Everyone Needs A Shed

Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Dad, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer.

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The Progress of The Pilgrim

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
It's been a couple of weeks since Ziggy and I circuited the fair town of Newent - preferring, instead, the sheltered-but-slippy woodland topography - so, with the sun hidden-but-still-baking behind a thin layer of cloud, we set off on a favourite course: up to Acorn Woods (at the bottom of May Hill), across to (and behind) the International Birds of Prey Centre, following the stream between the endless orchards and home again.

From gallery of tonyboydell


Obviously, the familiar paths have become trenches amid the swaying crops. Ziggy chasing a bird or an imagined rabbit into the green wheat and then yipping/bouncing his way back to me for a biscuit and/or a refreshing rollabout in the soft grass.

From gallery of tonyboydell


The bare hedgerows, the muddy ponds in the fields and the skeletonized trees have burgeoned with vegetation and present new horizons; I force-march the gradients to get the heart pumping and the legs working.

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Long walks are good for the soul but, according to Chad Valley Co Ltd., they're not quite everything:
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CV - like Gloucester's Glevum Games - were pretty damn huge in the early-to-mid 20th century; the tail-end of their story - the modern bit - is rather cheap and plastic-y, though. Still, I'm sure my own collection of their desirable wares us but a scratch.

From gallery of tonyboydell

Keep walking, champ; it's good for the Immortal Ledger, you know?!


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The chunky spinner is a surprise - I'd have expected a die or two - and, given this edition isn't in the BGG database, it's likely it is a replacement for lost components:

From gallery of tonyboydell


A different Pilgrim's Progress entry, here, mentions a spinner with multiple results on each 'edge', which reminded me of the WW2 dice replacements you can find:
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I fear I may have lost the Moral Compass necessary for successfully-traversing this map; I'll stick to fields and trees and streams, thanks.

Quote:
Aside: Having recently become re-obsessed with The Beatles' white album ('The Beatles'), how serendipitous that Mother Nature's Son has just popped on to play as I wind up this post!
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Tue Jun 1, 2021 6:25 am
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Forest Stump

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
The slow build-up to a proper British summer continues with hints and promises on the BBC Weather app that it's all going to clear up by the middle of the week (ie. today). A soggy May has kept the lawn happy but confined me and the mutt to multiple visits to Queen's Woods if we want to get a decent step-rate in.

From gallery of tonyboydell


The trees are barely-sufficient (in terms of coverage) but there's enough to keep the worst of a black sky downpour at bay. The drainage channels and streams that criss-cross the forest are bursting their banks - Willy Wonka chocolate river frothing and brown - and the paths are mostly-slurry:

From gallery of tonyboydell

Too muddy for walking boots; time to enlist Winter's Wellingtons once more!


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I was mulling over the recording of another monologue but an expected, imminent call from middle son, and just the one topic of conversation nix-ed the idea before I'd gotten the iPhone out of my pocket! That topic? Well, last week - fed up with the lack of commitment from my current employer - I fired off yet another copy of the Boydell CV into the recruitment aether; fully expecting it to vanish into oblivion, I was startled to get almost an immediate call-back! Within 48 hours I'd had a Teams interview and, 48 hours after that I'd been offered the role! No more railways for Uncle Tony - no 75% travel discount - but, instead, something Environment, Food and Rural Affairs-related: swapping my iron horses for some actual cows (maybe?).

From gallery of tonyboydell

Looking back on the path already travelled.


The slurping mud and the slopes work up a sweat so I'm wearing my raincoat like a cape to let the air ventilate via my tee-shirt.

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Despite it being 'peak time', we saw no sign of the occupants of the twenty or so cars in the North-easterly bay; one man and his dog with all those acres to themselves.

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Keeping right (and right, again), Ziggy and I hugged the boundary fences wary of the distant sound of Country Gents' shotgun fire. We diverted toward the Lake, for a bit, but were disappointed by the lack of white and pink lily rafts. With no desire to photograph boring old reeds, we followed the horse track up the long hill to the (now empty) Car Park.

