Murder by $GeekGold$
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Board Game: Clue
Board Game: Gumshoe


I've been trying to do a contest list for awhile. Unfortunately, I was too busy over Halloween to do a $GeekGold$ from the Crypt so I was looking for a new theme. I rejected ones based on the Olympics and the Oscars, and then remembered I wanted to do one about detectives. So here is my fifth full-blown contest list - complete with gumshoe theme. The Usual Suspects takes place in the game section while BGG Jeopardy returns to the comments section at the bottom. Both contests will be open all week and will end on 2/17/06. Each day will also have a mini detective contest so keep your eyes open. Inspector Fawkes and Secret Agent Sky Knight X have agreed to help with the judging. Over 150gg in prizes will be awarded! So put on your fedora hat, grab your trench coat, and let's go round up...

The Usual Suspects

Horrors! The game of Monopoly has been found brutally murdered and the police are completely baffled by the crime. Knowing of your expert detective skills, you have been called in to help solve the case. Unfortunately, in true board game fashion, no one knows when, where or how the crime was committed. You, along with the other detectives, have interviewed the witnesses, checked some past history and have begun to compile a list of suspects along with their motives...

For this main contest you must select a game that you think would have a good reason to kill Monopoly. Write up a motive for the game and add it to the list below. I've provided an example in the #1 slot. The motive can be as logical or as far-fetched as you like. Only one entry per contestant will be allowed. A game may only be entered once - duplicates will be deleted. The most entertaining/interesting motives will win...

1st Place - 8gg!, 2nd Place - 5gg!, 3rd Place - 3gg!, 4th Place - 2gg!

This contest will end at midnight BGG time (CST) on Friday 2/17/06 when the judging will commence. Remember, you are only giving out the motive. Who the actual murderer is, and when, how, and why he/she did it will be revealed later in the week. So find a suspect. The game is afoot!
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1. Board Game: The Game of Life [Average Rating:4.31 Overall Rank:21928]
Board Game: The Game of Life
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United States
California
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Motive: Jealousy/Greed

This game's hatred is legendary for he has long suffered in Monopoly's shadow. With Monopoly conveniently out of the way, The Game of Life is now set to become the world's #1 hall-closet classic. Furthermore, at last weeks cocktail gala (held at stately Hasborg Manor), Mr. Life was overheard slurring these angry words while watching Monopoly receive yet another entry in the Guinness Book of World Records...

"Look at em! Whad does thah bastard got that I aint got? All those awards an' special editions. Bah! Don’t I got the cool spinney thingy? An' dinna I cross the toll bridge first? Winny he gets a bank error in 'is favor does ee share the wealth? Nah! Just drives off in dat fancy race car a his, an' me stuffing me kids in me bah'erd heap sideways. Well he wont beat me tah Millionaires Acers! I'll send 'im onna trip to da country where 'ee can become a philosopher ... PERMANENTLY!"

The police wish to bring in The Game of Life for questioning.
 
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2. Board Game: Jack The Ripper [Average Rating:6.90 Overall Rank:10667]
Board Game: Jack The Ripper
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California
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-Mini Contest-

Profiler: Many crime fighters try to gain insight into a case by role-playing the mind of the murderer. Let us test your skills at this fine art. Write a cartoon caption for the picture shown and post it below. I've blown up the picture and provided an example below.

Winners will receive: 1st-3gg, 2nd-2gg, 3rd-1gg, lottery-1gg (a lottery winner will be selected at random). This game will be open until midnight tonight (BGG time). So let's venture out into the fog. The game is afoot!
 
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3. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:21064]
Board Game: Risk
Brian Thomas
United States
Herndon
Virginia
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This game has long seemed content to sit in the shadow of Monopoly, to occupy the smaller niche of family games for really agressive families. Recently however, Risk has been making headway into the mainstream market by using Monopoly's tried and true tactics of branding and retheming. With the Risk variants beginning to overflow the shelves onto the B&N 50% off tables, maybe he felt that it was time to "liberate" some shelf space from his old buddy.

I've been waiting so long, so very long. Conquering one small part of the shelf, and then ending my turn, taking my card. But now I've got a full set and my reinforcements will roll across the shelves to ultimate victory! Roll-and-move, eh? I'll give you roll and move: roll these white dice and move yo butt outta my new space!
 
