In honor of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest I present another full-blown contest list. Bulwer-Lytton's $GeekGold$ takes place in the games section of the. BGG Jeopardy takes place in the list comments section at the bottom. There will also be a daily mini-contest so check back in when you can. Fawkes, Sky Knight X, and Octavian have kindly agrees to act as judges. I usually also judge, but this time it would put me in a financial conflict of interest (see Friday mini-contest). For now though, put your inner monkey in front of the keyboard and try to win...
Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton was a popular 19th century author and playwright who coined such phrases as “The pen is mightier than the sword,” “the great unwashed” and “pursuit of the almighty dollar.” Today, however, he is usually regarded as a byword for bad writing since his prose strikes many contemporary readers as anachronistic and overly embellished, though at least one of his works (The Last Days of Pompeii) is still regularly read. His name lives on, however, in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, inspired by his novel Paul Clifford, which opens with the famous words:
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
To play this game you have to write the opening sentence to a terrible (imaginary) novel; a sentence that's so bad a reader would immediately close the book and throw it in the trash. Here is the actual winning sentence of the 2006 competition...
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
The "novel" can be any genre: sci-fi, detective, romance, you name it. Since we are gamers, our own little contest must have a game reference. Here is a 2006 runner-up example...
"Detective Otto Slugbert liked to compare himself to a legendary chess master, but his arch-enemy Bert Boswell often sneered that at best he resembled a merely average player of Mille Bornes or Tri-Ominoes."
The game title mentioned need not be in context. For example, starting a sentence with, "As I landed on the island of Puerto Rico..." would be acceptable. Post the game (or one of the games) mentioned below on the list and add your bad sentence to the description. The picture need not be the game referenced if you feel that something else will illustrate the action. (I've posted an example in the #1 slot.) Here are the rules...
1) An entry must consist of a single sentence. Sentences may be of any length (though you go beyond 50 or 60 words at your peril).
2) Only on entry per contestant (although the same game may be used by multiple contestants).
3) Resist the temptation to work with puns like "It was a stark and dormy night."
The trick is to go over-the-top into the realm of very bad, but not so far over that it's obvious that you're winking at the reader. Winners will receive...
1st: 15gg!, 2nd: 10gg!, 3rd: 7gg!, 4th: 5gg!, 5th: 3gg!
This contest will end at midnight BGG-Time (CST) on Friday, July 28th, when the judging will begin. Message me with any questions. If you need further inspiration, here is a link to the 2006 San Jose State winners: http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm
- [+] Dice rolls