Every Man Needs A Shed

Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Dad, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer, Agricola fanboy and jealous admirer of Carl Chudyk.

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Hub-bub

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

Last week I recorded 'a thing'; this week it's made it to the YouTubes:



Please watch: it's rather good, actually.
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Thu Sep 3, 2020 6:20 am
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Ferroequinological Funnies #3

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

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From gallery of tonyboydell
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Sat Aug 22, 2020 6:30 am
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's been a long time (been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time)

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

From gallery of tonyboydell


Explanation: While this train is in play, no third workers can be 'bought' from the Pub AND all excavation actions for different players must be resolved on separate cards/spaces ie. if a player is taking rubble from one card or space, the next player must take rubble from the next card/space not shared with the prior worker.

Yes - you will get weird patches of rubble appearing
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Tue Aug 18, 2020 6:20 am
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Ferroequinological Funnies #2

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

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Sat Aug 8, 2020 6:30 am
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Ferroequinological Funnies #1

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell

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Wed Aug 5, 2020 6:30 am
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Grammar-lama-ding-dong.

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
One thing that really nail-scrapes my blackboard is the tiresome habit that bloggers have of portmanteau-ing references to each of the games they have played 'in a session' to make a pathetic, meaningless and contrived title - you know the sort of thing:

Quote:
A report on a Friday spent with Agricola, San Juan, Can't Stop, L.A.M.A and Tainted Grail becomes
Endless Colonists Farming Alpacas for King Arthur*.
Quote:
{Insert Convention Name Here} Day 3 Report for Magic Maze, 1655: Habemus Papam 1698, Aaarg!-tect, Codenames and Feudum becomes
Striped Monster Popes Lost In Words with Inflatable Hammers!!!** (one exclamation fails to provide the appropriate humour emphasis).
Quote:
1846 plus Mottanai plus The Grizzled plus Megacity: Oceania plus Cthulhu Wars becomes
Elder Gods with Big Jugs Go Like Trains and Get Their Wet Cities Out For the Boys***
Why insist on mentioning EVERYTHING? Where's your sense of mystery - of teasing? Why shoot your wad before the link has even been clicked?! I have never seen one that makes any coherent sense as a sentence; they all range from 'a bit shit' to "Fuck me sideways over a rolling donut, that's truly AWFUL!" / "It looks like a toddler made it using random bricks!". You might as well just provide a comma-separated list of the game titles and give up any pretence of Wit, Imagination and/or Capability; and, of course, what inevitably follows 'within' is a dull, sequential stream of segments comprising a photograph PLUS 'impression' PLUS an entirely-irrelevant/fatuous 'rating'.

D minus.

Why not try proper puns? An artistic reference or an emotional expression? How about something that stands alone in its language as having actual sense and meaning? If you can't be bothered, then you might as well start eating wax crayons in front of your Kallax on YouTube****.

External image


*I'd go for: "Dennis? There's Some Lovely Filth Down 'Ere"
**I'd plump with: "Smoke and Milieus" (it's too varied for a common thread, so going 'utterly obtuse' works too)
***I quite like this one; it's just the right side of 'filthy'
****100% MUST Watch.
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Thu Jul 16, 2020 6:25 am
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das Fett kauen

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

Me and one of my favourite ever Germans, Mr Ulrich Blennemann, chew the fat:


(Uli is very quiet - uncharacteristically - in this one)

Here's fun: how many times do I side-eye my live 'room next door' stream from Dominic Cummings?

I do miss my European friends so very much.
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Thu Jun 25, 2020 6:30 am
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So this board game walked in to a Pub...

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
(I was inspired by this)

From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell
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Thu Jun 18, 2020 6:30 am
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global interpreter lock swedish locality

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
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designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
So I received my brandly-spankly-new copy of the KS High Rise pack the other day and noticed - almost immediately - several rulebook quirks*:

From gallery of tonyboydell


If I was 'a mainstream gamer', I'd be back on to the forums demanding a full reprint of the whole thing (to correct errors) AND a short YouTubes vid of Gil Hova apologising profusely AND some free things to en-smoothen my furrowed brow and calm my justifiable anxiety.

But I'm not one of those twats* so I won't; I'll just dress up my disdain and confusion as a jocular blog post seething with passive aggression. Oh, did I type that last bit 'out loud'? Damn!


*Grogan is gonna be ALL. OVER. THIS.
**I am an entirely different kind of twat.
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Thu Jun 4, 2020 6:20 am
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Ankhers.

