Things I'll Do for Geek Gold
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Yeah, yeah, I could earn Geek Gold the old-fashioned way: writing reviews, uploading files/pictures, GeekMod, blah blah blah. But I'm an American. I want the quick fix, the miracle drug, the South Beach Diet, the 20 minutes, three times a week excercise program. So I offer the following premium services, available only for a limited time and only here on BoardGameGeek.com. Call now!
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1. Board Game: Pyramid [Average Rating:5.83 Overall Rank:12618]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Earn GeekGold from the comfort of your home. Only 20 hours a week. No selling required. Send me 5 GeekGold and a self-addressed, stamped envelope and I'll send you all the details.
 
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2. Board Game: Lottery [Average Rating:4.28 Unranked]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Super PowerGeek Ball! Random drawing to be held April 1, 2006. Choose 5 games in the top 50. Get all 5 right and win! Each entry only costs 1 GG. Jackpot subject to number of entries (minus administrative fee, of course).
 
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3. Board Game: Auction [Average Rating:5.15 Unranked]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Yes, that's right, I'm selling off my self-respect to the highest bidder. Welcome to mBay! How much will you pay for the following items:

Montu's integrity: starting bid 25 GG (reserve: 40 GG)
Montu's dignity: starting bid 15 GG (reserve: 25 GG)
Montu's credibility: oh, hell, you can have it.

Buyer agrees to pay all shipping costs. Montu accepts money orders and PayPal.
 
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4. Board Game: For Sale [Average Rating:7.22 Overall Rank:262]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Does your favorite game not get the respect it deserves? For a piddly 5 GG I will add a game of your choice to this GeekList and say gushingly wonderful things about it. This is a limited offer, void in CA and CT, not applicable to Settlers of Catan. This offer is also available in a package deal: for 10 GG, I'll add your game to this list *and* to my personal top 10 games list for a week, plus I will give your game a 10 rating.
 
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5. Board Game: Sponsor [Average Rating:6.44 Unranked]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Does your product/service need a bit of extra attention? Don't underestimate the cache of being associated with a board game. Literally dozens of Americans play board games daily, and why should they play non-branded games? For 10 GG, I will henceforth refer to any classic game as (Product Name)(Game Title). Pepsi Chess, Insight.com Backgammon, Hershey's Mancala. Oh, I love the sound of that!
 
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6. Board Game: Sex! [Average Rating:4.40 Unranked]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Call 1-900-HOT-GEEK and share all your game fantasies with this young, nubile gamer. Hot 3-player action, big boxes, loaded dice. Yeah, baby, I "Spank the Monkey" and I've got wood for sheep. Call now. 1 GG per minute. All major credit cards accepted. Must be 18 or over to call.
 
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7. Board Game: Dog-opoly [Average Rating:4.06 Unranked]
Alex Bove
United States
East Lansdowne
Pennsylvania
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Some people think this game is Shih-Tzu, but I'm here to say that it's actually Poodles of fun. Of course, I prefer to play with the original rules (no money for Free Barking).

All kidding aside, this game is dripping with theme. Where the original Monopoly arbitrarily assigned values to properties (why is St. James Place more valuable than Baltic Avenue?), Dog-opoly uses breeds which increase in value as they increase in size. If I get dog houses for my St. Bernard and Great Dane, you're in deep trouble. If I get big bones (hotels) for them, it's lights out. Extra touches, like the Fire Hydrant replacing the Water Works, really add to the realism. You can almost smell the urine on the hydrant.

My main complaint about this game is the designer's decision to use the original Monopoly pawns. The dogs have a tendency to chase the car, the shoe is chewed up, and the hat has been pooped in. But these are minor concerns really. The excellent, tense gameplay more than compensates.

Dog-opoly's BGG rating of 5 is a complete travesty, one I will be rectifying as soon as I finish this comment. Get this game now, before it goes OOP. You will thank me.
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