Recommend
44 
 Thumb up
 Hide
550 Posts
[1]  Prev «  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5  Next »  [22] | 

BoardGameGeek» Forums » Gaming Related » Women and Gaming

Subject: This is how complaints against sexism are treated here at BGG rss

Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: De-railed_Thread [+] A_learning_Experience [+] [View All]
Lynette
United States
Richland
Washington
flag msg tools
Yep, I am a girl Scientist. Come for the breasts; Stay for the brains!
badge
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love; I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough.
mbmbmbmbmb
HuginnGreiling wrote:
Meerkat wrote:
[A] guy linked a GREAT modern parable about a lizard and a dog.... let me see if I can go find it.

This?


Yes!! That!

Thank you.

Ok everybody go read it.

As Empress I so command it be done. whistle
15 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Judy Krauss
United States
Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
but I'm not the only one
badge
My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours, they are my own
mbmbmbmbmb
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.

4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rom tos
Netherlands
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmb
BGG sexist? I don't recognize that at all. Rather the opposite. It's rare to see communities so bound on treating everyone equal and protecting the 'weak' amongst itself. Almost to the extreme.
10 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Agent J
United States
Coldwater
Michigan
flag msg tools
He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
badge
He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
mbmbmbmbmb
Jude wrote:
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.



Hey, you're the first person I've seen use those words on this particular site, so there's that for you to be happy about.
24 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matthew M Monin
United States
Branford
Connecticut
flag msg tools
admin
8/8 FREE, PROTECTED
badge
513ers Assemble!
mbmbmbmb
Jude wrote:
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.



Please quote any email or post where I've said that to you.
43 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Tim Gilberg
United States
Norman
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Re: This is how comlaints against sexism are treated here at BGG
Octavian wrote:

Trolling, especially by insulting others, is never fine. It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


Except, of course, when it doesn't.

Quote:

As we handle moderation privately, however, you will only see evidence for the situations you are involved in personally. So if you have only been moderated for crossing the line in response it will seem like that's all we respond to. It isn't.


Yes. Of course. Only those posts that cross the line result in a response. So if someone is insulting in a thread, and continues to do so over a course of days in that thread, we have to assume that the behavior in question is condoned by BGG, at least implicitly.

Thanks for the clarification.
5 
 Thumb up
0.01
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Steven
United States
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
Jude wrote:
using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.

I really hope that's not official BGG policy. I don't remember seeing such outrageous language myself, though, so I have no way of telling if the admins are letting it slide.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Andrew Laws
Canada
Vancouver
British Columbia
flag msg tools
designer
"I play to win, as much or more than any egoist who thinks he's going to win by other means. I want to win the match. But I don't give in to tactical reasoning as the only way to win, rather I believe that efficacy is not divorced from beauty."
mbmbmbmbmb
celiborn wrote:
Jude wrote:
using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.

I really hope that's not official BGG policy. I don't remember seeing such outrageous language myself, though, so I have no way of telling if the admins are letting it slide.


Do you really think it's official policy? Really?
8 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sam Carroll
United States
Champaign
Illinois
flag msg tools
Soli Deo Gloria!
badge
mbmbmbmbmb
There was a thread in the Wargames forum a while back where someone brought up a quote by Frederick the Great which referred to Maria Theresa and Madame Pompadour as "bitches" or something similar. This might be what Judy is talking about.

EDIT: And it turned out that the original quote did not use that term; it was translated wrong. Whether accidentally or intentionally, I have no idea, though my usual procedure in such cases is to assume that it was an accident.
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Hi diddle dee dee. Goddamn. The pirate's life for me.
United States
flag msg tools
mbmbmb
Jude wrote:
and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you


Again, I don't recall this EVER happening.

I'm somewhat irked by your sudden need to leave the thread, and start a new one somewhere else, all while speaking poorly of the wargaming community. You were trying so hard to prove your agenda that you didn't stop to consider the gravity of your accusations. No one was bullying you, derailing the thread, or dismissing your ideas.

Finally, I assure you that every person who posted in your first thread would defend you if they saw someone call you names like that, or said something sexist/homophobic to offend you. We can all only do our very best to prevent that sort of attitude from becoming prevalent in the subdomain.
27 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rom tos
Netherlands
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmb
spartax wrote:
There was a thread in the Wargames forum a while back where someone brought up a quote by Frederick the Great which referred to Maria Theresa and Madame Pompadour as "bitches" or something similar. This might be what Judy is talking about.


If that's the case, Judy is presenting her case a bit out of context.
12 
 Thumb up
0.02
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Steve Willows
United States
Woburn
Massachusetts
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
I like to consider myself a person who needs to be aware of women’s points of view in order to be better able to be sensitive to them. That's one reason that I lurk on the women's forums.

Sometimes I fail at this. Not because I want to, but because I’m a human being.

It is also true that, as a human being, I sometimes give offense when none was intended.

Ok. I made a mistake. I will own that mistake. I will wear it as a badge on my lapel.

But I will still ask for forgiveness for it. To me, such things are the easiest to forgive because no bad intent was involved.

