is time to spare, we spend it together.
Granted, an hour does not give us time to get into any marathon gaming sessions, but this is what filler games were meant for. Play something quick and keep rotating the choices so it doesn't get old. It's not what you play with your kids that counts; its the fact that your ARE playing with your kids.
As for weekends, set time aside and mark it on the calender as "marathon family game night". It does not have to be every weekend, but make the effort to keep it fairly regular. Get the whole family involve and let the kids plan what games they want to play.
Don't forget that time spent waiting is time that can be spent playing. If you at a restaurant, at the doctor's office or even in the car, you have a chance to play a game. Granted, it may not be complicated or deep (e.g. I Spy, Tic Tac Toe, 20 Questions, Go Fish), but a game is a game.
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Larry Welborn
United States
Anderson
South Carolina
Way to go, Bubba.
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Wyll wrote: My approach is simple: You make time. No excuses.
Exactly. After work, I spend time with the kids until their bedtime. That means checking homework, letting them read to me, going to activities, and yes, gaming. Sometimes the kids want to do things on their own, such as play with the neighboring children, ride bikes, and that's fine. But if they want to do something with me, I'm available.
After they go to bed is when my wife and I straighten up the house, watch televison, read, rest, etc.
It is too easy to come home from work and say you are too tired to do anything.
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Tanks Alot
United States
Fort Mill
South Carolina
www.facebook.com/HistoricalBoardGames
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I used to hate playing games with my Dad. It was never fun and he never showed me how to do stuff. I think he thought I would learn by getting beat. I just learned not to play. The funny thing is about 3 years ago I really started discovering this "different" sort of board game. Semi historical games. So it wasnt so much about the game as much as it was learning history while I play and taking my experiences with history and exploring them with games. The kids (now 16 boy 14 girl) liked the lighter stuff. Then they ran when they saw me haha.
It's always good, to find something that interests them like Stars Wars, or Dungeons and Dragons. My biggest issue with that is my son and I have so totally different taste in the heavier board games. My daughter and wife do not like any game where you have to think LOL.
So I have found some good in between games, like Ticket to Ride and Mexican Dominoes that seem to do well for everyone. Games like Pandemic are so great for a family cause everyone helps each other. The problem with each game is you have to be interested in the subject of the game, at least for us. We have such a mix in taste. Wife is a sports nut, Im a history nut, son is a fantasy nut, and daughter likes trouble and sorry LOL. Sooo long story short, games like Apples to Apples and dictionary always work best for us.
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Christopher Hill
United States
Wilmington
North Carolina
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In my house the question is "How can you get kids to play with their parents more?"
My two oldest kids never were much into board games and although my youngest son will play occasionaly, he still would rather break out his X-Box.
'sigh'
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Jason
United States
Arnold
Missouri
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theredtree wrote: Wired_Wolf wrote: Quote: 46% of parents admit to feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their kids. That part is more sad to me than the rest of it...only 46%? Maybe the other 54% are like me, who spends lots of time with his kid and is happy about the amount?
Nah, the way I read that is that of those polled that feel they don't spend enough time with their kids only 46% of those feel guilty about it.
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Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Quote: A recent global study shows that 73% of children would prefer playing with their parents over TV.
When I was in Junior High my dad finally agreed to play Civil War miniatures with me during a weekend visit to my grandparent's home.
It is one of my happiest childhood memories.
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Craig Somerton
Australia
North Ryde
NSW
This text unintentionally left blank
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I indoctrinated our kids, and their friends, and even some of their friends. I must admit, it's nice when your teenage kids tell you that their friends think you are so cool for finding such excellent games.
Now my wife and I are looking forward to grand kids (hopefully off into the future) so we can have a whole new generation to teach and play games with.
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Richard Pomeroy
United States
Chester Springs
Pennsylvania
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Just sit down and play.
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Jakto Hi'tidi
United States
oklahoma city
Oklahoma
Utinni!
Utinni!
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Turn off the TV
You'll be amazed how much free time you really have. I cut mine off years ago, and haven't missed it.
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Aeos James
Australia
Townsville
Queensland
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Just do it and play games you're kids want to play. I have young kids who always want to do something. My sons are 5 and 3. Finding a game that suits them both is a challenge but if you do you're research they are out there. A game rating based on age in addition to normal ratings would make this a lot easier. So YES stuff the memetics and DO IT! We all have the same time in our days, if you feel guilty for not spending time with your kids chances are you have an excuse for everything.
I was told once that if you want to get something done "Ask a busy man" that way it will get done. Ironically people that say they're too busy are usually busy thinking up excuses! Or worse still have their priorities wrong. What could be more important then investing in your future! Kids are priceless.
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David Spitzley
United States
Belleville
Michigan
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TheBoardGameFamily wrote: A recent global study shows that 73% of children would prefer playing with their parents over TV.
The same study reports that 45% of parents feel they don't have enough time to play with their children. And also that 46% of parents admit to feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their kids.
So the big question is - what can parents do to get over the hurdle and play with their kids?
Since this is a game forum, we believe the majority here are playing games with their kids. So what tips do you have for others?
Any chance of getting a source for the study in question?
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I think it's easy to sit back and judge the parents in the poll who don't play with their kids, but unfortunately the reality is that most kids today are really overscheduled. My kids don't watch TV at all, but once they start full-day school, they don't get home until 4:30 pm. Parents fix dinner, they play. Everyone eats and helps clean up afterwards. Homework has to be attended to. Lo and behold, it's time to start the daily ritual of bedtime books and tucking in. And those are the days with no afterschool activities. We try to keep these to a minimum, but religious education takes up a full evening, and so do piano lessons.
