[CLOSED/SUCCESSFUL] Ultimate Trade: Three I Like OR Get ‘Em Outta My Site
Ryan Wheeler
United States
Mobridge
South Dakota
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WARNING: READ THIS TEXT OR YOU’LL MISS A DOOZIE!

WARNING: DON’T READ THIS TEXT OUT LOUD!

This is my first Ultimate Trade List (I think it’s my first list; I’m a voyeur.) so bear with me. (please)

Listed below are THREE games that I kinda like. Why am I getting rid of them? Well, read the comments attached to the games. Suffice it to say, they will not get played again. I peruse the trade possibilities and no decent ones exist. I peruse and cross-check. Calculate and estimate. Screw all this work! I’m SICK of pandering to THEM! Sick of trying to find them a home where they’ll get played while being careful not to get friends of THEIRS in return!

So I’m doing something about it! (dammit)

To illustrate that this is no joke and, in fact, a very serious matter; to show everyone how willing I am to resolve this situation, the person who takes ALL THREE of these games from me in this trade can pick ONE of the following FIVE BONUS ITEMS:

1. A picture of a HAIRLESS PET
2. A well sealed BAG OF SAND
3. A sample of tap water from VALENCIA, CALIFORNIA (also well sealed)
4. A random AND common Star Wars CCG card enclosed in a SLEEVE OF PROTECTION
5. A sample of my handwriting using THE 26 LETTERS OF THE ENGLISH ALPHABET

WOW!!! I WOULD ENCOURAGE EVERYONE PARTICIPATING IN THIS LIST TO INCLUDE SIMILAR “SWEETENERS” TO HELP SEAL THIS ULTIMATE DEAL.

To give me (okay, us) a better chance, multiple forks are allowed. As I understand it, I can terminate any list-path at any point and trade for the final game(s) on the list. I think we all know how it works (by ‘we’ I mean ‘you’).

Remember, no splitting my games up! They are the Three Musketeers, the Enlightened Triumvirate, the We Are All Rated Over 6.05 Group Of Games Guys! You can take a look at my Want List and try to decipher what I’d actually take, but with these Ultimate Trade things you can pretty much throw ‘normal’ into the Lake of Doom. It’s a SLOW frenzy!

And to be clear, you are not restricted to a three game offer. Any offer of similar value will do fine. So one game is fine too.

Also, I WILL ship overseas! Please indicate on your entries where you will ship along with any caveats.

DON’T have fun! This is SERIOUS! No CHUCKLEHEADS!

The time frame on this trade has not been determined. Mine is a leisurely desperation. It will end when it ends. But don’t worry, I won’t let your tradables languish forever. It should be sooner than later. Once underway, I’ll post my thoughts. No, just the thoughts pertaining to the status of this list you sicko! If this turns out to be a miserable failure, I’ll try and have the temerity to eat crow and bound away.

Thanks for participating!

Ryan

P.S. DO NOT do what I did and list multiple games in the same offer as separate list items. One entry per proposal please. Use comments if you must add items to the same proposal. And list your fork-paths, as usual! Frito-Lay rules apply: Enter as often as you want, no purchase necessary. Any abuses will be dealt with by my terrible, swift cheese sandwich. FLOOP!

I KNOW, I KNOW! LIST YOUR BLESSED ITEMS ALREADY! (I never can shut up.)
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1. Board Game: Garten-Zwerge e.V. [Average Rating:5.75 Overall Rank:11608]
Ryan Wheeler
United States
Mobridge
South Dakota
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What can I say about this? That I have a thing for Gnomes.

Truth is, the times we’ve played it we end up saying…

“Your bid shows how much you will pay, mine shows how much I’m “willing’ to pay or take; maximum if I’m looking for a mate, minimum if I’m offering a mate. What?”

…more than we say the word ‘and’. So I do like it but it’s too much work and makes us all giggly. Which is, to say the least, hugely uncouth when it’s just a bunch of dudes sitting around the table.

The cool thing about MY game is that I did a great paste-up job on it. I downloaded the English artwork (and rules) from the publisher’s website, printed everything on adhesive-backed paper (except the rules) from a color laser copier (a nice one) and P’TING! Of course, if you want a German copy you could say I defaced the cards with a K’POW! So, what I’m trying to say is that it probably won’t affect the value at all to a bunch of tight***, do-it-yourself gamers like the kind that hang around these lists.