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
INT. BOARD ROOM.

A VARIETY OF BUSINESS TYPES ARE SAT AROUND A LARGE, OVAL TABLE; THEY EACH HAVE BULGING PORTFOLIOS. ONE OF THEM, THE CEO, WITH HIS BACK TO THE WINDOW IS STOOD UP.

CEO: (TETCHILY) RIGHT. NEXT ON THE AGENDA - ITEM 5 FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN BE FUCKED TO FOLLOW ALONG - IS Ankh: Gods of Egypt -

BIZTYPE 1: (UNDER THEIR BREATH) JESUS!

CEO: WHO SAID THAT?!

(THERE IS NO RESPONSE; MANY PORTFOLIO COVERS ARE BEING STARED AT HARD)

CEO: C'MON - WHO SAID THAT?!

(SOMEONE SNIGGERS)

CEO: BILLSON! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE WHAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY WITH EVERYONE?!

BILLSON: (LOOKING AT HIS HANDS) YOU SAID "C'MON", SIR; WHICH IS THE NAME OF OUR CORPORATION, SIR...ONLY WITH AN EXTRA APOSTROPHE IN THE MIDDLE.

BIZTYPE 2: (SURPRISED) OH YEAH! IT IS, THOUGH - RIGHT?

KISSASS: THAT'S A REALLY GREAT PUN, SIR!

BIZTYPE 3: WHAT'S AN 'APOSTROPHE'?

BILLSON: - WHICH I SPOTTED FIRST, OBVIOUSLY; AND DESERVE A PROMOTION FOR - EVIDENTLY.

CEO: (TRYING TO BRING THINGS TO ORDER) OKAY - ENOUGH, ALREADY.

(CEO EXTENDS HIS ARM AND POINTS IN A SLOW CIRCLE AROUND THE TABLE)

CEO: I'M WATCHING YOU LOT. NOW, BACK TO THE KEY TOPIC: WHY THE FUCKING HELL IS THE KICKSTARTER FOR ANKH PERFORMING SO BADLY?

KISSASS: - BUT IT'S REACHED ALMOST TWO MILLION DOLLARS, SIR!

BIZTYPE 2: THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY, SIR!

BIZTYPE 3: IS AN APOSTROPHE A MEASURE OF SIZE?

BILLSON: WHY DO YOU THINK TWO MILLION IS A BAD THING, SIR?

CEO: I'M VERY GLAD YOU ASKED, BILLSON; IT'S BECAUSE Exploding Kittens REGULARLY HITS THE FIVE MILL MARK AND ALL OF OUR PREVIOUS 'STARTERS DID WAAAAAY BETTER THAN THIS AT THE SAME POINT AND - UNLESS YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK - YOU WILL HAVE NOTICED Frosthaven JUST HIT THE BIG TEN MILLION.

BIZTYPE 1: (UNDER THEIR BREATH) JESUS!

BIZTYPE 2: WE COULD ADD SOME COOL MINIS?

BILLSON: - OR NOT?! - HA! (CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF)

CEO: WE ALREADY HAVE MINIS COMING OUT OF THE WAZOO ON THIS ONE -

BIZTYPE 3: WE COULD STRETCH GOAL A SPOT-UV WAZOO, SIR?

BIZTYPE 1: WHICH OF THE GODS THEMATICALLY GIVES BIRTH THRU ITS ASS?

BIZTYPE 3: APOSTROPHE IS ONE OF THE DEITIES, YES?

CEO: (SIGHING) NO - WE'VE GOT ENOUGH MINIS.

(ERIC LANG IS SAT IN THE CORNER SUCKING THE MARROW OUT OF AN OX'S FEMUR)

ERIC: I COULD DESIGN ANOTHER COUPLE OF RACES?

CEO: NO, ERIC; THAT'S FINE - YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. PLEASE - SIT BACK DOWN. (TO THE INTERCOM) MAISIE? COULD YOU FETCH ANOTHER BONE FOR ERIC?

MAISIE: YES, SIR *CLICK*

BILLSON: WHAT ABOUT A NEOPRINE PLAY MAT?

CEO: JESUS!

BIZTYPE 1: THAT'S MY LINE?!

BIZTYPE 2: - OR A PRINTED CLOTH BAG?

CEO: (FRUSTRATED) BUT THERE'S NOTHING TO GO IN THE CLOTH BAG!

KISSASS: WE COULD PACKAGE ALL THE MINIATURES IN THEIR OWN CLOTH BAGS?