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4. Board Game: Caylus [Average Rating:7.75 Overall Rank:84]
Board Game: Caylus
Graham Smallwood
United States
Santa Ana
California
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TWO Equals in an "if" statement!!!
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People on the forums have speculated about how Caylus has managed to climb the rankings so quickly. But the most vocal posters about how the game takes too long, or how 5 players breaks it because the Stable becomes a required move, or how the Gate does nothing, have all stopped posting suddenly. It is possible that by consuming the heart of Monopoly, Caylus could get the power needed to vault over Puerto Rico, and the sixth gate would open.

...ggglrghhth squlorrishggloth arrgglorrithssshhh...

Translator: Let's see, it says "Cthulhu will conq AAHHH MY EYES! Bats clawing out of my eyes my brain pours forth darkness!!!....." *thud*
 
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5. Board Game: 1848 [Average Rating:4.93 Unranked]
Board Game: 1848
Steffan O'Sullivan
United States
Plymouth
NH
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"Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy." -Capt. G.M. Gilbert, army psychologist assigned to watching defendants at the Nuremberg Trials.
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Motive: you have to ask? The modern Anti-Monopoly game will probably be a suspect, the Russian Revolution will probably be a suspect, but this game is the mastermind behind all left-wing games who hate capitalism. This is the Professor Moriarity of revolutionary games ...
 
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6. Board Game: Monopoly: Bass Fishing [Average Rating:4.87 Unranked]
Board Game: Monopoly: Bass Fishing
Joe McKinley
United States
San Jose
California
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When I heard the learn’d astronomer; When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me; When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them; When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with
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much applause in the lecture-room, How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick; Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself, In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. W.W.
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Motive: "There can be only one!"

He is immortal, one of a race of many who can only die when the head is cut from the body. When one immortal takes the head of another, the loser's power is absorbed into the winner. The Bass Fishing Edition trained endlessly in the way of the sword, in preparation for the day when he would meet his ultimate opponent, the evil original Monopoly, a murderous immortal brute who lusts for the ultimate power of the immortals, "The Prize"; enough power to rule the earth forever. The various editions fight their way through the centuries, until the time of the Gathering, when the few immortals who have survived the endless battles come together to fight until only one remains, and that winner will receive The Prize. The final fight is about to begin, and in the end, there can be only one.

 
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7. Board Game: Werewolf [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:1811]
Board Game: Werewolf
Robert M
United States
Greenville
South Carolina
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Reason: Example/Money

Some people don't realize this, but an alternate name for this game is Mafia. The Mafia has been leaning on Monopoly to pay protection money, but Monopoly refused. The Mafia doesn't like not getting a cut of the profits and REALLY doesn't like being denied anything.

The Mafia Hitman did his usual good work and the vilagers are left accusing each other.

Since it has long been rumored that is the reason Monopoly had the canon and they even tried to buy the Revolver from Clue, Mafia is the prime suspect.
 
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8. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.13 Overall Rank:433] [Average Rating:7.13 Unranked]
Board Game: Catan
Ken B.
United States
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...and now, we return you to "Murder On Park Place", our Dateline special investigation into what the media has dubbed, "The Monopoly Slaying." Here's Stone Phillips.


STONE PHILLIPS: So at last we come to the final part in this tragic tale. With Settlers O. Catan's conviction on first degree murder and subsequent life sentence, it would seem the mystery was finally solved. But why? What could cause a board game to savagely turn on and murder one of its own kind? Was it jealousy? Blind rage? You decide. Now we take you to our exclusive interview with Mr. Catan from the Federal Prison where he will spend the rest of his days.



******************

Settlers is sitting at a table in one of the high security visiting areas. He fidgets nervously while drawing heavily on a cigarette. It's not hard to see the sadness in his eyes, but it's almost as if you can see some sense of...satisfaction. Satisfaction that the whole ordeal is over, for good or ill.


STONE PHILLIPS: You had it all, Settlers. Fortune, fame, recognition. Most cited you as being the herald of a newer, better era in boardgaming. But now, just over ten years later, you stand convicted of murder. How did it come to this?

SETTLERS: Well, I mean, I never MEANT for it to happen like this. My whole life, that's all I ever heard. "The New Monopoly". "The Savior of Board Games". I mean, eventually, that just messes with your MIND, man.

