A Christmas Carol for the Disillusioned Gamer

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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We all have such high hopes for gaming during the holiday season:

"Yes! Family gathering time! Lots of people and spare time! I'll make sure to bring Power Grid and Agricola! Oh, and Eclipse from Secret Santa! Oh.. Ticket To Ride! For a good gateway experience! This will be so great! I love Christmas!"

Well. Some of us [incl. yours truly] have that luxury, but here's to the rest of you poor souls who will be stuck explaining Incan Gold for the thirteenth time to the third group of players while rescuing gems and cards from the pool of eggnog Aunt Barbara just spilled all over the table.

I present to you the disillusioned holiday gamer's Twelve Days of Christmas. Perhaps you can relate.
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1. Board Game: Bunco Party [Average Rating:3.28 Overall Rank:15534]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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On the 1st day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
A part game of Bunco Party...
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2. Board Game: GUBS: A Game of Wit and Luck [Average Rating:6.00 Overall Rank:3994]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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On the 2nd day of Christmas,
I played relucantly:
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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3. Board Game: Bridge for One [Average Rating:4.80 Unranked]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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On the 3rd day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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4. Board Game: Scrabble [Average Rating:6.29 Overall Rank:1525]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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On the 4th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.

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5. Board Game: Things... [Average Rating:6.13 Overall Rank:3037] [Average Rating:6.13 Unranked]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 5th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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6. Board Game: Guesstures [Average Rating:5.95 Overall Rank:3986]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
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On the 6th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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7. Board Game: Scene It? Movie [Average Rating:5.52 Overall Rank:13802] [Average Rating:5.52 Unranked]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 7th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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8. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.39 Overall Rank:15674]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 8th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Eight made-up strictures,
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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9. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.58 Overall Rank:14941]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 9th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Nine Asian land wars,
Eight made-up strictures,
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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10. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.65 Overall Rank:7858]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 10th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Ten Cluedo's, weeping,
Nine Asian land wars,
Eight made-up strictures,
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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11. Board Game: Phase 10 [Average Rating:5.08 Overall Rank:15633]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 11th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Phase 10... no wait, 11?!,
Ten Cluedo's, weeping,
Nine Asian land wars,
Eight made-up strictures,
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.

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12. Board Game: Trivial Pursuit [Average Rating:5.20 Overall Rank:15611]

Lacombe
Louisiana
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Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Avatar
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On the 12th day of Christmas,
I played reluctantly:
Twelve dumbass in-laws,
Phase 10... no wait, 11?!,
Ten Cluedo's, weeping,
Nine Asian land wars,
Eight made-up strictures,
Seven styles of Scene It?,
Six Guesstures playoffs,
Five hours of Things...
Four challenged words,
Three friends' hands,
Two turns of GUBS,
And a part game of Bunco Party.
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