Thrift Shop: A Parody
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For those of you not "in the know", there's a song popular on the radio right now called "Thrift Shop" about buying all one's clothes at a thrift store to be unique and save money. It's a neat little song, even if it does have some coarse language. I've linked a clean version below.

Bored one fine evening, I decided to write a parody about thrifting board games. Anybody who follows the weekly thrift lists will hopefully chuckle internally once or twice. Enjoy. I'll Geeklist this for kicks and post a comment at the bottom with the whole lyrics so you can follow along easier.

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1. Board Game: Kingmaker [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1803]
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Hey, Bobpony! Can we go thrift shopping?

[Hook:]
Gotta hair-dry some tags,
On my twenty copies of Pentago,
I’m on my thrift run, looking for a Haba
Kingmaker? This is awesome!
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2. Board Game: Khet: The Laser Game [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:1668]
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Nah, walk into my home at night, "Honey, I got a big haul!"
I'm so pumped about my Khet from the thrift shop,
Hamsters gettin’ primed, laser’s gettin’ funny
But my wife like, “You keep spendin’ all our money!”
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3. Board Game: Talisman [Average Rating:6.36 Overall Rank:1935]
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Talisman, Castle Keep, all of ‘em are new in shrink,
Parts are all mint, Yahtzee Junior dice, indented green
Dune for a dollar shrinked, hidden in the magic flea,
Prolly shoulda passed up Blokus, smells like some moldy feet
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4. Board Game: Monopoly [Average Rating:4.38 Overall Rank:17127]
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But hey, it was ninety-nine cents! (Bag it)
Checkin' it, shelvin' it, 'bout to go and post some part requests,
Passin' up on those Monopoly’s someone else's been eyeballin’
But Rio Grande? Thriftin’ it man!
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5. Board Game: Acquire [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:223]
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I am wheelin' and dealin' and
Savin' my money on a Wits & Wagers, That's a bargain, Dom!
I'ma snag yo pop’s Acquire, I'ma snag yo pop’s Acquire
No for real - ask your grandpa - can I have his Sid Sacksons? (Can’t Stop)
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6. Board Game: Jati [Average Rating:5.40 Unranked]
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Monad and Sleuth and some chicken tokens
Look, a mint bookshelf Jati from the outlet diggin'
They had a Vegas Showdown, I bought a Vegas Showdown
I bought a Crossfire, then I bought dominoes
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7. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.05 Overall Rank:547]
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Gulo Gulo, Torres, and a Quarto
Juxta ain't got nothing on my Diplomacy’s, nope
I could take some tiles, ghoul ‘em out, sell those
Other thrifters be like "Aw, he got the Rack-O!"
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8. Board Game: Kingmaker [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1803]
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[Hook:]

Gotta hair-dry some tags,
On my twenty copies of Pentago,
I’m on my thrift run, looking for a Haba
Kingmaker? This is awesome!
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9. Board Game: Heroscape Master Set: Rise of the Valkyrie [Average Rating:7.43 Overall Rank:290] [Average Rating:7.43 Unranked]
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What you know about thriftin’ HeroScape expansions?
You know how to look for the sparkle hexes?
I'm diggin, I'm diggin’, I'm ripping right through that Scotch tape
Box lid’s trashed, but got another in my parts shed
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10. Board Game: Battleball [Average Rating:6.27 Overall Rank:2428]
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Spot a Battleball donated with the outsert
Grab Mille Bornes for the thumbin'
I'm at the Goodwill, the good ones up in Oregon
I'm not, I'm not sick of campin’ out the backroom (cart grab!)
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11. Board Game: Twixt [Average Rating:6.60 Overall Rank:1649]
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Ingenious, your Tigris, your Tikal, your Rumis
I'll take those Ravensburger labels, lightning hands, elbow that code scanner
I’ll rescue Twixt, grabbin’ dice from that Sharp Shooters
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12. Board Game: Bora Bora [Average Rating:7.57 Overall Rank:169]
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I hit the game nights and they’re playin’ Bora Bora
They be like, "The new Feld game - that’s elegant."
I'm like, "Yo - that's fifty dollars for some wood cubes."
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13. Board Game: Zombicide [Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:388] [Average Rating:7.21 Unranked]
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Kickstarter edition, let's do some simple addition
Eighty dollars for a board game - that's just the cult of the new
I call that getting swindled for some bits
I call that over-paying for the Hotness
That’s a lot of dough
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14. Board Game: BANG! [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:1130]
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And playing the same game as six other tables in this shop is so boring, yo
3M games, come take a look at my bookshelf Go
Trying to get retail for a Bang!? Man, you smokin’ dope
Man, you smokin’ dope


Goodwill.. DAV... Yeah!
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15. Board Game: Kingmaker [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1803]
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[Hook:]

Gotta hair-dry some tags,
On my twenty copies of Pentago,
I’m on my thrift run, looking for a Haba
Kingmaker? This is awesome!
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16. Board Game: A Game of Thrones (First Edition) [Average Rating:7.25 Overall Rank:362]
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[Bridge:]

I just play pre-owned games
I never overpay
Just thrifted Game of Thrones,
From that thrift shop down the road
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17. Board Game: Kingmaker [Average Rating:6.49 Overall Rank:1803]
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[Hook:]

Gotta hair-dry some tags,
On my twenty copies of Pentago,
I’m on my thrift run, looking for a Haba
Kingmaker? This is awesome!


You thrifted Game of Thrones?!?
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