STONE PHILLIPS: So it was pressure, then? Why did you channel your rage at Monopoly? Surely he would have been like...I don't know, an ancestor to you in some way.

SETTLERS: That's just it, man. It was like...how can I fulfill my destiny? How can I replace Monopoly? He was still living, man! And worse, they'd slap some stupid theme on him like "Bama-opoly" or something like that on him and he'd still sell. I mean, if I'm going to REPLACE the gold standard, how can I do that if the gold standard's still there, right? So I had to do it, man, I had to.

STONE PHILLIPS: Can you take us back to that fateful night? What happened? What was going through your mind?

SETTLERS: Y'know, I just went over to his place to talk, man. Maybe work things out, figure out what was going through my head. But the more we talked that night the more I felt the rage building. Finally...I just snapped, you know? I grabbed him by the middle crease and just pulled and tore with everything I had. He was screaming the whole time..."Don't do it! Please! You'll go directly to jail! Think of 'Kids of Catan!'"

But it was too late, man. I saw the color drain from Marvin's Gardens and I knew I had definitely crossed the line. Still...at that moment, I was just filled with....relief, man. And this horrific sense of glee. I was FREE, man! FREE! And I just remember....I remember...taking all his paper money and just throwing it around the house, into the wind....there were tears in my eyes, but I didn't know if I was laughing or crying!


STONE PHILLIPS: Do you feel remorse for what you did?


SETTLERS: Oh yeah, man, now I do. It's like....it's like life just rolled "7" on me, you know? But I know that I couldn't have gone on living like that. I was in a dark place, and I would've traded 20 sheep just to find my way out. I only wish I'd gotten help before...before this happened.



*****************


STONE PHILLIPS: So...a sad tale comes to a close, one life ended and one life forever altered.


Join us next week as we explore the dark underbelly of Twilight Imperium. We'll hear the "Two Point ISC" controversy and more in our special report. This is Stone Phillips for Dateline...good night.
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9. Board Game: Monopoly Junior [Average Rating:4.31 Overall Rank:21909]
Board Game: Monopoly Junior
True Blue Jon
United States
Vancouver
Washington
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It is time now to hear a dark tale of Monopoly. Monopoly was an abusive father with many lovers, spawning many versions of itself such as the Spider-Man edition, and the Michael Graves edition. Even Knizia was entranced by Monopoly and yet another edition was spawned. Monopoly Junior watched all this with horror and his father beat him into submission every time he opened his mouth. Finally, after Monopoly had a menage trois with the Powerpuff Girls, spawning that particular edition of Monopoly, Monopoly Junior had enough. He burst into Monopoly's bedroom, doused him with gasoline and lit the bed and his father and Bass Fishing edition Monopoly all burned in a glorious blaze.

Monopoly Junior shows no signs of remorse or regret.
 
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10. Board Game: Anti-Monopoly [Average Rating:3.68 Overall Rank:21906]
Board Game: Anti-Monopoly
Matthew
United States
New Haven
Connecticut
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Actually, on second thought, this game appears to have no obvious motive. After apologizing profusely the police let it go. Last seen at the airport.

-MMM
 
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11. Board Game: Finance [Average Rating:4.91 Overall Rank:20430]
Board Game: Finance
David Namaksy
United States
Dallas
Texas
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Motive - Insanity

Dan Layman's 1920's version of what was later to become "Monopoly" was the first to believe to have had Community Chest cards, Double rent due on sets of properties, and 50$ fee to get out of jail.
Dan had shown many people the game and even was selling a version thur the company 'Electronic Laboratories, Inc'. But his version and others, many of which came come from people he had shown the game, were bought by Parker Brothers. Some games like his that Parker Brothers bought were changed and released as a new game.
For many years the spirit of Dan has been in the remaining copies of Finance that exist. But now the mind of the spirit has snapped. He has seen the billions made off of what he believes were his ideas. Dan's spirit has decided to put an end to it all.

 
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12. Board Game: Acquire [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:291]
Board Game: Acquire
Barak Engel
United States
Oakland
CA
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Motive: Sibling Rivalry

In Acquire's own words...

