Gamers of Dubious Distinction
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Do you know any of these guys? I've run into them over the years from time to time. Heck, I've even been one or two of them.
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1. Board Game: Killer [Average Rating:6.14 Overall Rank:7263]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Dirty Harry
The one who struggles to keep from beating on AP guy.
 
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2. Board Game: Senator [Average Rating:5.50 Overall Rank:13249]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Et tu Brutus?
The guy who raves about a game until he gets back-stabbed twice in one turn and then scratches the game off of his want list.
 
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3. Board Game: Kill Doctor Lucky [Average Rating:6.16 Overall Rank:2062]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Finding Bobby Fischer
The guy who sees a die on the table and says, "This game is too random!"
 
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4. Board Game: In the Shadow of the Emperor [Average Rating:6.93 Overall Rank:838]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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The Constipated Gamer
The guy who takes 5 minutes longer than the other players each turn and when he finishes in first place, actually thinks he won.
 
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5. Board Game: He & She [Average Rating:4.76 Overall Rank:14312]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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When Harry met Sally
The couple who sits down to play, but instead of two players, you have one player with two turns.
 
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6. Board Game: War [Average Rating:2.20 Overall Rank:15333]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Me
The guy who tries to explain a game with only two rules and forgets to mention one of them.
 
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7. Board Game: Shakespeare: The Bard Game [Average Rating:5.78 Overall Rank:11068]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Mr. Theatrics
The guy who sees a copy of Fearsome Floors on the table and in a booming voice for all to hear, calls it Finstere Flure.
 
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8. Board Game: Operation [Average Rating:4.07 Overall Rank:15328]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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The Horror with 10 Thumbs
That guy with the fat fingers who knocks over more pieces than he places, opens up a 24 ounce bottle of cola and places it next to your brand new $60.00 game.
 
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9. Board Game: Hurry Up [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Nick Oettinger
United States
Springfield
Virginia
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Let's Just Play

The guy who who has never played the game, and when you're explaining the rules, regardless of complexity, he keeps saying "Well, let's just start playing -- I'll learn better if I just play the game." In fact, he's more insistent when the game is complex. "Let's just play!"

As an extra bonus, he's the person most likely to complain bitterly when you're actually playing and a rule comes up that he's unfamiliar with because he wanted you to hurry up your explanation of the rules.
 
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10. Board Game: Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel Opposites Game [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Mr. Do-Over
Movement completed - the hand has left the game piece...20 seconds to survey the gameboard...10 more seconds for the consequences to sink in: "That's not really what I had in mind. Is it okay if I take that move over again?"

And without waiting for a reply...
 
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11. Board Game: Trial Lawyer [Average Rating:3.33 Unranked]
I am happy.
United States
Milford
Ohio
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The Rules Lawyer. When I play with groups, I play to have fun which means "make new friends". We let a guy into our group and he taught up Puerto Rico. He used the lawyer tactic to bully us into decisions so he would win the game. Needless to say he wasn't invited back.
 
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12. Board Game: Everybody's Talking [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Preston Fuller
United States
Ashland
New Hampshire
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This covers two types. The first is the person (or people)who talk while it is their turn or to the person whose turn it is. Then there is the like ilk who play but take off to do something else when it is not their turn (which always happens when your playing a game like Bohnanza and everyone is part of the turn). In either case you have to remind the person it is their turn, often a few times in one turn. The worst of them then ask what happened, how come the game board has changed, I don't get the rules and then...when the game is over. I don't like this game, it did not make since, the game is confusing. Wonder why?
 
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13. Board Game: Helicopter Race Game [Average Rating:3.00 Unranked]
Don't Panic!
United Kingdom
Sevenoaks
Kent
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The Hoverer - a little like Mr Do-Over, he (or in our case she) selects a piece to move and holds it in mid air over the place intended for play and then... the piece hovers... it hovers back to the place it came from, and then to another place it could move to... and then back to the place where it went first time... By now the game group are all watching the piece intently. It nearly makes a landing before returning back to where it started, only for another piece to take to the air and float around for a few minutes in the same way. 95% of the time, the first piece selected goes to the first place intended.
 
