This Box is Too Ugly to Even Consider the Game
that Matt
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Michigan
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I've noticed that I have completely ruled out some games based strictly on the box. I don't want to see it; I don't want to play it; I don't care to know that it exists. All because of the terrible box cover I keep seeing on BGG. This is about the curse of ugly boxes, not games that are just generally ugly.

Every time I see it pop up on a GeekList, I think about blacklisting the preview image URL so it never appears in my browser again. Every time I click into its forum from the front page, I remind myself never to click on one of its threads again. It's so ugly that I can't imagine having it on my shelf, much less enjoying whatever is inside.

STOP: before you add a game to this list! Calibrate your perception of pain that seeing this cover causes you, based on the following chart. (Improved pain scale stolen from Allie on Hyperbole and a Half.)



So no, boring frowny Euro boxes do not qualify for this list. They aren't in the same league. You might try one of these:

Great games with bad boxfronts (Mediocre box art.)
Box Art Facelift (Cause It's Pretty On The Inside) (These are just "not so great.")
Board Game Boxes That Deserve To Burn In Hell (Random 2000+ ranked games: who cares?)
That game looks awful! (This list covers the overall game, not just the box.)
Ugly Wargame Box Art Covers (I don't care about wargames.)
Which of these ugly games secretly has a great personality? (I still don't care about wargames.)
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1. Board Game: Heads of State [Average Rating:6.13 Overall Rank:3962]
David Sant
United States
Easton
Massachusetts
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the creepy photoshopped faces get me every time.
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2. Board Game: Duel of Ages Set 1: Worldspanner [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:1771]
that Matt
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This box is so ugly that the representative BGG image is only 150x150 pixels. Here's a better look:


Yes, it's a godawful swirled-together four-pack of banal digital versions of banal painted landscapes. But that's not enough. That just shows you a vomit-inducing Swirly of Ages, but the DUEL part wasn't coming across well enough. How could we possibly communicate that there is a DUEL involved?

Ah ha! Hastily pasted-on images! Like an old-timey gun, a flamethrower, a new-timey gun... and a horse hauling a bale of hay. (Horse are the guns of Creepy Castle Land.)

It's like they always say: "bring a horse to a gun fight."
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3. Board Game: Monster Derby [Average Rating:6.13 Overall Rank:7844]
Jeff Dunford
Canada
Kemptville
Ontario
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This is the ugliest game in my collection. The components feature much worse art, though.



Fun game (with the right group); horrible art. The sides and back of the box are even worse than the front.



On the side, it says "2 - [infinity] Players (though >10000 tends to bog the game down a bit!)"
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4. Board Game: Cannes: Stars, Scripts and Screens [Average Rating:6.16 Overall Rank:4709]
Jonathan Harrison
United States
Fisher
Illinois
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Come on, people. You had to make me say it? All right, then I will.

This is a BAD cover:



Worse, the rest of the game's art is in exactly the same style:




You have to love this game (I do) to be able to own it, let alone play it.
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5. Board Game: Netrunner [Average Rating:7.45 Overall Rank:596]
that Matt
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Purple!
Orange!
Green!

By your powers combined, I am Captain Vomit!

Go, Vomit!

Do I have to get into the omgBorgcybertech texture? Good thing they pasted some random images from cards on the side, too, just to mix it up a little bit. Yes, I know it was the '90s. That's no excuse for this severity of crime. Praise be to the FFG reboot.
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6. Board Game: Save the President [Average Rating:4.80 Overall Rank:14474]
W. Eric Martin
United States
Apex
North Carolina
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I'm a fan of this one in terms of badness, so much so that I bought the copy depicted in this image when the owner was clearing house a few years ago. Here's a larger shot than the thumbnail, although not quite large enough to appreciate the headshot of the designer and the long pullquote about his own game:


The true glory, though, is the game board:

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7. Board Game: Carpe Astra [Average Rating:5.99 Overall Rank:5225]
Brian Current
United States
Carmel
IN - Indiana
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This may or may not be a good game but it is not a good cover.
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8. Board Game: Beest [Average Rating:3.75 Overall Rank:15253]
Nathan Ehlers
United States
Cleveland
Ohio
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BEEEEEEESSSSSSTTTTTT....



Colored pencils...check
5-year-old with ADD...check
Bowl of candy...check
Duct tape to stick the pencils to the 5-year-old's shoes...check

...We're ready to make some box art!
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9. Board Game: World in Flames [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:951] [Average Rating:7.51 Unranked]
Martin Larouche
Canada
Longueuil
Quebec
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Because the first thing that comes to mind when looking at this cover is *not* about war.

I am 99% sure it was done intentionally too.