"My bastard brother! Sure, he's a bit older, but I am SO much more talented. EVERYBODY says so! I'm smarter, I'm a better conversationalist, I'm a lot more fun to be with... yet HE gets all the attention! And why? Because he's the squeaky wheel, that's why! Every day he comes up with some new bullshit reason to be noticed! "Ohh, look at my new hairdo, don't I look so much younger? Oh and see me with the football, and see me taking pictures in San Francisco, and see me this and see me that"... bloody hell! It's... NOT... FAIR! So WHAT if he can dress pretty and all different-like all the time? Huh? And all these people keep looking at him with his new costumes and stuff, and they ooh and ahh and flock to him and don't even HEAR me! The bastard! I hate him! I HATE him!"
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13. Board Game: Union Pacific [Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:742]
Board Game: Union Pacific
Jay Moore
United States
Webster Groves
Missouri
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"Rail game? RAIL GAME!?! I'll teach you to call me a rail game, you dirty..."
 
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14. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.37 Overall Rank:21929]
Board Game: Monopoly: Deluxe Edition
Todd
United States
Cleveland
Tennessee
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Motive: Conspiracy Theory

Now over 100 years old poor monopoly has had a hard life. His greedy managers would not allow him to grow as a game. "don't experiment with new idea's stick with what works and keep the fans happy". When his managers told him that this year would mark the introduction of 57 new themes with no change to game play he snapped. He was trapped in the lifetime contract he foolishly signed as a young game, but he couldn't go on with it anymore. He developed a plan. He would fake his own death. A flooded basement would make the perfect scene. Now all he needed was a body. He snuck into the game factory late at night and took the misprinted insides of another game that never was produced. He dressed the remains in an old box and dumped the box into the stagnant water. Now to collect the insurance money and retire to essen. A statement given by his managers revealed this reaction to the new line up.

"Ooltehwah in a Box? Who the heck has heard of Ooltehwah. Guys please look at the games coming out of Germany. Can't we try something new? Tile placement, Area control, anything please"

Police are watching airports for any games that appear to be in disguise
 
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15. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.67 Overall Rank:9019]
Board Game: Clue

Greer
South Carolina
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One sunny afternoon, Mrs. White sat at the window in her conservatory, watching her neighbor, decked out in a top hat and tails, walking his dog through his yard.

Yard, though, wasn't quite the word for it, thought Mrs. White. He had houses and hotels spread out across his property, and, in fact, seemed to have broken down his yard into smaller properties, all in their own little sets and colors. She saw utilities, railroads, and even a jail. It was his own teeming metropolis, complete with rents and taxes. All he lacked was a boardwal--

Ah. THERE it was.

She sighed, thinking of her dreary days inside this large, sprawling mansion. Here, the lights never seemed to be bright enough, the rooms always seemed to be too far apart, and she NEVER went outside. No matter how often she tried the front doors, she found them locked. Pounding on them did no good, as no one ever seemed to hear, and breaking them down ... well, the lead pipe always bent whenever she tried to batter through the locks.

Day after day, she found herself growing more and more skittish. Aside from the gloomy atmosphere, she also worried over who would attack whom next. There wasn't a day that went by when someone wasn't clubbed with a candlestick, stabbed with a dagger, or hanged by the neck until dead. Mrs. White could never predict who would be the next killer, or who would be the next victim. All she knew was that once someone discovered a body, it would be up to the survivors to determine who committed the crime, how it was done, and where it took place (which always confused Mrs. White; never, in her 60 years of residence here, had the body been found in the room where the murder had taken place).

It was a crime. Yes, she thought, it was a CAPITAL crime. Murder took place in this mansion every day, and they were forced to endure it, but somehow, yes, they managed to survive. They managed to come back to life, too (puzzling, that), but the real crime was to live next door to some happy-go-lucky playboy where life was always good. The worst that might happen to him would be a bankruptcy, but she never noticed that it affected him any. He would start the whole process over the next day. The worst that could happen to him would be a few hours in jail. Over there, he didn't have to worry about dank rooms and hidden passageways. Over there, he didn't have to think about revolvers and nooses.

Over there, no one was being murdered.

"Tell me," said Mrs. White to Professor Plum. "Why should HE be allowed to romp all day long, when we're forced to die whenever we get out to mingle?"

"It does seem unfair," Professor Plum replied, rubbing the knot at the base of his skull. Colonel Mustard had entered the kitchen the night before, claiming to be repairing the leaky sink. And who would think otherwise, seeing him with the monkey wrench in his hand?

