B Lewis
United Kingdom
Gloucestershire
-
A story inspired by the penultimate victory at the end of Journey Down the Anduin 3b.
Two threat,Gandalf in hand, all enemies dispatched, except two remaining in Forest Snares....
The wizard moved wearily into the clearing on the wide river bank, leaning heavily on his staff (for effect). The overgrown dark of Mirkwood just didn`t agree with him.
"Have to get Bombadil over here with his clippers" he muttered,"it`s not as if he`s doing anything helpful after all. Give Goldberry a rest too, poor lass."
"You lot there,you called, or rather shouted?" grumbled the old man.
"There could be many enemies nearby you know ...or er, maybe not"
Gandalf surveyed the blood soaked bank, where piles of bodies lay in various states of dismemberment.
"Oh Gandy, I think we`ve won through!" cried Eowyn. She paused. "My, you`ve looked better old man" she laughed.
"Youth of today" muttered the wizard, moving towards two writhing, netted forms nearby.
"Well well what have we here?" he chuckled into the biggest net. "Bill, you old troll, a bit tied up today, are we?"
"Oi`m right sorry Mr. Gandalf Sir" wept the troll. "Oi did`nt mean no harm, really Oi did`nt. `E made me do it!".
He pointed to the other struggling figure.
"Well I`m sorry old fellow, but I`ve heard it all before. If I let you out, in a week you`ll be leaping out on some poor unsuspecting travellers, and there`ll be much bludgeoning and bone snapping and whatever. It simply won`t do you know"
"Ah,and what have we here?" The wizard approached the other net.
"Why Ufthak old chap, fancy meeting you here!"
"And in such an embarrasing situation" he sniggered.
"Just you wait, you grizzled old buffoon, when I get out I`m going to rip you all to..."Now now, language, there are elves around" cackled the old man, waving merrily as he moved off to sit on a relatively whole goblin nearby.
"Now gather round everyone. The sooner you finish up here, the sooner it`s off to the Golden Wood with you. I hear Celeborn`s away on business, so I daresay the place will be full of merriment and japery and, er, other elvish stuff....miserable old git he is."
"Faramir, that stream over yonder is creeping me out. Probably enchanted. Go and do your "sensitive" thing with it,there`s a good chap.Or threaten it, whatever. Don`t look sullen, she`ll still be here when you get back."
"Theodred, kindly calm your horse down, I don`t like the look of it. It`s the eyes, yes the eyes are staring..all the time..madly, hungrily..at me. ...Err, yes, well,feed it man,feed it some undergrowth or something!! For Eru`s sake there`s a freaking great wood over there look.
"And speaking of undergrowth, Beravor kindly leave that Northern Tracker alone and come out of that bush. Really, rangers these days"
"Hey Gandy, aren`t you going to help us finish these two off?" pleaded Eowyn. "We`ll pay you."
"Oh I don`t do it for the money you know, we wizards are above such things"
"That`s not what you said when we needed you earlier" Eowyn said accusingly.
"SILENCE!" cried the wizard.
"I`ve done enough for today. Be thankful I turned up to zap those two wargs. They were stalking you, you know"
"I`ll bet that`s not all thats been stalking her lately" leered Gimlet the dwarvern miner, suggestingly stroking his pick handle.
"SILENCE!" cried the wizard.
"Now, I`m going to get myself comfortable on this gobbo, spark up my pipe,and relax while I watch you beat the living cr@p out of our two hapless foes over there"
Gandalf watched, grimacing intermittingly,as the grisly deed was done.
After a while, the gore spattered party returned triumphantly.
"We`ve done it, we`ve beaten the odds!" cried Eowyn,black and green gore streaming down her face and blood soaked dress.
"The elves of Lothlorien will rush to hug us closely in their arms, in gratitude for our glorious victory won`t they Gandy, won`t they!?"
"Well they may, they may" he said. "Very touchy feely these elves, you know"
"But if you want the hugging bit, there`s just one more thing you might like to take care of."
"Whaaat?" whined Eowyn, "I`ve been through so much!"
"Yes, plainly" grinned the wizard.
"Well old man, spit it out then!"
"Oh I will" he said, "and I suggest you do the same, and so...Eowyn"
"Yes?"
"I`m going to disapperate now, but before I go, I take great pleasure in advising that you too have looked,and indeed smelt, much better"
"And GOODBYE!"
And the sound of laughter, not heard in that dark place for many a long year, drifted with the wind on the banks of the Anduin.
(My first victory with the core set on Journey Down the Anduin)
Cheers!
-
-
Nicely written albeit a bit ... ahem ... irreverent.
I chuckled.
-
B Lewis
United Kingdom
Gloucestershire
-
Thanks.
I found it amusing that chieftan Ufthak and the troll had sat there engaged but helpless for a long time while the questing continued, then it was a formality to kill them slowly for the win.
I do play with due reverence (mostly)!
Eowyn with Favour of the Lady and Celebrian`s Stone accompanied by Faramir and some other questers equals serious questing muscle as you know.
This Spirit/Lore/Leadership deck seemed to work well for Anduin.
Or maybe I was just lucky.
Better try it again - back to the river!
Cheers.
-
|
|
