Joe Gola
United States
Redding
Connecticut
Eleven.
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Violetxc wrote: And forget the BS about bra straps! I have yet to hear any woman say " I really like how this guy can unhook my bra... he's so smooth" BLECK!
I'm not sure that advice was for the woman's benefit.
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Rick Holzgrafe
United States
San Jose
California
"the understandably frightening and chimeric semicolon" -- HiveGod
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Oh, and never hold anything over an open toilet, even for a second, unless you intend to drop it in.
I'm serious! You're going to make dumb mistakes at unexpected moments. Plan on it. If you drop something by accident, it's usually better if it lands on the floor instead of in the potty, so don't hold things over the potty. Stay well back from the car ahead when driving. Make two trips instead of trying to juggle all the dishes at once. You get the picture.
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Judy Purcell
United States
St. Paul
Minnesota
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Gola wrote: Violetxc wrote: And forget the BS about bra straps! I have yet to hear any woman say " I really like how this guy can unhook my bra... he's so smooth" BLECK! I'm not sure that advice was for the woman's benefit.
Joe I'll clarify. If a woman really likes a guy, she'll be taking off her clothes in short order. One handed bra unhooking is an utterly unnecessary talent and screams "Player". 
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Relationship advice:
You cannot change anyone, no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, no matter how much they like/love you and want to please you.
We can only usually manage some changes in ourselves, and that is with a lot of hard work, perseverance, and determination.
So, if the friend or lover you have just met has 1 or more qualities that you cannot live with, don't assume you'll be able to change them.
Living with someone brings out all those hidden quirks and habits that we have, especially when we are relaxed around each other.
Before you make a long-term commitment with someone or have children with them, make sure you have been with them and observed how they react and interact:
-with your friends
-with their friends
-with your family
-with their family
-under the influence
-playing a game
-when they are sick
-when you are sick
-when a close family or friend of theirs is sick
-under pressure
-in a crisis
-on vacation
-at work
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Pony Casts Fire
United States
New Haven
Connecticut
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Always ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" There are reasons and justifications. Know the reasons because the justifications are bullshit.
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Sylvester Deluxe
United States
Aurora
Colorado
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Turn down any job offered to you within 15 minutes after applying.
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Sylvester Deluxe
United States
Aurora
Colorado
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sisteray wrote: bippi wrote: How are MY ducks in a row any less valid than YOUR ducks in a row? EDIT: And even if you do have a stable relationship, having kids will make it worse.  You quoted me. I assumed you were referring to my statement.
I guess my problem is, the ducks in a row that you have to have, are always relative to the person/parent himself.
That is: those ducks you have in a row, and those you need to align... should always be just one more than you have, before you have kids. Therefore, no one would ever have kids, if they waited until mallard management had been established.
I hope to one day hear, "God Dad, I can't believe you went with a 7% hedge fund!" as my parenting fail. 
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Conrad
United States
New York City
New York
Who is bought and sold? Who is beyond the law? Who is free to choose? Who follows orders? Who salutes longest? Who prays loudest? Who dies first? Who laughs last? -Barbara Kruger
"Now a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?"
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bippi wrote: Turn down any job offered to you within 15 minutes after applying.
Fantastic advice.
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Andy Andersen
United States
Newark
Delaware
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Will someone bind these together and sell them as a book?
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Gil Hova
United States
Newark
New Jersey
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Keep your unit tests small and portable. Ideally, they should only test a single class, nothing else. If they depend on other classes, mock the other classes, especially if the other classes represent something relatively expensive or complex, like a database, filesystem, or network connection.
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Blorb Plorbst
United States
Bloomington
Indiana
I think we're all bozos on this bus.
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How did this turn into programming advice?
All you need to know about programming can be found here: http://www.faqs.org/docs/artu/ch01s06.html
Life advice?
Always be willing to step outside your comfort zone.
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Rick Holzgrafe
United States
San Jose
California
"the understandably frightening and chimeric semicolon" -- HiveGod
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IngredientX wrote: If they depend on other classes, mock the other classes
This sounds uncomfortably like campaign-speech advice for getting yourself elected.
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Don't waste your time listening to advice from others...
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I am the Tick and you are Barry
United States
Arthur's apartment
The City
SPOOOOON!!!
San Diego bound!
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elgin_j wrote: Don't waste your time listening to advice from others...
Including this.
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**MOSHIN' JOSH** [Here to have fun!]
Canada
Cambridge
Ontario
"Sometimes game rulebooks are meant to be used as a guide - not chiseled into stone tablets as scripture. If using a specific rule makes a game more fun for you, then it is not only your right - but it is your duty to change it." --Rob Bell
“My opinion is that a game has its own life when published, and is really alive when players want to add their own house rules!” --Bruno Cathala
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What a great idea for a thread, and what great advice has been offered! I love it!