BILLSON: (EXCITED) - AND PROVIDE A BIGGER CLOTH BAG TO PUT ALL THE CLOTH BAGS IN WHEN YOU'RE USING THE MINIATURES!

BIZTYPE 3: WOULD ANYONE MIND IF I HAD A PEE?

CEO: LOOK: WE HAVE PLENTY ENOUGH STRETCH GOALS -

BILLSON: - BUT WHAT ABOUT ADD-ONS?

BIZTYPE 2: IT'S A GREAT WAY TO GET RID OF THOSE LEFT-OVERS FROM OUR BACK CATALOGUE!

KISSASS: THE BLOOD RAGE VIKINGS GOES ON HOLIDAY?!

BIZTYPE 1: FEUDAL JAPAN MEETS CAMELS?!

CEO: (WARMING TO THE IDEAS) OKAY. OKAY, NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE!

BILLSON: WE COULD HAVE TIME-TRAVELLING VICTORIANS?!

ERIC: (WAVING A RACK OF LAMB EXCITEDLY) WHAT ABOUT EDWARDIANS?! YES! WHAT IF HOWARD CARTER DISCOVERED A TEMPORAL PORTAL IN TUTENKAMUN'S TOMB AND IT TRANSPORTED HIM...

CEO: ...BACK TO THE TIME OF ANKH? THAT'S PERFECT! BUT, ALL THIS IS STILL MISSING THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING

BIZ TYPE 3: IS IT THE APOSTROPHE?

BILLSON: (INSPIRED) THE ADD-ONS NEED TO BE MORE COMPLICATED!

CEO: (INTERESTED) GO ON -

BILLSON: STICK WITH ME ON THIS - WE MAKE SOME OF THE STRETCH GOALS OPTIONAL ADD-ONS BUT ONLY UNTIL A THRESHOLD IS REACHED WHEN WE MAKE THEM STRETCH GOALS INSTEAD. SOME OF THE MINIS WILL BE IN BAGS AND SOME NOT BUT THE PLEDGE MANAGER WILL OFFER EXTRA BAGS -

BIZTYPE 2: - AT A PREMIUM PRICE, OF COURSE -

BILLSON: - OF COURSE - AND IF WE SLAP A PICTURE OF A PYRAMID IN A POP-OUT, WE CAN OFF-LOAD OUR REMAINDERED SHITE -

BIZTYPE 1: - "BACKWARDLY-COMPATIBLE LEGACY EXPANSIONS"

BILLSON: - SORRY..."OUR BACKWARDLY-COMPATIBLE LEGACY EXPANSIONS" AS KICKSTARTER EXCLUSIVES!

KISSASS: THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.

CEO: IT'S GENIUS!

KISSASS: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID, SIR!

BILLSON: AND HERE'S THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE -

(EVERYONE IS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEAT NOW)

BILLSON: - WE AGGREGATE THE WHOLE LOT IN TO A MASSIVE, CONFUSING TABLE OF TICKS, CROSSES AND DOLLAR VALUES TWO DAYS BEFORE THE CAMPAIGN CLOSES TO REALLY FUCK WITH THE PUBLIC'S F.O.M.O!

(BILLSON LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR, EXHAUSTED)

CEO: THAT IS AMAZING, BILLSON! CONSIDER YOURSELF PROMOTED!

KISSASS: (UNDER THEIR BREATH) JESUS!

BIZTYPE 1: HEY!

CEO: GOOD WORK EVERYBODY! NOW LET'S BACK TO OUR MACS AND MAKE THIS FUCKING HAPPEN!

(THERE IS AN IMPROMPTU ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOLLOWED BY COPIOUS BACK-SLAPPAGE AS THEY DEPART)

CEO: NOT YOU, ERIC; CAN I HAVE A QUICK WORD?

ERIC: (STAYING BEHIND) WHAT IS IT, CHIEF?

CEO: IT'S ABOUT YOUR NEXT PROJECT, ERIC; HOW'S IT GOING?

ERIC: PRETTY SWEET, ACTUALLY; IT'S A FIGHTY, CARD-DRIVEN MINIATURES GAME ABOUT THE MYSTICISM OF THE ABORIGINAL PEOPLES MEETING THE LOVECRAFTIAN UNIVERSE - I'M CALLING IT "CTHULU ULURU: NIGHTMARES IN THE DREAMTIME".

CEO: YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS, LANG; A FUCKING GENIUS.
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Sat May 2, 2020 11:04 am
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