To recap, the paste-up REALLY looks great, it’s a very unique game, and if I can’t get rid of it in this trade I’m going to keep it forever just for the weirdness factor. It helps to pull things like this out when there are non-gamers with whom I DON’T want to play games. “Gnomes humping in a garden shed? Honey, why don’t you go warm up the car and I’ll help you.” SCRRRREEEECH!
 
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2. Board Game: HellRail: Third Perdition [Average Rating:5.87 Overall Rank:5739]
Ryan Wheeler
United States
Mobridge
South Dakota
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Another ‘not bad’ game. Why won’t it get played again? Giggles are, again, involved.

I had a friend (non-gamer) who has lots of teeth hand us our seat-cushions while playing this game. He beat us raw and thought it was so funny that he couldn’t help but twitter like a five year old girl on helium throughout the entire game.

So I see this game and I see giggling teeth. If you get this in trade, I guarantee that you won’t see the giggling teeth. Well, the SAME giggling teeth anyway.
 
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3. Board Game: Ark [Average Rating:6.27 Overall Rank:2522]
Ryan Wheeler
United States
Mobridge
South Dakota
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You mean the new one? Yes. You mean the Doris and Frank one? Yes. The English version?! Yeah!

Of the three games offered, this is my favorite. I’ve played it about four times, taught it about eight times, answered rule questions about twenty-nine times, and stuck my nose into someone else’s game to point out an incorrect card placement about seventy-one times.

Yes, the Gnome problem comes two-by-two. This game is just too hard to govern for most of our tastes, except without the giggling. It’s a shame too because, like the other two, it is very unique with some very unique systems.

I printed out (with the same incredible style) some really nice player aids available here on the Geek and laminated them (5mil hot lamination on a GBC DocuSeal 1200 for you Analites who really care). They are so nice (how nice are they?) …They are so nice that they show you exactly how stupid you were three turns ago when playing this game! “A warm climate card in a cool climate stall? How the #*@% did that get in there? What, me? Why didn’t YOU catch it? It was MY turn so I COULDN’T pay attention! Yeah, I see the really nice player aid b****!

See?
 
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4. Board Game: Wings of War: Famous Aces [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:819] [Average Rating:6.87 Unranked]
Randy C
United States
Nashville
Tennessee
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I'll add another trio. These are 3 I received in past trades, all played once or twice by me and an unknown number of times by others. All are complete:

Wings of War - Famous Aces:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/9203

Mag-Blast, 1st edition:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/944

Mystery Rummy, Jekyll and Hyde:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/1265

Wings of War/Mag-Blast/Mystery Rummy -> Gnomes/Hellrail/Ark/Handwriting sample
 
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5. Board Game: When Darkness Comes [Average Rating:5.58 Overall Rank:12686]
David Tolin
United States
Beaumont
Texas
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I'll offer a trio, too:

When Darkness Comes -- Opened but never played, great shape.
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3801

Dancing Dice -- Opened, played once, great shape.
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/10756

GIPF -- Received in trade, played a few times, great shape.
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/527


Also, as Sweetener, I will offer one of the following:

1. Ten (10) used score sheets from various games in which I was the winner. These are, in fact, very collectible, as score sheets of this nature are incredibly rare.

2. An 8"x11.5" sheet of medium-weight copy paper bearing my own personal strategies for rolling dice, written in pencil. These notes will give you invaluable advice on how to roll dice in the most strategic and predictable manner.*

And, that's it! Who's next??

_________________________________________________________________

*(I make no warrants or guarantees as to the efficacy of any free advice obtained in this trade)
 
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6. Board Game: Age of Mythology: The Boardgame [Average Rating:6.15 Overall Rank:2552]
andrew lavish
United States
Connecticut
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I offer up the following package for U.S. Traders only...

Age of Mythology: The Boardgame - never played by me, perhaps once prior to my receiving it.

Frankenstein - unpunched

Anathema - Played sparingly, if at all

Raceday - 3 unopened packs

This package is offered up for When Darkness Comes/Dancing Dice/Gipf
 
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7. Board Game: Villa Paletti [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:1437]
Jon
United States
Massachusetts
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Fork on list
(no actual fork offered in this lot, sorry)


Villa Paletti

plus

Xhenor
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/31213



For the Darkness pack.

If this goes through, I'll need the dice rolling instructions (for the dancing dice).

I also offer, as a sweetener, some packets of sugar and splenda.


Villa Xhenor + Sweeteners -->
When Darkness Comes Trio + Sweetener -->
Wings of War/etc -->
Gnomes/Hellrail/Ark/Handwriting sample
 
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