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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
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A variation on a joke only Brits will get:
:strip_icc()/pic7454341.png)
Everyone Needs A Shed
Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Father, Grandfather, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer.
Archive for Jokin'
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
A joke only Brits will get:
:strip_icc()/pic7454336.png)
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
/pic7364148.png)
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
This is an FLGS sketch from a few years back; I happened upon it while doing searchy things and it made me chuckle. Hopefully, it’ll make you chuckle too!
(a customer approaches)
Bell: *dingle-dingle-ding*
(a customer enters)
Customer: (cheerily) Good afternoon, shopkeeper!
Cashier: (ruminating) Is that all?
Customer: All what?
Cashier: (shortly) No-one ever says 'Hello' to the door bell, you know.
Customer: (brought up a little short) Eh?
Cashier: Every day you folks wander in and out with your greetings and your needs and your faces -
Customer: - the door bell?
Cashier: Yes. The door bell. It's always there for you - rain or shine.
Customer: But, it's only a -
Cashier: (tersely) Only a what? A piece of musical furniture? An utilitarian metallic soundwave generator? A top-of-the-architrave tinkle-dome?
Customer: Well, yes -
Cashier: Typical.
Customer: (splutteringly) I hardly think that - um - er - do you happen to have any Keyforge decks in stock?
Cashier: Don't try and change the subject! (he points) Look at it!
(they both look up at the door bell over the entrance)
Customer: I don't see any -
Cashier: (peeved) Can't you see that it's been crying?!
Customer: (resolutely) That's just condensation.
Cashier: (folds his arms across his chest) Hmmmpph.
Customer: Look - have you got any Keyforge decks or not?
Cashier: (mouth tight, he nods toward the bell) Hmmmpph.
Customer: (exasperated) Now, really -
(the cashier glares at him; the customer folds)
Customer: (sighing) Oh, alright! (turns to the door bell) Good morning, Door bell.
Cashier: (handing over a handkerchief) You could wipe her tears away.
Customer: (taking the cloth) Very well.
(the customer reaches up and cleans the moisture from the bell's surface)
Customer: (cooingly) There, there; it's alright. I'm sorry that I ignored you.
(the cashier visibly brightens as the customer hands the damp cloth back to him)
Cashier: That wasn't so hard now, was it?
Customer: (contritely) No.
Cashier: Forty years Doris has been in this shop: cheerily tinging her way through Trivial Pursuit, 'Pogs', the birth of Magic: The Gathering; chiming in the rise of the Eurogame, the deck-buiding craze; Pokemon Go came-and-went and all the while she plinked her plonk and doinked her dinkle without complaint -
Customer: Doris?
Cashier: (continuing) - she served my Father and his Father before him (but not here, of course; she was brought in from his Grocery Store in the High Street) -
Customer: (interrupting) I'm sorry to interrupt but do you have any Keyforge decks for sale?
Cashier: Oh...yes; sorry. I'll just check...
(the cashier leans down, clicks a button on an intercom and speaks in to it)
Cashier: Dave? Dave?
Voice: Hello?
Cashier: Dave - have we got any Keyforge decks in stock?
Voice: (there is a pause) No, sorry.
Cashier: Ok - thanks a lot.
Customer: Couldn't Dave have another look around the Stock Room?
Cashier: (bursts out laughing) Ha-ha-ha! What? Dave?! You want Dave to go looking around the Stock Room?!
Customer: Well, actually, yes please.
Cashier: (presses the intercom button again) Ha-ha-ha! Did you hear that, Dave?
Voice: Ha-ha-ha! Yes, I did! That's hilarious!
(the laughing continues for an uncomfortable period)
Customer: Dave is the intercom, isn't he?
Cashier: (chuckling) Yes; yes, he is.
Customer: (departing) For fuck's sake.
Bell: *dingle-dingle-ding*
Customer: Oh piss off, Doris.
Bell: How rude!