Now, I don't know anything about anything. I'm only 35 - I just got here. However, the Grim Reaper has been my constant companion both personally (with life-long chronic illnesses and 2 near-death experiences) and professionally (as a paramedic with 15 years experience). Also, I've read a lot of books. Also, I've listened. So I'm going to be so bold as to dispense advice anyhow, and I'm going to be so arrogant as to begin by quoting myself from my "Geek of the Week" thread from last year ( http://www.boardgamegeek.com/article/5518623#5518623).
This world is a mess, my friends. It is a violent, selfish, diseased, fucked up mess. I'm only 34 years of age, but I've already spent nearly 14 years as a paramedic in every house, every street, every alley, every hovel, picking up the remains of this life. Even my own body has been racked with pain and torn apart and pieced back together since I was a very young child. Thankfully, there's plenty of beauty too, but it's largely up to us to create it.
Certainly don’t rely on your governments to change things for the better. Your democracy is a farce - liberal politicians and conservative politicians are just 2 sides of the same dirty money; your capitalism is a farce - it is just widening the gap between the rich few and the poor many; your pop culture is a farce - selfishness and stupidity are worshiped by those who are our future. No, friends - the bad news is, if we want anything to change, it’s up to us.
Perhaps changing the world seems like too overwhelming a task. If nothing else, my friends, please be kind to each other. And listen to each other. How many millennia of human history have passed, and we still haven’t learned how to be nice to one another? It is wonderful how far a little kindness, a little grace, a little patience, a little tolerance, will go. I love the following anecdote from the brilliant work by Kurt Vonnegut, "A Man Without a Country":
" Joe, a young man from Pittsburgh, came up to me with one request: ‘Please tell me it will all be okay.’
‘Welcome to Earth, young man,’ I said. ‘It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, Joe, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of: Goddamn it, Joe, you've got to be kind!’"
Life is far too fleeting to not be nice to each other. Trust me, my friends, the whole concept of "average life expectancy" is a farce too. I’ve had the beautiful, frantic, hallowed, horrible experience of watching many people breathe their last breaths, and whether I’m transporting a dead baby or a dead centenarian, all these lives have been almost equally fleeting. But I have a little secret to share with you. I don’t know anything about anything (as I said), but I have been lucky enough to stumble upon the elixir of youth. It is not keeping up with pop culture, nor is it eating lots of vegetables, nor is it even plastic surgery. It is actually a remarkably simple formula:
LIVE - Life is too short not to live. Live each day like it’s your last, because it might be. Literally. I have the blood stains in my uniform pants to prove it, and at least 2 very near-death experiences to know it. So get out there and find a way to do the things you’ve been wanting to do. What fulfills you? What brings you joy? Why aren’t you doing it more often? Don’t let fear stand in the way - what’s the worse that could happen?
LOVE - Many of you have a spouse, a partner, a lover. Love them intensely and unconditionally. Surprise them with your love. And if you don’t have a partner, that’s okay. As long as there are like-minded people in the world, you have family. Your family is who you make it. Some of us have blood relations who are too completely dysfunctional to derive any joy from them - again, life is too short to spend with people who tear us down. But fortunately for us, we can surround ourselves with people we love and who love us in return. This is family.
LAUGH - Laughter is the greatest expression of both joy and sorrow. Many people would be horrified by the things we paramedics joke about, but what is the alternative? Don’t take yourselves so seriously, my friends. We don't have time to take things seriously that don't truly matter (particularly not board games!).
SING AND DANCE - I don’t care if you can’t sing or dance. Try it anyways! I can’t do either, but I do plenty of both. Sort of. Although I generally wait until I'm alone... As Tim Armstrong once said, "Through music, you can live forever." Music keeps the soul alive, and if you don’t believe that, check out this man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmON_0bzUZc
PLAY - You might not think that I need to tell a bunch of board gamers to play, but I’ve seen some of you hunched over your game pieces, oblivious to your surroundings, concerned only with thinking up a winning strategy. If you’ve forgotten how to play, spend some time with children. They’ll teach you. Each person enjoys different forms of play, so find what sets you free, and go for it!
I'm going to add to that a bunch of random thoughts:
-Your family is not the people with whom you share DNA. Rather, it is those people in your life who you love and with whom you surround yourself. Life is far too short for toxic relationships.
-Friendships are for seasons. So don't be distressed when years pass and life pulls you away from the people you thought would be in your life forever and you find yourself hangin' with a different crowd for a time. Very few people stick around for a lifetime.
-The formula for attracting women is simple: Look like a rock star and act like a gentleman.
-If you are seeking a partner, there is no such thing as "The One". Eventually you might choose a flawed human being with which to share your life, and you will have to live with the flaws as well as all the good things. Love is not an emotion or a feeling; it is a choice and an action. As the years pass with your partner, if you do not choose every day to act in a loving manner toward him/her, then you are letting go of love.