"Of COURSE it's unfair!" she cried. At the table across the conservatory, Miss Scarlett and Mr. Green looked up from their game of chess. They met each others' eyes before returning to the game. Mr. Green was only a few moves away from a checkmate.

"There's not much we can do about it," said Colonel Mustard, leaning against the bookshelf and puffing on a pipe. "It's just our lot in life. Dreary as it is...."

"Yes, dreary!" exclaimed Mrs. White. "Waking up every morning to the same nine rooms, and the same five companions, wondering who's going to do in whom before the day is out! It's enough to drive a person...."

"Mad?" asked Mr. Green, moving his knight closer to the white king.

"Yes," she whispered. "Very mad."

Mrs. White clasped her hands in her lap, rubbing them against each other. It was a meditative gesture, one that became increasingly dramatic and frenetic. Everyone in the small room watched her as she hunched over her lap, wringing her hands together. It was a long moment before anyone dared break the silence.

"What do you propose we do, my dear?" asked the Colonel.

"Do? DO?" she cried, standing so quickly that her knees popped. "Why not what we do best? We have nooses and revolvers, daggers and wrenches--"

Professor Plum shot another glare at Colonel Mustard, who flushed and returned to browsing the books on the shelf.

"--lead pipes and candlesticks! I say we break a window, charge over there, and show Mr. Top-Hat-and-Tails what we think of his cushy estate! Why not take the weapons we have, and give someone a NEW mystery to solve?"

Mrs. White looked at Colonel Mustard, who raised one bushy eyebrow. He turned his cool grey eyes and glanced at Miss Scarlett, who cocked her head and met Mr. Green's gaze. Mr. Green slowly turned his steely glance to Professor Plum, who turned to--

To--

"I say," said the professor. "Where is Mrs. Peacock?"

A heavy silence blanketed the conservatory. The grandfather clock ticked. Colonel Mustard sucked gently on his pipe. Outside, the neighbor's dog barked happily, but in the conservatory, no one met anyone else's eyes.

"Oh, GREAT," said Mrs. White. "Here we go again."
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16. Board Game: Monopoly: Stock Exchange [Average Rating:5.67 Overall Rank:17546]
Board Game: Monopoly: Stock Exchange
Dr. Urza, PhD of Dungeon Crawl
United States
Washington
Dist of Columbia
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Motive: Jelousy/Greed

Say "Monopoly" (in a board game context) and 999 out of 1000 people will think of Parker Brothers' seminal classic, or one of its innumerable spinoffs, which change the name of the properties, but leave the actual game unchanged. Only 0.1% will think of this version, which completely changes the game, and its fundamental properties. (no pun intended)

M:SE always hated the fact that his older brother was the famous one, despite his grossly inferior gameplay to himself. M:SE reasoned that, with Monopoly out of the way, he could redefine the rules of "Monopoly", and bring original, German-style gameplay to millions of people worldwide.

When arrested, M:SE confessed to the crime, saying that he planned to change his name to "Monopoly" and simply take Monopoly's place in the family room closet. Sadly, even if he got away with the murder, his plan would have likely failed, since only a handful of people could figure out that confusing electronic gadget that keeps track of the proceedings.

Reiner Knizia, M:SE's stepfather, declined to comment.
 
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17. Board Game: Scene It?: The DVD Movie Game [Average Rating:5.51 Overall Rank:20554] [Average Rating:5.51 Unranked]
Board Game: Scene It?: The DVD Movie Game
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
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MOTIVE: ?????

Scene It! sat in the cell, folding and unfolding its board, spittle covered the front of the gown it wore. Special Agent Starling stood studying him for quite some time. She approached the glass, mindful of the danger Scene It! presented even though he was behind several inches of unbreakable glass. Special Agent Crawford, standing behind her, cleared his throat.

"What do you hope to learn from him? He's completely mad."

Agent Starling continued to stare at Scene It!."He knows...something. We have to figure out how to get inside his head."

Crawford snorted in disgust."There's nothing in his head but a box of stupid riddles and a crippled move mechanic. Sure, he's more technologically advanced than the others, but he's still a psycopath. He's the kind that started believing his own press releases, how he saved the gaming industry. Then he was determined that he would be the one that CREATED the industry. With Monopoly out of the way, he could claim that HE was the first"

"No, it's something more than that." Agent Starling looked deep into Scene It!'s eyes. "Scene It! can you hear me? Can you understand me Scene It!?" she whispered under her breath.