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
I rather enjoyed doing this all those (three) years ago; I discovered it in a PPTX while looking for something else and, well, here 'tis:/pic4978860.png)
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
/pic7221470.jpg)
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
(with apologies to Viz Comic)
Proceed at your own risk:Spoiler (click to reveal)/pic7007823.png)
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
Ladies & Gentlemen! The guests are now arriving for The Board Gamers' Annual Ball:
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Mr & Mrs Ayre...
...and their son Chet.
Mr & Mrs Paraleases...
...and their children Al 'n Alice Paraleases.
Mr & Mrs Ontroll...
...with their son Eric.
The Honourable Mrs Phardt...
...with her Nephew: Brian.
Mr & Mrs Chure-Wargumms...
...with their daughter Minnie.
Lord & Lady Uro...
...with their son, the Honourable Justin Arthur and his fiancé Mary Trash./pic6984756.jpg)
Mr & Mrs Menage-Mont...
...and their daughter Andi.
Mr & Mrs Playamarker...
...with their children Forrest and Stark.
Reverend and Mrs Worded-Rulebook...
...with their son Paulie.
And, finally (for now), Mr & Mrs Auction...
...and their children Urban, 'Dutch', Juan-Surround, and Aiden./pic6984767.jpg)
I'm off for my break so please let me know, in the comments, if anyone else arrives in the meantime?!
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
Even though I already have 80% of the content provided in the recent Agricola: Consul Dirigens Deck release (via the six 'miniature' sets), I must - of course - maintain my collection of Agricol-everything by sending a tenner to Zatu and get it anyway.
So, in amongst all of the cards, there are 24 previously 'unseen' 'Mum' and 'Dad' cards - adding a quick start/early bonus:/pic6712360.jpg)
Some of the characters are a bit creepy TBH
So far, so Viticulture-esque; however, the end-of-game scoring for the Mamas caught my eye:/pic6712362.jpg)
While I can certainly travel with Uwe on the 'half a VP' train, I must say I have found my line in the sand when it comes to tenths! Ridiculous, I tell you; a tie-breaking gimmick!
I don't like the existing Agricola tie-break of 'most remaining Food' on the grounds that a player who achieves the Victory podium by theskin of their teethlining of their grumbling stomach has run a tighter, more creditable race; after all, Agricola should be about pain, suffering and noobs complaining that you only get one baby animal regardless of how many animal pairs you possess! Awarding the mud-spattered laurels on the basis of which parent is packing a better fraction is utter bullshit*.
(whispers) Best not mention the Pi cards in Pi mal Pflaumen OR my idea to use Guineas, Pounds, Crowns, Half-Crowns, Shillings, Thruppences, Sixpences, Tuppences, Pennies, Ha'pennies and Farthings in a Victorian-themed design
*of course this would be "horseshit", if playing Agricola: Farmers of the Moor.
Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:30 am
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Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
Welcome...to my Shed!
-
Black Friday is, perhaps, the greatest example of FOMO to date: an exercise in mass hysteria whereby millions are convinced to spend money they didn't originally intend/couldn't afford to spend on stuff for which they have no immediate need because they think they're getting a bargain.
Supply where there is no original demand that, by the very act of supplying now invokes an illusory demand: you couldn't make it up. Physical confrontation, online abuse: no-one needs a flat-screen TV that much.
So, just for today, I am raising the 'online' prices of all of the games in The Museum of Board Games' Gift Shop in protest against this Lemming-like commercial con:
Formula OviNE - £10 plus PnP (originally £5)
Atlantic Crossing - £10 plus PnP (originally £5)
Island Racing - £20 plus PnP (originally £10)
Race The Rails - £30 plus PnP (originally £15)
Ivor the Engine - £20 plus PnP (originally £10)
Snowdonia: Deluxe Master Set - £150 plus PnP (originally £75)
Roll-away! Roll-away! Don't get 'em while they're hot!*
*Come back on Monday
Fri Nov 26, 2021 6:20 am
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