My kids are young, and they need the early bedtime, so I hope gradually we find it easier to fit in family activities during the week. For us, it is hard enough to find time for our extremely active kids to get exercise and (god forbid) unstructured free time for playing. I love the summers, when we have so much time together. And I love the preschool years, when games and books can fill up our afternoons (as well as hikes, biking and legos). But school just sucks most of that time away.
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Trent Howell
United States
Utah
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Dspitzle wrote:
Any chance of getting a source for the study in question?
Yes - it's from The Play Report that was sponsored by IKEA.
www.theplayreport.org
or
http://www.facebook.com/playreport
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BT Carpenter
United States
Reston
Virginia
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TheBoardGameFamily wrote: So the big question is - what can parents do to get over the hurdle and play with their kids??
Make it a priority and do it.
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A Derk appears from the mists...
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Interesting stats. I wish humans weren't so human, so you could rely on answers like that...
Anyway, I know this sounds self serving, but the ignorance of the general population (both adults and kids) toward the greater world of board gaming is the key. Until people are a bit more educated about what a night of board gaming can offer, that ignorance will continue and studies like this will reflect it.
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Matthew Dickinson
United States
Unspecified
New Jersey
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The parents have to decide that they want it. Once they realize the benefits of social interaction, problem solving, conflict resolution, verbal skills, math skills, etc. that games can provide, it should be hard to keep them away!
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Guy Riessen
United States
petaluma
California
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123ABC wrote: I think it's easy to sit back and judge the parents in the poll who don't play with their kids
Indeed, and in many instances one of the parents has to work in order to support the rest of the family. I know of more than one family where one parent doesn't get home until well after bedtime during the week. They all get to be together on the weekends at least, but should they actually feel guilty? In particular when one parent supports the other so that the other can stay home with the kids (my daughter is 6, and therefore my 'parental circle' is made up of parents of young kids). And beyond that there are a whole lot of reasons, and good ones, why a parent might not feel guilty but instead feel that it is unavoidable. Could you manage to be more unjustly judgmental?
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Ryan Gatti
United States
Portland
Oregon
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I don't want to say it, but the simple answer is: You can't.
I think that parents that are inclined to make it a priority to play with their kids are already doing so. The rest will continue to feel guilty about it until it's either too late (their kids are either too old, or have learned to be... self-sufficient?), or something cataclysmic happens that finally makes the reevaluate their priorities.
But whatever it is, you really can't force people to do the right thing (unless you happen to be their boss, in which case, you might have a chance if you force them to focus more on their family than work . . . but then, you might not be the boss too much longer if you do that too often.).
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Chris Morse
Wales
Merthyr Tydfil
not the nose, not the nose!!!
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Great_Mazinga wrote: Turn off the TV
You'll be amazed how much free time you really have. I cut mine off years ago, and haven't missed it.
This would be my number 1 answer. I'm not in the minority by not having TV. (We have DVD etc for movies but no outside broadcast/sky etc).
It's amazing how much time the box will eat up of your lives. An hour a night? 2 hours? 3? 4?
All time that can be used to do more creative things.
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Inka van Helvoirt
Netherlands
Vlijmen
Noord brabant
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Board gaming is about interacting, being together and spending time with each other.
When i was young my father worked a lot so he was away very often. But during the weekends (Friday/Saturday) we always sat down and played games together. I remember that i loved it. I loved playing games and spending some "real"time with my parents. I mean, you can always watch TV together.. But its different than playing games. There is interaction, fun, and as a kid you learn about winning and losing. ( i know my parents let me win sometimes, but not always  )
But also as a parent you learn a lot about ur kids when you play with them.
In my opinion playing boardgames is one of the best (inside the house) things to do with ur kids!
Knowing the time you gonna spend with ur kids might be short. ( i mean when they get older they probably prefer spending time in the club, instead of playing boardgames with their old dad).
Take that time to enjoy ur kids as much as possible. Their is a whole life time ahead of that while you can sit down and watch tv. So don't spend that time on tv while you have ur kids still around.
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Indeed depriving them is depriving Yourself of a great bonding experience. The good SDJ games can give families a very very rewarding experience. Not Hasbro game night though...
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J. Jefferson
United States
Columbus
Ohio
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Wyll wrote: My approach is simple: You make time. No excuses.
Do you have any advice that's not specifically for the Time Lord community?
Seriously though, I think I draw a different conclusion from the study. 45% of parents feel that they don't have enough time to play with their kids. I can't imagine myself ever not being in that group. I could win the lottery, quit my job, and play with my kid for 8 hours a day, and I'd probably wish I had one more hour each day.
I agree with the general sentiment that more time playing games with kids is better, but I gotta go to work, pay the mortgage, make dinner, etc. I'd rather be in a statistic for wishing I had more time to play than for letting my kid go hungry because I decided to play games rather than go to work. I'd be more worried if most parents thought they had plenty of time to play with their kids.
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J. Jefferson
United States
Columbus
Ohio
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derk wrote: the ignorance of the general population (both adults and kids) toward the greater world of board gaming is the key.
Well why don't you do something about it? Oh . . . wait . . . keep up the good work!
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Posted Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:15 pm