Scene It! stopped unfolding, stood up and approached the glass. He was so close that she could read the copyright on his DVD. "Yesss Clarice? Yes, I CAN hear you."

Clarice tried hard to not be afraid, somehow deep inside she knew that Scene It! could sense fear. Agent Crawford started to move forward, to protect Clarice but Scene It! turned his head slightly and smiled, baring his razor sharp tokens at the agent, "Tell your lapdog to back off."

Clarice raised her hand, "I'm ok, Jack. Scene It! just wants to talk."

Scene It! smiled, his eyes dancing, "Yesss, I just want to talk. Like when I talked to Nightmare and then snapped the neck of the Gatekeeper. The police said they had never seen that much videotape scattered over a crime scene. That upstart, claiming that HE was the first to merge television and gaming together. I had the idea YEARS before he was even born.
"Or when I talked to Trivial Pursuit, him with his high & mighty themed edition questions. I did it bigger and better, I was offically liscensed by TV, Movies, ESPN. I thought it was beautiful irony that he would end up cut into six pieces...in a pie."
"or the time DWTripp tried to play me. I ate his store with some meeples and several nice overpriced Gande Lattes. I might add that he screamed like an East Coast leftist yuppie at the end."

Clarice placed her hand against the glass, "We know about all of those Scene It!. We know all about the how and the why of all of those. We have even discovered what you did to GROGnads.."

Scene It!'s breath clouded the glass, "wasn't it the most spectacular mixed-case rainbow you had ever witnessed?"

"..But what we want to know",continued Clarice, "was why you murdered Monopoloy. He was old, blind, lame. He was of no threat to you. Why did you rip out his Community Chest? As infirm as he was, he never had a Chance."

"Because..." Scene It! whispered, slowly unfolding it's board, it's fingers slowly carressing it's sharpened tokens, "..because Monopoly, with his huge bags of money, his thousand house rules, he was... my lover.......and my mother."

Clarice gasped and staggered away from the glass. Agent Crawford caught her by the shoulders and they both stood there as Scene It! started folding inward, muttering in a childlike singsong voice "Have you Scene It!? ESPN? Have you Scene It?! A version with Friends? Yes, I've Scene It! with Potter & Turner, we've all seen it, a gruesome murder."

Agents Crawford and Starling watched as the guards came into the room and calmly placed Scene It! back into its box, securing the bindings and then strapping him to a dolly for transport to the "therapy" room. Barely audible from inside the box, they heard Scene It! chuckle "I saved the industry. I saved it all by myself, even without the help of Shillking. I saved us alllll."
 
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18. Board Game: Careers [Average Rating:5.84 Overall Rank:5900]
Board Game: Careers
The root of all evil ...but you can call me cookie.
United States
Gainesville
FL
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Having lived in the shadow of Monopoly for over 50 years Careers had had enough! Always knowing it was a superior track game forcing players to make their own decisions on winning goals pushing them each towards their goals using it's multi-track system Careers was always shocked by Monopoly's popularity. You can hardly blame Careers though, Monopoly has little strategy and virtually no decision making yet the first thing a player must do in Careers is decide what his destination is going to be! Yes Careers knew beyond the shadow of a doubt it should have been the one to rise to popularity like Monopoly did...but did it ever see any special "Anniversary" issues? No. Were there ever an endless line of branded versions of Careers spanning the gambit of the major professional sports and even NASCAR, to Muppets and Sci-Fi, from wine and chocolates to local cities and universites...NO! Has Careers ever been the subject of a stupid game/contest sponsored by a world wide fast food chain? NO! But now...Careers has showed them all...everyone will remember it's name if nothing else but in infamy. Just like John Wilkes Booth is remembered for killing President Lincoln, just like Lee Harvey Oswald who shot JFK and just like VHS which utterly slaughtered BetaMax (but through cunning and stunning work of it's defense lawyers was acquitted) so shall Careers be ever remember for delivering the permanent bankrupt to Monopoly.
 