I’ve also learned that men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Or is it the other way around?

Misunderstandings are common then. Because we can’t put ourselves in the shoes of a woman as a man (and vice-versa).

Let’s say one partner comes home to the other after work. The first thing that should be properly done is to engage your mate. A wise person will take a clue from the body language of his or her partner. If she’s up, come in that way. If she’s down, slow down.

Now, as a man, when you ask what’s wrong, you may get a lot of things. But you must resist the urge to solve the problem immediately!

I’ve learned that a woman seeks comfort and understanding in that situation. Instead, most men will offer up solutions right off. Ladies, please understand that is how we are wired. It is not easy to resist. We are compelled to take away your pain!

It is our lack of understanding of what our partner needs that is the cause of some problems.

So, when we offer up solutions instead of comfort and understanding, very often it is now the woman’s turn to make a mistake. She might say something like “you aren’t listening to me”. In fact, what she should have said is that “you are not understanding what I need right now”.

It’s potentially all down hill from there. Of course he was listening.

THAT, my friends, is the human condition at work. No bad intent was on either side, and yet…

Not men, not women, HUMAN BEINGS need to be more sensitive to the difference in how we are wired. We need to be sensitive to diversity of all kinds. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. But it is unfortunate when we view such things as intentional rather than mistakes (even though I suspect that on this funny thing called the Internet, we may not hold ourselves to the same standards as might be observed elsewhere).

Of course, that's not to say that we never see folks just using words as weapons. Or being callous. But I'm a positive person. I like to believe in the best that man has even though we are often exposed to the worst.

Sometimes I’m the biggest lunk head to have ever walked the Earth.

But that’s ok. Let’s talk and I’ll do better next time!
17 
 Thumb up
6.00
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rom tos
Netherlands
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmb
Scrogdog wrote:

I’ve also learned that men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Or is it the other way around?


I recall reading men are from Vulcan.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Judy Krauss
United States
Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
but I'm not the only one
badge
My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours, they are my own
mbmbmbmbmb
Jythier wrote:
Jude wrote:
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.



Hey, you're the first person I've seen use those words on this particular site, so there's that for you to be happy about.


Very funny. shake

Something that often isn't considered or cared about, either:

It's hurtful to read a thread about your favorite hobby and somebody posts misogynistic crap, especially if it is someone I thought was my buddy. As a woman, it makes me feel, not only like I am not welcome, but that my geekfriends don't care if they hurt women. This only gets worse if I protest and it becomes apparent, that, indeed, they don't care and will defend their "right" to do post offensive stuff about and towards women who shouldn't "whine" or be "over-sensitive" about it.

IMHO, those people should be ashamed of themselves. But, as a woman, my opinion is usually ignored, even when it is about something that affects me as a woman.

8 
 Thumb up
0.01
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Jonathan Harrison
United States
Fisher
Illinois
flag msg tools
So long ...
badge
... and thanks for all the fish.
mb
spartax wrote:
There was a thread in the Wargames forum a while back where someone brought up a quote by Frederick the Great which referred to Maria Theresa and Madame Pompadour as "bitches" or something similar. This might be what Judy is talking about.

Right, I remember that. Wasn't it in a discussion of famous war/wargaming quotes?

And there was a discussion of wargame boxfront vs. subject matter in which someone referred to himself as (and I'm probably forgetting the exact wording here) a 'box art slut'.

But these two instances are all I'm coming up with. The vitriolic response to the second instance actually springs to my mind before either of these, considering some of the terms that were thrown about.
10 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Dave G
United States
Illinois
flag msg tools
El Chupacabratwurst
mbmbmbmbmb
Jude wrote:
Jythier wrote:
Jude wrote:
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.



Hey, you're the first person I've seen use those words on this particular site, so there's that for you to be happy about.


Very funny. shake

Something that often isn't considered or cared about, either:

It's hurtful to read a thread about your favorite hobby and somebody posts misogynistic crap, especially if it is someone I thought was my buddy. As a woman, it makes me feel, not only like I am not welcome, but that my geekfriends don't care if they hurt women. This only gets worse if I protest and it becomes apparent, that, indeed, they don't care and will defend their "right" to do post offensive stuff about and towards women who shouldn't "whine" or be "over-sensitive" about it.

IMHO, those people should be ashamed of themselves. But, as a woman, my opinion is usually ignored, even when it is about something that affects me as a woman.



I'm very interested to see an example of this, Jude. I hang out in what is arguably the most rough and tumble forum here on a regular basis, and I've never seen anyone being blatantly misogynistic. Occasionally there might be something that someone takes the wrong way or some juvenile behavior, but what you seem to be talking about sounds more deliberate.
18 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Steven
United States
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
HarlemMimeSchool wrote:
celiborn wrote:
Jude wrote:
using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.

I really hope that's not official BGG policy. I don't remember seeing such outrageous language myself, though, so I have no way of telling if the admins are letting it slide.

Do you really think it's official policy? Really?

Nah, not really. And I think the responses here show it isn't.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Rom tos
Netherlands
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmb
Jude wrote:
Jythier wrote:
Jude wrote:
Octavian wrote:
It is explicitly prohibited in the rules and results in moderation.