From gallery of tonyboydell


There are still plenty of bluebell glades but they're passed their best already; drooping and rotting, you only get a couple of days when the whole area sparkles like a giant, vegetative sapphire. There ARE other delights: giant, moss-coated trunks tipped onto their sides; deep rabbit holes (thankfully smaller than Ziggy), rusted 1950s fencing wire, gates-to-nowhere and curious, car-sized gouges amid the pine needles.

And, if one is especially lucky; a close encounter with a local resident.

From gallery of tonyboydell

Er...hang on...
From gallery of tonyboydell
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Tue May 25, 2021 6:15 am
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Sugar Daddys Wanted - Apply Within

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
My Newent contact re: possible home for Version 1.0 of the museum is on holiday for a couple of weeks so I thought I'd (finally) get round to sorting some Patreon levels.

From gallery of tonyboydell


To keep things simple, I've gone for CHEAP and EXPENSIVE ends to the Bell Curve with a couple of tweak levels in-between:

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One has to strike a balance between getting the patronage to make the enterprise work and not then have those funds immediately gobbled up by the benefactor benefit obligations. Do these sound reasonable?

As for the site: the properties that could work in the Town run at around 60 quid per week (plus electric) - roughly £300 per month - which translates into the new currency as 100 'Crowdies. Here's a peek at the smaller of the two Lots (the other is currently out-of-bounds with a self-isolating, Covid-worried Survivalist):

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Two rooms - one large, one small.


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Well lit.


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Right in the middle of the town...and 50m away from a micro-brewery and pub ('Cobblers')


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More news, hopefully, as we move into June.
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Sat May 15, 2021 6:30 am
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Millstone

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Social media is a grinding, poisonous habitat and it's asphyxiating; there is no place for nuance, empathy or compromise - and certainly none for forgiveness or tolerance.

Quote:
Facebook, of course, started life as a demeaning "Who's Hot & who's not?" frat-boy 'lark' and, yet, it's now a major platform in our global, gaming discourse: you build your Castle on a swamp and the bloody thing is going to sink into it.
I’ve lost my temper on Twitter, in times past, over (in the cold light of day) trivial things; consequently, folks that I thought knew me far better, cut me off and folks I've never dealt with pronounced upon my supposed villainy at the end of a chain of whispers.

It's a relentless juggernaut of scorn without an expiry date or a reset period. I'm not perfect: catch me on the wrong day and I'm quick to anger, unreasonable, cynical and/or curmudgeonly but that doesn't make me a bad person because it's not who I am...it just makes me those things on that day.

Social media is not a good or safe space for me - and I’m entirely unclear what I get out it when I’m behaving myself (which is 99.9% of the time). It sounds paranoid, I guess, but I would also be unsurprised if I started getting sanctioned for using bad language in the blog - I’m certainly not confident of making a point about the latest controversy without the looming shadow of the (wielded with an unnerving glee nowadays) Banhammer.

So, at the advice of a highly-respected pal, I'm absenting myself from all the Ess Emms; my shoulders feel a little lighter already!
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Sun Apr 4, 2021 6:30 am
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Craftsmen

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
My wife's Grandfather was quite the act to follow: an engineer, an inventor and someone for whom the extended family - a large and vibrant one - was his most important concern; he was also a keen woodworker and conservationist:

From gallery of tonyboydell

Leonard John Carver.


In the late 1990s, John bought an ancient woodland on the side of May Hill: visible from our home in Newent and part of my extended countryside ramblings. We had a family gathering there to celebrate the grand-and-great grand-childrens' legacy; we saw thousands of new trees planted in the bare fields. A year-or-so later, John died and his ashes scattered at the base of a particular tree; subsequently, the ashes of his wife and sister-in-law joined him.

