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Jim Patching
United Kingdom
Cardiff
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One of Marshal Arkan’s sons is due to be knighted this year. This in itself isn’t unusual – in his youth Arkan was a randy so and so and has a conveyor belt of sons marching steadfastly towards knighthood (in fact, it would be more newsworthy if he didn’t have a son being knighted this year). No, the important thing this time is the company this latest son shares at his knighting ceremony.
Two of King Arthur’s sons are also due to be knighted - Borre and Loholt. Both of these lads are technically illegitimate, having been fathered during the year when Arthur first drew the sword from the stone and became king (long before the time of Queen Guenivere), but Arthur has recognised them as his offspring.
Do you remember the May Babies? The children of Queen Margawase and King Lot of Lothian who were shipwrecked in France and much later adopted by Arthur and Guienevere? The eldest of those unfortunate orphans is also due to be knighted – a genuinely nice and well-mannered young lad named Mordred.
The other big event early in the year is the funeral of Sir Albyn. Albyn was one of the original knights of Salisbury and a hero of the realm. He fell in battle at Badon and his body was never recovered – at least, not until two years ago when his son Owen discovered the grave of his father in a woodsman’s garden. Albyn is now being interred at Stonehenge (as befits his pagan religion) but at the behest of his wife Lady Sienna, Sir Owen is staging a play depicting the life and deeds of his famous father.
The Play’s The Thing
. . . But not that Thing.
Owen wracks his brain thinking how best to depict the life and times of his father in a three Act play. This is what he comes up with:
ACT 1
The story starts right at the beginning of Albyn’s career whilst he’s still a lowly squire. It establishes his great friendship with Sir Owen (Albyn’s son’s namesake) as they undertake the task of hunting a bear. It features both knights’ unsuccessful attempts to woo their sweethearts – Lady Gwen in the case of Owen and Lady Adwin in the case of Sir Albyn.
ACT 2
Act 2 continues the romantic themes from Act 1. It includes the knight’s successful mission in helping Merlin recover the magic sword Excalibur. This accomplishment is enough to seal Sir Owen’s marriage to lady Gwen. Gwen and Owen do their best to get Albyn and Adwin together.
ACT 3
The last act concludes the story with Albyn attempting to prove his worthiness to marry Adwin by performing heroic deeds at the battle against the Saxon kings Octa and Eosa. King Octa is captured by Albyn and his comrades and the play ends with the wedding of Albyn and Adwin.
Sir Owen (V 2.0) has been quite clever and, aware of the fact that romance is all the rage at court right now, has managed to fit not one, but two romances into his play!
Earl Roderick is right behind the idea of the play and allows Owen to stage it in the main square of the city of Sarum. A stage is hastily erected and the play takes place by moonlight one warm spring evening.
Act 1 begins and the crowd eagerly awaits this new form of entertainment to unfold. They’re not quite sure what to expect yet. The role of Sir Owen (V 1.0) is played by his own son Sir Hywel and the role of Sir Albyn is, of course, played by his son Sir Owen (V 2.0). Both men act their parts well and the quality of writing helps them deliver a fine performance. The part of the bear is played by a man wearing a bearskin – he does a good enough job. The crowd are clearly enjoying the story as the first elements of the romantic tales unfold and as Act 1 draws to a close Sir Owen takes a peep through the stage curtains and is pleased to see that the audience are baying for the next part.
Act 2 gets underway and is the part of the play where romance is very much at the forefront. If Owen had staged this even a couple of years earlier he would have been laughed out of town, but he’s managed to expertly catch the mood of the time and the crowd are loving it. Sir Breakius plays the part of Merlin and despite being hampered with a ridiculously large fake beard he puts in a good performance.
Act 3 is mostly concerned with fighting and the crowd are dazzled by the appearance of a living legend – Marshal Arkan. He’s one of the few men still in active service to the King who was present at this battle. He romps across the stage laying waste to extras left, right and centre. He plays his part well although his pride goes slightly to his head and he milks his role for all its worth, prolonging his appearance on the stage by a considerable length. The crowd can’t get enough of him though.
The play draws to a close with a suitable romantic scene – Albyn and Adwin’s wedding. The whole performance has been a great success and will be talked about in Salisbury for years to come. Everyone involved is congratulated heartily, with Sir Owen receiving biggest props for planning the whole thing.
The Saxon Witch
For the past couple of seasons Britain has been wracked by terrible storms. Rivers have burst their banks, crops have been ruined, roads have been washed away. According to the wise men and priests of Logres this is all the work of a Saxon witch operation out of rebellious East Anglia. King Arthur asks our knights if they will venture forth into East Anglia (the dukedom of their long time antagonist Hervil de Revel), find the witch and put an end to her. Of course they agree. Sir Breakius enlists the help of his part-time Saxon employee Hans Ollo the boat man.
As they head for Norwich (the county capital) they encounter a caged wagon packed full of Saxon women and children wobbling its way from the city. It’s being escorted by a troop of men at arms, none of whom seem too interested to stop and chat to our knights. Our team forcibly stop one of the guards and ask him what’s going on.
“Orders of Duke Hervis,” says the guard uncomfortably. “If the Saxons keep causing trouble and rioting, he keeps rounding up their women and children and sending them to …. The camp.”
“The camp?” queries Marshal Arkan with a raised eye brow.
“Yeah. It’s like a holding pen where they’re … held. Between you and me it’s not a very nice place.”
“Caging women and children? That sounds barbaric treatment, even for Saxons!” exclaims Sir Breakius.
“Don’t blame me,” says the guard, “I’m only following orders.”