So is bigotry of all sorts, but since you get to define what constitutes bigotry, therefore sexist remarks and jokes, and using words like sluts and bitches to describe women seem to be fine by you since you have told me repeatedly that that type of post is not sexist (and therefore bigotry), just offensive to women.



Hey, you're the first person I've seen use those words on this particular site, so there's that for you to be happy about.


Very funny. shake

Something that often isn't considered or cared about, either:

It's hurtful to read a thread about your favorite hobby and somebody posts misogynistic crap, especially if it is someone I thought was my buddy. As a woman, it makes me feel, not only like I am not welcome, but that my geekfriends don't care if they hurt women. This only gets worse if I protest and it becomes apparent, that, indeed, they don't care and will defend their "right" to do post offensive stuff about and towards women who shouldn't "whine" or be "over-sensitive" about it.

IMHO, those people should be ashamed of themselves. But, as a woman, my opinion is usually ignored, even when it is about something that affects me as a woman.



And this happens regularly? Or are you describing hypothetical scenarios which would make you unhappy?
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Sequella Deville
msg tools
Quote:
Makes me want to force everyone to read post-modern feminist and gender studies essays.


And there is the crux of the ludicrous. "I demand you believe what I believe, or else you're not tolerant".

I hope the OP got the attention they wanted, akin to the attention sought by a child throwing a tantrum in a store. After all they have a peace micro-badge, which I guess equates to "whine when corrected with facts, whine when ignored for whining, whine to embarrass those who don't coddle their sleeve-worn feelings, then whine until everyone tells them only what they want to hear." Peace By Whining. It's all the rage.



22 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Dave G
United States
Illinois
flag msg tools
El Chupacabratwurst
mbmbmbmbmb
sequella wrote:
Quote:
Makes me want to force everyone to read post-modern feminist and gender studies essays.


And there is the crux of the ludicrous. "I demand you believe what I believe, or else you're not tolerant".

I hope the OP got the attention they wanted, akin to the attention sought by a child throwing a tantrum in a store. After all they have a peace micro-badge, which I guess equates to "whine when corrected with facts, whine when ignored for whining, whine to embarrass those who don't coddle their sleeve-worn feelings, then whine until everyone tells them only what they want to hear." Peace By Whining. It's all the rage.





Now this is vitriolic and unnecessary, but not misogynistic. Apparently there are other ways to be unpleasant.
39 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Judy Krauss
United States
Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
flag msg tools
but I'm not the only one
badge
My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours, they are my own
mbmbmbmbmb
spartax wrote:
There was a thread in the Wargames forum a while back where someone brought up a quote by Frederick the Great which referred to Maria Theresa and Madame Pompadour as "bitches" or something similar. This might be what Judy is talking about.


He chose to (incorrectly) translate an archaic word for women as "bitches" and I and others protested.

and what about the poll where, out of nowhere, someone start making vulgar jokes about women and using "slut" (although, I admit, not in direct reference to women)-- after which, others joined in humorously with "tart" and "courtesan"? And when I protested, I was bullied and called names and told I was a crybaby. There were only two men on the whole thread that stood up against it.

Those, along with some patronizing posts towards another woman wargamer because of her sexual gender, are only the most recent that I have noticed.
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Disgustipater
United States
Portland
Oregon
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
THE INTERNET WELCOMES YOU
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Jonathan Harrison
United States
Fisher
Illinois
flag msg tools
So long ...
badge
... and thanks for all the fish.
mb
sequella wrote:
.

Hey. Judy is a friend—what's more, a wargamer friend. And if she is whining, it should be a wargamer who calls her on it. But this wargamer's not going to do that. As important as this is to her, I'll talk as long about it as she's talking about it—no less because I disagree with how she interpets the forums. But not only because of that.

But I won't call Judy a child throwing a tantrum. Isn't one of the major points of this discussion that we can't interpret people's actions for them? I'm sorry it has been working out like this, and I'm sorry Judy chose to take the discussion in this direction. But she's no baby. And she has feelings, too, feelings worth starting a conversation over. Perhaps feelings that have been put upon a little more than yours and mine, too.

And as for peace ... if you want peace, prepare for war. devil
30 
 Thumb up
0.03
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Dan Schaeffer
United States
Unspecified
Illinois
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
sequella wrote:
Quote:
Makes me want to force everyone to read post-modern feminist and gender studies essays.


And there is the crux of the ludicrous. "I demand you believe what I believe, or else you're not tolerant".


Leaving aside the insults with which you followed this up, I want to point out that there is a difference between forcing someone to read something and requiring that they believe it.

I might disagree with stuff that people tell me to read, but that doesn't mean I'm not occasionally - even often - better off for having read it.
11 
 Thumb up
0.10
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Daniel
United States
Orange
California
flag msg tools
mbmbmbmbmb
"Some people are always going to be offended by what you say, but just because you're offended, that doesn't make you right," - Ricky Gervais
22 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
[1]  Prev «  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5  Next »  [22] | 
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.