I Hate This Game
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Tonight at our weekly Geek Night we played Agricola again. I lost track of how many times someone said something along the lines of "I hate this f*cking game."

Of course none of us really hate this game. In fact, the degree to which we "hate" a given game is in most cases inversely proportional to how much we actually like it.

We tend to reserve our most colorful and creative epithets for the games we have to work the hardest at to win, like our luckless bitch Agricola. Games that we mindlessly skip through--Bang, Risk: Legacy or Settlers--games which are likeable enough but undeserving of our malice...these games don't piss us off enough when we play, so we play them happily, which is to say without the proper amount of fury.

So...which games do you hate/love because they are heartless and hate you and abuse your concentration?

I'll start with the cruelest one of all.
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1. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:8.02 Overall Rank:17]
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I hate this game.
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2. Board Game: Dominant Species [Average Rating:7.84 Overall Rank:56]
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I've only played this once and I won, but I'm pretty sure I hate the f*ck out of this game.
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3. Board Game: Innovation [Average Rating:7.24 Overall Rank:279]
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I really hate this little bastard.
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4. Board Game: Merchants & Marauders [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:201]
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I hate those do-gooder merchants, too cowardly to live a life of crime.
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5. Board Game: Power Grid [Average Rating:7.91 Overall Rank:31]
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I hate powering things.
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6. Board Game: Stone Age [Average Rating:7.62 Overall Rank:79]
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You pissed away a 1-7 resource-of-your-choice hut on 2 woods? I hate you!
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7. Board Game: 7 Wonders [Average Rating:7.80 Overall Rank:43]
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That one military my neighbor has? The one that tops off his total in Age 3 and ends up slapping me with a negative 1 instead of a positive 10...I hate you very, very much.
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8. Board Game: Glen More [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:257]
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I've only recently started hating this one, and I don't think I will constantly hate it, but I promise that I'll try to hate it as much as I possibly can.
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9. Board Game: Eclipse [Average Rating:7.97 Overall Rank:33]
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I haven't even played this one yet, but I just know I'm gonna hate the hell out of it.
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10. Board Game: Conquest of Paradise [Average Rating:6.88 Overall Rank:1498]
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More people should hate this one.
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11. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.06 Overall Rank:16]
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Why should you hate role selection? I'll tell you why...BECAUSE ROLE SELECTION HATES YOU!
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12. Board Game: Ticket to Ride [Average Rating:7.46 Overall Rank:127] [Average Rating:7.46 Unranked]
Dan Edelen
United States
Mount Orab
Ohio
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I hate TtR because it never fails that I am one player away from laying down all my routes, only to have that player lay down the one route that usurps the backbone of everything I've worked for.

Never. Fails. EVAR.
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13. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.22 Overall Rank:284] [Average Rating:7.22 Unranked]
Gastel Etswane
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Peterborough
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I hate that noone will give me Wood for Sheep! Hate. Hate. Hate.
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14. Board Game: In the Year of the Dragon [Average Rating:7.40 Overall Rank:221]
A.J. Sansom
United States
Saint Charles
Missouri
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I love the hate that this game generates! If you are a compassionate, kind person who likes to help out everyone and save all of the innocent villagers/workers, this game will make you go crazy!

I love it!
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15. Board Game: In the Shadow of the Emperor [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:857]
John Squires
United States
Brooklyn
New York
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I hate this game! Why doesn't anyone ever want me to be king? Why does everyone always seem to attack me instead of the leader? Why do I always forget one line in the rulebook that screws me in the end? Why do people remind others about such rules but never me?
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16. Board Game: Lords of Vegas [Average Rating:7.33 Overall Rank:353]
Brad Morgan
United States
Schenectady
New York
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I hate this game! You mean I strategically went about constructing this entire casino, saved the cash to force a re-roll for ownership, in which I had 6 dice and you had 1, and you still out-rolled me:

You:6
Me: 554431

cry I hate this game! cry

(Actually, maybe I just hate my 9 year old son who seems to be able to roll a 6 whenever he wants as if he made some sort of evil deal with the devil! whistle)
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17. Board Game: Ghost Stories [Average Rating:7.37 Overall Rank:194]
Matt Connellan
United States
Binghamton
New York
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I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword.
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Man, I hate you, Ghost Stories. Everything is cruising along nicely and then WHAM - a tidal wave of ghost replicate themselves into play followed by a Black Widow. SMASH - the Tea House gets insta-haunted, taking away your black token that you needed to banish all those fast ghosts in the corner. CRUSH - Uncatchable comes out to play and there is nowhere to put a Buddha.