They arrive at Norwich as the sun is starting to set. The gates to the city are locked tight. A man wrapped in a cloak by the side of the road says “You won’t be able to get in now. You’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow like me. Duke Hervis has a curfew on people being out in the streets after nightfall. I was late back from the fields – my Molly’s going to kill me!”
“What’s your name fellow?” asks Sir Hywel.
“Giles sir.”
“Then climb up on the back of my horse Giles, we’ll get you in.”
Marshal Arkan rides up to the gates and yells up at the guards on the battlements. “In the name of King Arthur open the gates and let us in!”
One of the guards sneers down at him and says “By orders of Duke Hervis, no one is allowed in or out after dark.”
Marshal Arkan removes his helmet and says “Do you know who I am?”
The guard visibly pales and murmers of “Oh shit!” can be overheard from his fellow guardsmen. He clears his throat and says “I suppose we can make an exception for Marshal Arkan of Salisbury.”
The gates are opened and the knights ride through. “Take us to Duke Hervis’s house,” instructs Marshal Arkan and the guard complies. The streets are strangely deserted, a sign that Duke Hervis’s curfew is being observed. Suddenly from a side alley a group of men shamble out and block the way. The guard is visibly shaking. As our knights look closer at the approaching men they see that they’re all sporting horrendous wounds, wounds that really should have killed them. Not one of them says a word as they close in to attack our heroes.
Though terrified, the guard does his bit in the fight, as does Hans Ollo. Giles the farmer is clearly petrified with fright and clings to Sir Hywel’s back for all he’s worth. Our knights don’t quite know what manner of men they’re fighting but never-the-less they do what they do best and smite every last one of them.
After the fight the guard confesses “There’ve been more and more of these …. Dead ‘uns walking the streets lately. I’m telling you, it’s that damned Saxon witch!”
Our knights lodge at Duke Hervis’s manor. Although the duke is no friend of the knights of Salisbury he is a strict observer of the rules of Hospitality and looks after his guests well (although he rankles at ‘Giles the farmer’ staying in his house).
The next morning the knights drop Giles off at‘His Molly’s’ house. The farmer’s wife gives him an earful for staying out all night but the Knights of Salisbury mollify the lady by telling him what a hero Giles was in the fight last night. Molly looks at Giles with new-found admiration and pulls him into the house eagerly. As the door is closing, Giles pokes his head around the portal and gives the knight’s a thumbs up saying “Thanks guys. Guaranteed B.J. tonight!”
“Just doing our jobs,” says Sir Breakius with a salute.
The next day is spent investigating the Saxon Witch. I won’t go into the details of this but the upshot of it is that Hans Ollo gets a good lead – a tavern down by the water front. “I used to know the owner of that joint,” says Hans. “Used to be used by smugglers. There’s a tunnel that runs from it’s basement right down to the beach. Maybe we could creep in that way, give them a little surprise?”
“I like the cut of your jib young fella me lad” says Sir Hywel.
“You what?” says Hans.
“I mean, good plan,” clarifies Sir Hywel.
The knights ride down to the coast and leave their horses on the bluffs over-looking the beach. Hans leads them to the cave entrance and into the dingy grotto. The cave itself is narrow, winding and smells of fish and rank seawater. It gradually starts leading upwards until the knights see light up ahead.
Sir Breakius is bold enough to remove his heavy armour and sneak up the remainder of the passage to see what awaits them. Keeping to the shadows he spies a room that seems to be half natural cavern, half brick-built basement. A woman adorned in fetishes and face paint stands talking furtively to three Saxon men – surely she must be the witch? Around fifteen silent, pale men stand rigidly at attention around the room – they remind Sir Breakius of the dead men they fought in the streets the previous evening. Breakius finds his attention being drawn to a dark iron cauldron standing on an altar behind the witch. It’s large, big enough to fit a man in.
Breakius creeps back down the tunnel and reports what he’s seen. The team put their heads together and come up with a cunning plan as to how to deal with the over-whelming odds in the cavern upahead.
An enormous melee breaks out. It’s chaotic and violent in the extreme. The witch takes the first opportunity to flee up the rickety wooden stairs into the tavern cellar above them but Sir Hywel is hot on her heels. The witch races across the cellar floor and up another narrow flight of stairs, hissing curses at the pursuing knight as she goes. Hywel reaches her as she flings open the door at the top of the stairs to reveal the bar room of the tavern.
With one mighty stroke Sir Owen slices the witch's head from her shoulders. Her headless corpse staggers several feet into the room, spewing arterial blood in a great fountain as it goes. The drinkers look on in stunned silence as the body finally crashes to the ground.
“Sorry about the mess,” quips Sir Hywel.
“He’s killed the witch! Get him!” yells one of the drinkers angrily. Chairs scrape back, clubs and daggers are raised and all of a sudden Sir Hywel finds himself facing a dozen armed and angry Saxons.
“Oh crap” he mutters. He pulls the door shut are barricades it as best he can. The Saxons grab an axe from somewhere and start hacking their way through the rickety door.
So there we have it, a massive fight with our knights taking the part of the filling in a zombie/saxon sandwich. They’re heavily out numbered but some how manage to win through, although several of them come out of the fight bearing permanent scars from the encounter. The witch is well and truly dead and her Black Cauldron has been captured. The knights take the cauldron back to Arthur where he thanks them profusely for their effort and assures them the cauldron will be placed somewhere out of harms way.
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You can find the previous adventures of the Cardiff Boys on this Geeklist.
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We played this session before Christmas but it's taken me flippin' ages to post it. We've finished the Conquest Period chapter of the Great Pendragon Campaign now so we're currently in one of our scheduled Pendragon breaks (while I try out Pathfinder on the guys). We'll be back at some point in the future where we'll pick things up with the Romance Period.
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