It was over a year ago when I was sent the files for Agricola: Dulcinaria Deck to check over / add rude names to etc. The mechanisms for one of the cards struck a chord with 'the Family'; though, back then, it didn't have any Art. I suggested - rather cheekily, rather hopefully - that Klemens might use John as the inspiration for the card's character art. Soon after, we retreated to our lockdown shelters and only this week did I finally get my hands on a copy of 'the D deck': to my absolute DELIGHT, Klemens was as considerate and generous as he always has been:

From gallery of tonyboydell


While John would certainly have been befuddled by the complexity of the Best Board Game Ever Designed, he would be tickled to chuckling pink by this gesture. John would've been 101 last weekend: we all went up to the May Hill woods to pay our respects.
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Fri Apr 2, 2021 6:25 am
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BotS - Honorable Mention

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
And, so, the last item - in my Best of the Shed retrospective - marks a tipping point in my confidence as a Blogger and a Game Designer: the publication of Snowdonia. Everything about my boardgaming life changed in 2012.

(INT. TONY’S KITCHEN (YES! REALLY!). ROLL CREDITS)

TONY: (ASIDE, OFF-CAMERA)...and that’s why Martin Wallace won’t eat linguine!

PRODUCER: Ahem, we’re rolling?

TONY: (COMPOSING HIMSELF) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to COOKING THE GEEK WAY with me: Tony Boydell

From gallery of tonyboydell


TONY: Today I will be showing you how to create a copy of Snowdonia

(BEGINS FUSSING WITH HIS IMPLEMENT)

TONY: Now this recipe serves between 1 and 5 after quite a long gestation period and should be savoured and digested over 60 to 90 minutes.

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TONY: You will need a variety of wooden pieces that are easily source-able from your local FLGS, carpenter’s workshop and/or scavenged from other Eurogames (waits)...

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TONY: First of all we have our workers; one can't have a worker placement game without workers, can one? And for this recipe you will need four each in five colours: green, blue, yellow, purple and...pink. You know, people often ask me: “What are you doing in my garden?”, they also often ask: “Why pink workers?” Well, it’s vitally important that gamers are in touch with their feminine side and I, certainly, try and touch my feminine side as often as possible

(CUT AWAY. SOUND OF A VIOLENT SLAP AND A SLAMMING DOOR)

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TONY: Next you will need an array of player markers for scoring – make sure the colours match those of the workers otherwise you will certainly get an odd flavor when playing.

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TONY: …We’ll be laying out a railway line up the side of a mountain, so we will need steel bars and some other game pieces for station building and start player: in they all go!

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TONY: It wouldn't be a traditional Eurogame without resources so, for this 4 player setup, you will be needing 27 iron ore, 16 stone and 14 coal; hold off with the coal for the time being as we’ll need that for the trains in a little while! And, of course, where would we be without the weather? Don’t forget to season with five Event cubes for that extra spice!

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TONY:...and the piece de resistance: rubble!

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TONY: Stir up the whole lot…and don't be afraid to get your hands into the mixture…right in there! Squishy-squishy-squish!

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TONY: Pour the whole lot, along with a whole deck of cards, into a greased baking tray

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TONY: Put it all on one side to prove and we’ll spend a few minutes rolling out the game board…

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TONY: …I’m using a basic boardough here – nothing fancy or complicated like Pillars of the Earth or Scandaroon

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TONY:...roll it out until it’s maybe 2mm thick and a rough rectangle…

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TONY: Lay out the board over the filling in the baking tray; tuck it in neatly so it can all percolate nicely in the heat of the process…

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TONY: Then, when you’re done, it’s into the oven 60 months – check it regularly with a playtest group or two – at Geek rating 7.5 (that’s several hundred degrees of opinion).

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TONY: While that’s cooking, here are few suggestions for what Whine to serve with Snowdonia:

(CUT AWAY. PICTURES OF FANCY-LABEL BOTTLES)

TONY: (VOICEOVER) Chateau Grumble Du Pap is an earthy, full-bodied whinge that is strong on ‘how the Events prevent strategic planning’ with echoes of ‘I don’t like randomness in my games’ and ‘Where is the share dealing?’. Alternatively, you could plump – or should that be grump? – for Ernie & Bert’s Sotto Voce: a vivacious, loud and cheeky ‘Slapped on theme’ outpouring with no substance and a bitter aftertaste. Finally, you could do worse than vent your spleen with a glass of The Famous Grouse – a fortified kvetch, almost a drone really, usually accompanying the weather rules and/or the start player rotation.