-You are only allowed to go in debt for 4 things: education, health care, purchasing a vehicle, and purchasing a home. For anything else, if you don't have the money, don't buy it. You're better off without it.
-Look at your weight in the same manner as you look at debt. Don't eat that extra dessert thinking that you'll "work it off" later, because you won't. Start by exercising regularly and eating well, and then treat yourself now and then.
-You can tell how easy a person's life is by the things they complain about.
-Most things aren't important enough to take seriously.
-Pop culture is a lie.
-The whole "be yourself" thing is bullshit, because "yourself" is who you "be". Beyond taking a Myers-Briggs personality test, don't waste too much time on trying to figure out who you are. You can feel a certain way, think a certain way, dress a certain way, and attempt to portray a certain image, but ultimately the person you are is the person you act like.
-You are a human being, and are no better than any other human being (not even a homeless, drug-addicted prostitute), nor are you any worse than any other human being (not even a billionaire celebrity philanthropist). So treat everyone with respect.
-There is probably such a thing as Absolute Truth, but no human being is smart enough to know what it is, so remain open-minded.
-Don't even bother asking, "Why?" Life is not fair and the doctrine of Karma is dangerous bullshit. Terrible things will happen to both good and bad people, and wonderful things happen to both good and bad people. So don't do good expecting to be recognized or rewarded for it (you're more likely to be taken for granted at best, and taken advantage of at worst) - do good because it makes the world better.
-Listen. The greatest thing you can do for someone is to understand them.
-Don't believe anything I tell you.
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The father of the Spawn of JoshBot
United States
All a part of my kitty empire
Don't wait a moment too soon
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Have in the trunk of your car:
A properly-inflated spare tire.
A jack.
A pair of jumper cables.
A small multitool.
A large and warm blanket.
Have in the glovebox:
A small flashlight.
A tire pressure gauge.
A map of you state, province, or region.
A map of your country.
A $50 bill. Forget about this money until the moment it is critical to remember it.
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Judy Purcell
United States
St. Paul
Minnesota
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MyTwoCents wrote: emmersonpoole wrote: Learn to undo a bra strap one handed
In case you get involved in a transporter accident and end up changing gender AND losing an arm, simultaneously.
I stand corrected
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The father of the Spawn of JoshBot
United States
All a part of my kitty empire
Don't wait a moment too soon
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This is a good one:
You are 22. Weigh yourself right now, and burn that number into your brain. Weigh yourself periodically, and when you weigh five more pounds than the magic number, immediately lose that weight. As you get older it's very easy to let the five turn to ten turn to twenty, and there you are a decade later, carrying around way too much weight. And you are older, so it's harder to lose, and your behavioral ruts are dug more deeply, and you are more tired, and the cycle continues.
I would say "Don't be neurotic about your weight" but I actually think it pays to be neurotic about your weight.
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W M Shubert
United States
Portland
Oregon
KGS is the #1 web site for playing go over the internet. Visit now!
Yes, I really am that awesome.
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JoshBot wrote: This is a good one:
You are 22. Weigh yourself right now, and burn that number into your brain. Weigh yourself periodically, and when you weigh five more pounds than the magic number, immediately lose that weight. As you get older it's very easy to let the five turn to ten turn to twenty, and there you are a decade later, carrying around way too much weight. I've been doing this. About 4 years ago I realized I was 15lbs over my "youthful" weight, so I worked to lose it. Since then I've been dieting every time I go up 5lbs, and it's been working out great; very easy for me to lose 5lbs in 2 or 3 weeks, and it seems to take over a year to get it back. (I am very physically active which might be why I gain it back so slowly, but the point remains, doing this has made it easy for me to stay at the weight I want.)
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You know that little voice inside of you that "tells" you stuff or just gives you deep impressions, gut reactions, warnings, etc.? Listen to it, that is your true self (some call it a conscience).
Take time to learn and listen to your true self and become and live as an authentic human being with your own character, personality, likes/dislikes, interests, and feelings. Don't compromise them to please or impress someone--they won't ever like the real you.
Be yourself, but also strive to continuously improve yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.
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Simon Jester
United States
Ann Arbor
Michigan
Enrodenta, ho!
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Violetxc wrote: One handed bra unhooking is an utterly unnecessary talent and screams "Player".
For some reason this makes me no less proud of my seriously impressive skill in this area.
snappop
I wonder if there's some way to market this talent... 
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Sylvester Deluxe
United States
Aurora
Colorado
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Zedsdead wrote: Violetxc wrote: One handed bra unhooking is an utterly unnecessary talent and screams "Player". For some reason this makes me no less proud of my seriously impressive skill in this area. snappopI wonder if there's some way to market this talent...
Rule 34. (look it up on urbandictionary)
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Austin Bordeaux
United States
North Carolina
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So I've been a little over 3 weeks without internet and just got it back. Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I am going to compile the advice into one gigantic form and keep it saved in an archive to look back on later.
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