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19. Board Game: Beyond Boardwalk and Park Place (fan expansion for Monopoly) [Average Rating:5.88 Unranked] [Average Rating:5.88 Unranked]
Board Game: Beyond Boardwalk and Park Place (fan expansion for Monopoly)
Erik Swedlund
United States
New York
New York
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Motive: Drug-addled Delusions of Grandeur

All strung out on cocaine, this child of the 1980s began to believe itself, a collection of rule changes meant to revitalize Monopoly, more important than the core game. This glorified variant began having delusions of grandeur--thinking that there was indeed somewhere beyond Boardwalk and Park Place, instead of just starting the loop over again at Go, some kind of mystical technicolor faerie-land where pewter wheelbarrows and top hats distributed by hotel-crushed witches danced along a yellow-brick path filled with lucrative properties and free of under-performing utilities. Whipped up into a narcotic frenzy, the variant longed to give Monopoly "a ride on the Reading Railroad" to hell.
 
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20. Board Game: Spinergy [Average Rating:5.71 Overall Rank:15935]
Board Game: Spinergy
Paul Boos
United States
Falls Church
Virginia
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Motive: Unknown

It was witnessed by many - the same Many that were jointly responsible for the doom of the classic roll and move.

It was a dimly moonlit night. I was there; I was commanded; I did it, as did many others, but we were only following what IT said. All of us heard the calling - Abandoned Factory Meeting; Scenario: Show how you would gather for a party. It was as if everyone had played it thousands of times before. With such an unusual set of words and a scenario, we all did the same thing.

As the final number of us stumbled into the parking lot of GDW's old production facilities outside Chicago, we saw one of the stars fall towards earth and right at us!

Did we feel fear?

No, we stood mesmerized awaiting our commander. The saucer shape unmistakeable and the smooth spin of the disks silent in their deadly messages. With an effectiveness that only a game of modern design could show, the Spinergy issued forth the command: Get Main Threat. Scenario: Convince a friend to go to an event they likely will feel is their last.

We stood transfixed for a bit, then we realized convincing wasn't needed; the Spinergy knew it would be brute force.

We broke into Monopoly's house at a quarter to one. It awoke and tried to race away, but it was a futile attempt. Our hands ripped through the walls, broke the windows, and tore open the doors. We didn't care that many of us were feeling pain; the command was above all. We muffled its screams and took it to meet our master.

We stood there; we saw each ring spin, slowly at first, then faster and then they glided to a stop: Burn Establishment Tonight. Scenario: Show how you would start a Revolution.

That's all I vaguely remember. When I awoke, I found my bloody, slightly charred hands folded in my lap. They hurt, but yet I felt giddy with some secret delight. I could still feel the instinctive call to see if more commands would be issued, but none came. For now, it, and I, was at peace.
 
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21. Board Game: Astromagie [Average Rating:3.48 Unranked]
Board Game: Astromagie
Nathan Beeler
United States
Seattle
Washington
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Motive: Revenge

Original monopoly inventor Lizzie J. Magie has returned from the great game convention in the sky to seek her revenge on usurper Charles Darrow's stolen creation. Inhabitting the soul of a relatively unknown card game, Magie, or Astro-Magie as she now prefers to be called, was able to slip unseen into the friendly local gaming store underneath a copy of Apples to Apples Junior (also being interviewed as a potential accomplice). With the patience of French literary character, we believe she has waited four years to perform deeds most foul and unnatural. She may have escaped suspicion, too, if we hadn't found a "Get out of Jail Free" card tucked in her box and a trail of cardboard shavings leading to her space on the shelf.
 
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22. Board Game: Ghettopoly [Average Rating:4.61 Overall Rank:21445]
Board Game: Ghettopoly
Mike P
United States
Castleton
New York
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Motive: Revenge for Corporate Espionage

For years, Ghettopoly toiled long hours to become the greatest and most unique game. Just as he was about to go public, Monopoly stole his ideas and raced to market. Ghettopoly was beaten by a mere 100 years and was ruined. He vowed revenge.

He should be considered the prime suspect.
 
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23. Board Game: Rossyïa 1917 [Average Rating:7.29 Overall Rank:9059]
Board Game: Rossyïa 1917
Phil Garland
United States
Charlotte
North Carolina
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Dukes we despise, Kings we cannot be, Gamers are we!
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Motive: World Revolution

The running dog lackies of capitalist imperialism have long touted Monopoly as the ultimate goal of bourgeois civilization. Even their children have been trained by the game to revere the relegation of the proletariat to row upon row of cheap plastic houses and huge “hotels” for the poor. Protesters against this oppression are sent to jail or to slave in “public” works, or deported via the numerous railroads leading to the outlying mines. Such reactionary activities must stop! The power of the top hat and the cannon must be overthrown by the heroism of the meeples! Down with Monopoly!