(CUT BACK TO THE KITCHEN. TONY IS MAKING HIS WAY TO THE OVEN)

TONY: I’m just going to take a quick look...

TONY: (DISAPPOINTED) Oh dear! It looks like this is still half-baked…better pop it back in for another 20 minutes or so...
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TONY: Ah, yes! That’s MUCH better! A delicious copy of Snowdonia for you to treasure forever!
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From gallery of tonyboydell


TONY: It just remains for me to TUCK IN!!! Goodnight.

P.S. That Among The Stars 'quip' is still brutal!
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Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:40 am
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BotS - 10

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Poor Martin; he just can't catch a break, can he?!

(we are in a conference room; several gentlemen are sat around a circular table; there are papers strewn across it. The men look tired: sleeves rolled up, sweat patches on their shirts and top buttons undone. One of them looks like Martin Wallace but, of course, it ISN'T him...just a remarkable coincidence, obviously.)

Exec 1: (scanning a stack of papers) So, we're agreed then: we get a game about 'Shipping' and one about something to do with railways...

Exec 2: (interrupting) ...or Victorian engineering in general!

Exec 1: (acknowledging this excellent point) ...OR Victorian engineering in general...

Exec 2: (interrupting) ...with black cubes and orange cubes!

Exec 3: (interrupting, sarcastically) ...obviously...

Exec 1: (trying to take control) ...with black and orange cubes and those cheap plastic discs in gold and silver...

Exec 2: (mimes being sick) Eurghhhhh!

Exec 1: ...and in return you'd like...what, exactly?

Not Martin: Well, I'd rather like some money.

(the Execs burst out laughing; they're bent double in their mirth: slapping the table, wiping the tears from their eyes etc)

Exec 1: (pulling himself together) Money, you say?

(Execs 2 and 3 continue to snort and giggle)

Not Martin: Yes please. Quite a lot of money, please.

Exec 1: Well, that's not what we had in mind...

Exec 2: (moping his brow and taking a sip of water) ...we were thinking more along the lines of (makes the air quotes sign) "royalties"

Not Martin: "Royalties"?

Exec 1: Yeah, they're a bit like money, only a 'delayed' version!

Exec 2: Inker-ah-mental...

Exec 3: ...with the emphasis on mental, as you'd have to be to accept them!

(Execs 1 and 2 loudly shush Exec 3)

Not Martin: Why can't I have money?

Exec 1: (patiently, as if speaking to a child) It doesn't work that way in this business, mate...

Not Martin: How does it work then?

Exec 1: YOU give us the game designs...

Exec 2: ...we make them and sell them...

Exec 3: ...and then we all move on to other Projects...

Exec 2: ...by mutual agreement, of course; and with best wishes all round.

Not Martin: What do I get out of it, though?

Exec 1: YOU get YOUR game published!

Exec 2: All over North America!

Exec 3: Yeah, exclusively all of North America and the rest of the world

Not Martin: Hang on! The 'rest of the world'?

Exec 1: North America? The Rest of the World? It's basically the same thing...

Exec 2: Yeah, it's the Internet that does it! Shrinks the planet, it does!

Not Martin: But I don't get any money?

Exec 1: You get our gratitude!

Exec 2: And our respect!

Exec 3: And full exposure to our Legal Team if you piss us off!

(Execs 1 and 2 loudly shush Exec 3)

Exec 3: ...which you WON'T, of course, because we LOVE your work!

Exec 2: And we love YOU!

Not Martin: (his palms to his temples, obviously letting it all sink in) So, let me get this straight: I give you my designs and, in return, you don't give me anything at all...

Exec 1: ...correct!

Not Martin: ...and when I chase up these, how you say, "royalties" you will set your Legal Team on me...

