Kunitori! Kessen: The Battle of Moegahara » General » English Paste Ups in Draft form

Author: adorablerocket
Any proof-reading eyes would be much appreciated!

Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:52 pm
Author: WinterScaze
Wow! Kudos to you for actually taking the effort to do this for such an obscure game

Anyway, I think that some of the text could be made clearer.

Tokugawa/Date: +1 Strength to all other allied units in the same row.
Todo: You may gain 1 Spear Troop(er?)s and add it your hand.
Kuroda: +1 Strength to the 1st card in the same row, if deployed as the 2nd card.
Tokugawa(typo?) Kobayakawa Hideaki: When this card is deployed, you may discard 1 of the enemies' deployed cards in the same row.

Otani: When this card is deployed, you may change the order of allied troops in the same row.
Ukida: You may gain 1 Spear Troop(er?)s and add it your hand.
Konishi: Upgrade 1 Money/Treasure(?) card in your hand. (Copper -> Silver -> Gold, exchange with the supply)
Totoyomi: If deployed as the 3rd card, immediately win the battle.

Another minor quibble I have is that for majority of the troops card text, the +1 strength if in front of a general text isnt centered.

For the Independent Horse Guards card text, is it possible to bold the In the deploy phase choose: In the deploy phase, choose 1 option:
Currently it looks like a wall of messy text. It might also help if you reduced very slightly the font size of the option text.

It seems that you have also misnamed Field Survey as Rice Field Plowing, leading to Rice Field Plowing having 2 kinds of effects.

(Not very hidden) Fortress should be Fortress Town

Lastly, I find the asianish font used for the Generals rather unreadable, consider changing? (its a personal thing though haha)

Once again thanks for the effort! If you need any help with editing i'm available too, just drop me a mail

Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:31 am
Author: adorablerocket
Wow, thanks so much for looking at them!

Yeah I realized my two egregious typos when I was sleeving my cards! So I've fixed those up.

I also took some of your suggestions to be more explicit in some of the text, though I've maintained (and made more consistent) the sentence structure I was using because I want to always start with the effect.

I liked your idea of bolding some keywords, but I didn't have the energy to come up with a consistent scheme (or to update my cards which I foolishly did not define symbols in Illustrator for). Oh well.

I kept the silly Japonoise font and the random Kurosawa miss-reference because, hey they amuse me.

Good news is I'll upload the files as Illustrator editable PDF so anyone can tweak the files in any way they want when they download them. :-)

Thanks again!

Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:23 pm
Author: NegativeZero
While printing these out this morning to add to the copy I picked up a few weeks ago I noticed that Konishi Yukinaga's name is misspelled as Konishi Yukimasa. Interestingly this error seems to be in Arclight's official french translations as well as the crib sheets here.

If you look at Yukinaga's character card the font they used for the characters is hard to read, but the last character is definitely 長 ('naga') and the historical general who fought at the Battle of Sekigahara which this game is based off was definitely Yukinaga.

It makes absolutely no difference to the game as far as I could tell, just thought it was worth pointing out since the error seems to be in everything including some of Arclight's official translations.
Sat Apr 26, 2014 4:28 am
Author: adorablerocket
Huh, thanks for picking that up!
Tue Apr 29, 2014 6:01 am