Sure, I'll set you up again for another play, but be aware that I'm doing so with HATRED in my heart.
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18. Board Game: Elder Sign [Average Rating:7.01 Overall Rank:468]
Shane Charleson
Australia
Broadbeach
Queensland
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I hate you, Elder Sign dice - you know that I need 1 fear, and you NEVER give it to me. You are sentient, I know this, and I know that you are sitting in the box, just waiting to consume me with madness and anger, and I hate you.

And I hate that I am powerless against you...what's that, dice? You want me to roll you again? Well, I guess one more roll can't hurt me, I mean, all I need is 3 investigation.
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19. Board Game: Dominion [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:72] [Average Rating:7.66 Unranked]
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Dear Dominion:
Thank you for giving my a**hole opponent the following hand: Village, Throne Room, Witch, Market, Militia.
I hate your guts.
-Top Hat 1969
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20. Board Game: Survive: Escape from Atlantis! [Average Rating:7.32 Overall Rank:234]
Tom Foolery
Canada
Cambridge
Ontario
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While it might be dangerous to have three of my most valuable little islanders in one ship, I've basically got them free and clear, ready to jump to safety next turn.

Wait what does that tile do? You can put the Sea Monster on any unoccupied space!? Well this is getting scary now, but as long as no one rolls the...

Dammit.
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21. Board Game: Ascension: Deckbuilding Game [Average Rating:7.04 Overall Rank:507] [Average Rating:7.04 Unranked]
Peter Batterton
United States
Georgetown
Texas
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SpiderCat. Direct from the 9th plane of Hell. Adoptions are held every 666 days .
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iOS. Four players (three AI most difficult). I am dealt an awesome hand. You know the hand. The "Once a Game Hand". It makes me smile.

There it is! THAT card! I want that card right there. I love that card. If I get that card, I will win the game. I can get it on my turn. I have just enough Runes to get it.

Two players have gone and its still there. I will get the card on my turn as soon as last player finishes his turn. It will be mine. There is no way the last player can get it. NO WAY.

And it gone . . . .

Well this is just f*cking perfect! Stupid player; Stupid game!! [GRUNTS], I wanna punch someone in the face! Motherf*cker! Motherf*cker! {enunciating} Motherf*cker! [SCREAMS] F*ck! That stupid player, [GROANS]. F*ck!!

(bonus points if you know the quote)

Pb

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22. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.06 Overall Rank:511]
Eric Kouris
France
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I can't explain. I played it once, a long, long time ago and I hated it almost on first sight (of course I also lost almost on first sight too).
Since then, I hate it all the same, although I've never seen it again.
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23. Board Game: Pandemic [Average Rating:7.65 Overall Rank:73]
Anthony Harlan
United States
Orlando
Florida
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Bert, what utter nonsense!
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Step 1: Things are bad.
Step 2: Things get worse.
Step 3: See Step 2.
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24. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.82 Overall Rank:15448]
Solomon M. Green
Australia
Armadale
Victoria
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I hate this game because even if I owned it, I would not be allowed to play it in my home. I hate this game because so many people keep adding this game to Geek lists, so, I hate this game, I hate this game, I hate this game.
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25. Board Game: Lord of the Rings [Average Rating:6.77 Overall Rank:714]
Marc von Canal
United States
Palm Bay
Florida
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I hate that this game has not made the list yet!

I so very much hate this game because every time we play, the game lets us make it just far enough to feel like we might make it to Mordor or even Mount Doom, only to chew us up with consecutive event tiles and spit us out into Sauron's darkness!

I hate it so much that after 20 tries we need to try again!!!
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