Exec 1: ...absolutely!

Not Martin: ...you will publish the games and retain all of the profits...

Exec 1: ...yes! You're getting the hang of this!

Not Martin: ...and I will have nothing?

Exec 3: Not even the shirt on your back, if you get unreasonable.

Not Martin: (considering) Hmmmmmm....

Exec 2: Would it help convince you if I say we will never return your phone calls and/or emails?

Exec 3: ...AND We could snub you at all the major conventions?

Not Martin: Would you consider offering me creative control and final art sign off without any intention of granting it?

(Execs 1, 2 and 3 exchange glances then, one-by-one, begin nodding)

Exec 1: We could go with that, yep.

Not Martin: (reaching out a hand) Then, gentlemen...you have a deal!

FIN.
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Thu Mar 18, 2021 7:20 am
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BotS - 9

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Whose stupid fucking idea was this?!

From gallery of tonyboydell


Summer is coming and it's about time we all got ourselves in to shape, yes? If you don't want to look like a giant balloon filled with water when you rock up for the UK Games Expo, or shuffle through the Messe Halls of Essen with buffalo wings the size of buffaloes, then its time to get fit!

My Work Out (while you're working it out) program will help exercise your body as well as your mind; while your "brain is burning", so are those calories!

First up:

Equipment and Preparation

From gallery of tonyboydell


So, you're all dressed up and raring to go, eh? WARNING! - Don't launch straight in to a heavyweight Euro, or an 18XX, without the proper PHYSICAL preparation! Setting off too quickly, too early and you'll pull a meeple, crease your deck or worse!

Side note: always make sure there are plenty of fluids 'to hand'

Warming Up


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Full Exercises


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It's the final day of WOWYWIO Week, here on BGG; so it's a bit like dealing with tramp vomit outside a piss-stained Bus Shelter ie. a mop-up session.

Other Tools To Shove In Your Box



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From gallery of tonyboydell


And Finally: Don't Forget To Take A Well-Earned Rest!

From gallery of tonyboydell


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Wed Mar 17, 2021 7:40 am
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BotS - 8

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
From gallery of tonyboydell


(we are in the home of Uwe Rosenberg and Mac Gerdts; it is time for bed but Uwe is having trouble getting to sleep)

Uwe: (lifting his head from the pillow) Hey, Gerdts –

Mac: (sighing) What is it, Uwe?

Uwe: I can’t sleep, Gerdts.

Gerdts: (rolls over) Why can’t you sleep, Uwe?

Uwe: My head is full of game designs, Gerdts

Gerdts: Well, try thinking of something else

Uwe: Like what, Gerdts?

Gerdts: (sighs again) How about sheep? Try counting sheep?

Uwe: (gratefully) That’s a good idea, Gerdts; I’ll do that…good night!

Gerdts: (fluffs pillow, settles down) Goodnight, Uwe.

(they both settle down; it is quiet for a short while)

Uwe: (lifts his head from the pillow again) There’s a problem, Gerdts

Gerdts: (rolls over, irritated gasp) What’s the problem, Uwe?

Uwe: I haven’t got enough space to keep all of the sheep, Gerdts; they keep running off

Gerdts: Then imagine building a pasture, Uwe –

Uwe: That’s a great idea, Gerdts; I’ll do that…good night!

Gerdts: (exhales) Goodnight, Uwe.

(they both settle down; it is quiet for a short while)

Uwe: (getting out of his bed and walking around to Gerdts’; he shakes Gerdts) Wake up, Gerdts! There’s still a problem, Gerdts!

Gerdts: (rolls over and sits up; he is angry now) What’s the problem NOW, Uwe?

Uwe: It’s the pasture, Gerdts; it’s now completely full of sheep!

Gerdts: (irritably) Then build some Stables, Uwe!

Uwe: (happily, returning to his bed) That’s a great idea, Gerdts; I’ll do that…good night!

