Black Belt in Geek Kwon Do
Through The Ages
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As a red stripe (3 gup) in Tae Kwon Do (and a green stripe (5th gup) in Rex Kwon Do (Napoleon Dynamite, anyone?)), I know how important knowing the requirements are to achieving your goals. So, I've established these highly unofficial belt levels for Geek Kwon Do.
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1. Board Game: Yellowstone [Average Rating:5.60 Overall Rank:11481]
Through The Ages
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Yellow Stripe

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: cha-ryuht, joon-be
Attacks: front kick, side kick
Defenses: low block, high block
Form #1: Taegeuk Il Jang: Heaven

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: active player, phase
Attacks: frontal assault, flank attack
Defenses: on-the-board turtle, player literal turtle.
On-line Order Form #1: BGG games ranked 1 – 10: Heaven!
 
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2. Board Game: The Wizard of Oz Yellow Brick Road Game [Average Rating:3.79 Unranked]
Through The Ages
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Yellow Belt

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: kyung nye, sa-boom-nim
Attacks: roundhouse kick, back kick
Defenses: out-to-in block, in-to-out block
Form #2: Taegeuk Ee Jang: Joyfulness

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: hosed, rules lawyer, dice fest
Attacks: “rounding” out the trading house, back stab
Defenses: out-to-lunch be-back-in-ten-minutes-oh-you-put-away-the-game-I-guess-it’s-a-draw block
On-line Order Form #2: BGG games ranked 11 – 20 plus 2 cute card games: Joyfulness!
 
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3. Board Game: The Awful Green Things From Outer Space [Average Rating:6.48 Overall Rank:1619]
Through The Ages
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Green Stripe

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: mok chigi, dui dora
Attacks: Spear finger, neck strike
Defenses: knife-hand block
Form #3: Taegeuk Sam Jang: Fire

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: down time, chit, blind auction
Attacks: Drawing the Scorching Spear, Rolling a 6
Defenses: Hoping opponent does not draw the Psychatog, Rolling a 6
On-line Order Form #3: BGG games ranked 21 – 40 plus a 30-hour campaign-type game you’ll never get to play: You’re en fuego, baby!
 
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4. Board Game: Green Beret [Average Rating:6.65 Unranked]
Through The Ages
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Green Belt

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: seh bun chirugi, chik-gi
Attacks: back fist, front-hook kick
Defenses: twist block
Form #4: Taegeuk Sa Jang: Thunder

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: kingmaking, luck-bag, he’s the leader!
Attacks: semi-bluff, the ceremonial shelling of the palace guards
Defenses: bid up the jester, reinforce Indonesia
On-line Order Form #4: Your wife sees you calculating shipping: Thunder!
 
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5. Board Game: Blue & Gray [Average Rating:6.53 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.53 Unranked]
Through The Ages
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Blue Stripe

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: joo sum suh gi , yub chagi
Attacks: back-hook kick, elbow strike
Defenses: double-knife-hand low block
Form #5: Taegeuk Oh Jang: Wind

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: house rule, hand management
Attacks: shoot and scoot, cavalry charge
Defenses: Sicilian, form squares
On-line Order Form #5: BGG games ranked 41 – 60 ordered from the library computer: Wife to get no wind.
 
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6. Board Game: Blue Max [Average Rating:7.12 Overall Rank:1641]
Through The Ages
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Blue Belt

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: Moo-yom
Attacks: tornado kick, jump axe kick
Defenses: x-block, palm-down block
Form #6: Taegeuk Yook Jang: Water

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: meta gaming, filler
Attacks: titan teleportation, advice
Defenses: anti-back-stab, purchase infantry
On-line Order Form #6: All games featuring Water in whatever capacity or importance.
 
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7. Board Game: Red Sun / Blue Sky [Average Rating:7.12 Unranked]
Through The Ages
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Red Stripe

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: soo ryung
Attacks: Split front kick
Defenses: Spreading Block
Form #7: Taegeuk Chil Jang: Mountain

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: brain burner, table talk
Attacks: Dumping stock, barbarian horde
Defenses: Extra tank, build fort
On-line Order Form #7: Expansions for every game in the collection. Stacked games form mountain in the basement.
 
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8. Board Game: Red Star/White Eagle: The Russo-Polish War, 1920 [Average Rating:7.69 Overall Rank:5854]
Through The Ages
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Red Belt

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: ki mah suh gi
Attacks: Jump reverse crescent kick
Defenses: Crossing palm block
Form #8: Taegeuk Pal Jang: Earth

BGG Requirements:
Terminology: meeple, deodorant
Attacks: heavy chariot ram, Babe Ruth
Defenses: truce card, a good offense
On-line Order Form #8: None. No money left. Welcome back to earth.
 
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9. Board Game: Der weiße Lotus [Average Rating:6.19 Overall Rank:5607]
Through The Ages
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White Belt

TKD Requirements:
Show up at a do jang.
Uniform ownership not necessary.
First Lesson is Free.

BGG Requirements:
Show up at a game store/club.
Game ownership not necessary.
First Lesson is Free.
 
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10. Board Game: Red Sun Black Cross [Average Rating:5.82 Unranked]
Through The Ages
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Black Stripe

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: Wae bal suh gi
Attacks: twist kick
Defenses: falling techniques
Form #9: (Hyung) Choong Moo


BGG Requirements:
Terminology: paper scissors rock, OOP
Attacks: obscure rule invocation, cast aspersion
Defense: wild card – (8) long pass, extra horn
On-line Order Form #9: Winning two overpriced, overhyped, OOP games on e-bay.
 
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11. Board Game: Black Elephant [Average Rating:7.67 Overall Rank:5688]
Through The Ages
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Black Belt

TKD Requirements:
Terminology: Guburyo Suh Gi
Attacks: choking techniques
Defenses: weapon disarm techniques
Form #10: (Hyung) Kwang-Gae:


BGG Requirements:
Terminology: soaking off, runaway leader
Attacks: An early Ra!, enter fare wars
Defenses: sandbagging, two eyes
On-line Order Form #10: Selling those same two overpriced, overhyped games on e-bay for 50% more than you paid.
 
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