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14. Board Game: Machiavelli [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:1537]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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The Prince.
This is the guy who chimes in somewhere from midgame to endgame "telling" you who to shaft and why. Also known as Mr. Transparent, and The Machiavellian.
 
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15. Board Game: No Respect: Rodney Dangerfield's Game [Average Rating:5.68 Overall Rank:12094]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Clownboy.
This is the poor sap who everyone loves to pick on -- hopefully, it's because he's such a good sport. Everytime he leaves the room, the gang devises ways to screw with his turn, or puts a practical joke into play.
 
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16. Board Game: FIB-OR-NOT? [Average Rating:4.90 Unranked]
Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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The Fibber McGee.
This is probably most of us. When a game is suggested for play, rather than say, "No. I don't like that game." We devise little lies like, "It doesn't play well with..." (pause to count available players).

There has to be some classic white lies told during a game. What are yours?
 
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17. Board Game: Kingmaker [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:1702]
Richard Young
Canada
Victoria
BC
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You are playing "History of the World" and it's the last epoch. You are all in the hunt, but Fred was the Mughals in Epoch VI and did pretty well with them resulting in a decent, but by no means insurmountable, lead. Doofus picks first, of course, and gives the card he picked to Fred without hesitation. It turns out to be Russia. When the inevitable "what were you thinking?!?" question comes up he reminds you that the best faction to play in Epoch VII is Britain, and he was afraid Fred would get it if he didn't give him something else first.

Or, you are playing the last season of "Wallenstein" and things are not looking as good as you'd like but with the right sequence of actions and some luck from the tower, you might manage to overtake the two players ahead of you. Doofus, who is even further behind than you are, decides to attack you rather than one of the two leaders. Doofus is the one mentioned earlier who remembers that you attacked him a month ago...

Or, you are playing "Serenissima" and Doofus ends up being right beside you sharing the western end of the Mediterranean. You are pondering whether to go for one or two of the gold ports, while Doofus is building nothing but "War Barges." He attacks you right out of the starting gate thereby ensuring that neither of you is going to be in serious competition this game. Got to ask the "what were you thinking?" question again. "But I thought you liked War Games! That's what this is, isn't it?"
 
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18. Board Game: Telephone Tag [Average Rating:3.00 Unranked]
Nick Witchey
United States
Laguna Hills
California
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Cell Phone Guy.

The CPG is my biggest pet pevee. He spends all of his time answering his cell phone rather than making his move. Most of the conversations go like this:

"I'm playing a game"

"Yeah, I know."

"I'll be there in an hour. Talk to you later."

Then he says "Hey can I gotta go."

The CPG always seems to be on the look out for the better social party to attend.
 
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19. Board Game: Attack! [Average Rating:5.86 Overall Rank:4457]
A S
United States
Unspecified
California
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Quantitationally challenged

The player who can't get his or her head around the odds, and decides to "go for it."

I've picked Attack! as the example because it typified my experience with one friend of ours, who suffered massive attrition in one turn trying to conquer new territories and repeatedly losing his expeditionary forces:

"I think I'll move into here with three units."

"You know that there will be at least that many defenders, and they fire first, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna go for it."

It's not exactly a general analytical issue -- he rocks at Carcasonne -- but he has real trouble determing when the odds are or aren't in his favor.
 
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20. Board Game: Trust Me [Average Rating:4.93 Overall Rank:14580]
Randy Plane
United States
Unspecified
Idaho
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The Con-Artist. He wants to us to play a new game he just got, but rather than let me take five minutes to read the rules, he "explains" them, invariably leaving out something important or else misstating them altogether.
 
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21. Board Game: Vino [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:2702]
Mark Stadel
Canada
Calgary
Alberta
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What about the compulsive whiner? That player who can't stop complaining ... they're like a broken record. Whether they think the game is too hard/long/confrontational or other players are too slow/mean/aggressive, they always have something to whine about ... all game (and for weeks after).
 
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