I do not want boners on my box covers.
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10. Board Game: The BoardGameGeek Game [Average Rating:6.04 Overall Rank:4227]
Zé Mário
Portugal
Porto
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- Kids I want each one of you to print images from a website that looks from the 90s, and do a collage in a box with it!
- Yaaayy
- Is that a dove, Timmy? Now that's just silly.
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11. Board Game: Freya's Folly [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:3553]
Fraser
Australia
Melbourne
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Back in the days when there were less maps we played every map back to back
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Ooh a little higher, now a bit to the left, a little more, a little more, just a bit more. Oooh yes, that's the spot!
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12. Board Game: A Touch of Evil: The Supernatural Game [Average Rating:6.98 Overall Rank:747]
David F
United States
Emeryville
California
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I like having pictures in my board games.

But every picture looks so staged.
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13. Board Game: Wizard [Average Rating:6.90 Overall Rank:676]
that Matt
United States
Ann Arbor
Michigan
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Sweet baby Cthulhu, just look at that box. It's like ancient runes... carved in rock... and then highlighted in primary colors. Just like a badass wizard would do. If that badass wizard ran out of mana and just had some crayons lying around. And then the title! "Hey, hey, put WIZARD but make it like GLOWY green with, like, LAVA in the middle, man. Yes, man. Yes."

I can't even fathom what would thought process would bring someone to design something that looked like this.

This German monstrosity has so repelled me that -- even though I know it's not even the English version -- I can't imagine having its less ugly associate lingering on my shelf. Every time I see the little preview image on a GeekList I get a little twitch in my left eye. It bringt meine RAGE alright.
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14. Board Game: Lorrein [Average Rating:5.94 Overall Rank:11757]
Thymen
Netherlands
Enschede
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Not a known game but it sits on the bottom of a very big stack of games in our clubs closet. It was a demo game of the local store who never got it to the table... Same goes for us.

This is one of the few occasions I judge a game by its cover.
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15. Board Game: Oluja 1995 [Average Rating:1.50 Unranked]
Daniel Danzer
Germany
Stuttgart
southwest
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With some promo-woman.


With the "sides"

Besides it is an "educational" propaganda game about "Operation Storm" for kids, the art alone is, well ...
An obvious "12" on the pain scale for sure.


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16. Board Game: 20 Questions [Average Rating:5.62 Overall Rank:10718]
Ben Lott
United States
Mason
Michigan
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Sweet Lord, what is going on here!?! It's blue, yellow, and purple, which would look bad enough; but then they also could title it "20 awful fonts" with the way that title looks. Add in these people who look sketchy in more ways than one, and cover their eyes with question marks like the movie Coraline in real life. If this is the "New Edition" I'm thinking they need to go back to the way things were in the old one.
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17. Board Game: Attack Vector: Tactical [Average Rating:7.26 Overall Rank:4469]
James To My Friends
Netherlands
Eindhoven
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This is what first popped into my head. Bask in all its bad cheesiness.


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18. Board Game: Monty's Gamble: Market Garden [Average Rating:7.06 Overall Rank:3061]
Björn Hansson
Sweden
Bromma
Stockholm
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Private Tumbleweed of the *special* forces?





Rumor has it the reprint will have a new cover. I say: good call.
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19. Board Game: Galactic Destiny [Average Rating:6.22 Overall Rank:7904]
Forty One
United Kingdom
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I rate it a 6 "moderately eye watering"
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20. Board Game: Bus [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:1866]
Roy Hasson
Israel
Kfar Saba
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I'd rather walk.
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21. Board Game: Dragon Pass [Average Rating:6.81 Overall Rank:3168]
GodRob
United States
Culpeper
Virginia
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This cover art takes away so much from this otherwise awesome looking game.


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22. Board Game: Roads & Boats [Average Rating:7.74 Overall Rank:274]
Paul M
United States
Elkhart
Indiana
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Hey look, it's a colored-pencil drawing from a 1st-grade classroom. That definitely conveys to our consumers that there is a solid, deep strategy game hiding in the box.
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23. Board Game: Battle Beyond Space [Average Rating:6.36 Overall Rank:4401]
Francis K. Lalumiere
Canada
Brossard
Quebec
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Now don't get me wrong: I *love* this game, and I've lovingly pimped my copy.

But the game box is frakkin' ugly. So much so that I had to talk my space-game-loving friends into playing.
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24. Board Game: Ecclesiaste III "The Quest" [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Mat Thomsen
United States
Medway
Massachusetts
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"Limited Edition"??!!

Sorry this pic isn't larger. But, I've seen this game in person (I did not spend the $1.50 on it). Scissors and scotch tape would have made those photos look better on the box.
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25. Board Game: The Twilight Saga: New Moon – The Movie Board Game [Average Rating:2.77 Overall Rank:15200]
Brian Current
United States
Carmel
IN - Indiana
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I see enough pale people when I game, I don't need them on the cover.
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