So went the slogans in February 2006, when the final uprising of the BGG masses took place. Monopoly was destroyed, and the world entered into the final stage of development—each meeple on its own little square of territory. Everyone equal, everyone happy. For those who are not happy—go directly to the Lyubyanka. Do not pass go, do not collect 100 rubles. Or any sheep.
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24. Board Game: Global Survival [Average Rating:1.95 Overall Rank:21850]
Board Game: Global Survival
Jorge Montero
United States
St Louis
Missouri
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It wasn't a murder after all: It was just an accident.

There I was, as my client had requested. I was disgusted by the scene. Monopoly lied there, flattened on the ground, just like a bug. His box flat as if had been ran over by a bulldozer. All of his guts were spread around: Houses, hotels and playing pieces swimming in a colorful and macabre pool of money. I stepped back, too disgusted to look any closer. It's then when I realized that Monopoly's corpse was lying inside gargantuan foot print.

I stood in amazement, trying to figure out what beast could be large enough to leave such a mark on the ground. After all, Monopoly is a big game, full of bits. He was pretty lengthy: It's well known that there's no way to finish a game of Monopoly under three hours! Af first I suspected that the dark god of games, Campaign For North Africa, had been summoned by a dark covenant of Grognards to assasinate poor Monopoly. I soon realized that my hypothesis could not hold true: If the Dark Grogrands were powerful enough cast the 10,000 hour long summoning spell, they'd have asked the Dreadful African to deal a major blow to the gaming industry, like asking it to destroy every game without a CRT. No, it had to be something else.

It was then when I realized that, among the big pile of money, one strange bill stood out. Undoubtly, whichever game had stomped on Monopoly must have injured itself with the poity side of the shoe that Monopoly always carried with him. This dark, evil piece of paper read 'International Currency :500 billion'.

500 billion!

That bill could have only come from the Leviathan of monopoly clones: Global Survival.It was easy to find him. A game that contains over 150 countries to hide for very long. A trusted friend who spends way too much time gaming with a clan of Eskimo vampirates told me that Global Survival worked as a used Spitfire dealer in the Land of Tanzania. It took me weeks to collect the whale blubber necessary to gain passage in a cowboy ship-of-the-line. At last, I'd be able to confront the murderer.

"I didn't kill no-one, good sir", Global Survival said. "It is true, I did visit Atlantic City that day, but I don't have any motive to kill that Monopoly you speak of. I have 12 Money Denominations, over 150 spaces, a big manual, and I'm on a quest for global dominance. Why should I have anything against a short game about real state?". It was then that I realized Global Survival could not have voluntarly kill Monopoly: A game like Monopoly was as inconsequential to him as Gulo-Gulo or Pickomino.

I called my client, and informed him of what I had learned: Global Survival was so big and self centered that he had lost touch with reality, just like its designer. I requested my payment, A shrinkwrapped copy of Poisson D'Avril, a game rarer than a geeklist with no mention of Busen Memo. It was then that my client told me that he had never intended to give me my payment. All of those weeks trading for Whale Blubber had been a total waste of my time. Angry after this pointless goose chase, I went to the tallest mountain, and yelled into the wind:"Amun-Re, you are the crappiest client Ever!"
 
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25. Board Game: Freemarket [Average Rating:5.57 Unranked]
Board Game: Freemarket
Paul P.
United States
Waukesha
Wisconsin
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Motive: philosophical conflict

From the very beginning, Freemarket and Monopoly did not get along; each visualized a capitalist utopia, but their visions were diametrically opposed. Freemarket sought efficiency, innovation, and customer satisfaction through the pressure of competition. Monopoly preferred to eliminate that competition, enabling it to wallow in obsolescence while collecting record profits.

Monopoly has clearly been dominant for years, securing its position through extensive political contributions. Faced with overwhelming evidence of corporate collusion, yet unable to obtain justice due to governmental corruption, Freemarket is ready to take matters into its own hands. The people have suffered long enough.
 
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