Humor that makes fun of itself
J. Romano
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There are three kinds of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who let things happen, and those who wonder what happened.

One of my favorite types of humor is the kind that makes fun of itself (a sort of "self-referencing" joke, if you will). Don't quite understand? Here's an example:

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.

Now, if you had never heard of a "There are three kinds of people..." joke or saying before, you probably wouldn't understand the joke I just told you. You'd probably think it was some sort of typographical error.

But those familiar with that kind of joke or phrase understand the joke for what it is: a joke that makes fun of its own kind. And since I happen to enjoy these types of jokes, I decided to make a geeklist featuring them.

Now, understand one thing: the joke will probably not be funny if you're not familiar with the joke, quote, or phrase it's poking fun at. In addition, I'm not sure how well this type of humor translates to other cultures. So if you don't understand many of the jokes, don't feel bad about it... it just may not be your type of humor.

Feel free to add any "self-referencing" jokes you may have heard. I just ask that all jokes on this list are clean and inoffensive.
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1. Board Game: Deluxe Count'N Out [Average Rating:3.50 Unranked]
J. Romano
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(We already discussed this joke, but I might as well state it as the first item of this geeklist.)

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
 
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2. Board Game: Bar-barians! [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked] [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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Two men walk into a bar -- the third one ducks.
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3. Board Game: Frog Pond Fractions Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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Nine out of every five people are bad at fractions.
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4. Board Game: Two Player Brick by Brick [Average Rating:5.21 Overall Rank:14376]
J. Romano
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Several construction workers were out working one day when an argument came up about who among them was the strongest. They couldn't reach an agreement, so one construction worker decided to take a red brick and head out to the middle of a field.

He thrust the red brick up into the air. The brick reached 100 feet before falling back down to earth.

Then a second construction worker took an orange brick, walked to the middle of the field, and thrust the orange brick up as hard as he could. The brick soared past 100 feet, reaching an impressive 200 feet before falling back down to earth.

Not to be outdone, a third construction worker took a yellow brick and walked out to the middle of the field. With all his might, he heaved the yellow brick into the air. The yellow brick zoomed past 100 feet, soared past 200 feet, flew past 300 feet, and continued on past 400 feet. It went so far up, in fact, that all the construction workers lost sight of it.

After a few seconds, the workers began to realize that there was a possibility that the yellow brick could fall on them if they stood around in the empty field, so they all retreated back to the safety of their building. Since it was close to lunchtime, they all decided to break for lunch, after which they would search for the yellow brick.

After lunch, the construction workers went out into the field to look for the yellow brick, but they never found it. To this day, no one has ever found the yellow brick.
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5. Board Game: Rat Hot [Average Rating:6.32 Overall Rank:2738]
J. Romano
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Extensive laboratory reaserach has been shown to cause cancer in rats.
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6. Board Game: Joker [Average Rating:8.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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A priest, a rabbi, and an elephant walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
 
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7. Board Game: Galaxy [Average Rating:5.46 Unranked]
 
J. Romano
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(With apologies to Carl Sagan, who I think probably would have liked this joke

Q: How many Carl Sagan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Billions and billions!
 
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8. Board Game: Why Did the Chicken...? [Average Rating:6.12 Overall Rank:4762]
J. Romano
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Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?

A: Because it was on the other side.
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9. Board Game: Fun Funky Fingernails [Average Rating:4.67 Unranked]
J. Romano
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For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

-- Johnny Carson
 
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10. Board Game: Red Herring [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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Leo Rosten has said:

The first riddle I ever heard... was propounded to me by my father:

"What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and whistles?"

I knit my brow and thought and thought, and in final perplexity gave up.

"A herring," said my father.

"A herring," I echoed. "A herring doesn't hang on the wall!"

"So hang it there."

"But a herring isn't green!" I protested.

"Paint it."

"But a herring isn't wet."

"If it's just painted it's still wet."

"But -- " I sputtered, summoning all my outrage, "-- a herring doesn't whistle!!"

"Right, " smiled my father. "I just put that in to make it hard."
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11. Board Game: Unpublished Prototype [Average Rating:6.96 Overall Rank:2301]
J. Romano
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Believe it or not, I managed to find an ethnic joke that people shouldn't find offensive:

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particular ethnic group. The first person took offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!
 
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12. Board Game: Ostrakon [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:8722]
J. Romano
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Two men sat sipping their tea in silence. After a while one said, "Life is like a bowl of sour cream."

"Like a bowl of sour cream?" asked the other. "Why?"

"How should I know? What am I, a philosopher?"
 
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13. Board Game: Pulling Strings [Average Rating:6.03 Unranked]
J. Romano
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These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"

The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLkjk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"

"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
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14. Board Game: Mr. Cadbury's Parrot Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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One day an old lady goes on an airplane with her pet parrot. Her parrot is well-behaved as it obediently stays perched on her shoulder without causing any trouble.

Eventually, a man sitting next to the old lady pulls out a cigar and starts to light it. The old lady turns to the man and says, "Excuse me, but no smoking is allowed on this flight." The man just rolls his eyes and ignores her.

A few minutes later, annoyed by the cigar smoke, the old lady once again turns to the man and threatens, "If you don't put out your cigar I'm going to throw it out the window."

This gets the man's attention. He then threatens her with: "If you do, I'm going to throw your parrot out the window, 'cause it's not allowed on the plane, either." This gets the old lady to turn back around, but she is obviously very annoyed.

A few mintes later, the old lady has enough. She grabs the cigar from the man's mouth, opens a window, and throws the cigar out of the airplane. Immediately, the man grabs the parrot and tosses it out the window.

The old lady is distressed. "You threw my parrot out the window!" she yells, but it is of no use. Since parrots aren't allowed on the plane, there is nothing she can do to get the man in trouble.

At the end of the plane flight, the passengers exit the plane. As they are walking down the steps to the runway, they all notice that the old lady's parrot is right there perfectly perched on the wing of the plane! Not only that, but the parrot was holding something in its beak.

One might wonder what the thing was that the parrot was holding in its beak.

It turns out that the parrot was holding nothing other than the yellow brick.
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15. Board Game: Big Breakfast Vital Statistics [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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One out of every four people make up 25 percent of the world's population.
 
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16. Board Game: Right Turn, Left Turn [Average Rating:5.49 Overall Rank:13104]
Hammock Backpacker
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Columbus
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Attributed to Yogi Berra and many others:

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

Here are some good YB flubs that might fit this list including "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

http://rinkworks.com/said/yogiberra.shtml

 
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17. Board Game: Toot & Puddle Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Craig Blumer
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Oshkosh
Wisconsin
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Seeing a puddle, 4 out of 5 kindergarteners will step in it; the 5th will sit in it.
 
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18. Board Game: Quacksalbe [Average Rating:6.21 Overall Rank:11010]
Richard Irving
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If you have a cold, the doctor can give something that will make you feel better in 7 days. If you don't go the the doctor, you'll feel better in a week.
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19. Board Game: Computer Rage [Average Rating:4.20 Unranked]
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
 
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20. Board Game: Atomic Circus [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
J. Romano
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Einstein said that if quantum mechanics is right, then the world is crazy. Well, Einstein was right. The world is crazy.

-- Daniel Greenberger
 
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21. Board Game: All My Children [Average Rating:4.69 Unranked]
J. Romano
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Children are hereditary. If your parents never had any, chances are you won't either.
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22. Board Game: Elephant Challenge [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Barry Figgins
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My favorite self-referential joke requires audience participation, so it rarely works.
Anyway...

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag?
...
It's simple. You take the 'S' out of 'Safe' and the 'F' out of 'Way'.
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