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Subject: Never Ending Story rss

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Andrew Meadow
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where they make the play-doh."

"What will we need that for?" asked Larry.

"You'll see" said the Little Man, and he led them down the path, past the GI Joes, the Nerf Guns, even the Weebles...

"Are you sure you don't want some of those Weebles for the plan? I mean, they wobble but the don't fall down." said Larry.

"nope, just you wait" said the Little Man. And with that a...
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Jeremy Kratochwill
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life sized model of Jar Jar Binks stepped into their path.

"Gah!!" screamed both Larry and the little man. (Jinx!)

"Please, don't worry, I'm here to help you," squeeked the Jar Jar Binks model.
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Andrew Meadow
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"no, we don't need it" said Larry, and the two continued on their way.

But Jar Jar can't take no for an answer so...
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Lance Peterson
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so they continued through the Hasbro HQ, entered the warehouse and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the floor to ceiling shelves full of My Little Pony Rainbow Dash dolls. Just seconds later, Jar Jar turns the corner and plows into The Little Man ...
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Andrew Meadow
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"me so sorry!" exclaimed the annoying Gungan.

"shhhhhhhh" said the Little Man. It was Larry's worst fear, being followed by Jar Jar Binks when silence was of the utmost importance.
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Lance Peterson
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So the unlikely trio slunked through the shelves holding thousands of Rainbow Dash dolls. "Was one of these the spawn of Cthulhu?" thought Larry. Maybe we could feed Jar Jar to it and make a getaway. Legions of Star Wars fans would sing our names in praise, we would be heroes!

Shaking his head Larry thought "the stress must be getting to me".

As quietly as they could they passed the shelves and made it to the vast supply of Play-Doh ...
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Jeremy Kratochwill
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"Wait, I can help you," pleaded Jar Jar. It's Colin Powell, his GI Joe didn't sell, he walks the hallways, always saying his quotes. He particularly likes the Play Doh area."

Just then, a shadowy figure rounded the corner. "It's nice to say let's be bipartisan. But we're a partisan nation. We were raised as a partisan nation."

"No, not politics!" screamed Larry and the Little Man. (Jinx!)
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Lance Peterson
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Larry and The Little Man ran as fast as they could, because politics might even be worse than Rainbow Dash Spawn of Cthulhu, and maybe even Cthulhu himself. But they were wrong.

They turned a corner and came to a screeching stop in sight of utmost horror. An eldritch horror to damage the very soul of our 2 intrepid adventurers. A massive, gargantuan aisle of .... Monopoly games!!!
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Andy Andersen
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They both reached for matches and suddenly realized they had stopped smoking and had none to light the offending tower.
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Chad
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But luckily the games all fell over and they landed on Jar Jar and Colin Powell, this was such as force that it killed Jar Jar and Colin Powell with no chance of them ever coming back to life again! But really the games didn't fall over, they were pushed over, and standing behind the games is . . . .
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Roy Romasanta
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the Hasbro branch of Larry's favorite board game store.....
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Jeremy Kratochwill
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and Chuck Norris!

"What are you youngin's doing here," drawled Chuck Norris. "Rich Uncle Pennybags and I were about to enjoy cupcakes from his custom Easy Bake Oven, when all this commotion made them go flat. Where I come from, that's unforgivable. Explain yourselves!"
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Andrew Meadow
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The Little Man got flustered in front of one of his favorite celebrities, "Mr Norris, I'm really sorry about your cupcakes, it's just that... Rainbow Dash and Jar Jar Binks, Colin Powell, time rift, Dairy Queen, head eating, latin infused jazz... it's just, just"

"woah, slow down their partner" Chuck said. "You mean to tell me that the spawn of Cthulhu came back through a time rift, took the form of Rainbow Dash, bit off your head, terrorized a Dairy Queen and left you here to try and devise a plan to stop him with Jar Jar Binks and Colin Powell?"

Larry looked on in shock. "how did he know all of that?" he thought "I mean, he is Chuck Norris, but still, this seems strange..."

Then without warning...
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J Fro
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I just want to say, God, on behalf of all of us thank you for all of the good things we do in your name, like charity and forgiveness. That’s an idea we would never come up with. That’s for sure. You know that better than anybody.
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... a computerized voice filled the room," I am the TI 9000 MAINFRAME, sower of discord! You shall..."
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Andrew Meadow
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...receive all the help you need from me"

"wow, well that's helpful" said the Little Man.

"We don't need your help" Chuck Norris answered while frantically looking around the room.

"wait, Chuck, don't get ahead of yourself..." said Larry.

"no... no, no, no..." said Chuck, "it's obviously a trick, no computer voice ever chimes in from out of nowhere and offers help".

Larry thought for a moment about what Chuck said before coming up with a calculated response "you know Chuck...
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Lance Peterson
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there was that episode of Karate Kommandos where you had to retrieve the computer chip that Claw stole. Maybe this is that chip's turn to help you!
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Andrew Meadow
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"hey yah! I loved that episode!" the still star-struck Little Man chimed in. "Hey Chuck, you should give the T-whatever-it-was a chance!"

But something was happening to Chuck, at that very moment he...
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Lance Peterson
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seemed to go into a daze, staring blankly into the distance. Larry and The Little Man turned to see what could possibly affect Chuck Norris so.

And they spied Lothar coming toward them out of a cinematic fog, the BFG 9000 hanging at his side with smoke still swirling from the barrel. Barely audible, Lothar said "I wasn't planning on ...
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Tracy Cobbs
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some sort of Spanish Inquisition."

Suddenly Cardinal Ximenez burst into the room and shouted, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
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J Fro
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I just want to say, God, on behalf of all of us thank you for all of the good things we do in your name, like charity and forgiveness. That’s an idea we would never come up with. That’s for sure. You know that better than anybody.
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..peeking around the corner Jfro shouts out "That is MY LINE!" and as he shrinks back into the shadows...
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Lance Peterson
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"It was horrible" said Lothar. I had no idea what the Spanish Inquisition was capable of. What they did to Rainbow Dash Spawn of Cthulhu is just to horrendous to recall.

"Well", said Chuck Norris. I know exactly how to handle this...
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Chad
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he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a spoon. "This is no ordinary spoon, it is magical! He hold the spoon in both hands over his head and then . . . .
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Lance Peterson
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plunges it into the ground, causing a rift to open in the warehouse floor which swallows the Spainish Inquisition whole, sending them to place where they rightfully belong.

"Wow!" says Larry. I didn't know you could do that with a spoon. "I doubt if you could" said The Little Man, "you're not Chuck Norris". Larry didn't hear him though. His attention was fixed toward the very angry Rainbow Dash Spawn of Cthulhu that had just appeared from a aisle in the distance.
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Andrew Meadow
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"Ok, what do we do?" Larry said in a panic.

"Maybe we should offer him a carrot" said the Little Man, "horses love carrots!"

Chuck Norris didn't say anything, he ran straight towards Rainbow Dash with his spoon held high.

Larry thought "well this can't be good..."

And it wasn't.
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Rainbow Dash Spawn of Cthulhu's jaw unhinged and swallowed Chuck Norris in one gulp. The burp that followed shook the building on it's foundation.

Larry, wide-eyed, looked to the Little Man and said...
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