(the bedroom, once more, is silent for a short while. Uwe starts making loud moaning noises. Gerdts sits up suddenly, shocked with eyes wide)

Gerdts: (furious) Uwe! Uwe! Why are you making that noise, Uwe?!

Uwe: (painfully) Because I’ve had to build a Fireplace, Gerdts; there’s so many sheep that I’ve started eating them and now I’ve got indigestion! I’ve got a tummy ache, Gerdts.

Gerdts: (exasperated) Aaaaaaaarrrghhhh! Just go to sleep, Uwe! Stop counting sheep, stop moaning, think about something else and just go – to – sleep!

Uwe: (settling down) Good night, Gerdts.

Gerdts: GOOD NIGHT, UWE! (hurrumphs and settles down)

(there is silence for a while.)

Uwe: Gerdts -

(Gerdts ignores him)

Uwe: (slightly louder) Gerdts -

(Gerdts still ignores him)

Uwe: (slightly louder still) Gerdts!

Gerdts: (sits up again, violently, ranting) WHAT, UWE? IS IT ABOUT MORE ANIMALS? IS IT ABOUT RESOURCE WHEELS? IS IT ABOUT TESSELATING TILES? IS IT ABOUT DWARVES? IS IT ABOUT 101 PLACEMENT SPACES? IS IT ABOUT PUMPKINS OR GRAIN OR GLASS OR BRICK? IS IT ABOUT VIKINGS, UWE? WHAT? WHAT IS IT NOW, UWE!!!

Uwe: (meekly) No, Gerdts; I just wanted to say that my head is no longer full of game designs, Gerdts -

Gerdts: (sighing deeply) - that’s good, Uwe –

Uwe: - no, Gerdts; the sheep are no longer going round and round in my head, Gerdts -

Gerdts: (perks up) Round and round?

Uwe: - round and round and round, Gerdts.

Gerdts: (inspired) Round and round and round? Like a roundabout? Like a rondel? (he is wide awake now)

(there is no reply from Uwe)

Gerdts: (excited) You’ve just given me a great idea, Uwe! I’m excited about it so let’s get up and work on it together!

(silence)

Gerdts: (looks over at the other bed) Uwe?

(there is the sound of gentle snoring)

Gerdts: Uwe?!

(the snoring continues; Gerdts looks at us, raises his eyebrows and wails, frustrated)

Gerdts: Uuuuuuuuuu-weeeeeeee!
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Tue Mar 16, 2021 7:25 am
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BotS - 7

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Everyone needs a song.



"Right," said Feld, "All those bits together,
Pick your action ready for your go.”
Tried to play it, couldn’t even stay it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a Tasse o’ tee and

"Right," said Feld, "Give a shout for Uwe."
Up comes Uwe from the floor below.
After tweakin’, tunin’ and re-themin’
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a Tasse o’ tee.

And Uwe had a think, and he thought we ought to strip out all the auctions
And adjust resource proportions
But it did no good, well I never thought it would


"All right," said Feld, "Have to take the chits off
To get them chits off wouldn't take a mo."
Took the chits off, even took the bits off
Should have got us somewhere but no!
So Feld said, "Let's have another Tasse o’ tee."
And we said, "Ja, so!"

"Right," said Feld, "Have to fix turn order
Need more space for the area control"
Had a palava scrubbing the mancala
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a Tasse o’ tee and

"Right," said Feld, "Have to take the Rats out,
That there penalty’s gonna have to go."
Took the rats out, and the player mats out
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a Tasse o’ tee.

And Uwe had a think, and he said, "Look, Feld,
I got a sort of hunch: Hand
cards have multi-functions?
With a deck or two we could ‘up’ the combos too!"

"All right," said Feld, pullin’ out his notepad
With his ballpoint wrote the whole lot down
A pig in Scheiße, half a ton of dice-uh landed on the top of his dome.
So Uwe and me had another Tasse o’ tee
And then we went home.

(I said to Uwe, "We'll just have to leave it as a prototype for bit, that's all. You see the trouble with Feld is, he's too hasty. You'll never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")
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Mon Mar 15, 2021 7:05 am
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